


When every star falls from the sky and every last heart in the world breaks

by Tess_84



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:00:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 116,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tess_84/pseuds/Tess_84
Summary: The view beyond the window is breathtaking, the strange, new planet glittering thousands and thousands of miles below them. The new chance that Monty has given them, that he and Harper died to make sure they got. It’s a lot to take in, so they stay in front of the window for a long time, doing just that, silence stretching between them.Bellamy is the first so break it.“So…” he starts, voice a little rough, “what now?”Clarke pulls in a deep breath and blows it back out. “Now… I guess we try to do what Monty wanted, be the good guys, not make the same mistakes again. Try to be worthy of this new chance he and Harper gave us.”Can they be? She really hopes so.My version of a possible, if extremely unlikely (for various reasons), season 6.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys!  
> So, this is my first fanfic on this site, in this fandom and for Bellarke - and it's been... seven years, oh my God, since I wrote anything, so I'm basically a newbie again! I'm pretty new to the fandom as well, I only discovered the show about a year ago and finished the first four seasons in November last year. I had almost an entire vision of season 5 written in my head, but never got around to actually putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), and then the season premiered, and, well... But when the final episodes got closer and closer, I found myself starting a new story in my head that I realized would actually work after the big season finale, so here we are! I'm sure the actual season won't be anything like this, but we have to get our Bellarke kicks somewhere, right?  
> I'm not sure about the whole tags thing, so I've probably erred on the side of too cautious - I don't want to give too much away! I'll do my best to put warnings at the beginning of chapters that might contain triggers, but feel free to nudge me if I forget ;) One thing right from the start that might be good to get out there - this is canon compliant up until the end of season 5, which means that Becho is a thing at the beginning of this story, but mainly as a narrative tool, there will barely be any Becho scenes, though the relationship will be referenced. But now you have been warned!  
> I wanted to explore this story from both Clarke and Bellamy's point of view, so the chapters will alternate in POV - chapter 1 will be from Clarke's POV, chapter 2 from Bellamy's and so on. I hope it doesn't get too confusing, I wanted to have access to both of their thoughts and feelings, and their interactions with others as well.  
> Title is from the Robin Schulz and James Blunt song OK, if anyone's wondering.  
> Finally - I don't own the 100 or any of the characters in this story (except the ones I made up myself). OK, let's get on with the story!

Clarke doesn’t know how long she and Bellamy just stand there, looking out at the planet below them – their new _home_. The thought is mindboggling, as is the concept that Monty and Harper are gone, so she pushes everything else away for the moment and just focuses on the warm, solid presence beside her.

She’s vaguely aware of Jordan saying something about checking on Monty’s algae farm and whatever rations they have, and then his steps fading away until they’re gone completely.

Bellamy is the first so break the silence.

“So…” he starts, voice a little rough, “what now?”

Clarke pulls in a deep breath and blows it back out. “Now… I guess we try to do what Monty wanted, be the good guys, not make the same mistakes again. Try to be worthy of this new chance he and Harper gave us.”

She feels, more than hears, the chuckle Bellamy lets out.

“Well, that’s a given,” he says. “I was thinking more along the lines of an actual, practical plan though. A next step. But if you want to get philosophical…”

She pulls away from him enough so that he can see her rolling her eyes.

“How was I supposed to know that?”

This time, his laugh is louder, echoing between the metal walls, and Clarke soaks it up. She honestly can’t remember the last time she heard him laugh – and the occasional ironic chuckle doesn’t count. Though if she’s honest, they haven’t exactly had a lot of things to laugh about in the time she’s know him. She’s hoping this will change.

Pondering his question, she reluctantly ducks out from under the arm he has slung around her shoulders so she can sit down on the floor in front of the large window, angling her body so she can see the planet outside it and also Bellamy, where he sits down a few feet away from her, mirroring her position. But she immediately misses his arm around her shoulders, his body pressed against her side, so she reaches a hand forward, at the same time as he extends his, and their fingers interlace in the middle. He gives her hand a soft squeeze and she returns it with a smile.

“I think the first step should be getting down there,” she says, thoughtfully. “Getting a lay of the land, figure out where this planet actually _is_.”

Bellamy’s quiet for a moment, turning away from her to look completely out the window before meeting her eyes again, eyebrows raised. Before he can say anything, she continues.

“I know it’s _right there_ , I wasn’t talking about its physical location.” Clarke tries to come up with a way to explain it that will make the most sense. “I mean more like… where it is in _time_. Evolution wise.”

“Right.” Bellamy nods in understanding. “You mean are we going to be pissing off amoebas running around the oceans or modern day man with nuclear weapons that can wipe us out with the push of a button.”

It’s Clarke’s turn to let out a low laugh. “Well, if we are dealing with amoebas, I doubt they’ll be doing much running.”

Bellamy gives her an unimpressed look. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. And yeah, exactly that. Is the planet even inhabited and, if so, by whom? I mean, it’s clearly Earth equivalent, or whatever, and I would never question Monty if he says… said it will be livable.” A wave of sadness rush through her at the thought of Monty, Harper… Bellamy must notice, because he squeezes her hand again before starting to rub soothing patterns with his thumb against the back of her hand. She swallows hard, both to get rid of the lump that’s formed in her throat and to tamp down on the burst of electricity his touch sends up her arm, and keeps going. “But the thing is, there are so many stages of evolution and we could be walking into any one of those. Dinosaurs, cavemen, religious crusades, environmental problems… Or this planet could have evolved in a completely different way than Earth did, which would mean we’d be dealing with something completely new and unknown. Not to mention the Eligius Three project. Considering how well we dealt with them the first time, I’m not really looking forward to a repeat.”

Bellamy nods slowly and Clarke knows, without even having to ask, that he’s running everything she’s said through his head, drawing his own conclusions and figuring out a course of action.

“OK, so our top priority – get down there to see what we’re up against,” he summarizes after a moment. “Make sure the planet’s actually livable, that there aren’t any blood thirsty animals or natives or Eligius nuts or whatever that’ll attack the moment we hit the ground, scope out the situation when it comes to water and food sources, and find a suitable place to start building a settlement.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agrees. “That sounds like a good starting point. Which also leads to the next question – do we wake everyone else up? Just some of them? Who?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had a crash course in flying a spaceship, so we’ll need Raven, and maybe Shaw, to even get down there,” Bellamy reasons. “Apart from that, I don’t know… Madi? She’s supposed to be the Commander, making all the decisions, should she be in on this too?”

Clarke’s whole mind rebels against that thought. Logically, she knows that Madi is the Commander and will remain the Commander, especially since she went and changed the passphrase so nobody but her can remove the damn AI chip. But she’s still just a kid…

“We’ll let Madi sleep for now,” Bellamy continues, as if he’s read her mind, and maybe he has. Clarke’s pretty sure her feelings on this particular subject can be seen all over her face. “Once we’re down there and trying to get a society going we can use the insights she has from the previous Commanders, especially when it comes to getting everybody to agree with whatever plan we come up with. Still, do we wake up any other decision makers? Like a council? How about your mom?”

Clarke automatically shakes her head. “She just detoxed from a serious drug addiction and overdose,” she says, even though she supposes it technically happened over a century ago. “Besides, she needs to focus on Kane, on preparing to operate or whatever needs to be done once we bring him out of cryo.”

Bellamy nods. “OK, so not her. Octavia’s obviously not the leader of Wonkru anymore, if there even is a Wonkru…” He pauses for a moment. “Diyoza? She might be a good resource if we do run into Eligius.”

Clarke contemplates that for a few seconds. “I don’t know, I really don’t trust her,” she finally says. “And if that Eligius project even got here, they have at least a century on us. If we do come across them, it won’t be the original prisoners but their descendants, so she might not be any help.”

“That’s true. Maybe we should just ask Jordan if Monty left any other instructions on who to wake up after us?”

Clarke nods in agreement, trying very hard not to linger on the fact that he didn’t suggest waking Echo up. It doesn’t mean anything, he’s just thinking practically.

“Should we go look for him?” she wonders. “He’s been gone a while.”

Bellamy glances over his shoulder, at the door to the bridge that Jordan disappeared through a while ago.

“Honestly, he probably knows this ship a lot better than we do, we’d just get lost looking for him,” he says. “Besides, he might need some time to himself to come to terms with… everything. I’m sure he’ll find us again when he’s ready.”

“Yeah.”

Turning her head back to the window in front of them, Clarke studies the planet in silence. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bellamy still watching her, a small crease between his eyebrows as if he’s pondering something.

“Listen…” he says after a long moment, voice low but serious. “I wanted to… I know I said that Madi told me not to be mad at you and all that, but I just wanted to say… she didn’t need to. I forgave you long before she told me to. I don’t even know why I said that.”

Clarke bites her lip as she turns back to face him, but there’s nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“How? I left you to…” she cuts herself off, can’t say the word _die_. Not about him. “I thought you were…”

“I know, trust me.” He runs his hand, the one not still holding hers, through his hair. “And I’m not going to say that I wasn’t pissed, that it didn’t hurt. It did. Especially…” He briefly touches his right cheek before lowering his hand back to his lap.

“Oh God,” Clarke exclaims, a nervous laugh bubbling up in her throat at the memory and she covers her mouth with her free hand to keep it in. “I totally forgot that I slapped you! I’m so sorry… and not just for that, for… all of it. I never should have left you back there. I was just… I was so mad, I couldn’t…”

“Hey,” he cuts her off gently. “I already told you I forgive you, you don’t have to apologize. And I get it. I didn’t at the time, but after you left, I had time to think and I realized that, if the tables had been turned, if you had been the one to force something she didn’t want on Octavia, even if you thought it was the only way to save us all, I probably would have done the same exact thing.”

She tries to believe him, she really does, but it’s hard, because she knows him – he would never leave anyone behind unless there was absolutely no other choice. And also because she spent so many days back then with the words _he’s dead and it’s your fault_ running on repeat in her mind.

“I do still believe I did the right thing,” he continues, eyeing her cautiously, as if he’s expecting a blow-up. “I understand why you did what you did, but I don’t think we would have all made it if it hadn’t been for Madi being the Commander. I did what I had to do to save my family, and I know you don’t believe it, but you are a part of that. You always will be, even if you can never forgive me.”

She lets his words sink in for a moment. _Family_. If she’s being honest with herself, which she rarely was back then – a week ago, 125 years? It’s like her body has registered all the intervening years and knows it’s been a long, long time, but her mind is still trying to catch up – that was the thing that had hurt the most. That he didn’t consider her one of his people anymore, that she had been removed from the group that Bellamy Blake would do anything for, would lay down his own life for.

And now… if she does believe him, which she so desperately wants to, maybe she never was.

“I…” Clarke starts after a moment, her voice breaking on the single syllable. She clears her throat before continuing, her eyes resolutely on the floor between them so she won’t have to see the look on his face, because she’s pretty sure it will break her. “I wanted to go back, almost before I even left. As soon as we were in the wasteland, I just… I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t leave you there, even if you did put the AI chip in Madi’s head… but I had to get her to safety, I had to get my mom back… so I just kept going, even though every single fiber of my being was screaming at me to turn around, go back, _you can’t leave him there_ …”

She doesn’t realize she’s started crying until Bellamy’s thumb traces along her cheek, wiping away the tears gathered there. He does the same on the other side before placing a finger under her chin and gently forcing her to look up, meeting his eyes.

“Hey,” he says softly, eyes so incredibly tender as he looks at her. “I’m still here, and you’re still here. We both did what we had to in that moment, just like we have countless of times before.”

The Dropship. Mount Weather. ALIE. Praimfaya.

“I’ve already said that I’ve forgiven you, but if you need to hear me say it I will – I. Forgive. You.” He pauses for a moment, his mouth tilting up slightly on one side in an almost half-smile. “Even if you can never forgive me, OK? That’s OK. As long as I know you’re alive and safe, I can live with that.”

Instinctively, Clarke shakes her head. How can he even question that?

“No, of course I forgive you, I already have. Did I not actually say that?”

The half-smile is a full blown, trademark Bellamy Blake smile by now.

“No, you didn’t. But good to know. Now, come here.”

He tugs on her hand and she willingly scoots across the few feet of space separating them. This time, she wraps both arms around him, interlacing her fingers against his side and holding on tight. His arms both come around her shoulders, squeezing tighter as well. She buries her nose in the spot where his neck meets his shoulder and breathes him in. A moment later, she feels his hot breath against the top of her head and she lets out a sigh, finally feeling that maybe they can be OK again.

They sit like that forever, or at least it feels that way, before Bellamy speaks again.

“Can we make a deal?” he asks, voice low, and Clarke nods against him. “Let’s treat this like a new chance for us too, a clean slate, OK? Everything in the past is in the past, I want to just move forward from this moment.”

She turns her head slightly so she can speak, but doesn’t actually pull away from him.

“I’d like that.”

He hugs her even tighter for a moment.

“Good.”

They’re still in the same position when Jordan returns some time later. Clarke hears his footsteps getting closer and then the swoosh of the door opening, and tries to pull away from Bellamy, but his arms are like steel bands around her and don’t give an inch.

“Right, so the algae farm is in pretty good shape, I could probably get it going again if I needed to,” Jordan says when he reaches them and they both pull back to be able to focus on him. He’s looking down at the floor as he speaks, as if he’s embarrassed about having interrupted their moment.

“Do we need to?” Bellamy asks, back in business mode. He stands up before extending a hand to Clarke, which she accepts, letting him pull her to her feet. He doesn’t let go of her hand once they’re both upright.

Jordan shrugs. “It depends on the plan, I guess. Dad must have harvested the farm before…” He pauses for a moment before clearing his throat. “Anyway, we have rations for a total of 600 days, which means roughly 6 months for the three of us. If we wake up anyone else, that would of course affect how long those would last. There’s enough water for a couple of months, but of course, as soon as we start… replenishing the supply, that shouldn’t be a problem no matter how many people we decide to wake up.”

Clarke makes a face as she remembers how exactly the water system works, but it’s not like they have another option up here. And besides, it was the same way on the Ark, and she’d never even thought about it back then. She can put up with it for a while.

“Did your dad leave instructions for what we do now? Waking up anyone else?” Clarke wonders and Jordan shakes his head.

“No, just that I should wake up you two first and you’d know what to do.”

Bellamy lets out a chuckle. “Gee, Monty, thanks for the vote of confidence!”

“Yeah, no pressure,” Clarke adds.

Jordan doesn’t seem to pick up on the irony in both their voices, just looks between them with a kind of puzzled expression.

“Anyway…” Clarke continues. “I think we’ve agreed on a sort of basic plan, we just wanted to check if you had any further instructions from your parents.”

Bellamy nods his assent as she speaks.

“OK, hit me!” Jordan says with a smile, and in that moment he looks so much like Monty that Clarke has to swallow hard before she can keep going.

“Right, we agreed that first priority should be to get down to the ground,” she said. “Assess the situation – what’s the planet like, where can we find food and water, what’s the inhabitant situation like at the moment, stuff like that.”

“Basically make sure we can actually live down there before we wake everyone else up,” Bellamy adds. “No point doing that if it turns out that this isn’t the new home we’re hoping for… not that we think your dad didn’t know what he was talking about.”

Jordan doesn’t seem to take offense to that.

“I think that sounds like a solid plan,” he says. “But we’ll need Raven for that, of course.”

Clarke nods. “And possibly Shaw, but we can let Raven decide that once she’s awake,” she reasons. “What would that do to the rations situation?”

Jordan counts in his head for a moment, his lips moving slightly as he tries to calculate the effect.

“With Raven we’re down to five months, with Shaw as well we would be down to around four.”

Bellamy gives her a questioning look, eyebrows raised, and Clarke shrugs.

“I feel like that should be fine,” she says. “Worst case scenario, one of us, or even both, could go back into cryo temporarily if we start running out of rations.”

Bellamy nods thoughtfully.

“How long would it take to get the algae farm producing?” he asks Jordan.

“At least three or four months,” Jordan replies. “The plants are in good shape, but they’re in fallow and need some time to get back to producing food. Should I get started on that?”

“Maybe just in case,” Bellamy says. “It can’t hurt to have a backup plan if things go to hell down there.”

“Such an optimist,” Clarke teases, and Bellamy gives her an incredulous look.

“With our track record?” he says. “You better believe I’m going to think of the worst possible scenario and assume that’s what’s going to happen.”

Clarke sighs. “OK, point. Still, I think it’s about time our luck turns.

Bellamy lets go of her hand so he can wrap an arm around her shoulders again and pulls her close.

“I love that you can still think like that,” he says and a rush of warmth flashes through Clarke. “But I won’t believe it until I see it, sorry.”

 _Get a grip,_ she tells herself firmly as he turns back to talk to Jordan about the algae. _It’s not like he said that he loves_ you _, and even if he had, it wouldn’t be the way you want it to be._

She listens half-heartedly to the boys’ discussion about the algae farm. Apparently, Bellamy had helped Monty with the farm on the Ring quite a bit, so he has some suggestions that Jordan seems to take into consideration. Since she can’t really contribute to the conversation, Clarke turns back to the window and the view of the planet beyond it, hoping against hope that it will provide the new chance they all so desperately need. If they deserve it… well, they’ll just have to make sure that they do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thanks for the response on the first chapter, and an extra big thanks to arielmedz, Gabus90, Mandy_The101, Jasmine, Anna, karistudies and stillwatching, who took the time to review - your comments made my day!
> 
> Moving on with the story, and switching to Bellamy's POV in this one. Some references to Becho, but hopefully not too much - that relationship has to be dealt with and I'm trying to do it as carefully as possible, so please, no negative comments on Becho in general...
> 
> As always, I don't own the characters or anything related to The 100.

**-2-**

 

Bellamy reluctantly lets his arm fall from around Clarke’s shoulders and steps closer to Jordan, who’s starting up a computer on one of the desks in the bridge.

“All of Dad’s notes on the farm should be in here,” he says. “I helped him a lot with it when I was a kid, before they put me in cryo, of course, but I want to go through them before we start working on it. Refresh my memory a little.”

“Sure,” Bellamy agrees, looking over Jordan’s shoulder as he pulls up a file.

He nods as his eyes run down the page. “OK, so like I thought, Dad harvested the entire farm so there would rations for us once we woke up, and then he let it lie in fallow, sort of – the plants are still there, but only below ground. I’m sure you remember how long it takes to get them producing.”

“It took your dad a couple of months on the Ring,” Bellamy replies. “But we can do it?”

“Absolutely. Dad’s left good instructions – he was always such a worry wart.”

There’s a hint of sadness in Jordan’s voice, but mostly fondness. Bellamy remembers how particular Monty had been with the algae farm on the Ring, not really letting anyone else, except for Bellamy, help out with it, and he knew that was only because Monty was worried about him.

“I think it’s probably more about the farm than him not thinking you could do it,” he offers. “He was always kind of territorial about the farm while we were on the Ring.”

Jordan chuckles. “You could be right about that. OK, so we’ll take a look at the farm together, see what needs to be done. Should we wake up Raven first, fill her in on the whole situation?”

“That might be a good idea,” Bellamy says. “Clarke?”

She doesn’t respond, so Bellamy turns away from Jordan and the computer to find her staring out the large window, hand raised in front of her as if she could reach out and touch the planet below them. The image tugs on something deep inside him and he’s overcome with an almost violent desire to do whatever it takes to ensure that this new world, their second chance, will treat her better than the first one did. She deserves it, and he’s determined to see it happen.

She’s clearly enthralled by the view in front of her, and he doesn’t want to spook her by raising his voice, so he joins her at the window again, placing a hand gently on her shoulder to get her attention. She turns her head at the touch, a soft smile on her lips and God, he’s missed it. He returns it and squeezes her shoulder once.

“We were talking about waking Raven up,” he says. “We need to have a look at the farm, get some work done there to get it up and running again, but we figured it might be a good idea to get her caught up before. What do you think?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan,” she agrees. “How does that work, Jordan? You already woke us up so I’m assuming you know how to do it.”

“I just need to get her file up in the system in the cryo chamber,” he replies. “It’ll only take a moment.”

“So, let’s go?” Bellamy says, eyebrows raised in a question.

Clarke nods quickly, but the smile slips off her lips and he can see some sort of hesitation in her eyes.

“Of course.”

He gives her a long, scrutinizing look before turning to Jordan.

“You go ahead, get everything ready,” he tells the other man. “We’ll be there in a minute.”

Jordan nods and leaves the bridge. Bellamy waits until the door closes with a soft swoosh behind him before turning back to Clarke.

“What’s up, Princess?” he asks when she doesn’t say anything after a moment, the old nickname falling from his lips effortlessly. Clarke doesn’t seem to notice, though, her eyes on the floor between them, her teeth worrying her bottom lip in a way that is not at all cute and certainly doesn’t make him want to tug her lip free so he can either sooth the sting with his lips or pull it between his own teeth… _Focus, Blake, not the time._

He doesn’t know what he and Echo are, not really, but they are _something_ , and he’s not going to be that guy. When things between them had started, it had been just sex – they’d both been in a bad place when the day they were supposed to be able to go back to the Ground came and went, and Raven finally told them all that she hadn’t been able to figure out a way to get them down with the little fuel they had – at least not one that wouldn’t result in a fiery crash.

After that, they’d sort of fallen into a routine where one of them would seek the other out once or twice a week, usually late at night. Sometimes they’d fall asleep together after, but one of them would always leave before the other woke up in the morning, and it had been fine. What he needed at the time and, he hopes, what she needed too. He doesn’t like to think he was taking advantage of her… He cares about her, of course he does, loves her even – she’s family at this point – but it’s not like they ever had the whole relationship talk. Would he call her his girlfriend? His thoughts turn to Gina, the only person who's ever really had that title, and it just… doesn’t fit. Still, they are in a relationship of some kind, and Echo deserves better than him moving on to someone else while she’s locked in a cryo pod.

Not that he knows Clarke would even be interested in something like that with him, but a guy can hope.

“I just… I pointed a gun at her, Bellamy,” Clarke finally says, voice small, pulling him back to the present.

Ah, there it is. That ever present guilt that’s been a part of her, of both of them, since Mount Weather… maybe even longer, especially for him. Atom, Wells, Charlotte… the list goes on and on.

He tries to make light of it, shrugging casually. “I think most of us have pointed guns or some other weapon at each other at this point, to be honest.” It’s only a half-joke, since it’s more or less true. He doesn’t have the mental capacity at the moment to go through all the people he calls close friends or family that have had a gun or sword pointed at him at one time or another, or has tried to kill him in some other way, but it’s safe to say it’s the majority.

“That’s not even funny,” Clarke grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and taking a step back, his hand falling from her shoulder.

Bellamy has to focus very hard to keep his eyes on hers and not let them wander down. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and sighs.

“I know. I just… we left you to _die_ , Clarke.” He still can’t say it without those dark, horrible images from his nightmares back then coming back in full force. The death wave washing over her, turning her into nothing more than dust. Her broken body disintegrating on a radiation soaked planet. He has to shake his head to get rid of them even now, when she’s right there in front of him, a physical reminder that her sacrifice wasn’t as final as he’d thought for six long, painful years. “I know you didn’t actually die, but still. I think you get a bit of a get out of jail free card after that one.”

Clarke shakes her head vigorously. “But I don’t want that to be an excuse. I did what I did because of Madi, and I…”

“And Raven will understand that,” he interrupts her, before she can launch into whatever she’s about to say. “Trust me, if anyone gets doing everything for the people you love, it’s Raven. Remember why she even ended up on the Ground to start with.”

He can tell that she does, of course she does. Finn was as much a part of Clarke’s life as he was of Raven’s, if only for a short time.

“It’s not the same,” she still insists.

“No, it’s not,” he admits, running a hand over his face as he contemplates what to say next. “Look, I know I can’t tell you what to do but just… talk to her. Let her see your side. I think she’ll surprise you.”

Clarke’s shoulders slump and she buries her face in her hands for a moment before meeting his eyes again.

“It just sucks,” she says tiredly. “I spent six years waiting for you guys to come back and when you finally did, it was nothing like I thought it would be.”

_It was nothing like I thought it would be either,_ he almost says. Not like the scenarios that would play out in his mind on the nights on the Ring when he was too tired or too empty or just too lonely to push the thought that _maybe_ , _just_ _maybe_ she had survived away. There had been so many different ones – her just standing there, outside the rocket’s door, when they landed, a dry _took you long enough_ as a greeting; them stumbling upon her among the trees while looking for water or food, _you’re alive_ mumbled in disbelief amongst the returning seven; her saving them from some mutated beast out to get them, an amused _not even back for a day and already getting into trouble_ and a laugh his first taste of her voice after years of trying to remember what she sounded like. Almost every time he indulged himself with these fantasies – because he had been so sure that they would never, _could_ never be reality – the actual scene had been different. It had always ended the same, though, with them wrapped tightly around each other, fingers clutching at limbs or pieces of clothing, words whispered into hair and skin – _I missed you, I’m so sorry, I love you, please don’t leave me again_.

“What did you think it would be like?” he asks after a moment, shaking the old thoughts away. He hopes she doesn’t catch the way his voice trembles slightly.

Part of him wants to know, but another part wonders if it will just be too much. Knowing what Clarke thought about, how she imagined their reunion would go, if she had hoped for that elusive _something more_ just like he had, might very well be the straw that breaks the camel’s figurative back.

Madi’s words – _she called you every day for six years_ – run through his mind, and he knows he should take the opportunity to bring that up as well. He doesn’t think the girl was lying, she had no reason to, but he needs to hear it from Clarke herself and, more importantly, _why_. Why him? Why did she never give up, not even when the five year time frame passed and they didn’t come back? Why had she never lost hope? There’s a small, insistent voice somewhere in the back of his mind that keeps saying that he _knows_ why – for the same reason that he never stopped looking for her while she was gone after Mount Weather, the same reason he put her name on that damn list before the end of the world. The same reason some infinitesimal part of him refused to accept that she was really gone while he was on the Ring.

“Not with us on opposite sides of another damn war, that’s for sure,” Clarke mumbles after a moment.

Bellamy puts any thoughts of the radio calls aside for the moment. They’ll have time to talk about it later.

“But now that war is over, and there are no more sides,” he says, voice determined, trying to convince himself as much as her. He desperately hopes that he’s right. “So can we please go wake up our friend and watch her freak out over having been asleep for over a century?”

He’s glad when that actually gets a laugh out of Clarke and makes a mental note to do what he can to get her to laugh more often. God knows she deserves it. And if it puts a warm feeling in his stomach, well, nobody has to know that.

“OK,” she agrees. “Let’s go.”

Jordan’s standing by a control panel just inside the door to the cryo chamber, Raven’s file pulled up on it with various numbers – heart and respiratory rate, body temperature. He looks from Bellamy to Clarke when they enter.

“All good? We ready for this?” he asks, and they both nod.

Jordan turns back to the control panel and taps a large, green button on one side of the screen before turning to face the chamber. Moments later, the lid on one of the pods, about twenty feet down the walkway between the two rows, starts to open, and all three of them make their way over to it, Jordan trailing a little behind.

Raven’s eyes are already open when they reach her and she gives them a blinding smile.

“Man, it’s good to see your ugly faces,” she says. “Feels like I’ve been asleep for a decade.”

Bellamy can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and then he makes the mistake of looking at Clarke, and it’s clear that she’s just barely holding it together. When she meets his eyes, they both burst out laughing, really laughing, a hold-your-side, tears-streaming kind of laugh. Raven’s eyes widen and she looks like she’s seriously thinking that they’ve finally lost it, and maybe they have. God knows they probably should have long ago.

Bellamy pulls himself together first, wiping away a few tears that escaped during their laughing fit and rubbing Clarke’s back to help her regain control.

“Try over a century,” he tells Raven, who looks even more confused as she pushes herself into a sitting position.

“What? Monty said ten years, we were supposed to wake up when the Earth had regenerated and we could go back. Did something go wrong with the tech? Because I checked all the systems myself and they were just fine, if he messed up in some way I swear I’ll…”

Her voice fades as Bellamy shakes his head, all amusement gone now.

“There’s someone you should meet,” Clarke says, stepping into the conversation and gesturing Jordan forward to join them.

Raven’s eyes narrow at the unfamiliar face.

“OK, I’m pretty sure you weren’t on this ship when we went to sleep, so someone better start explaining what the hell’s going on here soon,” she says, voice hard as steel and arms crossed over her chest. If she hadn’t still been sitting in the cryo pod, Bellamy’s sure she would be tapping a foot impatiently against the floor.

Jordan holds out his hand, which Raven hesitantly takes after reassuring nods from her friends.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he starts. “I’m Jordan Jasper Green, and you have been my hero since I was three years old and Dad told me about how you and Uncle Jasper rigged the Dropship to blast off during the first war with the Grounders.”

“Monty seriously told you about that when you were three?” Clarke questions and Bellamy chuckles.

“I bet Harper loved that,” he says and Jordan shrugs.

“It was our little secret.”

Raven just stares at all three of them, trying to put all the pieces together, and Bellamy can tell when it finally clicks for her.

“Are you seriously telling me that Monty and Harper put off cryo sleep to have a _kid_?” she asks, turning to Bellamy. “Where are they? I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.” Her head snaps back to Jordan. “Not that you don’t seem like a great guy, but decisions like that aren’t just made all willy-nilly.”

Bellamy takes a step forward, reaching out to squeeze her arm in preparation for what will no doubt be a shock.

“Raven, they didn’t put it off…” he starts, “they just didn’t do it.”

She stares at him for a long moment.

“What do you mean they didn’t do it? What are they… they’re just… they’re gone?”

Bellamy feels a lump in his throat as her voice breaks on the last word, and is grateful when Jordan once again takes charge.

“Mom and Dad decided to stay awake, to live on the ship. I think they wanted to get back to the time you guys spent on the Ring, they always talked about how happy they were there,” he says, a wistful smile on his face. “They had me a couple of years after you guys went into cryo. And then, when I was about eight, Dad realized that the Earth wasn’t coming back.”

Raven’s eyes widen impossibly. “It’s not coming back?”

Jordan shakes his head.

“When Dad figured that out, he started trying to hack into the Eligius system, which he apparently managed to do eventually. They had put me in cryo by then, so I don’t know how he finally did it. But he found out what that secret Eligius Three mission was about – they weren’t mining like Eligius Four, they were trying to find a planet with oil, since Earth was running out. And they found it. It’s in the Goldilocks zone of a binary star system, which means it should be suitable for humans, a sort of Earth equivalent, I guess. So Dad plugged the coordinates into the ship’s system, set everything up so that I would wake up when we’d reached the planet and…” He pauses for a moment. “Mom was already gone by then and I guess he just didn’t want to go on without her.”

Silence fills the room for a long moment, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Raven’s the first one to speak and Bellamy’s relieved to hear that insatiable curiosity that he has always connected with Raven color her words again. He knows she must have made a mental decision to put her grief over Monty and Harper aside for the moment and focus on the situation at hand, just like he and Clarke have silently agreed to do.

“So we’re there?” Raven asks, eyes darting around the room as if it will give her some kind of hint. “At this planet that’s supposed to be like Earth?”

Jordan nods enthusiastically. “We are. Come on, I think it’s easier if we just show you.”

He holds out a hand to Raven again, this time to help her down from her pod, and then leads the way out of the chamber. After a moment, Raven falls in step with Bellamy, leaving Jordan and Clarke a couple of feet ahead of them.

“So how long have you been awake?” Raven asks.

“Uh, a couple of hours, I guess,” Bellamy replies, and Clarke looks over her shoulder to nod in agreement. “Jordan?”

“I woke you two up as soon as I woke up myself, after I read the message that Dad left me with instructions, so about the same for me,” he replies.

“And why exactly were you two the first ones to be woken up?” Raven asks, not sounding put out by it, just curious.

Jordan shrugs without turning around. “That’s what Dad wanted, I don’t know why.”

Bellamy can tell that Raven’s about to ask something else, but at that moment, they enter the bridge and are met with the window showing their new planet, and instead, she just stops short, mouth hanging open in awe.

It’s just as breathtaking as when he and Clarke first saw it – can it really be only a few hours ago? – and again, Bellamy’s filled with a profound hope that maybe they can actually do it this time.

Raven takes a step, then two, closer to the window, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Oh my God.” It’s just a whisper, but somehow, Bellamy thinks, it summarizes the whole situation perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, chapter 2 and some of Bellamy's perspective and his feelings in general. 
> 
> I don't know if I'm downplaying the Becho relationship too much? I've gone through the scripts for season 5 and there's not much about them, really... So I might have chosen the easiest option, that it's basically just sex, because I just can't see anything more substantial between them... wishful thinking, I guess! Anyway, let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I've officially finished this story, wrapped up the epilogue yesterday, so I'll be stepping up the posting pace a little. My goal is twice a week, but don't kill me if I don't stick to that, I have a business to run and almost a social life ;) Thanks to those of you who left kudos or comments on the last chapter!
> 
> Third chapter coming up, not a lot of Bellarke in this one but some Clarke/Raven interaction, hopefully you'll like that. We're back to Clarke's POV as well (I don't know if I need to specify that before each chapter?).
> 
> OK, on with the story. I own nothing, of course.

**-3-**

 

They all give Raven some time to take in the whole situation, and most of all the planet beyond the window, but eventually she turns away from it, a determined look in her eyes that Clarke knows means business.

“So, did Monty put together a whole plan on how to colonize a planet, or are we on our own here?” the mechanic asks, looking between the three of them.

“Well, no, Dad didn’t leave a plan beyond ‘wake up Bellamy and Clarke first’,” Jordan admits.

“And we don’t know if we’ll even need to colonize it,” Bellamy adds, which earns a groan from Raven.

“I really hope we’re not going to find a bunch of natives who want to kill us just for landing on their planet,” she grumbles. “It wasn’t fun the first time around.”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that,” Clarke says, even though she’s far from convinced of that herself. “Even if the planet is inhabited, which we don’t know, we’ll have a completely different starting point – for one, we won’t be crashing down and accidentally killing hundreds of people by setting a village on fire.”

“Exactly,” Bellamy jumps in. “We thought we’ll try to figure out what’s down there before we wake everyone else up, easier to contain a potentially hostile situation with a limited number of people.”

“On the other hand, we won’t have strength in numbers if it does come to a fight,” Raven counters, thoughtfully. “But it’s not like either option is all that great…”

“Maybe we could try the communication system before we do anything else?” Clarke suggests, not sure why she didn’t think of it earlier. “If Eligius Three did make it here, they could still be using their old technology.”

Raven doesn’t respond to that, instead taking a few steps over to the closest computer and sinking down in a swivel chair before clicking a couple of buttons. She picks up a mic and brings it to her mouth.

“Eligius Three, this is Eligius Four, come in.” Clarke’s not sure what to expect, but there’s nothing, not even static, and she’s immediately reminded of all the calls she made to the Ring, to Bellamy, which received the same lack of response. She pushes the thought away and focuses on Raven. “Eligius Three, does anybody read me? This is Eligius Four, we’re currently in orbit above you and planning to land a transport ship. Come in.”

But still, there’s nothing. Raven fiddles with something on the screen and repeats her call a few time, but eventually stops. She doesn’t seem too disconcerted, though.

“It’s possible they are using the system but nobody’s there right now,” she explains. “If they’re on this planet, we don’t know _where_ they are, it could be the middle of the night for them. I’m setting up an automated call every fifteen minutes, on all the frequencies, and programming the system to alert us if someone responds, that way we won’t have to keep an ear on it all the time.”

This is exactly why they need Raven, Clarke realizes. She comes up with ideas nobody else would even think of.

“How long do you want to give it?” Bellamy asks. “We’ve got rations for a few months, but I’d still like to get down there and start figuring out how to move forward as soon as possible and not when we have to because we’re starting to run out of food.”

“Hold your horses,” Raven tells him. “We don’t even know how long a day is on this planet, it could be twice, three times as long as on Earth.”

“Actually,” Jordan intervenes, “I went through the info Dad had on the planet, from the original Eligius mission. It’s really pretty similar to Earth in all aspects, except for the whole two suns thing. The difference in size is negligible, and a day is around 25.5 hours, so a little longer than on Earth. The planet doesn’t have a moon, so not sure about months, but it orbits the two suns in 8,670 hours, which is…”

“340 days,” Raven contributes before he can finish the calculation in his head. “Right, I’ll let the calls run for 60 hours, if anyone’s down there they should hear us by then.”

“And if we don’t get a response?” Bellamy asks. “We can’t assume no one’s down there just because they don’t talk to us. The technology could have been lost, or they might not want to make contact with us for various reasons.”

“Then we go ahead with the initial plan,” Clarke says. “Get down there, check out the situation and hopefully not get killed in the process.”

“I can get behind that plan,” Raven agrees. “Any plan that involves not getting killed gets my seal of approval.”

She and Clarke exchange a look and a smile as Bellamy sighs.

“Right, let’s just not get killed,” he says drily. “Because that’s worked _so_ well for us up until now.”

“There there.” Raven reaches out a hand to pat him on the arm absentmindedly as she turns back to the computer. “We don’t have to go in completely blind, we can start with sending down a drone.”

Clarke frowns. “A drone?”

“Yeah,” Raven replies, clicking away on the keyboard again. “Those little flying things on Becca’s island, remember?”

“You mean the ones that tried to kill us?” Clarke questions. “Because I’m not a fan of technology that tries to kill me.”

Raven has her back turned, so Clarke can’t actually see it, but she’s pretty sure the other woman rolls her eyes.

“That wasn’t the drones faults, they just do what they’re programmed to do and can be used any way you want, really,” she says. “And the Eligius drones are pretty much perfect to start with, I won’t even have to do much to be able to use them the way I want.”

“Which is how?” Bellamy asks. “And why do they even have drones to start with?”

Raven swivels the chair around to face them again.

“Well, they were used to evaluate the spots the ship was sent to mine,” she explains. “They would send them down to the planet or asteroid belt or wherever they were working, and the drones would burrow into the surface and collect samples. When they got back to the ship, this bad boy…” she pats something next to the computer that Clarke thinks looks like an old fashioned printer, “analyzed the samples and spit out a report on the composition of the material in question. Like, if they were looking for Hythylodium and the drones didn’t find any in that particular asteroid, they could just move on to another one and try again, no need to get down there and actually mine when there was nothing for them to find.”

Everyone’s quiet for a moment before Bellamy clears his throat.

“That’s actually pretty smart,” he admits grudgingly, as if it physically hurts him to acknowledge that Eligius might have had some good ideas.

“How would you use them to check out this planet?” Jordan asks enthusiastically, and Clarke is once again reminded of Monty, her heart giving a painful squeeze.

“Well, it should be possible to add an oxygen probe on one, to start with,” Raven says. “That way it’ll be able to get a read on the air down there – oxygen levels, humidity, potential radiation or harmful substances, stuff like that. Basically tell us if we can breathe the air or not. Then we’ll get readings from a couple of different spots on the surface, see where the ground is best suited for establishing a settlement. You know, not too rocky, good soil for growing crops. I might be able to tell if there’s water close by from those readings, though I’m not sure about that one.”

It’s ideal, really, exactly what they need.

“Can we use that machine to analyze plants and fruits and berries, things like that?” Clarke asks. “To figure out if they’re edible, I mean.”

Raven shrugs. “I don’t see why not. It can handle all types of solid or liquid substances and I can get it to tell you what a sample consists of, but someone else would have to figure out if those components are OK for us to eat. Not my area of expertise.”

“I’m sure we can figure that out,” Bellamy says, turning to Clarke. “Your mom should be able to tell if something’s actually poisonous, right?”

She nods thoughtfully, pleased that their plan seems to be coming together nicely. Drones aren’t as good as actual eyes down on the planet, of course, but it’s a great start. If they can figure out where there’s water and have a way of analyzing potential food, they’ll have a good jumping off point for actually surviving on the planet.

“I don’t suppose these drones come equipped with cameras?” she asks hopefully, thinking that’s probably too much to ask for.

Raven grimaces. “That would have been great, but nope. And I don’t think I can mount one without it being destroyed along the way. They’re not exactly built for space travel. So no video feed, sorry.”

“Well, if someone shoots it down, we’ll know more than we do now,” Bellamy says, and Clarke isn’t completely sure if he’s being ironic or actually means it. Raven, however, decides to take it at face value.

“That’s the spirit, Blake!” She turns back to the computer. “Now, are all of Monty’s notes on Eligius Three and this new planet in here?” she asks, glancing at Jordan.

“Yeah, they’re right…” Jordan hits a few buttons, “… here.”

Raven nods. “OK, I need to go through this, run a check on all the ship’s systems, just to make sure we won’t blow up or suffocate in our sleep or something, and maybe see if there’s anything else I can tweak so we can use it to explore this new planet. And I’m going to need some peace and quiet to do it, so scram, people. I’ll come get you when I’m done.”

Clarke gives Bellamy a questioning look, but he just shrugs. That’s Raven, she supposes. And it’s not like she can contribute anything herself. Jordan seems like he wants to argue for a moment, but then thinks better of it and heads towards the door, Bellamy and Clarke trailing behind him.

Before they reach it, though, Raven speaks again. “Wait, Clarke, hang on a moment.”

Clarke stops dead in her tracks, eyes widening. She’s been waiting for this since they woke Raven, if she’s honest, but she was kind of starting to hope it might have gotten lost in all the excitement and grief and confusion of the situation… apparently not.

She gives Bellamy a pleading look, one hand stretching towards him – to do what, she’s not sure – but he deftly steps out of her reach, mouthing _go talk to her_ before backing out of the room to join Jordan in the hallway and hitting the button that makes the door close after them. Traitor.

Clarke’s frozen in place for a moment longer before she pulls herself together and turns to face her (former?) friend. Might as well get it over with, it’s not like the problem’s going to go away if she just ignores it.

“Listen, Raven, I’m sorry about everything I…” She trails off as Raven pushes herself up from the chair and crosses the space between them.

“No,” the brunette says in a determined voice, and Clarke’s stomach plummets. She should have known that Bellamy would be the exception, that it wouldn’t be as easy with the others, and especially not Raven.

“OK, I get it,” she says dejectedly, turning away once more, but Raven catches her by the arm.

“No, I mean I don’t want you to apologize for doing what you needed to do,” she elaborates. “It sucks that we ended up on opposite sides and, don’t get me wrong, I was so pissed at you… and I never want to look into the barrel of a gun in your hand again, but I get it, OK? Trust me, I _get_ it.”

Clarke tries to see any hint of insincerity in Raven’s eyes, but the only thing she finds is understanding and, maybe – if she lets herself hope for just a second – affection.

“Madi was all you had for so long,” Raven continues, her voice softening. “You raised her like your own for six years, _of course_ you had to do everything you could to keep her safe.”

It’s like her words finally uncoil the tension in Clarke’s stomach and she feels tears rise in her eyes.

“I hated it,” she says, voice choked with emotions. “I hated having to choose between her and you guys, but I just…”

“We don’t have to do this,” Raven interrupts her gently. “As far as I’m concerned, me and you are _good_ , OK? No need for apologies or explanations or anything like that.”

Clarke nods. “Bellamy said something about… this being a new start, a blank slate,” she says. “Maybe he’s right, maybe it can be that for all of us.”

Raven snorts. “That boy always did have a way with words.”

Clarke lets out a laugh.

“Of course, he also said that I had a get out of jail free card on account of being left behind in Praimfaya, so I don’t know if he deserves that much credit.”

Raven’s mouth falls open. “Oh my God, he actually _said_ that?”

“Yup.”

Raven just shakes her head in disbelief. “I’m going to smack him over the head next time I see him,” she says, before sighing. “Right, I do need to get started on this, but one last thing.” She opens her arms, gesturing with her fingers as if she’s challenging Clarke to a fight. “Come here.”

Clarke takes a hesitant step forward, not completely sure what to expect, but then Raven’s arms wrap around her in a tight embrace and she relaxes, returning the hug just as fiercely.

“I am so glad you’re alive,” Raven mumbles. “I missed you so, so much.”

Clarke has to swallow down a lump in her throat before she can reply. “I missed you too. Every day.”

“I’m sorry we left you behind.”

“You had to.”

Raven holds on for another moment before pulling away and surreptitiously wiping away a few tears.

“ _That’s_ how our reunion should have gone,” she says, before shooing at Clarke. “OK, get out of here. Go talk to Bellamy, God knows you two need to work out your shit before we wake up E… everyone else.”

Clarke’s pretty sure she was about to say _before we wake up Echo_ , but she doesn’t comment on the almost-slip.

“There’s nothing to work out,” she says, keeping her voice intentionally light, and is rewarded with one of Raven Reyes’ signature _are you kidding me_ looks, raised eyebrow and all.

“Oh please. Anyone with eyes can see that this…” she makes a vague hand gesture “… _thing_ you two never figured out before Praimfaya is still there. I get that you never had a chance to think about it, let alone _do_ something about it, back then, but right now, you do. Monty and Harper died to give us a second or third or _whatever_ chance to fix everything we’ve messed up. So don’t you dare waste it.”

Clarke sighs, trying to tamp down on the surge of hope Raven’s words cause within her.

“Look, it doesn’t matter,” she says. “OK, maybe there was something there before Praimfaya, but that was six years ago… or a hundred and thirty one, if you want to be technical about it.”

Raven doesn’t say anything, just keeps watching her silently.

“You all thought I was dead for six years,” Clarke continues. “Even if he… had feelings for me back then, which I don’t know that he did, he’s clearly moved on. And you, of all people, should know I will _never_ put myself in a situation like that again.”

At the reminder of Finn, Raven’s eyes soften and for a moment, Clarke thinks that she might let it go. But, of course, she should have known better.

“I didn’t hear anything about _you_ moving on in that little speech,” Raven notes.

“Kind of hard to do when you’re all alone on a deserted planet with a six-year-old,” Clarke replies drily.

“True,” Raven agrees. “Still, I think you should at least tell him how you feel. Like you said, new chance, clean slate and all that. What better way to go into that than getting everything off your chest?”

In a way, it’s tempting to take Raven’s advice. Her feelings for Bellamy had been there for a long time before she was actually able to admit them to herself, Lexa’s words – _love is weakness_ – affecting her long after they’d been spoken. By the time she had no longer been able to deny them, they’d been in the middle of trying to figure out how to survive the end of the world, and there hadn’t been time. Then, during the six years after Praimfaya, those feelings had been pushed to the side – there was nothing she could do about them with him thousands of miles above her, after all – even if they had always been just out of reach, nagging at her from time to time. Since they were reunited, though, it’s been like an itch she can’t quite scratch, chafing at her constantly. On the other hand, she’s not exactly looking forward to the rejection she knows will come, or how it might affect their relationship, which they’ve (hopefully) finally gotten back on the right track. She knows all too well how awful it is to not have him in her life, and she can only imagine it would be even worse if he chose to pull away from her. It’s not like she’ll be able to avoid him in a community of 400 people, after all.

“I was thinking more along the lines of ignoring it until it goes away,” she admits.

Right, she can tell herself that.

“Look…” Raven starts. “I love Echo, she’s family, obviously, but I just never… I don’t get the two of them together.”

Clarke winces – she really doesn’t want to listen to this.

“Raven, please, I can’t…”

“No, I get it,” Raven cuts her off. “I promise I won’t go into any details, not that I have them, and I will never bring this up again, OK? I just want you to have the whole picture so you can make an informed decision.”

Clarke’s pretty sure she has all the information she needs, but she reluctantly nods at Raven to continue.

“I know things between them started during a… difficult time.” She seems to be choosing her words very carefully, and Clarke is grateful. It’s already hard enough to listen to this, she doesn’t want to hear anything she can’t un-hear. “And I know that they do care about each other, of course they do, but I always figured it was just physical. A way to release some tension.”

Clarke’s not sure if that makes her feel better or worse.

“They’ve never really acted like a couple, at least not in front of the rest of us, and sure, that could just be the way they are but… I think what it comes down to in the end is that I’ve never seen him look at her the way he used to look at you back before Praimfaya. And, Clarke, he was a complete mess up there for a really long time. I don’t think he ever really got over leaving you behind, even if he tried to move on with his life. And no, before you even suggest it, it was not just the guilt.”

Clarke just nods, not sure how to respond to that. She wants to say that yes, they _do_ act like a couple – their reunion in the wasteland is forever branded into her mind – but she supposes it was kind of an extreme situation…

“So think about it, yeah?” Raven finishes off, squeezing Clarke’s shoulder.

“I will,” Clarke promises, though she knows she will never do anything to get between Bellamy and Echo. If Raven is right and he does still have feelings for Clarke, he’ll have to take that step. “But you have to promise not to intervene, OK?”

Raven does not look happy with that.

“OK, I will stay out of it unless I think it’s making everyone involved miserable, and in that case I reserve the right to step in as a friend to both of you,” she compromises. “I know how stubborn the two of you can be.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but knows it’s the best she’s going to get.

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, chapter three done. I've deliberately kept the references to technology fairly vague - I figure we're some time into the future, there's bound to be more advanced tech than we have access to right now, and I don't think I've made up anything that's too out there. Let me know what you think, you're reviews make my day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story passed 100 kudos a few days back and today the number is 111 – thanks so much guys! And a special big thanks to those who take the time to leave a review, they really make my day.
> 
> Some more Bellarke interaction in this chapter but also a bit more insight into Bellamy's thoughts and feelings - and a flashback! Hope you like it...
> 
> As always, I own nothing of this.
> 
> Enjoy :)

**-4-**

 

Bellamy watches as Clarke disappears behind the door to the bridge and for a moment he regrets leaving the room. Maybe he should have stayed, made sure they really do make up… but Jordan is waiting a few steps behind him, and he is fairly sure Raven won’t be too hard on Clarke, so he reluctantly turns and joins the other man.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Jordan says, obviously picking up on his reluctance to leave. “Why don’t we head over to the algae farm in the meantime, get started on that?”

It’s a good suggestion, so Bellamy agrees and follows him down the ship’s corridors to the large room that houses the algae farm.

Jordan starts describing everything, explaining what they’re going to do, and Bellamy only half-listens – he did all this with Monty and doesn’t really need instructions, but the kid seems excited, so he lets him ramble on.

The work is familiar and simple, something he can do without really needing to focus on it, so he lets his mind wander.

Working with Monty on the algae farm on the Ring is one of few clear memories he has of the first two or three months up there.

A couple of days after they got to the Ring, he had a… Raven called it a complete breakdown, Bellamy called it a minor panic attack – the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

-100-

_They’d gotten all the vital systems up and running, they weren’t going to die from a glitch in the oxygen scrubber or dehydrate because the water filtration system flunked, so Raven gave everyone, except Monty who was setting up the algae farm, the task of scouring the place for scrap metal, tech and other things that might be useful for their day-to-day life or eventual return to the Ground._

_Somehow, Bellamy found himself in the Sky box, rows of abandoned cells with doors hanging open in front of him. He froze completely, just stood there staring for a long moment as he wondered which cell had been Octavia’s, if she used to watch TV on the couch against the far wall or play ping pong with some of the other kids at the table to the right… and then his mind switched to_ her _, Clarke, and he almost turned on his heel, didn’t want to see her cell, the space where she’d spent the better part of her 17 th year. He could send someone else to check the Sky box, Emori or Echo, they didn’t have any connection to the place._

_He didn’t have to do it himself._

_But for some reason, his legs carried him down the corridor, stopping briefly in front of each set of doors before moving on again, convinced he would just_ know _when he got to her cell._

_And, God, he did._

_He turned a corner and passed another security check point, by the look of the reinforced steel door with fingerprint scanners, ajar just like all the others, when a single open door at the end of the hallway caught his eyes. He slowly made his way there._

_It wasn’t like any of the other cells he’d passed along the way, white, empty walls without a soul, nothing left behind that showed who had once inhabited the space. Here, Clarke was in the floor, the walls, even the parts of the ceiling she had been able to reach… drawings in black and grey, images of things on the Ground she couldn’t possibly have seen when she had been locked in here, others of the Ark, and here and there a few portraits…_

_Bellamy slumped down on the abandoned cot in the cell, what little he had managed to scrounge up clattering to the floor, and tried to take in everything around him. Next thing he knew, someone was calling his name, hands shaking him and then a warm body pressed against his back and arms and legs wrapped around him – Raven. He absentmindedly noted that he must have had some sort of black out._

_“You’re OK, you’re OK,” Raven mumbled into his neck, arms tight around his chest, and he started breathing again – or at least that’s what it felt like. He became aware of his racing heart a moment later and then the wetness in his eyes, on his cheeks, his shirt damp with tears and clinging to his chest._ You’re having a panic attack _, his mind supplied. Which, of course, did nothing to help him get it under control._

_But Raven stayed like that, a human version of a clingy koala bear on his back, until Bellamy’s breathing started matching her long, deliberate inhalations and exhalations. When he finally felt his heart rate start to slow he gently pried Raven’s limbs from around him and cleared his throat as he stood up, keeping his eyes on the floor._

_“Sorry about that,” he apologized, voice rough, glancing up at Raven but not quite far enough to meet her eyes._

_“No reason to be sorry,” she assured him. “Honestly, I’ve been sort of waiting for something like this.”_

_He busied himself with picking up all the scrap metal from the floor._

_“You have?” he asked in a deliberately light voice._

_Raven sighed and crouched down next to him, taking the pieces of metal and putting them in a bag she’d brought._

_“Bellamy, look at me,” she said in a gentle voice that wasn’t like Raven Reyes at all._

_He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then grudgingly met her gaze, dreading the compassion he knew he’d find there._

_“Monty told me about… back when she was taken by Roan, remember?”_

_Of course he remembered. It would be engrained in his mind until the day he died, how she had looked tied up and gagged in that basement. He managed a short nod and Raven shrugged._

_“I just figured… this must be so much worse, so I was sort of wondering when it would catch up with you.”_

_Maybe that’s what it was. He had kept busy the last few days, avoiding the windows with a view of the burning Earth and, until now, every reminder of her. The others hadn’t mentioned her either, perhaps realizing he didn’t want to, couldn’t, talk about her. Not yet. Everything was still too fresh, too raw._

_He stood abruptly and brushed past Raven._

_“I don’t want to talk about it.”_

_He heard her call after him, but didn’t stop or turn around._

_After that day, he shut himself off. He did what he needed to do, slept, ate, carried out the tasks assigned to him – which were more often than not working the algae farm with Monty – but he was numb for a long time, because the alternative was worse._

-100-

That period of his life is still a bit of a blur to Bellamy, even now, six years later. He eventually managed to break the cycle, move beyond the mind-numbing grief that had overpowered him in that cell, and towards the end of their time on the Ring, he had even managed to smile at some of his happier memories of Clarke, even if he still had the occasional nightmare where she accused him of abandoning her, killing her. _Your fault, your fault, your fault._

And then he found out that she was alive, and it was like everything shifted, just a tiny bit. He’s still not sure exactly _how_ , but he knows everything is different, or could be, if he let it.

“There you are.”

Bellamy looks up at Clarke’s voice, and an irrational – considering he saw her only a few minutes ago – need to touch her to make sure she’s real, probably caused by his little trip down memory lane, makes him take the few steps to where she’s standing just inside the door and pull her into a tight hug.

Clarke willingly returns it though.

“I was just gone for, like, five minutes,” she says with an amused chuckle.

Bellamy reluctantly pulls away, aware that they’re not alone. But Jordan is still working the soil, seemingly focused on his task.

“Sorry,” Bellamy apologizes. “It’s just, being in here, it sort of brought back memories of our first few months on the Ring and I…”

Clarke reaches out to squeeze his hand before he can say more.

“You don’t have to explain,” she assures him. “Trust me, I have my fair share of crappy memories from those six years.”

This reminds him of Madi’s words yet again, and he wants to ask her about it, but now is not the time. Not with an audience.

“Besides, you never have to apologize for hugging me,” she continues with a smile before turning to Jordan and effectively putting an end to the conversation for now. “So, what do you need me to help with?”

Jordan straightens up from where he was bent over the soil a few feet away and purses his lips.

“Honestly, I think we’ve done all we can,” he says, looking to Bellamy for confirmation.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Bellamy agrees. “Now it’s up to the algae, really, just keep up watering the plants and hope they take.”

Jordan nods. “They should, Dad spent a lot of time perfecting the strain back when I was a kid, so it’s basically supercharged by now,” he explains, and Bellamy can just see it, Monty bent over samples of his algae, tampering with the DNA or whatever it is you can alter in plants. The image makes him smile, despite the flash of grief it also brings.

“OK, so… anything else we can take care of while Raven’s doing her thing?” Clarke continues.

Jordan thinks for a moment. “I guess we could get the living quarters set up for the four of us, somewhere to sleep,” he suggests. “They’ve obviously been uninhabited for a while now, so might need some freshening up.”

Bellamy has a vague memory of the living area of the large Eligius ship from when they first got here from the Ring – they had explored the entire ship and might have made use of that part of it if they hadn’t had to hurry down to Earth in the end. Of course, Monty and Harper must have made a home there, the only one Jordan has ever known.

Ever since he woke up, the loss of two of his closest friends have been hanging over his head, and he wonders if this will be the moment when it really hits him – when he sees the home they created for themselves and their son, where they raised him and grew old together.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Clarke says, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I’ve never been to the living areas of the ship, so you’ll have to show the way.”

Bellamy realizes that she’s giving Jordan control of the situation – if he wants to take them to his and his parents’ home, he can, but if he doesn’t he can simply pick another part of the living quarters. God knows there are plenty apartments to choose from.

Jordan lights up at Clarke’s request and immediately wipes the dirt off his hands.

“Of course,” he says, starting in the direction of the door to the corridor. “Follow me!”

Their trek through the ship reminds Bellamy of how big it really is. It’s nothing in comparison to the size of the Ark, of course, which had over 2,000 inhabitants at one point, as opposed to the 500 that lived on this ship at any one time, but it’s still probably at least ten times as big as the Ring.

“So the ship was originally set up for eighty prisoners working at a time,” Jordan says over his shoulder when they’ve been walking for a few minutes. “There would be twenty guards awake as well, to keep them in line, I assume. The rest would be in cryo, and then they’d cycle through people working and sleeping.”

Bellamy hadn’t known that, but he supposes it makes sense – efficient use of “resources” and all that, and who cared if a bunch of criminals were worked to death over a few decades anyway? He knows enough about the US before the nuclear apocalypse to know that they were one of the lowest rungs on the ladder.

“So, there are two living areas, sort of,” Jordan continues. “The one for the prisoners is basically a jail, small individual cells.”

“Yeah, they have those on the transport ship too,” Clarke notes darkly, reminding Bellamy of where he’d first seen her after landing on Earth again. The memory is bittersweet – just seeing her again had been… more than he had thought he’d ever get, even after Madi’s revelation that she was still alive, but then she’d had the shock collar around her neck and they’d once again been thrust into a life and death situation.

Jordan gives Clarke an understanding look over his shoulder before he continues.

“Right, you would know those pretty well,” he says in a sympathetic voice. “We’re on our way to the living quarters for the guards now, though. For some reason, there’s living space for every guard, all one hundred, and not just the twenty who were awake at the same time. I guess Eligius had to use something to get people to agree to this kind of work... So there are a hundred state rooms, which is really just a fancy word for bedrooms. They’re arranged in twenty separate apartments, each with five en-suite bedrooms and a communal living space with a kitchen and a lounge area.”

They turn a corner and find themselves in what was probably a rec room at one point – there’s a couple of ping pong tables, a pool table, several dart boards, and a bookcase filled with board games. Along one wall is a bar with some stools, though the shelves against the wall behind it are empty. The rest of the large area is occupied by comfy but worn looking couches arranged in groups.

“Wow, the Eligius guards were really living the high life,” Clarke notes, crossing the room to check out the games. “Monopoly, Clue, Game of Life…”

“However will we get anything done with all this to distract us?” Bellamy jokes, earning a smile from Clarke.

“Come on, the apartments are through here,” Jordan nods at the corridor leading off the rec room and they follow him down it.

A moment later, they emerge into a large, open space with four doors leading off it and an elevator off to the side which connects to the other floors with apartments, if Bellamy remembers correctly. He turns to Jordan.

“So, which one should we use?” he asks, glancing at the doors. They’re all closed and look identical, so he has no idea which one might have been the Green-McIntyre’s, if theirs is even on this floor. But it seems logical – especially once Jordan came around, they wouldn’t have wanted to bother with the elevator.

Jordan doesn’t hesitate before crossing to the nearest door and opening it.

“This one was ours, I think it’s easiest if we just use it, I’m not sure if anything’s been done in the others since Eligius time, to be honest. Plus, Dad set up the rations in our kitchen, so…”

He crosses the threshold, leaving the door open behind him, but Bellamy still hesitates. It feels too personal, somehow, like they’re trespassing now that Monty and Harper aren’t here to invite them into their home.

He feels fingers interlace with his, a hand squeezing, and turns his head to find Clarke next to him, a knowing half-smile laced with sadness on her face.

“It’s OK,” she says. “I think they would have wanted this.”

And she’s right, of course.

She takes the lead, tugging him along into the apartment where Jordan’s standing by the sink in a small, basic kitchen, the tap running and the water slowly changing from a brownish color to clear. He looks up when they stop just inside the door.

“Make yourselves at home,” he says, gesturing at the room in general. “I’ve only checked the rations and the water out here just now, we might want to run the taps in the bathrooms as well, get the water clear in there. The computer system is obviously up and running, so hopefully that means the entertainment system works as well.”

Clarke is looking around with wide eyes, taking in all the creature comforts she obviously hasn’t experienced since the Ark, and Bellamy tries to see it through her eyes.

Apart from the basic kitchen – a sink, two-burner stove, microwave, tiny fridge, and some storage cupboards – along the far wall, there’s a round dining table with five chairs in that end of the open space as well, a small book case to the right of the front door, which is actually full of books that Bellamy immediately itches to check out, and a couch and a couple of armchairs around a coffee table in front of a big screen TV to their left. Two doors on either side of the TV obviously lead to two of the bedrooms, the other three on the right side of the room. There’s some artwork on the walls, generic prints that are probably in all the apartments, but they add some color to the room.

From what he remembers, all the apartments look the same, but he can see that this one was Monty and Harper’s from the little details around the room – drawings pinned to the wall by the dining table, no doubt a younger Jordan’s work, a blanket on one of the armchairs, a couple of decorative pillows on the couch and something that looks like little flowers made out of everything from metal and plastic to cloth and paper scattered on many of the flat surfaces. The absence of dust tells him that Jordan must have had a quick clean when he checked the apartment earlier.

“I thought I’d take Mom and Dad’s room,” Jordan says after a moment, glancing at one of the doors to the left. “My room was next to theirs, I can clear it out if we need it. For now, the other three should be empty apart from the furniture. Take your pick.”

They divide the rooms between them, wordlessly leaving Jordan’s old room empty for now – Clarke picks the room in the middle and Bellamy the one closest to the front door, leaving the last one for Raven if she ever emerges from the bridge.

Jordan disappears into his parents’ old bedroom while Clarke and Bellamy get their own and Raven’s rooms set up. They raid the other apartments on the floor, finding extra bedding and pillows, and even some spare clothes that they split between them. As Bellamy tosses a final pillow onto his bed, he hears a soft knock and turns to find Clarke in the doorway, knuckles against the wood.

“I’m all set, I think,” she says, looking around the room. “I figured Jordan might need a moment to himself, and Raven’s obviously still deep in her tech, so… want to see if that TV actually works?”

Her voice turns excited at the end, and Bellamy understands – it’s been seven years since she was on the Ark, after all, while he spent hours every day on the Ring watching old TV shows, documentaries and movies. They had way too much downtime up there after the first few weeks…

“Sure,” he agrees easily, following her out to the couch where she flops down in one corner, stretching her legs out along the cushions, while he takes the other corner and puts his feet up on the table in front of them.

She picks up the remote from the table and turns the TV on. After a moment, they’re greeted by a welcome screen similar to the one on the Ark and asked to pick what they want to watch – TV shows, movies, documentaries, sports, live events.

“Anything in particular you’re in the mood for?” she asks, raising her eyebrows at him.

Bellamy shrugs. “Honestly, I made my way through most of the stuff in the archive on the Ring,” he says. “You pick something.”

To his surprise, she chooses the sports category.

“Really? I never would have taken you for a jock, Princess,” he jokes.

Clarke sighs, tapping a few more buttons and opening the sub-category soccer.

“It was a thing me and my dad did,” she says quietly, eyes intent on the screen, but he can see her eyebrows furrow a little at the memory. “I didn’t really get it at first, you know – the games were played a century ago, you already know who won, where’s the excitement? But he loved it, and eventually I started to as well, and it became this thing we did with Wells and Thelonius. I kind of miss it.”

Bellamy knows that she doesn’t just mean the soccer, and reaches a hand out to squeeze her calf. She looks over at him, eyes glossy but free of tears, and offers a weak smile.

“I have to admit,” he starts, “I was never really into sports. Octavia had a cheerleading phase when she was seven, I think, and she made me watch a bunch of American football and after that I sort of ruled out all sports by default. But if you don’t mind explaining the rules, it should be fun.”

Her smile brightens considerably, and she starts scrolling through the games on the screen.

“OK, let’s see… this one should be a good beginner’s game.” She picks one of the options and the screen changes to an aerial view of a large arena, the people dotting the field about the size of ants. “This is what they used to call El Clásico – games between two Spanish teams, Madrid and Barcelona, they were among the best in the world around the turn of the millennium. It’s also the final of the Copa del Rey, which was the Spanish soccer league, in 2014.”

Bellamy can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.

“So it’s the final game of a tournament?” he asks. “Shouldn’t we start at the beginning, then?”

She rolls her eyes. “That’s the beauty of old games – you don’t have to watch them in a specific order since you know how they end.”

“But I don’t,” he reminds her, voice teasing, which she of course catches, if her raised eyebrow is any indication.

“Just watch the damn game.”

He laughs and turns his attention to the TV.

“Whatever you say.” They watch for a moment in silence. “Wait, so they actually use their feet? Then why wasn’t this called football and American football called… handball or something?”

“It actually was called football in British English, it was just the Americans that insisted on calling it soccer,” Clarke explains. “And handball is a completely different sport. American football is actually closer to what the Brits called rugby, but that’s…”

“Maybe we should just focus on this sport for now,” Bellamy interrupts her. “I’ve got a basic understanding of American football, but I’ve never even heard of handball and I don’t know if all the new information will fit in my brain right now.”

“Fine,” Clarke laughs. “So the team in white, that’s Real Madrid, they had Ramos and Pepe, who were great players, but then Barcelona, they had Neymar and Messi, who were both considered among the top players at the time, so…” She trails off as she catches the blank expression on his face, so he doesn’t have to interrupt her again.

“You realize those names mean nothing to me, right?” he says slowly. “Just… start with the basics. The white guys, they score behind the guy in green?”

“No, that’s their own goalkeeper, they score at the opposite side of the field. Honestly…” And just like that, she’s off going through the rules, explaining offside and penalties, excitedly pointing out when something interesting happens on the field. Bellamy just leans back against the couch, watching her more than the game, how she talks with her hands, and thinks that he can definitely get into soccer if he gets to watch it with Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get Bellamy’s reaction to seeing Clarke's cell in this story, I don't even know if it's on the Ring or some other part of the Ark that crashed to the ground, but creative freedom, I guess ;) I think he needed to deal with that after Praimfaya.
> 
> I'm in no way a soccer (football to my fellow Europeans) expert, I'm honestly not even sure where that scene came from, but I accepted long ago that this story has taken on a life of its own and I'm just along for the ride!
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated, so please take a moment to let me know if you enjoyed this one :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm back with chapter 5. Thanks for the comments and kudos on the last chapter, they really warm my heart!
> 
> As always, I don't own anything.

**-5-**

 

Clarke enjoys explaining all the rules of soccer to Bellamy, even when he’s being deliberately obtuse just to get a rise out of her. Which he’s being. A lot.

She’s seen the game many times before, though, and towards the end of the first half, she finds her eyelids drooping. She sinks down further on the couch, to be able to lean her head against the armrest, and lets her eyes slip closed.

After a moment, she feels Bellamy lift her feet into his lap, so she doesn’t have to keep her knees bent, and then his hand, big and warm, against her calf.

“Put something else on, if you want,” she mumbles sleepily.

“What, and miss the end of the game? No way,” he replies in a teasing voice, and Clarke pokes him in the stomach with her toes in retaliation, but he just chuckles.

She doesn’t fall asleep all the way, just drifts in and out of a light slumber, so she’s vaguely aware of a door opening and closing and then Jordan’s voice.

“Soccer, huh?”

She feels Bellamy move slightly in response, probably shrugging.

“Apparently she used to watch it with her dad back on the Ark,” he says in a hushed voice. It’s quiet for a moment before he continues. “Sorry… You OK, kid?”

Clarke hears Jordan sigh and wonders if she should step into the conversation, make sure everything’s OK, but the couch is soft and comfortable underneath her and Bellamy’s thumb is tracing slow circles against her calf that send warm shots of electricity up her leg, even through the material of her pants.

“They told me they would probably be gone by the time I woke up.” Jordan’s voice again. “We said our goodbyes before they put me in cryo, but I guess it’s different when it’s actually real.”

Clarke’s heart aches for him, this poor boy who spent his entire life with just his parents only to wake up and find them gone… Even if he’s grown up on stories about the rest of them, it must be overwhelming and frightening to only have them now.

“I obviously can’t put myself in your position, but I think I know what you mean,” Bellamy says. “But just know that we’re here if you need to talk or anything. They were our friends too, we’re trying to come to terms with them being gone as well.”

Clarke relaxes a little again – they don’t need her right now, Bellamy’s got this.

“I know.” Jordan doesn’t sound as sad anymore, to her relief. “But ‘kid’, really? You do realize I’m only a couple of years younger than you?”

“But technically, you were born, what, 35 years after me? So yeah, I’m going to stick with ‘kid’.”

“But only if we count _all_ the time, including the years we’ve spent in cryo.” Clarke can hear Monty’s old enthusiasm in Jordan’s voice now. “When you go into cryo, you’re essentially frozen in time, so you don’t age, which means you stay the age you were when you went to sleep and pick up there when you wake up again. So while I might have been born… how old were you when you went into cryo again?”

It’s quiet for a moment while Bellamy apparently has to think to remember.

“29, maybe 30? Time was a bit of a loose concept when we were on the Ground, I might have missed a birthday,” he finally says.

“OK, and I was born when you all had been in cryo for two years, so in that respect you’d be about 32 years older than me, but then I was awake until I was 26 before I went into cryo, meaning I’m still 26 and you’re 30, at most. So four years.”

Jordan sounds like that should be the end of it, he’s made the winning argument, but Clarke knows Bellamy, and sure enough, he doesn’t give in that easily.

“OK, fine, you’re 26, but I still think actual age relations should be based on when you were born. I mean, your way you’d be older than Clarke, and that’s just not OK.”

Right, now they’re talking about her, time to join the party. She makes a show of stretching and yawning – not that she has to fake that part, it really is surprisingly tiring to sleep for over a century – so they don’t think she’s been deliberately eavesdropping.

“Who’s older than me?” she asks.

“Jordan, if you want to use his weird reasoning,” Bellamy replies.

Clarke puts on a frown and looks between the two men.

“That’s not right,” she finally says. “You were born long after me.”

“Thank you,” Bellamy says, giving Jordan a pointed look. “That’s what I said.”

“But, come on,” Jordan insists, once again getting into his scientific mode. “Fine, you can think you’re my seniors all you want, but the fact remains that I am 26 years old. You can’t get away from that. How old were you when you went into cryo, Clarke?”

She has a slightly better grip on that than Bellamy obviously does, but only because she was counting down to her birthday and a possible floating on the Ark.

“24,” she says. “I’m pretty sure, at least. I know my 18th birthday was, like, a month after we were sent to Earth, so considering the time down there, before and after Praimfaya, I should be 24 by now.”

“Or a hundred and forty-nine,” Bellamy intervenes in a teasing voice.

“That’s just wrong,” Clarke says, wrinkling her nose. “I think I prefer being 24, even if that does mean you’re older than me, Jordan.”

“Thank you!” Jordan exclaims, dramatically flopping back against the armchair, and Clarke’s reminded, irrationally, of Jasper.

“However,” she continues, swallowing the flash of grief, for what time in the last few hours she doesn’t know, “you are our friends’ child, which means you will always be a kid to me. Just like Madi will, no matter how old she is. You might as well get used to that.”

Jordan seems like he’s about to argue for a moment, but then lets out a sigh.

“OK, fine, if you want to rope me into the kid camp with Madi, I’ll give you that one.”

“There you are.”

They all look up to find Raven in the doorway, looking annoyed and slightly out of breath.

“This ship is fricking _huge_ , do you know how long I’ve been looking for you guys?” she grumbles as she crosses the room to claim the second armchair.

Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Geez, so sorry we didn’t tell you where we were going when you threw us out of the bridge,” he says drily, and Clarke nudges his side with her toes before pulling her feet out of his lap and reclaiming a sitting position on the couch.

“Did you need us for something?” she asks Raven, who gives her a grateful smile.

“Thank you, Clarke,” she says in an overly polite voice, which is canceled out just a little when she sticks her tongue out at Bellamy. “And yes, sort of. I’ve finished going through Monty’s notes and everything I can think of in the Eligius system.”

“And?” Bellamy asks expectantly.

“Well, it's basically good news. The ship’s in top shape, all systems running like they should, so at least we won’t have to worry about that. And we’re in the right place, I know that much,” Raven continues. “The coordinates check out, but apart from that… all Eligius really had about this planet was basic information, the ship they sent here was going to evaluate the planet and determine if it was a viable alternative to Earth, but, of course, they disappeared without a trace.”

“Dad always thought there were two likely scenarios – either they got here fine but didn’t have time to report back to Earth before the nuclear apocalypse, or something went wrong before they got here,” Jordan supplies. “He figured if they reached the planet, they probably would have checked in before landing to explore it. Or, if not, they would have only sent down a small group initially, which wouldn’t explain why the whole crew disappeared at once.”

They all contemplate that for a moment, before Bellamy speaks.

“Good thinking, but there’s one other scenario, as far as I’m concerned. Since the crew was made up of both prisoners and guards, like Eligius Four, it’s not impossible that what happened on this ship happened on that one too – a coup where the prisoners took control of the ship at some point, killed the guards and just decided they wanted this new planet to themselves. Screw the rest of humanity.”

“You mean kind of like you when we first landed on Earth?” Raven teases, getting an eye-roll in return.

“Shut up, Reyes.”

Raven chuckles a little before going back to serious mode. “Either way, I think our initial plan is still solid,” she says. “I’ve checked one of the drones, mounted an oxygen probe on it so it’s good to go when we want to get started.”

Clarke covers her mouth with her hand to hide another yawn, and Bellamy frowns.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m exhausted,” he says.

Clarke gives him a questioning look, eyebrows raised, but he just shrugs.

“I hear you, for some reason a century in cryo isn’t as restful as you’d think,” Raven agrees. “And it’s not like we have a natural circadian rhythm to follow, might as well set one of our own.”

OK, so maybe they’re all tired.

“I vote for food, maybe a shower and then bed,” Raven continues. “Or, well, algae, but hopefully only for a couple of weeks this time.”

“We set up a bedroom for you,” Clarke tells her. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

She leads Raven to the bedroom closest to the kitchen area of the apartment, while Bellamy and Jordan stay on the couch.

“Here we are,” Clarke says, taking a few steps into the bedroom so Raven can enter as well. “We ran the water for a while, so it’s fine, and there’s even spare toothbrushes and toothpaste in the bathroom cupboard.”

There’s a large and soft bed – Clarke tried the one in her own room earlier and it was like a cloud – with bedside tables on either side, a closet in one corner, and a dresser along one wall. The door to the en-suite bathroom is on the wall to their left, furthest into the room, and there’s even a poster of some landscape above the bed – maybe to give the illusion of a window, Clarke thinks.

“Nice,” Raven says appreciatively, throwing herself down on the bed. “This will do after spending the last few nights sleeping in your old church. Or, the last 125 years in a cryo pod, I guess, but you get what I mean.”

Clarke leans against the wall, nodding. “Yeah, I get it. We were sleeping in the old gas station those few days in the valley, and before that it was a cell in the bunker, so definite upgrade here.”

“Oh yeah,” Raven agrees. “So what were you up to while I made sure we weren’t going to get killed by failing systems?”

Clarke rolls her eyes at the exaggeration.

“Well, the guys had the algae farm pretty much done when I got there, we just need to water it now as far as I can tell, and then Jordan took us here.” She pauses for a moment. “I think it was tough for him, he sort of shut himself in Harper and Monty’s bedroom for a while. Bellamy and I got these rooms set up, found some clothes and stuff, I put some in the dresser for you, and then we… watched soccer, actually.”

Raven gives her a questioning look, pushing herself up so she's sitting on the edge of the bed. “Soccer? As in the old game where you kick a ball around on a field?”

“Yup. I used to watch old games with my dad back on the Ark, I guess I was feeling nostalgic or something… and then I sort of fell asleep.”

“Yeah you did.” Raven wiggles her eyebrows, lowering her voice a little as she continues. “You two were looking real cozy when I got here.”

Clarke sighs. “Please, Raven, just…”

“Yeah, yeah,” the brunette interrupts, hands raised in the universal sign of surrender. “I said I wouldn’t meddle unless it was absolutely necessary, and I won’t… for now.”

“No, not ever.”

Raven doesn’t offer a response to that, just shrugs, unconcerned as she gets up from the bed.

“Come on, I’m not looking forward to algae – again – but I am dying for a shower,” she changes the subject before leading the way back into the lounge. “Though I don’t know how I can feel dirty after being asleep in a hermetically sealed pod for 125 years.”

Bellamy has moved to the dining table, just fifteen or so feet from the door to Raven’s bedroom, and for a moment, Clarke thinks he must have heard their conversation. But then he looks up at her with a smile, and she lets out a relieved breath. Jordan is rummaging through one of the cupboards, emerging a moment later with a large plastic container.

“Algae, I assume?” Raven asks, wrinkling her nose, as she and Clarke join Bellamy at the table.

“I’m afraid that’s all this establishment has to offer,” Jordan replies, taking the lid off the box and putting it in the middle of the table. He turns back to the kitchen and fills a pitcher with water, which he then places on the table as well, along with a glass for each of them. “The water might taste a little metallic for a while, since it’s been sitting in the pipes and cistern for so long, but it’s safe to drink.”

“And shower in, I hope?” Raven wonders, grabbing what looks like a dark green protein bar from the container on the table.

“Sure, that too,” he confirms, sitting down to Raven’s left.

“OK, so you might want to take it a little easy on this stuff, Clarke,” Raven recommends as Jordan hands her one of the bars. “The first time I ate algae, I puked for, like, two days.”

Clarke feels her stomach turn at the prospect.

“I don’t think that was so much your digestive system as Monty’s algae batch,” Bellamy says, giving Clarke’s arm a comforting squeeze. “None of us handled that one very well, but it was a bit of an experiment. The ones after that one was fine, and this is pretty much an infinitely refined version, right Jordan?”

Jordan nods. “It should be fine,” he agrees, turning to Clarke. “I mean, you must have eaten your fair share of food that was hard to digest after Praimfaya?”

“Food would be too kind in some cases,” she replies, turning the bar over in her hands curiously. “Try bark, pine needles, seaweed.”

Raven makes a gagging sound. “Maybe our algae wasn’t so bad after all.”

Clarke breaks off a small piece of the algae bar and puts it in her mouth, chewing carefully. The consistency is a little funny, but it doesn’t taste too bad. She swallows it down and takes another bite.

“I’ve definitely eaten worse stuff than this,” she concludes, as the other three seem to relax and start eating their own bars. “On the other hand, once I found the valley, I had all kinds of food to choose from – fruit and berries, meat, fish, we even managed to grow some vegetables. Beats your algae any day.”

As she thought, this earns her narrowed eyes from Bellamy and a small chunk of algae in her hair from Raven. Jordan, however, just seems fascinated. Clarke supposes it’s hard to miss something you’ve never experienced.

“I can’t wait to try all that,” he says excitedly. “Sometimes, Dad told me about the food on Earth – roasted meat, dried berries, nuts and fish… and the stuff from Mount Weather.”

Clarke can’t help the groan that escapes her.

“Oh my God, that chocolate cake!” she exclaims. “I still dream about it sometimes, I swear…”

“I used to dream about meat on the Ring,” Raven says. “I had, like, steaks chasing me through the corridors up there, yelling at me to eat them. Which might not all have been about missing the food, but I’d rather not examine that too closely.”

They continue discussing what food they miss from the Ark and the Ground, trying to explain how different things taste to Jordan, while they finish their algae bars. They’re surprisingly filling, Clarke finds as she swallows the last few pieces.

After their dinner, they lounge on the couch for a little while, not even turning the TV back on, just letting the events of the day settle and throwing out the odd question to Jordan when they think of something they haven’t talked about yet, before they turn in for the night. Raven’s the first to leave, mumbling something about a shower through a huge yawn, and the other three follow suit soon after.

The water feels like heaven on her skin, even though it’s just barely lukewarm. Clarke decides against washing her hair, since she knows from experience that it’ll look like a complete bird’s nest in the morning if she goes to bed while it’s still wet, and instead just uses the soap in the little cubicle to clean herself off. She reluctantly pulls on her old underwear again – they’ll have to do a more thorough search of the ship to see if they can find more somewhere – along with a pair of shorts and a soft t-shirt she found earlier. There’s a toothbrush in the cabinet above the sink, still wrapped in plastic, and Clarke opens it and brushes her teeth. She can’t remember the last time she used real toothpaste, but she knows it must have been back on the Ark, so needless to say it’s been a while.

She leaves the bathroom and turns on the lamp on one of the bedside tables, but doesn’t get into bed right away. She remembers there was a bookcase in the lounge, and decides to check it out before she goes to sleep.

The lights have been turned off, only a small table lamp by the couch still lit, leaving the bookcase mostly in shadow and Clarke crosses the room and crouches down in front of it.

Books were a rarity on the Ark – there was a digital library that everyone had access to through their media tablets, so there was plenty to read, but they had very few physical books and the ones they did have were kept locked up in glass cases in a room that mostly resembled a museum exhibit, to protect them. Clarke still remembers when she was eight and her dad took her there to see the most amazing book, a big, red one with a leather clad cover with gilded, faded letters – _The Complete Works of William Shakespeare_. They’d been allowed to take the book out of its glass case and her dad had turned the pages almost reverently, telling her about the different plays and sonnets. The next day, Clarke had opened _Romeo and Juliet_ on her tablet, but the language was so strange that she gave up after five minutes. She read other works by Shakespeare later in school, of course, but never that one for some reason.

“Maybe it’s time to try again,” she mumbles to herself as her fingers stop on a faded blue spine. She pulls it out of the book case carefully, standing and wiping away a little dust from the cover. She’s about to return to her room when the door to Bellamy’s room opens and he steps into the living area, only a towel around his hips, hair still wet from his shower and dripping slightly onto his shoulders and chest. For a moment, Clarke’s frozen, her throat immediately dry as a desert and her heartrate picking up.

He pauses when he sees her, but then he smiles and crosses the room to join her.

“Great minds think alike, I guess,” he says, turning his attention to the books.

Clarke has to swallow a couple of times before she can even open her mouth and by the time she can finally speak again, he’s already got a book in his hand.

“What did you pick?” she asks, hoping he doesn’t catch the way her voice trembles slightly.

He holds the book up and she has to lean in closer to be able to read the title in the low light, the scent of the soap she just used herself and something else, uniquely Bellamy, filling her nostrils as she does. She deliberately keeps her eyes on the book and does in no way let them wander down, across his chest, abs, the V that disappears behind the towel that could so easily fall to the floor if she just… She clears her throat to stop that train of thought and takes a step back.

“ _Catcher in the Rye_ ,” she reads out loud. “Any good?”

Bellamy raises his eyebrows. “Well, I haven’t read it yet, so I don’t know,” he says. “Get back to me in a couple of days.”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “I just thought you might have read it before and liked it,” she replies.

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “I mostly read to O when we were kids, didn’t get much say in what we read. And school stuff, of course.”

“Ah.” Clarke nods in understanding. “Well… enjoy your book.”

He gives her a soft smile.

“You too. Goodnight, Clarke.”

She returns the smile before turning in the direction of her room.

“Night, Bellamy.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, hope you liked it, and if you did, feel free to let me know - comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday guys! Hope you've all had a good weekend :) Time for another chapter, some more Raven meddling in this one, though she's switching angles for a while, and some more on Bellamy's view of the Echo situation, so a heads up - Becho will be mentioned in this one. I've already made my opinion on Bellamy not being a cheater clear, I think, so him working through the relationship with Echo is a necessity to get to the good parts ;)
> 
> I'm not a doctor or anything like that, so the medical stuff in this chapter is not based in actual science, just FYI.
> 
> I own nothing, as usual.

**-6-**

 

Bellamy stands frozen as Clarke returns to her bedroom with her book in hand. It feels like she should feel his gaze, burning into her back, but if she does, she doesn’t acknowledge it. When she closes the door softly behind her, he lets out a shaky breath and finally feels himself relax.

He nearly had a heart attack when he saw her leaning over the bookcase in those tiny shorts, but he thinks (desperately hopes) that she didn’t notice anything off about him. He supposes he should count himself lucky that she, unlike himself, had chosen to get dressed before leaving her room at least… he doesn’t want to think about what a Clarke in nothing but a towel would do to him.

He determinedly pushes the distracting images that thought brings to mind away and goes back to his own bedroom, closing the door behind him before hanging the towel over the shower rail in the bathroom to dry. After rummaging around the dresser, where he put the clothes he found during their earlier raid of the living quarters, for a moment he picks a pair of sweatpants. He doesn’t bother with a t-shirt, just crawls into bed and pulls the fancy, puffy comforter up to his chest before opening the book.

He chose it at random, really – Clarke’s presence next to him too distracting for him to be able to peruse the available selection the way he had wanted to – recognizing the title from some list of books his old English teacher on the Ark had recommended the students read in addition to the books they were actually assigned for their school work. He never got around to it back then, obviously, but figures now is as good a time as any. Either way, he’s planning on bringing all the books he can find on the ship down to this new planet if they do end up settling there, so he’ll have plenty of time to read the rest of them. Hopefully.

He gets through two chapters before deciding to call it a night and turning off the small lamp on the bedside table. He’s not really expecting to fall asleep, if he’s being completely honest, even if he is tired in some strange way, but figures he might as well give it a try.

To his surprise, he’s out within minutes, and when he wakes up again he knows, without a clock or any other indication, that he must have been asleep for hours.

Nature’s calling, so he pulls on a t-shirt and takes care of business before going out into the empty living area and turning on the TV to check the time. The clock on the screen had read 7.36 when he turned it off yesterday, before they had dinner – the only time reference he really has, and he doesn’t even know if it was in the morning or evening – so he figures he probably fell asleep around nine thirty or ten at the latest.

When the screen glows to life, the clock reads 8.07. Bellamy has to blink a couple of times to make sure he’s seeing it correctly, but it’s still there, black against the red background, when he opens his eyes again. He’s been asleep for over ten hours? It doesn’t seem right, but the evidence is right there in front of him.

He’s trying to decide if he should wake up the others – they do have a lot to do, after all – when Raven’s door opens and the girl in question emerges, mouth open in a wide yawn and arms stretched up over her head.

“Morning,” she says when she spots him, grabbing a glass from the kitchen and filling it with water before joining him on the couch. “Sleep OK?”

Bellamy steals her glass to take a sip of the water himself, grimacing a little at the tinny taste before handing the glass back.

“Great, actually,” he replies. “And a lot. We went to bed around nine, I think, and now it’s eight.”

Raven’s eyes widen slightly. “Seriously? How can we sleep for over ten hours after having been asleep for more than a century?” She sets the glass down on the table and takes the remote from him. “You’d think we’d have had enough rest for the next couple of years, not sleep _more_.”

“Maybe it’s like when you’ve been sedated,” Clarke’s voice comes from behind them, still a little gravelly with sleep, and Bellamy glances over his shoulder. He’s relieved to find that she’s put on a pair of sweatpants similar to the ones he’s wearing himself instead of the shorts from last night. He’s not entirely sure he’d be able to hide his reaction to those from Raven, she’s way too observant for her own good. Or his.

“Please explain, doctor Griffin,” Raven requests as Clarke joins them, taking a seat in one of the armchairs.

She rolls her eyes. “Not a doctor thing,” she says. “I just remember when I had my appendix out when I was, like, twelve maybe? I was sedated during the procedure, and for a couple of days after, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and pretty much slept until someone or something woke me up. I have no idea why, but I figured this might be something similar.”

Raven flips through the titles on the TV – she’s already picked TV shows and then sitcoms – as she responds.

“I just hope it passes soon. I have too much shit to get done to waste ten hours sleeping every night.”

Clarke shakes her head, an indulgent smile on her face.

“Just give your body some time to adapt to being awake again,” she says in an amused voice. “I’m sure it’s not easy being frozen for years and years just to go back to business as usual like this.”

Raven’s settled on the first episode of _Friends_ , which Bellamy remembers vaguely from their time on the Ring. He hadn’t found it all that funny, but Raven and Harper had gone through all ten seasons in a couple of months and then watched the whole show again a couple of times over the next six years. The opening tune fills the room and the characters dance around in the stupid fountain on the screen.

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven says dismissively. “Let’s wake the kid up, grab some breakfast and get back to the bridge so we can get the drone sent out and start exploring this planet already. If we’re going to waste half the day sleeping we’ve got to make use of the hours we’re actually awake.”

Bellamy meets Clarke’s eyes and shrugs. It’s not like Raven’s _wrong_ exactly – they do have a lot to do – but they probably don’t have to wake Jordan up or rush through breakfast.

Fortunately, the door to Jordan’s bedroom opens at that moment and he joins them in the living area.

“Everybody have a good night?” he asks, leaning against the back of Clarke’s armchair.

“Except for the fact that we slept for ten hours, it was great,” Raven replies, and Jordan chuckles.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I should have warned you – Dad said that might happen. Something about the levels of Melatonin in the body being heightened for some time after cryo, so you sleep more.”

“Raven’s impatient,” Bellamy supplies, earning an exaggerated eye-roll from the mechanic. “It’s one of her many character flaws.”

“Oh, screw you, Blake,” she counters, but Bellamy can see the gleam in her eyes despite her harsh words.

“Right,” Jordan says hurriedly, obviously not picking up on their good natured jabs and trying to deflate the situation. “I’ll grab some algae bars for us, and we can bring them to the bridge so Raven can get started while we eat.”

“Nah,” Raven replies, leaning back against the couch and focusing on the TV again. “No food around the computers, I don’t want to have to fix them when someone inevitably gets crumbs or water in them. Besides, I haven’t had my _Friends_ fix in ages.”

Jordan seems torn for a moment, clearly not used to Raven’s quick mood changes, but eventually settles for getting them all bars from the kitchen along with some water and glasses for himself, Clarke and Bellamy. When he’s handed out the breakfast, he sits down in the armchair next to Raven and turns to the TV.

“Is this the first episode?” he asks and Raven nods, not taking her eyes of the screen where Rachel, dressed in a wedding gown, bursts into the coffee shop. Honestly, this show is weird… “I used to watch this with Mom when I was little.”

Raven glances over at Jordan, a soft smile on her face that Bellamy doesn’t remember seeing very often.

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

-100-

They end up watching another episode before Raven decides it’s time to actually start the work day and ushers everyone out of the apartment and back towards the bridge.

“OK, so I’ve programmed the system with coordinates for a dozen spots in one general area on the planet’s surface,” she explains as they walk through the winding corridors, Jordan leading the way. Bellamy’s reminded of the story about the Minotaur, and idly wonders if there might be a ball of yarn around to help him find his way when Jordan’s not there to act as a guide. He’s fairly sure he’ll end up getting lost if he’s left to his own devices and he’s not too keen on that. “So we know where to land later, if it seems like a good place for a settlement. Or so we can find another spot, if it doesn’t.”

“Smart,” Bellamy notes and Raven gives him one of her razor sharp grins over her shoulder.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” she bites back. “I am a genius after all.”

“And humble, too,” Clarke adds in a stage whisper, and she and Bellamy exchange an amused look when Raven flips them off without turning around.

“We all know you’d be dead at least five times over by now if it wasn’t for me,” she says confidently as she hits the button to open the door to the bridge.

“Yeah, yeah, like we could forget that,” Bellamy agrees with an eye-roll.

The large window is dark now, both suns obviously hiding behind the planet. For a moment, Bellamy tries to find a familiar constellation, but none of the stars make sense to him. He has no idea how far from Earth they actually are, it could just be that they’re seeing the same stars from a different angle, or it could be new stars altogether.

Raven pays the window no mind, heading straight for the computer she was using last night and reclaiming her chair. Jordan and Bellamy pull three chairs over from around the room and they all sit down so they can see the screen too. Not that Bellamy, or Clarke for that matter, understands much of what’s on it. Jordan seems to, though.

“No response on the radio,” he notes, and Raven shakes her head.

“Nope, nothing. I programmed my tablet so it would alert us if there was, though, so we would have known the moment it happened.”

She clicks a few buttons and the screen changes, a bunch of numbers appearing on it instead.

“So these are the coordinates for the drone,” Raven explains. “They won’t tell you anything, really, not without any context, but I chose a spot on the largest of the landmasses, within about fifteen miles of the sea, or the equivalent of the seas on Earth. A large body of water, anyway. I figured we might want to be fairly close to it, but not too close in case the weather is volatile. Don’t want our settlement to get washed away the first time there’s a storm.”

“What does the land look like?” Jordan asks. “Mountains, woods, plains?”

“We can’t get images detailed enough to tell a lot, really, but no mountains,” Raven replies. “They seem to be more in the middle of the continent, if we stick with the comparisons to Earth. It seems to be a mix of woods and open areas, which I thought was a good combination – trees for construction and to use as fire wood but open space for building and maybe some farms, growing stuff and keeping animals, if we can find any that resemble our cattle or horses and can be easily domesticated.”

“It sounds good,” Clarke agrees, glancing at Bellamy. He gives her a nod to show that he’s on the same page. “So what do we do now?”

Raven moves the cursor to a little blue square at the bottom right corner of the screen.

“Push this button and the drone gets ejected from the ship and finds its coordinates, collects the samples, and returns here when it’s done.”

Bellamy gives her an incredulous look. “That’s it?” he asks.

Raven shrugs. “I didn’t say I had a lot to actually _do_ , just a lot of things to get _done_ ,” she replies innocently, and he sighs.

“Well, get on with it then.”

Raven sticks her tongue out at him but she hits the little blue button.

Nothing happens.

“We won’t see it,” Raven explains when she notices their blank faces. “It’s too small, and it’s too dark out there. But it’s on its way, promise.”

“Kind of anticlimactic,” Clarke notes, and Raven snorts.

“Sorry, next time I’ll send a missile with it, give you more of a show.”

“Probably not a good idea,” Jordan says hurriedly.

“Just joking, kid,” Raven replies, patting him on the back reassuringly.

“So now we just… wait for it to get back?” Bellamy asks.

“Pretty much,” Raven confirms.

“And how long is that going to take?” Clarke wants to know. “Ballpark figure.”

“Five, maybe six hours,” Raven says. “It’s pretty quick, but still, it’s a long way down, and I’m not sure where the coordinates are right now, it might need to go all the way around the planet.”

“So…” Jordan starts, “more _Friends_ while we wait?”

“Not like we can do much else,” Raven agrees, so they make their way back to the apartment.

Raven immediately claims the armchair Clarke occupied earlier, giving Bellamy a look with raised eyebrows and nodding subtly in the direction of the couch. He gives her a quizzical look in return, but sinks down in what is apparently becoming his corner of the couch. A moment later, Jordan nabs the other armchair, leaving Clarke to the couch, and instead of sitting down she stretches out over the entire thing, head on the armrest and feet in Bellamy’s lap. Raven gives him a pleased smirk which makes Bellamy realize that she’s up to something… he’ll have to try to find out what exactly before whatever it is goes any further. But for now, he’s happy to watch Ross flirt ineptly with Rachel on the screen and listen to Clarke’s snorts of laughter now and then.

-100-

They get through another ten episodes and some more algae bars for lunch before there’s a beep from Raven’s tablet, alerting them to… something.

“Drone or radio?” Bellamy asks as she taps away at the screen. If he’s honest, he’s kind of hoping there won’t be any response on the radio call, and that they won’t find any Eligius descendants, or other humans for that matter, when they finally get down to the planet. It would make things so much easier… but when have things ever been easy for them?

“Drone,” Raven confirms absentmindedly, still focused on the tablet.

Clarke turns the TV off, cutting off the end credits to the episode, and pushes herself up from the couch.

“Time to get back to work,” she says, stretching her arms up above her head – which makes her shirt ride up a little and expose a sliver of skin that Bellamy’s eyes are immediately drawn to – before heading towards the door. Jordan joins her, but Bellamy hangs back a little, waiting for Raven to finish whatever she’s doing on the tablet.

When she finally gets up, Clarke and Jordan have disappeared out into the corridor and their voices are fading away, so Bellamy takes the opportunity to corner Raven and call her out on whatever it was she was doing earlier.

“Hey, what was that before?” he asks in a low voice, blocking her way out of the apartment.

She gives him an innocent look and tries to side-step him. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Cut the crap, Raven,” he snaps, grabbing her wrist. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

She pulls free from his grasp and crosses her arms over her chest, but apparently decides to just come clean.

“Fine,” she says with a huff. “Excuse me for trying to play match maker.”

Bellamy sighs. “Match maker, seriously? You do know I have a…” But he trails off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

“A what, exactly?” Raven asks, eyebrows raised in a smug look.

“Echo,” he finishes lamely.

“You can’t even say the word ‘girlfriend’ though,” she argues, “because she’s not. I know you two have a thing or whatever, but come on, we both know it’s nothing compared to your feelings for Clarke.”

Bellamy knows that if any of his friends knows exactly how he feels, it’s Raven – she witnessed his breakdown, after all, and after he’d been able to talk about Clarke, and had needed to process his guilt over leaving her behind and his feelings surrounding her in general, Raven had been the one he’d gone to most of the time. But still, she can’t just meddle like this whenever she feels like it without taking other people’s feelings into account. And he could have gotten over that, Raven doesn’t know… OK, he _hasn’t_ but the thing is that he _could have_. The fact that she just assumes he hasn’t is probably a sign that she knows him a little too well.

“It doesn’t matter, Raven,” he retorts. “Echo might not be my girlfriend, but we are in some kind of relationship, OK?”

“Fine, I get it,” Raven says. “But just tell me this – do you love her? And I’m not talking about Clarke.”

“Of course I do,” he replies truthfully.

“Let me rephrase that – are you _in love_ with her?”

Of course she has to go and split hairs.

“It doesn’t matter,” he repeats instead of answering her actual question, because, really, they both already know the answer to it. He can see that she’s about to argue again, but continues before she has a chance. “I’m not that guy, I won’t start something with someone else while she’s in cryo, that’s a dick move. You of all people should understand that.”

It’s a bit of a low blow and he knows it, but he just wants to get through to her. Raven’s eyes narrow, and for a moment he thinks she might actually punch him. It has happened before and he has no doubt it will happen again – they have a tendency to butt heads rather violently when they don’t agree on something.

“OK, I guess I do see your point,” she instead admits grudgingly. “Can you just promise me that you will do _something_ about this once everything’s settled down? I’ll back off for now, but I just… I picked up the pieces when you thought she was dead, and now she’s not… can you at least see that you’ve been given a second chance?”

Her voice has lost all fight by the end, and Bellamy realizes that this must be hitting a little too close to home for Raven. Sure, she and Finn had been broken up at the time of his death, and he knows she’s moved on from that, but Finn had been her whole life, her family, and that’s not something you forget just like that. If Raven could get him back… Bellamy’s sure she wouldn’t even hesitate.

“I know, OK?” he assures her, reaching out a hand to squeeze her shoulder. “Just… let me figure it out, yeah? I need to do this my way or I’ll just end up feeling guilty and making everyone miserable. Myself included.”

Raven snorts at that. “That’s kind of the default setting with you and Clarke, so forgive me if I don’t exactly have a lot of faith in you,” she says drily.

“Hey, I resent that!” he grumbles, though he has to admit that she’s probably right.

“Resent all you want,” she tells him, patting him on the arm in a slightly condescending way. “How about this – I’ll give you six months, and if neither of you have gotten your heads out of your asses by then, I will take matters into my own hands?”

He would prefer that she stayed out of it altogether, but he knows that he has to pick his battles with Raven. And it might actually be a good thing to have some sort of time limit to work with – he’ll admit that odds are that he’ll chicken out at some point, either when it comes to talking to Echo or, if he somehow manages to handle _that_ situation, making an actual move on Clarke.

“I’m guessing that’s the best I’m going to get?” he asks drily, and Raven gives him a pleased smile. “Fine, I’ll take it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, hope you liked it! Comments and kudos are always welcome :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you guys, and we've reached The Talk - you know, the one about those radio calls... Well, eventually, first we're going to get to know a bit more about this new planet, and wake someone else up!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left Kudos and comments on the last chapter, you guys make my day :)
> 
> Again, the technical aspects of this chapter aren't exactly founded in science, so let's just pretend they make sense, kay ;)
> 
> As usual, I don't own anything. Oh, and this is still not beta'd, so any mistakes are mine!

**-7-**

 

Jordan asks Clarke about Madi as they leave the apartment, and they’ve reached the bridge, Clarke telling him everything she can think of about the girl, by the time she realizes that Raven and Bellamy aren’t behind them.

“Where did they disappear to?” she wonders as she turns around to look back the way they came, craning her neck as if that could help her see further along the labyrinthine corridors.

Jordan shrugs. “Maybe Raven needed to check something on the way?” he suggests.

“Maybe…” Clarke agrees hesitantly.

“I can get everything set up while we wait for them,” Jordan says, opening the door to the bridge.

Figuring the others will join them soon, Clarke follows him into the room.

The two suns have risen outside the window and are illuminating the planet below once again. The sky seems to be clearer today, and Clarke can see patches of green and blue – land and sea, she assumes.

Jordan starts tapping away at the computer Raven used to launch the drone earlier, the click-clack of the keys echoing slightly in the large space, and Clarke leans against a desk a few feet away and watches him work. She sees Monty in the way his eyebrows draw together as he focuses on the screen, and Harper in the way his eyes light up when he apparently solves something.

She wonders if it will ever really sink in that they’re gone for good.

Before she has a chance to lose herself in depressing thoughts, the door to the corridor swooshes open again and Raven and Bellamy enter.

“What happened to you guys?” Clarke asks as Raven joins Jordan by the computer and Bellamy claims his own spot leaning against the desk next to Clarke. His arm brushes against hers as he shrugs, sending shivers up and down her arm.

“Just wanted to check the system stats on the tablet,” Raven says quickly. “Don’t want to suffocate while we’re focused on the drone.”

“I thought you said all the systems were in good shape,” Clarke counters suspiciously, and Raven shrugs.

“And they will remain in good shape as long as I keep an eye on them now and then. Who’s the mechanic here, huh?”

Clarke has a feeling that Raven’s not being completely honest, but she also knows that there’s no point insisting when the brunette is determined not to let anything on. Maybe she can get Bellamy to give whatever it is up later.

“Right, let’s get this show on the road,” Raven announces as she crosses to a large pipe made of grey plastic that stretches from the floor to the ceiling along one of the walls. She opens a hatch in the pipe and pulls out what looks like a miniature rocket, maybe two feet long and with a diameter of around six inches. She brings it back to the desk and lays it down carefully before twisting the bottom of it and pulling out a metal canister.

“There we go…” she mumbles, mainly to herself Clarke suspects, as she opens the canister and pulls out several objects that look to Clarke like sealed up petri dishes. Each of them has a few pieces of dirt inside them.

“That’s it?” Clarke says, almost reverently, because this moment can actually make or break their entire future. If it turns out this planet isn’t a viable option for them… she doesn’t really want to think about it. “Samples from our new home.”

Raven nods slowly, perhaps picking up on Clarke’s solemnity.

“This is it. I just need to load them into the analyzer and we’ll know within a few minutes.”

She doesn’t have to specify _what_ exactly they’ll know, it’s clear to all of them.

“OK then, might as well get things going,” she continues, opening some sort of tray on the machine she calls the analyzer and inserting the petri dishes into slots clearly designed for them. She closes it back up and pushes a few buttons before stepping away. “It’ll be a couple of minutes, I’ll plug the oxygen probe in and get the readings from that in the meantime.”

Since Clarke has nothing to really contribute to Raven’s monologue, she just nods and watches her friend insert a cable in a little orb on the nose of the rocket and click a few buttons on the computer.

“OK, this looks good at least, so far,” Raven says after a moment. “The levels are basically the same as on Earth, and no hint of radiation or anything else that might be harmful to us.”

“Great, first potential problem gone,” Bellamy notes. “Only a million others to go.”

Clarke nudges him in the side with her elbow. “Don’t be such a downer,” she says.

Before he has a chance to respond, the machine beeps and Jordan grabs the paper it spits out, handing it to Raven.

“OK, let’s see what we’ve got here…” she mumbles, scanning the page. “I think I need to give you a visual of the area we’ve tested to be able to explain this properly.”

She opens a new window on the computer and clicks a few buttons, which makes twelve dots appear on the screen in a rectangle which is wider than it is tall – four dots in each row and three in each column, at equal distance from each other.

“OK, so these are the spots we’ve tested,” Raven explains, gesturing at the screen. “They’re each one mile apart, so it’s two miles from the bottom to the top, three miles from left to right and the whole area is six square miles.”

“OK, so big enough for a settlement with maybe some farms around the main living area,” Bellamy says, clearly already going into planning mode. “And how does the land look?”

“The humidity level is higher in these three spots,” Raven says, indicating the three spots along the left edge. “I’d say that means there’s a body of water fairly close by, but we can’t know that for sure until we’re down there, of course. It could just be that the ground water is closer to the surface in that area, which still means it should be fairly easy to drill for wells, even if there isn’t a ready-made water source waiting for us.”

“It’s a good indicator,” Clarke agrees. “And how about the soil itself, will we be able to grow stuff?”

Raven turns to Jordan, who has remained quiet off to one side during their discussion. “I’m not an expert on that part, that was usually Monty’s area,” she says. “What do you think, kid?”

Jordan bends over the paper, taking a closer look for a moment.

“Well, all the macronutrients are there in good quantities,” he says thoughtfully. “Micronutrients look good as well… and the level of silicon seems good, it’ll help the crops handle stuff like draughts and any pathogens better, as well as give a better yield.”

The other three just stare at him for a moment.

“It looks good,” he summarizes. “The soil should be good for farming, giving tough crops that can handle periods without rain and any vermin there might be.”

“Great.” Raven slumps back in the chair, seemingly deflating now that her task is done. “Now what?”

“Well, there’s still, what, 36 hours of automatic radio calls left?” Clarke says, glancing at the little clock at the top of the computer screen. 3.12. “Should we wake Shaw up so you two can prepare whatever needs preparing on the transport ship, so it’s ready when we need to get down there?”

Raven shrugs. “There’s not much to prepare, really. We fueled up when we docked with this ship, so all we need to do is turn on the systems and we’ll be ready for takeoff.” She pauses for a moment. “But we’ll need to bring him up to speed with everything before we do that, so might as well wake him up and get that done.”

“He might have an easier time adjusting, considering he’s already spent a century in cryo before,” Bellamy notes. “So do you want to take care of that on your own, or…”

Clarke catches a teasing note in his voice and scrutinizes Raven for a moment, noticing a slight reddening of her cheeks and neck. Was there something going on between her and the Eligius pilot before they left Earth? Clarke hadn’t noticed anything, but then again, the only times she’d been in the same room as Raven and Shaw they’d always been in… let’s just say extreme situations. Not like she was on high alert for signs of romance. She files the information away for possible future use, though, if Raven gets to be too much to handle about the whole Bellamy situation at some point. It can’t hurt to have some blackmail material of her own.

“Hell no, you two were the ones Monty wanted woken up first, I’m taking that as a sign it’s your job to handle the whole explanation part,” the brunette says.

Clarke sighs and gives Bellamy a side glance.

“Should have seen that coming,” she says, and he snorts.

“Probably,” he agrees. “But don’t think you’re off the hook, Reyes. We’ll do it together, just like we did with you. That way we can all jump in if someone forgets something important.”

“Fine,” Raven grumbles, as if it’s an actual hardship, but she turns off the computer screen and gets up from the desk. “Lead the way.”

As with Raven yesterday, Jordan pulls up Shaw’s file on the control panel in the cryo chamber and pushes the green button. They all watch as the pod opens and the man inside open his eyes.

“Morning,” he greets them before jumping down from the pod, clearly having an easier time than the rest of them so far. He gives Raven a smirk. “What, I don’t get a hug?”

Clarke pointedly turns away from the couple to give them some privacy, Bellamy and Jordan mimicking her movements next to her. It’s only a moment before Raven clears her throat.

“OK, losers, you can turn around, I promise we won’t ruin your fragile virtues,” she says drily.

As Clarke turns back around, she can see the confusion spreading on Shaw’s face.

“Why are we the only ones awake?” he asks, glancing around the room where the majority of the cryo pods are still inhabited and closed. “I thought the system would be set to wake everyone up at the same time.”

“Well…” Raven starts. “There’s been a _slight_ change of plans.”

-100-

“So you’re telling me that the Earth is gone, we’ve been asleep for 125 years, and are right now orbiting a planet in some other solar system that’s supposed to be safe for humans?” Shaw summarizes the long explanation that Clarke and Bellamy have spent the last few minutes giving him, with occasional help from the other two.

“Basically, yeah,” Bellamy confirms with a shrug.

“We sent down a drone earlier and just finished analyzing the results, and based on them, the air should be breathable and the land suitable for farming,” Clarke continues. “We already know that the planet is equivalent to Earth in all other aspects, meaning life _should_ be possible. So the next logical step now is to get down there and actually see what we have to work with. We’re just giving any potential inhabitants a little longer to respond to our radio calls before we land in their backyard and piss them off.”

“Right, right.” Shaw nods, running a hand over his face. “And you need me to fly the transport ship?”

Raven snorts at that. “Please, I can fly the ship fine on my own. We just figured two pilots might be better than one, to be on the safe side. And someone should probably stay with the ship while we’re down there exploring, just in case – if there’s five of us the other four can split up in pairs to cover more ground.”

“So you _didn’t_ need my amazing expertise?” Shaw counters with a smirk. Clarke decides that she likes him – anyone who can stand up to Raven and get away with it is someone she wouldn’t mind getting to know better.

“Or your big head,” Raven replies with an angelic smile that Clarke knows is a sign of danger.

Apparently, so does Shaw. Good for him.

“Right, let’s get started then, shall we?” he suggests. “I want to run a complete system check on the transport ship, just to make sure everything’s good to go.”

Raven frowns. “We ran a check when we docked,” she reminds him.

“Which apparently was over a century ago, so I want to run a complete system check on the transport ship,” Shaw repeats.

“Fine,” Raven agrees with a sigh. “If you want to waste your time, go right ahead. We’ve got _Friends_ to get back to.”

“I thought we were the only ones awake?” Shaw says, which makes Raven sigh, turn on her heel and march out of the cryo chamber. He turns to Clarke with a confused look. “What did I do?”

Clarke pats him comfortingly on the arm. “Not your fault. We were watching TV, the show _Friends_ , while we waited for the drone to get back. Raven’s just… a little on edge, I think.”

As if to prove her point, Raven’s annoyed voice floats through the open door to the corridor. “Are you coming or not? You’re the one who wants to do the damn system check.”

Shaw takes a deep, exaggerated breath and blows it back out slowly. “I guess we’re doing a system check on the transport ship,” he concludes, voice slightly lower to avoid Raven hearing him. “We can handle this on our own, if you guys want to get back to your show.”

Bellamy immediately shakes his head. “I know from experience that Raven will not hesitate to give you the silent treatment for weeks if you _cheat on her_ – her words, not mine – with a TV show. We’ll just come with you and make sure you don’t kill each other.”

“I heard that, Blake!” Raven’s head pops in through the door. “Let’s get a move on.”

Shaw and Jordan immediately follow her out into the corridor, but Clarke and Bellamy hang back a little.

“You’d think we didn’t still have a day and a half to kill up here before we can do anything,” Clarke notes, voice low so as not to anger Raven even more.

Bellamy chuckles. “You know Raven, she’s just not happy unless she has something important to tinker with.”

“Maybe I hoped she had mellowed out while you all were up in space,” Clarke replies.

“Wishful thinking.”

Clarke snorts. “Clearly. Come on, let’s catch up.”

Bellamy hesitates. “They don’t really need us, though, right? One mediator is enough, Jordan will make sure they play nice.”

Clarke raises her eyebrows. “Did you have something else in mind?”

“We could go back to the apartment, relax, watch some TV… I think we’ve earned a bit of a rest before we set out to explore this new, strange planet, don’t you?”

“I thought you said Raven wouldn’t be happy with us if we did that?”

Bellamy shrugs. “We can watch something else. We didn’t finish that game yesterday.”

Clarke considers her options for a moment. She can insist that they join the others, avoid being alone with him more than she has to, which is probably the smart option, if she’s being honest with herself… or she can make the most of the time they do have together up here, because soon enough there will be others who will make demands on his time.

It might be selfish, and could possibly come back to bite her in the butt in the future, but she doesn’t care. “OK, that sounds good,” she says, getting a big smile in return.

“Lead the way, I’m ready to continue my soccer education,” he says with an exaggerated gesture at the door.

“Shouldn’t we let the others know that we’re abandoning them?” Clarke asks as they leave the bridge.

“Nah,” Bellamy replies. “They’re smart, they’ll figure it out.”

He’s right, of course, so they take the path back to the apartment – they only take a wrong turn once, which Clarke considers progress. They might be able to figure out their way around this ship after all.

When they get back to the apartment, she flops onto the couch, grabbing the remote before sinking down so she can lean her head against the back of the couch and putting her feet up on the table. Bellamy continues into the kitchen.

“Want some water?” he asks, pulling glasses out of the cabinet before she even replies.

“Sure,” she says, turning the TV on and finding the interrupted game. She starts it just as the players return to the field after half time and turns the sound down a bit.

Bellamy hands her a glass before joining her on the couch and mimicking her position, and they watch in silence for a moment.

“Listen…” he starts after a while. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Clarke feels her heartrate pick up a little – has she been too obvious, is he going to ask her to back off? Remind her that he has a girlfriend? Still, she turns her head to look at him, finding him already watching her. “Yeah?”

“I already told you that Madi asked me to not be mad at you,” he says. “She said something else too… that you used to radio me? While we were up on the Ring.”

Really, she shouldn’t be surprised by this – of course Madi would tell Bellamy, she’d probably felt guilty that they were on the outs over the whole Flame thing, which she thought was partly her fault since she hadn’t refused to take it. Of course she would try to appeal to Bellamy to get him to go easier on Clarke, and telling him about the radio calls had probably been what she thought would work best.

Clarke lets out a long sigh, relieved, in a way, but on the other hand she’s not exactly looking forward to this conversation either. “Of course she did.”

Bellamy looks away from her, eyes falling to his hands in his laps, and starts fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“I was just wondering why you didn’t say anything yourself?” he asks after a moment.

“I guess… it never felt like the right time,” she replies, even though there’s more to it. She had planned on telling him when they had a moment to breathe but, well, then there had been Echo.

“I guess I can see that.” Bellamy nods, eyes lifting to the TV again.

Clarke relaxes a little and turns her attention back to the game as well, hoping that was all of it.

But of course not.

“Just… why me?”

Clarke feels him watching her and has to fight to keep her eyes straight ahead and not turn back to him. Because she knows if she sees the pleading look in his eyes, she’ll tell him everything – and she can’t do that.

“Well, apart from the fact that I missed you, all of you, of course, I just… I guess you were always the one who kept me grounded,” she says, which isn’t a lie, per say. Just not the whole truth. “It was what I needed then, especially in the beginning… sometimes I pretended you replied and helped me figure out whatever problem I was having that day. But mostly I just talked…”

“About what?” he asks, voice low.

“Everything,” she replies. “Nothing. I’d tell you about my day, about something funny that Madi had done, after I’d found her, about the animals we saw returning in the valley and the new fruits or berries we found… Other times it was just short check-ins, if I didn’t really have anything to report. Just to let you know I was still there, in case you did hear me but just couldn’t respond for some reason.”

“Part of me wishes that I had,” he says with a sigh. “At least I would have known that you were alive. But then… maybe that would have been even worse? To hear you and not be able to talk to you, or even to hear you _and_ be able to respond, but not help you when you were struggling because I was trapped thousands of miles above you.”

She can’t resist it anymore, and she pauses the game before turning her entire body towards him, leaning her cheek against the couch.

“There were days when I was glad you didn’t hear me,” she admits. “Especially in the beginning.”

“Will you tell me about it?” he asks, voice urgent. “If it’s too much, I get it, I just… I’d like to know what your life was like during those years, good and bad. How you did it…”

Clarke gives him a scrutinizing look. “As long as I’m not contributing to some sort of guilt trip,” she says warily. It would be just like him to ask her about those six years and then use it as an excuse to bury himself in remorse over leaving her.

“Of course not,” he assures her. “I’ll always feel guilty for leaving you behind, even if I know it was what we had to do. Nothing you say is going to change that, but trust me, you can’t tell me anything that will be worse than what I imagined.”

Remembering some of her worst days, Clarke’s not so sure of that. But she can skirt over some of the more grisly details.

“OK, well, I guess I might as well start from the beginning,” she says, and Bellamy relaxes against the couch as well.

“Please do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, the radio calls are out there... let me know what you thought! Comments and kudos are always welcome :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: A bit of a warning on this one, as it contains mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts. It’s in reference to episode 1 from season 5, and I assume everyone reading has watched it, but better safe than sorry!  
> Also, this chapter made me cry when I was writing… and editing… and just before posting when I did a final read through, just putting that out there. Of course, that could just be me – this story is my baby, sort of, and emotional for me in general.  
> As usual, I don’t own anything related to The 100!

**-8-**

 

Clarke is quiet for a long moment, maybe trying to remember those first few days on her own on a desolate planet, maybe trying to figure out how and where to start. Bellamy lets her take her time, keeping quiet and waiting for her to begin.

“Well, first off, the reason I didn’t make it back in time was that the satellite dish had to be aligned manually,” she finally starts, eyes on her hands which are resting against the leg she’s pulled up under her. “The way Raven showed me, with the tablet, it didn’t work, so I had to climb the tower to physically move it, and I wasn’t even to the top when I saw you guys took off in the rocket.”

He has to swallow down the memories of his emotions from that day as they threaten to overwhelm him – anxiously waiting for her to burst through the doors of the lab, desperately  hoping to the very last second, until Raven told him there was no more time left and even after that, that she would make it back.

“I wasn’t even sure if it had worked… but there was nothing more I could do.” She sighs. “So I climbed back down. I could see the wave getting closer, and I ran…I made it back to the lab around the time it hit. I was still affected by the radiation, even with the suit, and it was pretty bad for a couple of days, I was in and out of consciousness a lot.”

Bellamy grits his teeth to avoid jumping in with apologies – she doesn’t need or want them, and he wants to let her get this out without too many interruptions.

“By the third day, I was starting to get better, staying conscious at least. That was the first time I tried the radio,” she continues. “I tried to contact the bunker first, I figured if I could reach them, we could make a plan for how I could get there, get into the bunker and spend the next five years there, with my Mom and the others… But there was no response, of course.

Then I tried the Ring, but you already know _that_ didn’t work. For a moment, I panicked, I thought maybe it had all been in vain, that I had been too late or that something else had gone wrong and you were all dead… but I realized that if I went down that road, I wouldn’t even make it a week without going insane, let alone five years, so I sort of just told myself that you were all fine, that maybe the communication system on the Ring was shot or that the radiation was blocking the signal or something.

After that, I checked in every day. Just briefly, some days, like I said, but others I’d talk for ages… if I was feeling extra lonely or had something exciting to tell you…”

She trails off, and Bellamy takes the opportunity to get a question in.

“Like what?”

“Well, most of the more exciting things happened after I’d found the valley and Madi, but you wanted to know what happened from the beginning, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

He chuckles a little at that.

“Right, so, the first month and a half, I didn’t even leave the lab. The computer systems – don’t even ask me how they survived the wave, I have no idea – they kept track of the radiation levels outside, and they were just too high for me to risk going out there, even with the suit. So I stayed put, tried to plan what to do next… luckily, you guys left behind enough rations to last me for a while, so I didn’t have to starve at least. Would have been a little ironic after surviving Praimfaya…”

Bellamy can’t help but wince at her words. It had been one of his nightmares, in the beginning – that Clarke had somehow survived the radiation wave only to waste away because there was no food, no water.

“When the radiation levels were low enough, I dug my way out of the lab. Luckily, the water around the island was gone, so I could just walk to the mainland. Otherwise I probably would have been stuck there, the boat was just rubble. I somehow found the rover, which helped a lot, and made my way to Arkadia… I don’t know what I was looking for, to be honest, I just had to see it, see what we left behind… But there was nothing for me there but ghosts, and I already had enough of those, so I headed for Polis, where I found the mountain of rubble, of course.

I tried to dig it out for a while, until it almost collapsed on top of me when I shifted something I shouldn’t have. That was one of the bad days, when I realized I wasn’t going to get into the bunker, when it finally, really hit me that I would be on my own for the next five years…”

Another stab of guilt pierces his heart. He can’t even imagine what it must have been like, accepting that. He has to do something, so he reaches out to take one of her hands in both of his, a reassurance both for her and for himself, that she’s here, she’s alive, she made it. Clarke looks up at him briefly and gives him a weak smile but she moves her hand a little so she can squeeze his back.

“So I was going through my rations quickly, and I knew I had to find something else soon, or I wouldn’t make it,” she picks up her narrative, in a matter of fact voice that makes light of how dire the situation really must have been. Even now, when she’s safe in front of him, Bellamy feels his stomach dropping and he can’t even imagine what it would have been like if he’d really been able to hear her back then, listen to her struggle to survive, to find food, water, shelter. Yeah, he decides, that would have been worse than thinking she was dead. The feeling of being powerless, of not being able to help her in any way… He’s pulled out of his musings when she continues speaking. “Only, there wasn’t anything. The ground was either charred or reduced to sand, the grass gone… the trees that were still standing were burnt husks. All the animals had either perished in the radiation wave or found their ways somewhere else… So I just got in the rover and drove, hoping I would find something, anything really…

After a couple of days, I was hit by a sandstorm, like the one when we were marching from Polis to the valley with Wonkru.”

Bellamy remembers – the sand piercing skin like glass, blinding the Wonkru warriors, destroying whatever it could in its path. He thanks whatever higher power was looking out for Clarke that she at least had the rover, that she was protected from the worst of it.

“I didn’t know it would be as bad as it was, of course, I’d never experienced anything like it before. By the time it passed, the solar panels had been destroyed and the rover was dead. So I started walking.

Everything around me was a wasteland, nothing but sand as far as I could see. After a week, maybe, I honestly don’t know, time started blurring together after the first couple of days, I… I spotted a bird circling overhead and for a moment I thought I had started hallucinating. But it was real. I followed it… and it led me to the valley.”

She pauses for a moment, and Bellamy frowns. There’s something he can’t quite put his finger on.

“You’re leaving something out,” he says as he realizes it. She’s not telling him everything about that day.

Clarke lets out a long breath and meets his eyes. “I just… you don’t need to hear it, OK? It was a couple of bad days, but I got through them. I’m fine.”

He doesn’t respond, just holds her gaze until she sighs and looks away again.

“I ran out of water… I hadn’t had anything to eat for days… finally, I passed out, in the middle of the desert. I woke up when a bird was picking at my arm, probably thinking I was dead.”

He almost regrets pushing, but at the same time he’s glad. He said he wanted to know everything, and he does, even if the image makes his stomach turn.

“I scared it when I woke up, I guess, and it took off, up over a sand dune, and I ran after it, thinking it had to have come from somewhere, and if I could just follow it, I’d find… something. Something other than that damn wasteland.

So I stumbled up that sand dune, and when I got to the top, there was nothing. Just more wasteland, more dunes all around me, sand stretching as far as I could see in every direction. The bird was gone, and I just… I guess that was my breaking point.” Her voice is barely audible at the end, her eyes intent on their hands between them, and he can see the tension in her shoulders.

“What do you mean ‘breaking point’?” he asks, though he has a horrible feeling he knows exactly what she means.

“I mean I had a gun to my head and my finger on the trigger,” she says in a rush, perhaps hoping he won’t hear her if she speaks fast enough.

There are so many emotions warring inside him, Bellamy feels like they should be breaking through his skin. At the same time, he’s frozen in place, can’t even tighten his hands around Clarke’s fingers to show her that he’s there, that he won’t let anything like that happen to her again. That she’s not alone, not anymore, not ever again.

“I…” he stutters after a moment when she doesn’t continue.

“It’s OK, you don’t have to say anything,” she replies, her free hand coming to rest on top of his hands where they’re encircling hers. _She’s_ comforting _him_. The thought is laughable, but there’s nothing to laugh about.

He wants to pull her to him, wrap himself around her and never let go again, so he can keep her safe, but he knows he can’t. So he settles for enveloping both her hands in his, his grip probably too tight, but she doesn’t complain so he doesn’t let go.

“Why didn’t you do it?” he asks after a moment, and maybe it’s a stupid question, but he needs to know.

“The bird came back,” she replies simply, and he realizes that he that had been waiting, hoping, maybe, for an answer along the lines of ‘because of you’. Which of course is selfish and wrong, but it’s not like he can help his feelings.

“And led you to the valley,” he continues for her, and Clarke nods.

“It did. After that, it was plain sailing, at least compared to the first couple of months.”

“And you had Madi.”

She nods, a smile making its way onto her face again at the girl’s name. “I did. Well, it took her a while to warm up to me, but just knowing I wasn’t the only living being on the planet was a huge comfort even before she did.”

“Really? I would have thought she’d be ecstatic to have someone else around after being alone for months.”

“Well, I could probably have handled things a little better than I did,” she admits. “I spotted her one day, while I was on the radio, actually, and I was so relieved to see another human being after so long of being on my own that I chased after her, which scared her, obviously. And then when she finally stopped, I asked her if she was a nightblood, which, in retrospect, big mistake.”

Bellamy frowns at that. “Why? She must have figured out there was a reason she survived the radiation wave when nobody else did? Wasn’t it obvious that you were a nightblood too?”

Clarke actually laughs at that. “She was six years old, Bellamy, just a kid. All she knew about being a nightblood was to hide when her parents told her to so the bad men wouldn’t come and take her. So when I asked her about it…”

Realization dawns on him. “She thought you were a Flame keeper who had come to take her to the conclave?” he guesses.

“Yup. I was so distracted by her that I stepped into a bear trap she had set to keep me away, and when I did, she rushed me with a knife of some sort, yelling _die Flame keeper_. And that’s how I met Madi.”

“God, Clarke, I had no idea it was that bad. And I forced her to…”

“No!” she cuts him off. “We’ve already hashed all that out, remember? No take backs. And as Madi told me, you didn’t _make_ her do anything, she took the Flame voluntarily.”

“Can I just say that I get why you reacted the way you did?” he insists. “I know I said I already did, and that was true, but I understand it better now.”

Clarke offers him a smile. “Yes, you can say that, and thank you.”

“So, after that, when Madi started trusting you…”

“It was a good life, I guess. Simple, in a lot of ways. There was already fish back in the lake when I made it to the valley, and a lot of berries and nuts and things like that, so we had plenty to eat. The kind of life I think a lot of us thought we’d have when we first landed.” She frowns a little. “But for me there was always the worry about the bunker, about you guys up in space, somewhere in the back of my mind, tainting it in a way… and there were still bad days. Madi got sick about three years after Praimfaya, really sick… we’d both had the occasional cold before that, and some stomach bugs, but that time it got really bad… I’m pretty sure she developed pneumonia, and I honestly thought I was going to lose her for a day or two before it finally turned… that’s one of the days when I was glad you couldn’t hear me, I was so mad and I took it out on you, on the radio…”

“I wish I did hear you,” Bellamy disagrees. “I could have talked you down, maybe helped you through it easier.”

Clarke’s mouth quirks up a little at his words.

“Of course you would have. You did, really, even if I couldn’t talk to you, just having the radio helped… But apart from that, yeah, it was good. We fished, and when the animals started returning we hunted. We picked the berries and the nuts, found some fruit eventually, apples and pears, and tried some farming, with… varying results. I tried to give Madi some sort of education, teaching her what I remembered from the Ark, so it’s pretty patchy, but the basics in English, math, biology… even some history, though I always imagined you shaking your head in disapproval whenever I tried my hand at that particular subject. I was never very good at names and dates.”

They both laugh at that, and somehow the heavy feeling that has been lingering in the room since Clarke’s admission of her near-suicide lifts, if only a little, and Bellamy feels like he can breathe easier.

“I think you did a good job with her,” he says. “She’s clearly a smart kid.”

“I don’t think I can take all the credit for that, she was pretty smart when I found her,” Clarke replies with a smile.

“Still, you did good.”

“I guess I kept her alive at least, that’s something.”

“That’s _everything_ , Clarke.”

She just sighs in response, eyes falling to his hands, which are still wrapped a little too tightly around hers. He lets them go, thinking that perhaps she needs a little space, but when she doesn’t move away from him, he finally gives into the urge that’s been building since they sat down and wraps an arm around her shoulders so he can pull her against his side.

Clarke lets out a breath and tucks her head against his shoulder, sort of curling around him, her hair tickling his chin a little. She takes his free hand in hers, playing with his fingers, tracing patterns against his palms, lost in thought.

“I talked to you too, you know,” he says after a long moment.

“Hm?” she replies, eyes intent on a vein on the back of his hand which she’s letting a finger run along. Up and down, up and down. He tries to ignore the electricity that shoots up his arm at her touch.

“Not… I didn’t use the radio, obviously, Raven probably would have locked me up if I tried that, thinking I had really lost it,” he continues. “More… in my head. I’d talk to you when I was trying to make tough decisions, solve problems… you always gave great advice.”

Clarke laughs a little at that, and finally stops exploring his hand, instead interlacing her fingers with his.

“I’m glad imaginary me was at least believable,” she notes.

“Yeah, I’d like to think my imagination was pretty spot on,” he replies. “It was just… after a few years, it got hard to remember the tone of voice you’d use when you were annoyed at me, or the way you used to roll your eyes… I was afraid I’d forget you completely one day.”

He still remembers the absolute panic that had surged through him the day he’d been unable to recall the exact blue shade of her eyes. It had been Raven that handled that one, too, talking him down and promising that they wouldn’t let Clarke be forgotten… she really had been right about being the one to pick up the pieces.

“I know what you mean,” Clarke mumbles, her breath hot against his chest. “I drew… the one plus side of a burnt planet is there’s _a lot_ of charcoal. There were some empty notebooks in the lab that I brought with me when I left and then I tried to draw everyone I wanted to remember… I used the drawings when I told Madi stories about all of you.”

“So that’s how she recognized us when we landed,” he realizes.

“Yup, I’d turned you into a bedtime story with illustrations.” She sighs. “But there was so much I couldn’t put down on paper… different colors, all I had was shades of black and grey… and like you said, voices… there are things about them that I’ve forgotten, my dad’s favorite song, he used to hum it under his breath all the time but I can’t remember it… the shape of his eyes, Wells’ laugh, Finn’s jokes, Lexa’s intensity… it hurts, to know that a part of someone is lost forever because I can’t remember it.”

Bellamy feels a lump in his throat at the indirect reminder of all the people he himself has lost… his mom, he’s not even sure he can remember her face properly anymore… all the kids lost at the Dropship, Jasper, Gina… he used to hear her voice in his head sometimes, way before Praimfaya, when he did something he knew she’d disapprove of. _Really, Blake? You thought that was a good idea?_ But it’s been years now…

“They are still here, though,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. “They’ll always be with us, you know that.”

He hears her sniffle a little, then the wetness of tears as they seep into his shirt. He tightens the arm that’s already around her, pulling her impossibly closer, and buries his face in her hair, breathing her in. She turns her face into his neck, her fingers curling around his shirt, holding tight.

He has a moment’s warning by voices in the corridor outside the apartment before the door opens to reveal Raven, Jordan and Shaw right behind her. He can tell that she’s about to say something, probably something teasing, but she must notice the expression on his face – he knows there are tears in his eyes even if they haven’t escaped yet – or maybe the sound of Clarke’s ragged breathing, because in the end she doesn’t say anything, she just crosses the room and climbs onto the couch behind Clarke. He feels her arms sneak between them, so she can wrap both around Clarke’s waist, and she leans her chin on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Everyone OK here?” she asks quietly after a moment, and Clarke lets out a watery laugh.

“I guess things got a little emotional,” she notes before letting out a deep sigh. “But this is nice.” She lifts one hand from Bellamy’s shirt to wrap around Raven’s forearm where it’s resting against her stomach, but doesn’t move in any other way.

And, yeah. Bellamy wouldn’t mind staying just like this for however long he can get. Clarke’s story is still running through his mind, the images it invoked counteracted only by her warm presence next to him, a physical reminder that she’s really here with him.

That he never did lose her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: There we go, hope you liked it and if you did (or didn’t) – let me know! Comments and kudos are always appreciated :) Coming up in the next chapter our friends will finally be leaving the ship to start exploring this new planet!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I’ve thoroughly enjoyed writing these every-day scenes (I hope you guys have enjoyed reading them too!) but now it’s time to really move the plot forward – time to head down to this new planet and explore!  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100.

**-9-**

 

They receive no response to the radio calls the next day either, which they spend mostly lounging around, so the morning after, they all strap into the chairs in the control room on the transport ship.

“All systems clear,” Shaw notes, flipping a few switches.

“Taking off,” Raven replies, hand on a lever.

Their last time on the ship was such a rush, Clarke doesn’t really remember many particulars, just a general sense of horror at McCreary’s action and fear that they didn’t get away soon enough.

This time, she can… not enjoy the trip, exactly, but notice the little things. Like the expression on Raven’s face as she pilots the ship towards the blue-green surface of the planet, like a kid on Christmas. Or the way Jordan’s gripping the armrests of his chair so hard his knuckles turn white.

“Not a fan of flying so far?” she asks him gently, and he shakes his head vigorously.

“I like being stationary,” he says, voice shaky.

“Well, you’ve never really been stationary,” Raven contributes from the captain’s chair. “Even while the ship was back at Earth, we were in orbit around the planet, going around six or seven kilometers per second, and after that, you were traveling through space. That ship is just so large that you can’t tell it’s moving, kind of like a planet – everything moves. You just can’t feel it.”

“I prefer that, then,” Jordan replies tightly.

“This is the big exploration day,” Bellamy says from his spot next to Clarke. “If we’re able to cover enough ground, make sure nobody’s waiting to ambush us, we might not all have to go down again. You can probably stay behind on the ship next time if you want.”

“Good plan,” Jordan agrees, squeezing his eyes shut as Raven does something that makes the ship veer sharply to the left. Clarke reaches over to squeeze his arm comfortingly.

“Can you maybe take it a little easy, Raven?” she asks.

“Fine,” the brunette grumbles. “I’ll keep the loops to a minimum.”

Jordan pales at her words, and Clarke hurries to reassure him. “She’s just kidding.”

Soon enough, they touch down and Jordan finally relaxes.

“Right, easy part done,” Shaw notes, which earns a wide-eyed look from Jordan.

“The _easy_ part?”

“Nah, this was the hard part,” Bellamy says, wrapping a hand around Jordan’s upper arm to keep him steady when he wobbles a little after getting to his feet. “Now all we have to do is hope the atmosphere doesn’t kill us, not eat or drink anything, since we don’t know what’s poisonous down here… actually, not touch anything without gloves, since that could be dangerous too. Oh, and avoid deadly animals and potential descendants of Eligius Three who didn’t respond to our radio calls and instead decided to lay in wait for us and kill us on sight.”

Clare smacks him on the shoulder. “Don’t scare him like that!” she admonishes, but Bellamy just shrugs.

“Better scared than dead,” he says, which is true, she has to give him that. Still, it wouldn’t hurt him to be a _little_ less blunt about it.

“You’ll be fine,” she says, turning to Jordan. “You’ll be staying with the ship, you can close the door so you’ll be completely safe in here. You have a radio so you can reach us if you need to, and a gun if anything happens – which it won’t!”

Jordan nods, looking slightly less freaked out than a moment ago. “Yeah, OK.”

“You good, kid?” Raven asks, having finished shutting the system down.

“I’m good,” Jordan confirms, sounding a bit surer of himself.

“Then let’s get this done.” Raven reaches for a lever on the wall next to the door. “Opening door.”

Clarke holds her breath as the door slowly opens, knowing full well it won’t help if the atmosphere really isn’t suitable for human life. When the door finally clangs down onto the ground outside, she lets her breath out and pulls another one in.

It feels like breathing on Earth, and she doesn’t experience anything that might indicate some toxins in the air or anything like that.

“The air could be toxic,” she hears Bellamy mutter to himself as he takes a step towards the opening, and has to smile. He stops before he reaches the ramp, though. “You want to be the first one on the new planet, kid?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder. “Feels appropriate.”

It really does, so they let Jordan take his time. He hesitantly steps out onto the ramp, head swiveling from side to side as he takes in the surroundings that the rest of them can only see a small part of, and Clarke is reminded forcefully of Octavia stepping out of the dropship and onto Earth for the first time. _We’re back, bitches._ She wonders if Bellamy is thinking the same thing.

“It’s so green,” Jordan says in wonder, taking another step forward, and then another. He finally reaches the end of the ramp and pauses before taking a last, uncertain step forward onto the ground.

That’s apparently the signal the rest of them have been waiting for, and they all rush down the ramp and onto this new, strange planet.

“Wow…” Shaw says, spinning in a slow circle.

Clarke quietly seconds his wow, but she’s too busy trying to take in everything to speak at the moment.

At first glance, it’s like being back on Earth – they’ve landed in some type of meadow, surrounded by trees on all sides, and the ground is covered in green grass interspersed with tiny flowers in pink and purple. The sky is blue with white, fluffy clouds dotting it here and there, and the trees on the edges of the open area look pretty normal… But at a closer look, the differences become apparent – the first, and most obvious one, the second, weaker sun in the sky. Apart from that, the colors seem just a little sharper, the grass greener, the sky bluer, the flowers almost violent shades of pink and purple… the trees do have brown trunks but their leaves are bright green, turquoise, and orange – the last one might just mean that they’ve arrived during this planet’s fall, even if the temperature is most like a warm summer’s day on Earth, but turquoise leaves are definitely new.

Clarke’s positive that they’ll find more differences as they explore, and she’s not sure if that thought is frightening or exhilarating. Probably a little bit of both.

“OK, let’s see where we are,” Raven says and Clarke turns to find her sitting on the ground, spreading her home made map out in front of her. She checks her tablet and puts an X on the piece of paper. “This is us. We landed pretty much where I intended, in the middle of the area we tested the other day.”

They all gather around her, trying to make sense of the map as Raven glances at her tablet again before turning the map 90 degrees to the right.

“That’s north,” she finally concludes, pointing to their left. “The higher readings of humidity in the ground were to the west, so that’s behind us. We should probably start in that direction.”

Bellamy turns around to check the terrain, and Clarke follows suit. They can’t really see much beyond the tree line, though.

“We’ll head that way, you guys start in the opposite direction?” he suggests, giving Raven a glance over his shoulder.

“Sounds good,” she agrees, folding the map back up. “And remember, walk for ten minutes, take a 90 degree turn, walk for another minute and turn back the way you came. We’ll meet here for a quick debrief and then we’ll head out again. Repeat as needed.”

Clarke rolls her eyes – Raven’s already gone through these instructions at least ten times. “We know.”

“Everybody got a radio? Gloves? Stuff to collect samples in?” Raven asks for the third time since they boarded the transport ship. Bellamy and Clarke hold theirs up, gloves already on.

“This is not our first rodeo, Reyes,” Bellamy notes drily.

“Well, considering you both have a horrible track record when it comes to sticking to a plan and not getting sidetracked and, as a result, hurt or worse, I thought I’d double check.”

She has a point, of course, but they still exchange an amused look as they turn away in their designated direction.

“Back in a bit, Jordan,” Clarke calls over her shoulder before they enter the trees at the edge of the clearing. He gives her a salute before retreating to the ramp into the ship and taking a seat on it. She half expected him to really close himself up inside the ship, especially after Bellamy’s little speech, and she’s glad he doesn’t.

“First observation,” she says as she has to duck under a branch with bright blue leaves. “Blue trees.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy agrees, tilting his head back to examine the canopy a little better. “You want to get a sample of those to analyze?”

“Sure.”

He reaches up to pull one of the branches with blue leaves down so she can reach it easier, careful not to let it touch any bare skin, and she plucks one leaf off the tree, placing it in the large bag they’ve brought for collecting plant samples.

“Apart from that…” Bellamy picks the conversation up again as they continue walking. “Bright colors, but basically a lot like Earth.”

“You realize you’ve just pushed our luck, right?” Clarke notes. “Now we’re going to get attacked by some fifteen foot high, three-headed monster with scales and wings.”

“And bright blue,” he adds with a chuckle.

“I thought that went without saying.”

“Hey, this tree has nuts, I think. Or something similar, at least.”

Clarke looks up at the tree he’s indicating, and there are indeed some sort of nuts or fruit hanging from the branches. They’re easy to reach, too, so if they’re edible they’d be a good food source.

Bellamy has already picked a couple of the nuts and she holds the bag open for him to drop them in.

They’ve made a rough plan for the next couple of weeks for exploring an area that stretches five miles in every direction of their chosen settlement spot, to get as thorough an understanding of the place as possible and hopefully avoid unpleasant surprises once they bring the rest of their people down to start the actual colonization. Today, they’re focusing on the immediate area, getting as many samples as they can of berries, fruits and other sources of nutrition. These will then be run through the analyzer on the ship, so that Jordan and, maybe, Abby, once they wake her up, can go through the results and figure out what they can eat. They’re hoping to find water as well – Clarke has a couple of empty bottles in her bag for water samples – and maybe spot some animals that can provide meet in the long run.

At the moment, though, they’re making pretty slow progress since they’re both mesmerized by the new environment.

“This is pretty and all,” Clarke finally says when they’ve wandered through the trees for a few minutes. “But we need to get a move on if we want to find more samples and maybe the water Raven thinks is in this direction before we have to turn back.”

Bellamy lets go of a branch with green leaves and bright orange flowers of some kind – Clarke thinks they kind of look like apple blossoms, except for the color, so hopefully they’ll have this planet’s version of apples to eat at some point – and nods his agreement.

“It looks like the trees open up a little up there,” he says, nodding ahead of them to a spot where the sunlight is brighter. “Come on.”

They emerge from the trees and Clarke stops dead in her tracks when the whole scene unfolds in front of her.

“Oh my God.”

At first, she thinks the grass here is white for some reason, but then she realizes that the ground is so full of flowers that they completely cover the green underneath. It’s absolutely breathtaking.

“Wow,” Bellamy mumbles next to her.

They’ve clearly reached the edge of the small wooded area, and the flowers stretch out in front of them as far as they can see. To the left and right of them, the ground starts sloping upwards gently maybe half a mile away, putting them in what is essentially a wide, shallow valley. Ahead of them, the flower-covered ground slopes away until it disappears completely, and even further ahead, it rises again, transformed to a rocky landscape that continues to the horizon.

“One of those hills might be a better spot for a settlement,” Bellamy notes after a moment, eyes intent on the one to their right. “Good vantage point, you must be able to see for miles up there. And we could have farms down here in the valley, it seems like a good spot for growing things.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agrees, turning her head left and then right. “Come on, we still have another five minutes or so before we need to turn back.”

They continue straight ahead, in a continuous downward slope. There’s not much to collect samples from here, no trees or bushes with potential food, just the millions of tiny white flowers under their feet, which Clarke supposes could be good for something, but right now they’re focusing on food sources.

After a few minutes, Bellamy pauses next to her, and Clarke stops as well, turning to face him.

“What?” she asks when she sees the slight frown on his face.

“I think… there’s something glittering further ahead, could be water,” he says, squinting a little as if that will make it easier to see.

“Well, come on. Might as well keep going until we reach it so we can get a sample.”

They pick up the pace a little and soon enough it’s clear that there’s a decent size lake some ways away. They haven’t reached it when their ten minutes are up, though, and Clarke grabs the radio from her belt.

“Raven, come in,” she says as she pushes the button to transmit.

_“What did you do? And do you need help?”_ comes Raven’s voice crackling through the speaker, and Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Who says we did anything?” she replies. “We found a lake, or what looks like a lake, but it’s probably, what, five minutes away?” She glances at Bellamy, who nods to indicate he agrees with her estimation.

_“Well, we need water, so we’ve got to test it as soon as possible,”_ Raven says. _“Keep going, we will too, and radio when you’re turning around.”_

“OK, will do.” Clarke pauses. “Did you catch that, Jordan?”

The radio is quiet for a moment before Jordan’s voice comes through.

_“Got it, thanks for the update.”_

Clarke clicks the radio back on her belt and they take off again.

The ground is still sloping downwards, towards the lake, but by the time they reach the edge of the water – it only took them three minutes, so they have a few minutes to spare – they’re both out of breath and sweaty.

“I know we have to analyze the water before we even think about it, but damn, I really want to go for a swim and cool off,” Bellamy says as he sits down a few feet from the water’s edge.

Clarke fills one of the sample bottles with water, careful not to submerge her hand, and takes in the lake in front of them – it’s probably at least half a mile across and she can’t see the shore to her left or right. She does think there might be a stream feeding it coming down the hill to the north, but it’s too far away for her to be certain – before she sits down next to him, putting the sample securely in her bag and zipping it up so they won’t accidentally drink from it. When she straightens up, Bellamy hands her one of the bottles of water that they brought from the ship, and she takes a long drink before she replies.

“That sounds like heaven,” she agrees. “Maybe next time, when we know we won’t die in agony or grow extra limbs or something.”

“Well, extra limbs might not be such a bad thing,” he jokes.

“I like my limbs fine just the way they are, thanks,” Clarke replies. _And yours too,_ she adds quietly.

“Yeah, I guess it’s not worth the risk,” he agrees, leaning back, closing his eyes and tilting his face up against the sun – suns. That’s going to take some getting used to.

Clarke mirrors his position, but tilts her head to the side a little so she can watch him. The sunlight plays across his features, highlighting his freckles and making his skin glow. He’s practically radiating peace, and Clarke prays to whatever higher power watching over this planet that it will remain.

Only a moment or so later, Bellamy sighs and opens his eyes before turning to face her.

“Think we should head back?” he suggests.

“Probably,” she agrees grudgingly.

He pushes himself to his feet and then holds out a hand for her, pulling her up when she takes it. They turn back in the direction they came from but Clarke hesitates.

“I don’t know if we need to do the whole one minute to one side,” she says. “We can see all the way to the hills on either side, they have to be about a mile apart… there’s nothing in this valley but the flowers.”

“Yeah, I agree,” he replies. “Let’s head back to the ship, then we can explore the wooded area closest to the landing spot while Raven and Shaw continue in the other direction, depending on what they’ve found so far. Or we can head south or north.”

“Good plan,” Clarke agrees with a nod, bringing the radio back to her mouth. “Raven? We’re heading back now.”

_“Copy that,”_ Raven says after a moment.

The trek back to the ship is a little more tiring, since they’re moving slightly uphill the entire way, even if it’s not a steep slope. When they enter the wooded area again, Bellamy suddenly stops in his tracks.

“What?” Clarke asks, trying to figure out what gave him pause, her immediate thought that he’s spotted someone or something dangerous.

“Listen,” he says, tilting his head back to survey the dense leaves above them.

It takes her a moment, but then… “Birds!”

“Yeah.” Bellamy nods enthusiastically. “I didn’t even notice that there wasn’t any birdsong earlier… we must have scared them off when we landed, but now they’re back.”

The knowledge that if nothing else there are still birds – or whatever this planet’s equivalent might be – gives them new energy and they hurry back towards the ship. Still, Raven and Shaw are already back, sitting with Jordan on the ramp.

“Took you long enough,” Raven calls when they emerge from the trees, and Clarke sticks her tongue out, even if Raven probably can’t see it from that distance.

“For your information, the ground that way slopes down continuously until you reach the lake,” Bellamy tells her, slumping down next to Shaw. “You try going uphill nonstop for fifteen minutes, see how you like it.”

“What was the lake like?” Shaw asks. “Big?”

“Pretty big, yeah,” Clarke confirms, stopping in front of the other four. “We didn’t see any movement, but there could be fish in there. Oh, and there are birds, we heard them just now.”

“Yeah, so did we on our way back,” Raven says.

“The trees continue for a couple of minutes,” Bellamy takes over. “Then there’s a sort of open valley, maybe a mile across, with hills on either side. All flat, nothing but grass and flowers, so I don’t think we need to explore that part more. But we were thinking one of the hills might be good for a settlement, get a bit higher, better vantage point.”

“And with the lake close by we might be able to rig up some sort of water system,” Raven muses. “Good thinking.”

“It looked like there was a stream or small river flowing into the lake from the hill to the north,” Clarke says. “So that one might be the best option.”

“I missed that,” Bellamy says, eyebrows raised.

“I saw it when I was filling the bottle,” she replies. “Which reminds me…” She takes the bottle out of the bag, steps over Raven’s outstretched legs and puts the bottle down on a desk just inside the door to the ship.

“Don’t want to accidentally drink that,” Raven notes as she comes back out.

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“So what’s happening in the other direction?” Bellamy asks, and Raven and Shaw launch into a description of the environment to the east of their landing spot – apparently the woods stretch further in that direction, they didn’t reach the end before turning back. They’ve found more nuts that look like the ones Clarke bagged earlier, a couple of different types of fruit – one that looks kind of like yellow cherries and another that can be best described as a purple, fuzzy lemon – that they’ve collected for analysis.

After some more water, and assurance from Jordan that he’s fine staying at the ship, the other four set off again. By the time they call it a day and get back on the ship, they’ve collected more fruit and nuts, some berries that Clarke and Bellamy found in the woods to the west of the ship, and Shaw swears he saw something that looked like a pig, but Raven insists it was just underbrush.

All in all, Clarke thinks they’ve had a good first day exploring this new planet, and feels vaguely optimistic that this might actually work.

It’s a feeling she’s not really used to, and she doesn’t want to push their luck by voicing it to the others.

Still, it settles like a warmth in her stomach when they all collapse in the living area of the apartment when they get back to the ship, Raven picking some mindless action movie on the TV.

And it doesn’t have anything to do with Bellamy’s thigh pressed against hers, since she’s squeezed in between him and Raven, and his arm thrown over the back of the couch, now and then brushing against her neck or shoulders.

Nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, there we go – they’ve reached the new planet. More exploring coming up, but let me know what you thought of this one, comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, we’re picking up the pace a little – I honestly hadn’t planned on the part on the ship to go on for as long as it did, but once I started writing, it sort of just happened! I enjoyed writing the last chapter, exploring this new planet with them, but I want to get to the good parts ;) so this chapter will start with a tiiiny time jump – nothing like on the show, of course!  
> Thanks to everyone who’s left kudos and comments, it always makes my day when I get a new one in my inbox!  
> As always, I don’t own anything related to The 100

**-10-**

 

The next two weeks go by in a flurry of activity and long stretches of downtime.

They decide to take one day to explore down on the ground and then use the next one to run all their samples through the analyzer and get some rest, since, as Raven puts it, they aren’t doing mankind any favors if they pass out from exhaustion because they spend twelve hours every day on the new planet. Better to take their time, they have enough rations for a while and the people in cryo aren’t exactly going anywhere. Bellamy’s quietly relieved since it will give him a little more time before he has to actually deal with the rest of his life. And if it means getting to spend more time with Clarke, well, that’s just a bonus.

They start by really mapping out the area around the north hill, which they’ve decided is the best place for their eventual settlement. There’s a large, mostly flat area on top of the hill, about two or three miles long and a mile or so wide, which will work good for building without them being too cramped, and just like Clarke thought, a stream cuts through the ground on the side closest to the lake below. It doesn’t have any tributary, but seems to be the result of rainwater gathering in a pool at the highest point of the hill and then making its way down the slopes towards the lake.

The only thing that Bellamy’s a little worried about is that there’s not a lot of trees up on the hill, so they’ll have to cut down trees in the wooded area below and then move the timber up the slope for construction. Raven says that there’s equipment on the ship that they can use for this, though, which means they won’t have to lug it by hand, at least, so the plans stand for now.

To the west is the lake, which stretches on seemingly without end to the north and south. It’s possible it’s just a really wide and fairly deep river and not a lake at all, but it doesn’t really make a difference – they have spotted fish in there, and the shore where he and Clarke took a break their first day should be good for swimming during the warmer months. The current doesn’t seem too bad, so hopefully they won’t have to worry about it being dangerous. The area beyond the lake is rocky, cliffs stretching twenty-five, thirty feet into the air in some places, and they quickly rule it out as an option for anything beyond hunting and possibly quarrying for stone, if they find they need it while building the settlement. That area’s inhabited by something resembling goats, apart from the fact that they walk on their back legs and have sharp, finger-like appendages on their front legs (Bellamy refuses to call them arms on principle – they’re animals, damn it) that they use to climb seemingly sheer rock faces. They keep their distance from the explorers, but Bellamy hopes it might still be possible to domesticate them eventually, to get milk and wool – their furs look just like pictures of sheep he’s seen in old books.

To the north of the hill, there’s woods and open areas stretching along the lake, as far as they can see, interspersed with smaller bodies of water. They explore as far as they can during one day, not wanting to set up camp out in the open just yet, and find more potential food – fruit, berries and mushrooms – that they bag for analysis. They also find more animals here, a pack of what looks sort of like wolves or large dogs, but with longer legs and what seems to be dark blue feathers instead of fur. They don’t get close enough to see much details, the animals seem to be apprehensive about the newcomers, but it’s good to know for the future – Shaw suggests that they might be able to domesticate a couple and maybe use them for tracking or hunting, or as guard dogs if need be, though they haven’t come across any sign of human life so far.

They take a closer look at the valley as well, but just like Bellamy thought, there’s not much there. They take soil samples, to see if it’s a suitable place for farming, and then climb the hill to the south. The land stretching beyond it is the same as the area north of the other hill, so they decide against exploring it further at the moment. They can see far enough to tell that there aren’t any types of settlements, at least.

The area around where they landed seems to have a lot of potential. There’s obviously trees, for building, and as they explore, the animals they scared off when they first landed slowly reappear. Unlike the sort of dogs and goats to the north and west, these don’t seem afraid of humans at all, a possible sign that they’re the first ones here. There are large, deer-like animals with red, silky fur that they actually get close enough to that they can pet, something resembling rabbits but twice as large and with nasty looking claws, small pigs or boars with green fur that almost glitters in the sun but works as good camouflage in the underbrush – _“_ See, I _told_ you I saw a pig _,”_ Shaw exclaims the first time they spot one when all of them are together, earning a grumble from Raven “How was I supposed to know it was green?” – and a large, cat-like creature that Clarke claims looks just like a lynx. That one’s ruled out as food pretty quickly though, as it takes a liking to Clarke immediately and starts meeting them at the ship every time they land and then accompanying them on their explorations, rubbing its head against them and making a low, purring noise when they pet it.

“I guess we got ourselves a cat,” Raven notes the third time the animal is waiting for them when they leave the ship and immediately bounds up to Clarke so she can scratch its head, a low, rumbling purr filling the air.

“Could be good for keeping smaller animals away from the settlement,” Bellamy reasons. “There’s bound to be things similar to mice and rats even if we haven’t come across them yet. Don’t want them getting into the food stores when we eventually have those.”

“You just don’t want to be the one to tell her that her pet should be food,” Raven teases with a smirk, and Bellamy rolls his eyes.

“There are plenty of animals around, we don’t have to eat _that_ particular one,” he grumbles. “Besides, you like it too, don’t even try to deny it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says dismissively, but Bellamy doesn’t miss the fact that she lets the animal use her leg as a pillow when they take a break later in the day and absentmindedly scratches it behind the ears as she talks to Jordan and Shaw about the possible fruit trees they’ve just found. Bellamy sends her a knowing smirk, but she just rolls her eyes at him.

They only get brief glimpses of various birds during their explorations, flashes of color disappearing among the trees or zipping across the sky above them. What they do see reminds Bellamy of images in a book they used back in school on the Ark, about the Amazon and the rainforests on Earth before the nuclear apocalypse – the plumages are all in bright colors it seems, from blue and green to pink and red, and they range in size from tiny ones, smaller than his closed fist, to large ones with wingspans of several feet.

The last area they explore is to the east of their original landing spot, further than Raven and Shaw went on their first day on the planet, but when they reach the end of the woods, all they find are flat, empty plains – not quite a desert, but with very little vegetation. They stretch on as far as they can see in three directions, no signs of animals or humans anywhere.

“I think we can skip this part,” Raven notes, scanning the horizon. “We have enough arable land in the valley for now, and if we need to expand we can go north or south across the hills, or use some of the wooded areas between here and the lake.”

“We did it,” Clarke says quietly. “We’ve really explored everything we need… we’re done.” The cat, which she’s decided to call Lynx – _I suck at naming things, OK_ – seems to detect something in her voice and rubs its head against her hand.

Bellamy feels a sort of sinking in his stomach that he knows is stupid – this was the plan all along, explore enough to be sure they could wake everyone else up and bring them down here. They’ve done that – they have a plan for a settlement, Clarke has even made a rough sketch of the area with cabins for living, a mess hall for eating and meetings, smoke houses, kitchens, a med bay, a workshop for Raven, Shaw and Jordan… They’ve reached their goal, or at least the first one, the one they can manage just the five of them. He knew this little bubble wouldn’t last forever, but the last few weeks have been… possibly the best time of his life, which… he’s not going to analyze that further at the moment.

“We still need to figure out if any of the food we’ve analyzed is edible,” he says, grasping at straws to make this last just a little longer. “I say we head back up to the ship, get a good night’s sleep and then wake your mom tomorrow, let her go through the analyses.”

They’ve agreed to wake Abby up before the rest, both so she can help them get a handle on the food situation, and so she can advise them on what to do with the injured people in cryo. Clarke’s certain that Kane will need further surgery, but she’s not sure about Murphy or Gaia.

“Sounds like a plan,” Jordan agrees excitedly. He’s been going through the analyses of the potential food sources so far, but doesn’t feel comfortable saying a definite yes or no as to whether they are actually OK to eat – even though everything seems fine so far – so Abby will be their second opinion.

They trudge back through the woods, Jordan taking the lead with Raven and Shaw a few steps behind. Clarke is trailing a little, so Bellamy waits for her and Lynx to catch up.

“You OK?” he asks when she’s next to him.

She shrugs, burying her fingers in Lynx’ fur and keeping her eyes on the ground in front of them.

“I just can’t believe we did it, you know,” she says after a moment, but there’s still something off in her voice. “I think I kept expecting something to go wrong, some sort of obstacle along the way…”

“I thought I was the one keeping our expectations low?” he counters with a chuckle. “You were the one going _oh, we’re due some luck by now_.”

“I do not sound like that,” Clarke complains, giving him an annoyed look out of the corner of her eye. “But doesn’t it seem too easy to you?”

He shrugs. “Maybe, but we still don’t know if any of the food we’ve gathered is actually edible. Your mom might wake up and tell us it’s all poisonous and then we’ll be back at square one.”

“Doubtful, I trust Jordan’s opinion on that even if he doesn’t. But thanks for _not_ trying to make me feel better.”

“You want reassurance, talk to Jordan,” Bellamy tells her – the kid really is an endless source of optimism and excitement, to the point where it’s almost overwhelming at times.

“Not right now, thanks.”

They continue in silence for a while, the only sound their footsteps against the ground, the occasional snapping of a twig, birds in the distance and their friends’ voices up ahead.

“This has been nice,” Clarke says eventually, a wistful note in her voice.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific,” Bellamy replies.

She tries to elbow him in the ribs, but he deftly side-steps out of her reach.

“Just… it’s felt a little like the first few days on Earth,” she continues. “Minus the Grounder attacks and the acid fog and the killer water snakes, but… the feeling is the same. New planet, new possibilities… And, you know I love Madi, but it’s been kind of nice to not have to worry about her for a little while.”

“Yeah, now we just need to worry about the future of the human race, no big deal.”

This time she does catch him in the ribs with her elbow, and to avoid further violence, Bellamy catches her arm and hooks his own through it. It’s definitely not because he wants to feel the warmth from her body against his side.

“No, I know what you mean,” he says. “On the Ring… I mean, it was horrible at first – we thought you were dead, the rest of our friends were either also dead or buried in a bunker underground for the next five years, the Earth was a fiery inferno below us, and we were stuck in a metal can we weren’t even sure could keep us alive for five years – but at the same time, for the first time since we were sent to the Ground, maybe even longer, I didn’t really have any responsibilities. Sure, keep everyone up there alive, but honestly, Raven and Monty basically took care of that part, there wasn’t much I could do… so I get it.”

Silence stretches between them again.

“Also, it’s been nice… it being just us,” Clarke then continues, voice small, and he feels his heart stutter a little as she puts words to the feelings he was trying to push down earlier. “I mean, I miss Madi and my mom and all, but… I’ve enjoyed spending time with just you.”

He desperately wants to ask if that’s a singular or plural _you_ , but he reigns himself in. “Me too,” he replies instead.

“I’ll miss it,” she mumbles, low enough that he just barely hears her, and maybe she didn’t mean him to.

“Hey,” he says, stopping and pulling her around to face him. “You think you’re getting rid of me, of us, that easily? We’ll still hang out, just us.”

“I just meant that there will be a lot more people, and we’ll all be busy,” she reasons, avoiding his eyes. “Building a new society, it’s going to be a lot of work.”

“So is exploring a new planet,” Bellamy argues, and she shrugs. “OK, let’s make a deal – no matter how busy we are, we always have breakfast together, OK?”

Clarke lets out a deep sigh but meets his gaze, a smile on her lips that doesn’t extend all the way to her eyes. “OK.”

He considers pushing the subject, but she pulls her arm out of his grasp and continues their trek back toward the ship, and he has to hurry to keep up.

-100-

Raven and Shaw found a storage room full of tents during one of their explorations of the ship – Bellamy’s not entirely sure why a ship for mining in space would _need_ tents, he seriously doubts they were camping on the asteroids – so they unload and set those up before they get back into the transport ship, to avoid having to do that when they bring the others down. The weather’s been mild so far, no rain or strong winds, and hopefully it won’t change too much in the next few days. There are only twenty three tents, but they figure if people double up, there’s enough space on the transport ship for the rest, while they get started on construction.

They won’t be able to bring everything they would want from the main ship, especially not the larger furniture – Bellamy already misses his bed, he’s gotten used to the wonderfully soft mattress, and the foldable cots from the prisoners’ living area that they’ll be using until they’ll be able to build new furniture just won’t be the same – but they’ve already packed up what they’ll be taking down for now, so it’s ready to be loaded onto the transport ship.

“There’s one more thing I want to do before we head back up to the ship,” Raven says as they all strap into their chairs, turning to Jordan. “You OK taking this thing for a bit of a spin, kid?”

He rolls his eyes good naturedly – despite having had the option to stay behind up on the main ship, he’s chosen to go with the other four down to the planet over the last few weeks. “It’s fine, I’m way over my initial fear of flying,” he assures her, and Raven grins.

“OK, then hold onto your seats people, we’re off.”

Instead of taking them straight up, towards the main ship, she flies them in widening circles, low enough that they can make out most things on the ground.

“I figured we’d do a bit of a sweep for human habitation,” she explains.

They haven’t come across any signs that there are other humans on the planet so far, and still haven’t received a response to their radio calls, which Raven has left running, so this seems like a good call.

They fly over areas similar to the one they’ve chosen for their settlement, over large forests and winding rivers, and, eventually, mountains and deep ravines. They come across snow-capped peaks and huge deserts, herds of what look like buffalo roaming wide plains and finally blue-green waves crashing against rocky beaches.

And not one single sign of other people.

The feeling on the ship as they return is a little subdued. Personally, Bellamy has been hoping they won’t find any other humans on this new planet – he doesn’t think it would work out any better than it did on Earth, so he figures it will be better if they don’t even have to try. But he can see how it would have simplified things if there was already an established society with technology, for instance. Now they’re basically back where they were on Earth, with whatever they can salvage and use from the ships their only advantage to the cavemen from millennia ago.

Still, he prefers it this way.

They dock with the main ship and unload the last of the samples in the bridge, where Raven starts organizing them for analysis. It’s long since established that she and Shaw handle that part, while the other three keep an eye on the algae farm and keep the apartment and rec room in order, which basically means they watch a lot of TV and play a lot of pool and board games. The first day of downtime after an exploration trip to the ground, Jordan decided to see if the pair needed any help with analyzing the samples, but he quickly returned to the rec room where Bellamy and Clarke were playing Clue, a deep blush on his face and muttering about how they definitely didn’t need his help with _that_.

So, yeah, they’ve figured out that _analyzing the collected samples_ is code for getting it on in the bridge while the analyzer does all the work, and since then the other three have stayed well away from that part of the ship during their free time.

“We’ll run the last of these, make sure we have all the results for Abby in the morning,” Raven says as she and Shaw exchange a look.

“Sounds good, see you later,” Clarke replies, her voice void of the teasing tone she usually takes with Raven in this type of situation, to tell the mechanic that she’s not fooling anyone, and the three of them leave the bridge.

They walk in silence for a while, until Jordan pauses at the hallway that leads to the algae farm.

“I think I’ll go water the plants,” he says. “We still don’t know for sure that the stuff down there is edible, might as well make sure the algae will be good if we need it.”

“Do you want some help?” Clarke asks. “Or just company?”

The kid gives them a brief smile. “I’m good, you go ahead and relax, it’s been a long day.”

Clarke seems to pick up on the same thing Bellamy does – that Jordan wants to be alone. He’s been spending quite a lot of time in the farm, even refusing help the last couple of days, and Bellamy thinks that maybe that’s where he feels closest to his dad. He’s not about to take that away from him.

Bellamy and Clarke continue through the winding corridors, not stopping in the rec room like they do on most of their days off, and finally reach the apartment.

“Do you want to watch some TV?” Bellamy asks as he closes the door behind them. That’s their usual go-to when they’re winding down after a long day of exploring – either a couple of episodes of _Friends_ if they’re all there, some soccer game, if it’s just the two of them and Clarke gets to pick from the archive, or a documentary or quiz show, if it’s his turn.

But this time, Clarke shakes her head, her back towards him.

“I’m pretty tired, I think I’m going to take a nap before dinner,” she says, voice low. “Like Jordan said, it’s been a long day.”

It’s true, of course. But they’ve had long days before, longer than this one even, and they always wind down together, so there must be something else.

“You sure?” he pushes a little, and finally she turns to him.

“I’m sure. Maybe later,” she allows, giving him a small smile that he doesn’t buy. But she’s clearly not in the mood to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering her, so he’ll just have to give her some space. For now.

“OK. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, I will.” She squeezes his hand briefly before disappearing into her bedroom and closing the door behind her, the click loud in the quiet room.

Bellamy can’t help but feel like she’s already pulling away from him, and the feeling makes a heavy weight settle in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, initial exploration done, next chapter will be The Great Awakening, part 1! Did I take the easy way out, making the planet uninhabited? I just want them to get to live for a change, without having to fight for survival… As usual, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys – updating a day early this week, since I won’t have time tomorrow. Also, I’ve had a crap day with stupid clients, so I needed a distraction!  
> Time for a bit of insight into Clarke’s thoughts from the last chapter and, of course – waking the others up! Hope you like it  
> As usual, I don’t own anything related to The 100

**-11-**

 

Clarke closes the bedroom door behind her and lets her head fall back against it. Ever since she realized that they’ve finished their exploration of the new planet and are ready for the next step – to wake everyone else up and get down there to actually _live_ – there’s been a weight in her stomach.

She knew this day was coming, and it’s good that it has, it means that they’ve done what they were supposed to, what Monty trusted them to do. Still… the last couple of weeks, she’s been able to almost fool herself that things are the way they used to be, before Praimfaya, before she spent six years with Madi as her only company on Earth and Bellamy spent six years in space. That it’s the two of them against the world, like when they came up against the Grounders, the Mountain Men and even ALIE. Even with Raven, Shaw and Jordan, she and Bellamy have formed a unit of their own, always pairing up when they’ve split up for exploring, heckling old quiz shows from the archives, or just enjoying the silence together when they had a chance.

But that’s not how it’ll be when everyone else is awake, Clarke knows that, so she needs to take a step back. Maybe she should have avoided getting this close to him from the beginning, prepared herself for what life will be like going forward, but she’s been weak… and now she’ll pay the price, because she knows it’ll be even harder to let go of him now that she’s had a taste of what it’s like to have his (more or less) undivided attention.

She stays in her bedroom until Raven knocks on the door to tell her it’s time for dinner.

“You OK?” the mechanic asks as Clarke passes her, glancing at Bellamy who looked up from his conversation with Shaw when the door opened.

“Fine,” Clarke assures her with a smile and Raven seems appeased, at least for the moment.

Clarke makes sure to sit between Raven and Jordan at the table when they eat, keeping her eyes on the algae bar in her hands to avoid Bellamy’s probing gaze, and while she stays out in the living area with the others, watching some old movie, the rest of the evening, she claims an armchair, leaving Raven and Shaw to share the couch with Bellamy. Now and then, she catches him glancing at her, but she quickly looks away before he can say anything.

She goes to bed early, but for the first time since they woke up from cryo, she can’t sleep.

-100-

They wake up her mom from cryo the next morning. The tentative plan is to have her go through the analyses of their samples and then she and Clarke will decide how to move forward with Murphy, Gaia and Kane. Clarke’s hoping that the only one who will need further surgery is Marcus, but Abby will know better. Ideally, they don’t want to leave anyone behind on the ship when they start actually moving down to the surface, but Abby will have the final say on that one. It might be necessary to let Marcus recover up here and not try to move him until he’s had some time to heal from the surgery.

They’ve all had some time to get used to the situation, to work through the loss of Monty and Harper, so explaining everything to Abby isn’t as bad as finding out themselves. They do it together, like they did with Raven and Shaw, but after they’ve gone through everything they know – which is more now, after their weeks of exploration – the other four leave the bridge, so Clarke and her mom are alone.

“I can’t believe it,” Abby says after a long, quiet moment. “It’s… it’s just…”

“Kind of crazy, I know,” Clarke finishes the sentence. “Trust me. But this is what we have to work with right now.”

“And there are no traces of other people down there?”

Clarke shakes her head. “Raven flew us over the whole continent where we’re planning on settling yesterday, and as far as we can tell, there’s nothing. Even if they built under the trees, there should still be farms or larger structures out in the open _somewhere_. Of course, it’s possible that the other Eligius ship did get here and are just settled somewhere else on the planet, but… we’ve decided not to explore more. Maybe once we’re settled.”

“That sounds smart. Now, you said you’ve been analyzing water and food from the planet?” Abby asks, reverting to problem solving mode.

“We have,” Clarke confirms, grabbing the folder with all the analyses. There are quite a few, since they’ve analyzed every type of nutrient source they’ve come across. “Water, berries, fruit, nuts, mushrooms… we haven’t caught any animals or fish, but we’ll probably need to test those before we eat them as well, just to be on the safe side. Raven says we can move the analyzer to the transport ship, take it with us, so that’s good.”

“Yeah, good,” Abby agrees distractedly as she flips through the pages of information. “So tell me about this planet, what’s it like down there?”

“It’s…” Clarke has to think for a moment before she can formulate a response. “It’s a lot like Earth, in many ways, but there’s also a lot of differences, even if most of them are small.”

“Yeah?”

“I think the biggest thing – apart from the two suns, of course – is the colors, there are a lot more colors in nature, and brighter too. Blue leaves and red deer… it’s amazing.”

“And you said that there are animals that might be good for meat?” Abby asks, looking up from the papers.

Clarke nods. “There are deer, like I said, and some sort of boars or pigs, and rabbits, though we’ll have to be careful with those, they have really sharp claws and probably teeth… and there are some kind of wild dogs to the north, but I’m not sure if they’re good to eat. Shaw was talking about maybe using them for tracking or hunting or something, though. And goats we might be able to domesticate, for the milk. A lot of birds, though we haven’t been able to get a closer look at those. We could probably hunt them if we really needed to.”

“And your cat,” Abby adds with a smile.

“It’s not _my_ cat,” Clarke replies, rolling her eyes. “It’s just been following us around, and it’s nice company.”

“You gave it a _name_.”

Clarke lets out a groan. “You sound like Bellamy. It’s just a cat that likes to hang around us. It might be useful at some point, maybe good for hunting or something.”

“Huh.” Abby turns her attention back to the papers. “And how is Bellamy?”

“Mom,” Clarke says in a warning tone. “Leave it alone, please, I already have Raven to deal with, I don’t need you on my back too.”

“You know all I want is for you to be happy, honey,” Abby says with a frown.

“Yeah, well, he’s not available for me to be happy _with_ , so please let it go.”

“Clarke…”

“What do the analyses say, is there anything on that planet we can eat?” Clarke cuts her off before she can get any further.

Abby scrutinizes her for a moment, but apparently decides to not push.

“None of these are poisonous in any way, so we should be fine. The water’s perfectly drinkable and the fruits and berries seem to be high in various vitamins, which will be good.”

“Great, so now we just have to decide what to do about Kane, and possibly Murphy and Gaia, if you think they need surgery again, and then maybe we can start waking people up and getting on with this colonization thing.”

In the end, they decide to wake Kane from cryo and operate, and then go from there. If the surgery doesn’t go as well as they hope, he’ll have to go back into cryo and stay on the ship, in which case Abby will stay with him, and then they’ll attempt another surgery when he’s stable enough, but that’s the worst case scenario.

They wake Jackson first, so they have all hands on deck, and then it’s ten hours of surgery by the end of which Clarke doesn’t know what’s up and down. But they did it, Kane’s sleeping more or less peacefully, with the aid of some heavy painkillers, but still. He won’t need any further surgery unless there are unexpected complications, and can be moved to the transport ship when the time comes.

The last thing Clarke remembers is slumping down in a hard plastic chair in the med bay, but when she wakes up, she’s in her bed. The door out to the apartment is open a crack, and she can hear Raven’s voice floating through it.

Rubbing her eyes, she pushes herself off the bed. She’s wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tank top that she was _definitely_ not wearing during the surgery. Another mystery.

She’s not awake enough to attempt to change into something else, so she just splashes some water on her face, tries to do something about her hair, and then leaves the room.

Raven and Bellamy are in the lounge, Bellamy in his usual spot on the couch and Raven in one of the armchairs. They both turn when they hear her enter the room.

“Morning,” Raven greets. “Sleep OK?”

“I’m not sure unconsciousness counts as sleep, but fine, I guess,” Clarke replies, crossing the room and flopping down in the empty armchair. “What time is it?”

“About ten thirty, you’ve been out for almost twelve hours” Bellamy replies, his eyebrows furrowing as he takes her in. “You look tired.”

Clarke shrugs, breaking eye contact and focusing on the cuticle on her left thumb. “I didn’t sleep that well last night, and then the surgery… I’ll be fine. Shouldn’t we be preparing the great awakening though? I thought we decided we wanted everyone on the ground by sunset today?”

“Shouldn’t it be suns-set? Or sunsets?” Raven muses. “There are two of them.”

“They set separately,” Bellamy reasons. “So I’d say sunsets. And we are, actually.” He turns back to Clarke. “Well, not _us_ , specifically, we wanted to catch you up on everything when you woke up. But Jordan’s preparing everything in the cryo chamber and your mom, Jackson and Shaw are loading the transport ship and making sure everything’s good to go.”

“We talked about it earlier, while you were asleep,” Raven takes over. “And we decided to wake up a smaller group first.”

“Yeah.” Bellamy nods. “Mostly Arkers and Eligius. We figured they’ll have an easier time accepting the situation.”

“Plus our people, Indra – she doesn’t let anything phase her – and Madi.” Raven pauses to give Clarke an opportunity to… argue? She’s not sure. She assumed they’d get Madi to address the Grounders, Wonkru or whatever they want to be called. It just makes sense – they accept her as their Commander, it’s more likely they’ll go along with the plan if she’s the one giving orders.

“OK, sounds good,” Clarke agrees. “We’ll have to tell Madi what to say, though, and she shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

“Of course not,” Bellamy assures her quickly. “We’ll be there with her, all of us. But she’s the one who has to do the talking.”

“I know. It’s OK, really. So, is that it? We should probably head down there.”

“Sure.” Bellamy gets up and goes into the kitchen, coming back a moment later with an algae bar that he holds out to her. “After you eat. You didn’t even stay awake long enough for dinner last night.”

Clarke grabs the bar, but gets up from the armchair. “I can eat and walk.”

Bellamy just shakes his head. “Fine. Come on, Reyes.”

“Speaking of last night…” Clarke says as they head towards the door, “how’d I get back here? I’m pretty sure I passed out in the med bay.”

Her question gets an odd response from both Raven and Bellamy – Raven smirks at Bellamy, who rubs his neck and looks away from her.

“What?”

“Well, you really conked out after you were done with the surgery. I was all for leaving you in the med bay, but Blake wouldn’t hear of it and was kind enough to carry you back to the apartment.”

And, yeah. Now that she knows what happened, she does have vague memories of last night. She must have woken up briefly, because she remembers strong arms holding her up, a sort of swinging sensation, and Bellamy’s scent surrounding her.

“You should have just woken me up,” she grumbles.

“You needed your sleep,” Bellamy replies quietly. “It’s not a big deal.”

And it’s not, of course. Not to him.

“Well, thanks,” she says awkwardly, and he shrugs.

Right. No big deal.

“I’m the one who changed your clothes, though,” Raven mumbles in her ear, low enough so Bellamy doesn’t hear. “Hope you’re not too disappointed…”

She hip checks Clarke before skipping off ahead of them down the corridor, and Clarke sighs.

Everyone’s in the cryo chamber when they get there, gathered around the control panel Jordan’s used to wake people up. Abby immediately wraps an arm around Clarke’s shoulders.

“How are you feeling, honey? You were really exhausted last night.”

“I’m fine, Mom, just didn’t sleep great the night before,” Clarke replies, hoping Abby will leave it at that. Which she does, thankfully.

“OK, the ship’s packed up and ready, we can go ahead and start waking people up,” Shaw says.

“I’ve got everyone we discussed prepared,” Jordan adds. “Just say the word.”

Raven raises her eyebrows at Clarke, and she nods. “Go ahead, Jordan.”

She doesn’t watch him push the button, she’s already on her way to Madi’s cryo pod. As it opens, she deliberately turns so she has her back to where Raven and Bellamy are standing by the pods that Murphy, Emori and Echo are in. She’s already watched them reunite once, she has no desire to do it again.

Madi opens her eyes, and Clarke pushes all other thoughts aside.

“Good morning, my little _natblida_ ,” she says with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

Madi stretches her arms over her head and sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of the pod.

“Why did you wake up first?” she asks. “I thought everyone would wake up at the same time.”

“Well…” Clarke starts, pushing a strand of hair behind Madi’s ear. “Things didn’t go exactly as planned.”

Madi frowns. “Why?”

For the first time, Clarke’s grateful that Madi has the AI in her brain. It means that she has Becca’s memories, so it’s not as hard as it could have been to explain the situation to her. She asks questions no twelve-year-old should even understand, and accepts everything Clarke says without even blinking.

“So I have to make everyone understand that we need to get along on this new planet,” she says when Clarke’s told her everything.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Clarke replies. “But we’re not going to make you do something you don’t want to, OK? So if you don’t feel up for this, that’s OK, we’ll figure something else out.”

Madi rolls her eyes in a way that is becoming much too familiar.

“It’s fine, Clarke. This is what I need to do for my people.”

For a moment, Clarke is reminded so forcefully of Lexa that she almost takes a step back. But this isn’t Lexa, this is Madi – her daughter, who she has vowed to protect until her dying breath.

“OK. But we’ll be there the whole time, got it? You’re not doing this alone.”

“I know,” Madi says with a smile that’s all her.

“OK, come on then.”

Clarke helps Madi down from the pod and they turn towards the front of the chamber, where Jordan has been waiting. He’s been joined by _their_ people – Abby is talking to Indra and Diyoza, Jackson and Miller are standing slightly apart from the rest, heads close together, Octavia and Jordan have somehow found their way to each other, and Raven, Shaw, Murphy, Emori, Bellamy and Echo are in the center, in a loose circle. There are more Arkers who have gravitated towards them and most of the Eligius people are spread out in the room, close to their cryo pods.

Clarke pulls Madi along, intending to join her mom, Indra and Diyoza, but when he sees them, Bellamy nods for them to join their group instead, taking a step closer to Echo to make room for Clarke and Madi between himself and Murphy. For a moment, Clarke considers pretending she didn’t see him, but then Raven looks over too and waves them closer.

“You doing OK, Madi?” Bellamy asks as they join the group. He reaches for Clarke’s hand, the way he has whenever they’ve been next to each other over the past couple of weeks, but they can’t do that anymore. Clarke shoves her hand in her pocket to avoid the temptation and turns to Madi, ignoring the frown on Bellamy’s face.

“It’s a little overwhelming,” the girl says. “But I think I understand. It will just take some time to get used to.”

“Amen to that, kid,” Murphy pipes in, earning a couple of dry chuckles.

“So everyone’s been brought up to speed?” Clarke asks, glancing around the group. She meets Echo’s eyes briefly but quickly turns away.

“Everyone _here_ ,” Raven amends, nodding at the three small groups around them. “I guess we should make some sort of general announcement to the rest?”

“Yeah, let’s get on with it,” Bellamy agrees. “We need to get the others woken up too and get going, before people start getting hungry…”

“OK, listen up everyone!” It’s Diyoza, who’s joined them while Bellamy was speaking, that yells. The people who are still milling around the room aimlessly make their way towards the now united group at the front. Clarke turns so she’s facing them, putting Bellamy behind her, and lets out a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. She can still feel his eyes on her, but at least she doesn’t have to struggle to be able to stop herself from meeting them.

“Right,” Shaw takes over from Diyoza, taking a few steps forward so he’s in front of the others. “As you may have figured out by now, things didn’t go as we thought. Our original plan was shot to hell when Earth didn’t recover like it was supposed to.

Two brave people, Monty Green and Harper McIntyre, decided to stay awake to monitor the situation, and when they realized what was happening, they managed to get into the encrypted files about the Eligius Three mission. It turns out they weren’t mining, like we were – they were scoping out a planet that they were hoping could be used as a new oil source, a planet with a position that makes it suitable for human life.”

He pauses to let that sink in and immediately hushed conversations spring up around the room. Shaw gives them a few minutes before he continues.

“We arrived at that planet a couple of weeks ago, and since then, me and a few others have been exploring one area of it, trying to figure out if it can work as our new home. And it turns out that it can.

We can breathe the air, we’ve found a lake and a stream with drinkable water, and there are fruits and berries that we’ll be able to eat. Hopefully we’ll be able to hunt the animals we’ve already come across, but we haven’t tested the meat yet, so we’re not sure about that one. But we can live here…”

It takes a moment before everyone realizes he’s finished speaking, but when they do, the volume rises considerably in the room.

“OK!” Bellamy yells after a few minutes. “As you obviously can see, we haven’t woken everyone up yet. We figured some of… Wonkru,” he turns to Indra, who nods, “might have a harder time accepting this situation than all of you. So if you would please follow Jackson and Miller, they’ll take you to the ship’s mess hall where you can talk about this all you want while we get the rest up to speed.”

Jackson and Miller step forward and start leading people out the door. It takes a while, but eventually, the only ones left in the room are Clarke, Madi, Abby, Indra, Jordan, Raven, Shaw, Bellamy and Echo. Murphy and Emori went to the mess hall so Murphy could sit down and take it easy, and Octavia slipped out at some point as well.

“That was…” Raven starts.

“Yeah,” Shaw agrees, though she doesn’t finish her thought.

“OK, come on, Madi,” Bellamy says, turning to the girl. “We need to decide what you’re going to say to Wonkru.”

“Can’t I just say what Shaw said?” she asks.

“No,” Indra steps into the conversation. “You should keep it simple.”

“She’s right,” Echo agrees. “Just stick to the basics – Earth is gone, we’ve been asleep for a long time and now we’ve arrived at a new planet where we can live. None of all that… _science_.” She says the word like an expletive, like it’s something dirty.

“Yes, that is good.” Indra nods. “They do not need all those details, they will only confuse them. If anyone questions you, just tell them that the Flame has brought us here to give us a new chance. Nobody will dare argue with that.”

A part of Clarke wants to object to that. The Flame has nothing to do with this, it’s all Monty and Harper’s doing, they deserve credit for it. But she does understand that this is the easiest way to get everyone to cooperate.

“Is everyone OK with that?” she asks, just to make sure nobody’s going to argue once Madi’s giving her speech.

Everyone nods, even if both Raven and Jordan look less than happy.

“It’s the best way,” Raven reasons, and Jordan sighs.

“I know. We all know what they did for us, maybe that’ll have to be enough.”

“Right,” Bellamy says. “You got this, Madi?”

“Got it,” she says confidently.

“Then let’s wake the rest up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, halfway there! Echo’s awake, Clarke’s pulling away from Bellamy and soon everyone will be on the ground… who knows what will happen there?  
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, so if you have a moment, I would love to hear from you!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains one of the scenes that were the starting point for this entire fic, and that I had written in my head even before the season finale. Wonder if you can figure out which one?  
> The next few chapters will overlap more than the previous ones have so far, since I didn’t want to skip back and forth with a bunch of tiny chapters to get both Bellamy and Clarke’s perspective on many different aspects, so the time line is a little wonky, but I hope it isn’t too confusing!  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-12-**

 

If he were the least bit religious, Bellamy thinks he’d be converted by watching Madi speak to Wonkru.

It’s not so much _her_ – he’d take the kid they met when they first landed on Earth, sure of herself, yes, but still just a kid, over this version that sounds too old and wise any day – but the way the crowd listens to her… It’s not the first time he’s experienced the power of the Flame, of course, he saw it before the final battle on the Ground, and even back when Lexa was the Commander. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it, though, the way some eyes light up with an almost fanatic glow and they all fall in line without questioning anything, like they’re puppets on a string and Madi just has to tug lightly to get her way. It stirs a memory somewhere deep inside him, and it takes a moment before he remembers exactly what – an old documentary about cults, back before the apocalypse, with actual footage from some of them. Those people had had almost exactly the same look in their eyes when they listened to their leaders.

Despite Indra and Echo’s input on Madi’s speech, the carefully edited version of their current situation, part of him still expects there to be dissent. A big part of Wonkru had been suspicious of going into cryo sleep to begin with, only accepting it since there was literally no other option, and it just makes sense that they’d be even more skeptical of space travel and a new planet they have never heard about before. But it’s surprisingly easy, in the end.

He stands to the side and watches as Indra leads the people out the door, the same way the Arkers and Eligius went a little while ago. They’ll be boarding the transport ship soon, Raven and Shaw are already on their way to the dock to make sure everything goes smoothly. When the last person disappears down the corridor, Clarke turns to her mom.

“We should get Marcus ready for transport,” she says, and Abby nods. “Jordan, do you need to shut anything down here before we leave? We’ll be back at least a few times after this, but still.”

Jordan shakes his head. “No, the ship’s already on autopilot, it’ll be fine up here without us, just like it was fine while we were all in cryo.”

“OK.” Clarke nods. “Then the rest of you should probably get down to the transport ship, help Raven and Shaw get everyone situated, we’ll be there with Marcus as soon as we can.”

She meets Bellamy’s eyes briefly, but hers are shuttered and before he can say anything, she’s turned her back on him and is ushering Madi out the door, Abby behind them.

 _Look at me!_ he wants to yell after her. _Stop pushing me away, I just got you back…_ But he feels Echo’s presence beside him, and stays silent.

“Are you alright?” she asks quietly as he turns from the door.

“Fine,” he replies shortly, immediately regretting snapping at her. She hasn’t done anything wrong, he shouldn’t take his bad mood out on her. He takes a deep breath, working to get his emotions and voice under control before he continues. “Come on, we really should get down to the transport ship.” She gives him a long, scrutinizing look but eventually nods and follows him out the door.

Soon after they reach the transport ship, the rest of the people they’ve just woken up start arriving and Raven and Shaw oversee getting everyone ready for take-off. It’s another half hour before Abby, Clarke and Madi arrive with Kane in a wheelchair they must have found somewhere in the med bay. He’s pale and looks like he might pass out at any moment, but he’s awake and alert, which is better than the last time Bellamy saw him.

“You doing OK?” Bellamy asks as Abby wheels Kane past them and onto the ship.

Kane gives him a tight smile and clasps his hand for a moment. “Better than before,” he says, voice shaking slightly. “And hopefully I’ll be able to stay in bed and actually heal once we’ve reached this planet.”

“Does it have a name?” Madi asks suddenly, and Bellamy frowns.

“Not as far as I know,” he tells her. “We’ll have to come up with one when we have a chance, OK?”

She gives him a big smile at that, and in that moment she reminds him so much of Octavia at that age that he can’t help but reach out and tug on her braid. He catches movement behind Madi’s shoulder as he does, and finds his sister watching the exchange, a wistful smile on her face.

He wishes he could just snap his fingers and fix things between them, but he knows it’ll take time. And, for the first time in so long, they might actually _have_ time. He smiles back at her, hoping he can convey some of the surge of hope he feels for their future.

-100-

They land in the valley below the hill they’ve picked for their settlement, having agreed it’s best to have the base down there during the construction period, so people who aren’t involved in it won’t get in the way. It’s also closer to the woods, where their food is coming from and where they’ll start chopping down trees as soon as possible. The lake isn’t too far away, so they can get water without too much hassle.

Of course, the damn cat is waiting for them, as usual. Madi squeals when it licks her hand, Clarke’s laugh fills the air and for a moment, Bellamy can’t tear his eyes away from them. But then Miller calls his name, and he’s roped into helping to move some of the cots off the ship and into the tents and sort out the sleeping arrangements, and then Clarke takes a group of people to the lake to get water while he and Shaw lead two groups into the woods to gather as much food as they can. It’s one thing after another, and he loses sight of her for long stretches of time, only spotting her now and then, always too far off for him to be able to talk to her, ask her how things are going. When he sees her talking to Madi, a smile on her face, or deep in conversation with her mom about something or other, he thinks that maybe, if he can just see her like this, know that she’s alive and happy, that it can be enough. He doesn’t need more than that, even if he does want it.

-100-

As darkness falls, Bellamy finds himself on the edge of the woods, some ways away from the fires that have been started around their temporary camp, half-hidden in shadows and watching his people finally have a moment of peace.

A group of them are gathered around a fire some twenty yards away from where he’s standing, their laughter floating over to him on the wind now and then. Emori, Jordan, Raven, Shaw, Clarke and Madi. Abby’s hovering at the edge of the circle, probably ready to rush off back to the ship and check on Kane, who they decided would be most comfortable in the makeshift med bay on there for now, at a moment’s notice. Murphy’s also staying in the med bay, at least until Abby gives him a clean bill of health, and he was tired after the journey down here so Bellamy assumes he’s called it a night already.

He smiles when he sees Clarke tuck a strand of hair behind Madi’s ear, a soft look on her face that he hasn’t seen many times since they met but that has been making more regular appearances in the last couple of weeks. Madi says something and Clarke nods, before glancing over at her mom, probably noticing, like he just did, that she’s not really a part of the group.

“It’s nice to see you happy. I haven’t before.”

He almost jumps at the voice beside him and turns to find Echo watching him from a few feet away, an unreadable expression on her face. He shouldn’t be surprised that he didn’t hear her approach – once a spy, always a spy. For a moment, he feels guilty that he didn’t even notice that she wasn’t around the fire with the rest of their friends.

They haven’t really had a chance to talk much since she came out of cryo. Their initial greeting was pretty short, by necessity – if he’s being honest, he did try to keep a bit of distance between them, accepting her hug after he helped her from the cryo pod but pulling away before it could turn into something more, all the time extremely aware of Clarke a few feet away, even though she had been focused on Madi, her back to him.

“What do you mean? I’ve been happy before,” he says, almost defiantly.

One side of Echo’s mouth lifts up in a smile that can only be described as sad and he wants to ask what’s wrong, but she continues before he has a chance.

“Not like this. You were… content, maybe, on the Ring, at least the last couple of years, but you were never really happy. And before that… not that I knew you all that well, but I know from experience that there’s no happiness in war.”

He’s about to protest, but the words catch in his throat as he thinks about it, really thinks about it, possibly for the first time ever.

Was he ever happy on Earth? Sure, there was maybe a day there in the beginning – before Jasper got speared in the chest and they realized that the supposedly deserted planet was actually inhabited by people trying to kill them – where he had been almost happy. He had been free of the Ark and Octavia had been alright – the one thing that had been his goal, his guiding light, his entire life up until that point. But at the same time, he’d been wrecked with guilt over shooting Jaha and constantly worrying about the other delinquents finding out that he was a killer, even half-heartedly planning to take off with Octavia to make their own way before anyone figured it out and turned on him.

After that it had pretty much been a game of survival where he counted himself lucky if he made it through the day without getting either killed or seriously injured, or losing yet another one of the rapidly diminishing original hundred. There just wasn’t time for happiness. The closest he’d come would probably be the brief time after Mount Weather when he’d been with Gina, but even then there had been a Clarke shaped cloud constantly hanging over his head – was she alright, was she hurt, did she have enough to eat, somewhere to sleep, would she ever come back, _was she even alive_? Not to mention his growing body count and the nightmares of dead children with radiation burns that wouldn’t let him get a full night’s sleep… Then came the whole clusterfuck with Pike, ALIE and the City of Light, and the end of the world – again. So no, he’d never been actually happy on Earth.

And the Ring… those first few months, maybe even years, were a haze of working himself to exhaustion getting everything up and running so they wouldn’t die in their sleep and a numbing grief that pressed in on him from all sides, making him feel like he couldn’t breathe properly. It eased a little, with time, but he knows he didn’t completely let go of it, not until he saw Clarke in that little cell on the Eligius ship six years later. And even apart from that, there had always been the worry for Octavia down in the bunker – had she survived the radiation wave, would she be able to maintain the peace between the clans and keep everyone alive for six years? The guilt that, for the first time in his life, he wasn’t there to protect his baby sister and make sure that she was OK had been gnawing at him constantly.

And even before the Ground, on the Ark, he had never actually let himself just be happy. He was always on edge, always cautious, because at any moment, someone could find out about Octavia and float their mom, lock O up and take everything from him. So if he’s being honest with himself, he probably hasn’t been really happy since he was six years old and his mom explained why he could never ever tell anyone he had a baby sister, why he had to keep her quiet and hide her under the floor when someone knocked on their door…

 _24 years is a long time to go without real happiness_ , he thinks. Would he even recognize it now?

Then his eyes are drawn back to the group around the fire, like a magnet, and stop on Clarke and Madi again.

He would, he realizes, because he’s been experiencing it for the last couple of weeks. Maybe not as soon as he woke up, but definitely as the days passed and they realized that this planet could be their new opportunity, that there will be obstacles, sure, but nothing they can’t overcome.

Working with Clarke again, trying to figure out how to move forward, making plans and contingency plans and contingency plans for their contingency plans. Exploring this new, terrifying but exciting planet. If he’s honest, just spending time with her, being close to her, makes him happy, a kind of happy that he’s probably never been before.

Echo has stayed still and silent during his internal musings but now she reaches out and squeezes his arm.

“You deserve that happiness,” she tells him, and when he looks over at her he sees that she, too, is watching Clarke and Madi at the fire. “And it’s alright that it won’t be with me.”

“Echo…” he starts, but she shakes her head and smiles at him, less sad now.

“It’s alright,” she repeats genuinely. “You know I was worried about what would happen between us when we got back to the Ground, and I think I knew that we wouldn’t last down there, even when we still thought that she was dead. I had accepted that I would always live with her ghost hanging over me, and I was mostly fine with that, but when we found out that she was alive… I knew it was only a matter of time then. I think you did too.”

Bellamy tries to think of something to say, to assure her that she’s wrong, but… he knows that she isn’t. This is what he’s been struggling with internally for the last few weeks, after all, trying to figure out how to handle the situation when Echo woke up. He just hasn’t gotten around to making an actual plan. And he might be able to convince her that he does want to be with her – though he’s not really sure about that, she’s scarily perceptive – but would that really be fair, to either of them? She deserves more than someone who’s in love with someone else.

“You know I love you, right?” he finally does say, because he needs her to know at least that.

“Of course,” she replies immediately, without hesitation, and he lets out a breath. “You and I, we will _always_ be family, never doubt that. Six years in that metal box in the sky made sure of that.”

He nods, not quite trusting his own voice, and pulls her in for a hug.

“I’m not cutting you out of my life,” she mumbles against his shoulder. “I just… I needed to do this, because I wasn’t sure if you ever would, and it had to be done… for all three of us. We all deserve this chance at happiness.”

She’s right, of course. He’s just a little amazed it took her all of nine hours or so to realize it.

“Thank you,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

She pulls away and to his relief she’s still smiling.

“Right, you have officially been dumped, now go get the girl,” she says, giving him a little shove in the direction of the fire.

“Harper never should have gotten you to watch all those 21st century high school movies in the entertainment archives on the Ring,” he grumbles, and she laughs.

“Like I was the only one watching them.” She pauses for a moment, sadness creeping into her features again and he squeezes her hand.

“How are you doing with all of that?” he asks. He’s come to terms with the loss of their friends over the last couple of weeks, lots of talks with Raven and Clarke, and even Jordan, turning the sadness he felt at first whenever he thought about them into a more quiet grief that he knows will stay with him for a long time, one where he can remember them fondly. But this is still new to Echo.

She sighs. “It’s hard, especially since it feels like I just saw them yesterday.”

“You know I’m here if you need to talk.”

“I know.” She shakes her head a little. “But it’s not your job to take care of us all anymore, alright? You need to focus more on yourself, starting with Clarke. Got it?”

He huffs an almost-laugh. “Got it.”

“And like I said, you’re not getting rid of me. But I’m going to keep a little distance for a while, until I feel seeing you together won’t be too hard.”

“Of course,” he quickly agrees. It’s not like he’s much for PDA, but he understands where she’s coming from. “Besides, I don’t even know if she’s interested.”

Echo gives him a long, unimpressed look, one he’s painfully familiar with after their sparring sessions on the Ring through the years.

“I might be trained to see things most people miss, but trust me, this is not one of those situations – _everyone_ knows. Except the two of you, for some strange reason.”

“Really?” He knows everyone on the Ring had known how he felt about Clarke in the beginning, but he thought he was being a little less obvious about it now. And Clarke… “I don’t know, she’s been… distant, the last few days. Pulling away…” He cuts himself off. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk to you about this, it’s not OK.”

Echo shakes her head. “It’s fine. You obviously need help.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“Just put yourself in her shoes,” she continues. “She knows you and I were… whatever we were. What would you do if the situation were reversed?”

He thinks about it for a moment. If it had been Clarke who’d had a partner in cryo the last few weeks instead of him and he knew they would be waking up, then yeah, he can understand her behavior over the last couple of days. It comes down to basic self-preservation, he thinks – she just pulled away from him before he could push her away when Echo was back in his life.

“I think I see your point,” he says.

“She’s just scared,” Echo continues. “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.”

It doesn’t convince him completely, but it is comforting to know that someone else thinks he does have a chance. Even if that someone is his sort of ex…

“Alright,” Echo says after another moment. “I have done what I came to do, so now I am going to go find a tent for tonight.”

Bellamy immediately feels guilty – he had assumed they would share a tent, and she probably had too.

“Take mine,” he offers without hesitation. “I don’t mind sleeping out in the open, it’ll be refreshing after 125 years in those pods.”

“Are you sure? I can probably get Raven to kick Shaw out if I play to her sympathy. Or there might be a spare cot in one of the tents, a lot of people are sleeping on the ship.”

“No, take mine, it’s already set up,” he insists. “I’ll find another one, or sleep out here or on the ship.”

Echo obviously knows when there’s no point in arguing with him, because she accepts with a nod and another squeeze of his arm and goes off in the direction of his tent.

Bellamy watches her go for a moment while he contemplates what to do now. Bed does sound tempting, it’s been a long day after all and it might take him a while to find somewhere to sleep, but so does joining his friends by the fire. Talk to Clarke for a while, throw some feelers out, try to gauge her reaction before he jumps in head first.

When he turns back to the fire, though, she and Madi have disappeared from the circle. Figuring Clarke’s probably putting Madi to bed, Bellamy still takes the empty seat next to Raven by the fire, deciding to wait for a while and see if she comes back.

But she doesn’t and in the end, everyone else is going to bed, so he surrenders as well, taking Emori’s offer of her tent while she goes back to the med bay on the transport ship to keep Murphy company.

He can’t help but feel a sting of disappointment as he crawls onto the hard cot in the tent, though. The sounds of the night settle around him, and he lets them lull him to sleep eventually, dreaming about chasing Clarke down endless, white hallways and waking up more tired than he was when he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, there we go, the main obstacle out of the way! So now it should be smooth sailing… right?  
> I hope Echo wasn’t too OOC? I don’t feel like I have a great grasp on her character, to be honest, she could go “back off, he’s mine”, but I also think that she’s a very proud person and wouldn’t want to be with a guy who’s in love with someone else… and I felt like she had to be the one to take that final step (F1Queen23, you were pretty spot on there!) I’m so not counting on this happening on the show, of course, but wishful thinking! Hope you guys liked the chapter, comments and kudos are always welcome :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said before the last chapter, there will be more of an overlap between a couple of chapters going forward. The first part of this chapter, up until the break a little more than halfway through, sort of runs parallel to chapter 12, giving you the landing day from Clarke’s POV, but then we keep going after the end of that chapter. Just so you’re (hopefully) clear on the timeline!  
> As always, I don’t own anything related to The 100. Enjoy!

**-13-**

 

It’s been an excruciatingly long day – not really time wise, it’s only been seven, maybe eight hours since Madi’s speech on the ship. But emotionally. For some reason, it’s draining to keep an eye on the guy you’re in love with and his girlfriend, and then try to stay as far away from both of them as you can, all while overseeing the initial steps of a colonization.

Convincing the Grounders that this strange, new planet is their new home is surprisingly easy. Nobody argues after Madi’s speech about the Flame and new beginnings, and some of them even look excited as they file out of the cryo chamber. Clarke supposes a lot of them have bad memories of Earth, especially the years spent in the bunker, and a new start, whatever form that may take, might feel like a blessing.

The landing goes smoothly, and after everyone has some time to take in their new home, they manage to get them working together fairly quickly. Since they set the tents up the last time they were down here, they can start moving the extra cots from the ship into them quickly – two cots per tent, so the people staying on the ship also have beds. Clarke’s pretty sure she sees a group of Grounders set up some sort of camp just beyond the tree-line as well, just bringing some tarp and blankets. Which she can understand, she and Madi spent their fair share of nights sleeping under the stars after Praimfaya and she always woke up wonderfully rested after those. At the time, part of the draw had also been the feeling of being closer to the Ring, to Bellamy, during the dark hours, being able to spot the tiny light moving across the sky – or at least she used to tell herself that she could – before sleep pulled her under, but still.

They split the tasks between them, so one of the explorers is always with a group venturing beyond the immediate area around the ship. Clarke is grateful for this, since it means it makes it easier for her to avoid Bellamy and Echo. She happily leads a bunch of people armed with whatever containers they were able to find on the ships down to the lake where they gather water that will hopefully last at least the rest of the day. Raven has said that she’ll be able to rig up some sort of pump system so they won’t have to haul water all the time, but for now, this is the best, and only, solution.

When they get back to camp, Bellamy and Shaw have taken two other groups into the woods to gather food, giving her another respite, and she makes sure to be busy in the ship, setting up the makeshift med bay with her mom and Madi, when they eventually return.

She manages to keep herself occupied all day, only catching glimpses of him across camp now and then and quickly turning away when she does, but eventually, the first sun sets and then the second one is on its way down, coloring the sky in shades of pink, purple and gold. The essential tasks are finished, the initial frenzy is dying down and people are settling down for the evening – fires have been started around camp and Grounders, Arkers and Eligius alike are grouping off around them, munching on the fruits and berries and nuts that have been gathered during the day. Her mom has just given Marcus another dose of morphine, which will hopefully let him sleep through the night, and Gaia and Murphy, who are staying in the med bay until Abby gives them the all clear, have been brought food and don’t need any immediate attention.

Which means Clarke has nothing more she can do to avoid joining the others.

“Come on,” Madi wheedles her from where she’s perched on a stainless steel table in the med bay, kicking her legs against its sides. “I’m hungry.”

Clarke checks Murphy’s bandage for the third time this afternoon and doesn’t answer.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were avoiding something,” Murphy notes, voice lowered so Madi doesn’t hear. “Or _someone_. Trouble in paradise?”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “Not sure what _paradise_ you’re talking about, but I’m still going to go with ‘it’s none of your business’.”

“Whatever. All I’m saying is I’ve put up with enough of Blake pining over you, so please, for all our sakes, put the poor guy out of his misery.”

She ignores the butterflies that Murphy’s words set off in her stomach and just manages to not point out the elephant in the room – namely Echo – in favor of a simple but hopefully efficient snub.

“Again, none of your business.”

She leaves Murphy’s bed before he can say anything more and goes through the same routine with Gaia. The girl is quiet as Clarke checks her incisions and wraps her back up.

“Thank you,” she says with a squeeze of Clarke’s hand when she’s finished.

Clarke offers her a smile. “My mom will spend the night here, so just let her know if you need anything, OK?”

Gaia returns the smile and nods.

“Right, food,” Clarke says, crossing the room to Madi. She figures she can eat quickly and then claim she’s tired – which isn’t even a lie – and go to bed early. “Let’s go. Mom, you too.”

Abby looks up from where she’s sitting next to Marcus’ bed and Clarke can see that she’s about to argue. “You need to eat too, you’re no good for him if you pass out because you’re starving.”

Abby sighs, but does join them as they leave the ship, Madi happily skipping ahead of them. She pauses for a moment when they reach the camp, before she spots Raven, Shaw and Emori around one of the fires and pulls Clarke along in their direction.

“Finally done for the day?” Raven says as Clarke sits down next to her. “I’ve barely seen you.”

Clarke shrugs. “It’s been busy,” she replies, and it has. Still, Raven gives her a look through narrowed eyes, as if she wants to question the statement, but doesn’t say anything.

“How’s John doing?” Emori asks from Raven’s other side, reaching for a big bowl that’s sitting on the ground in front of the fire, filled with fruits and berries, and handing it to Clarke.

“He’s a pain in my butt, so I’d say he’s on the mend,” Clarke says, taking some food for herself before passing the bowl back to her mom, who’s sort of lingering, unwilling to sit down and get too comfortable. “Seriously, though, he should be just fine, as long as he actually takes it easy and gives himself time to heal, right, Mom?”

“He should be, yes,” Abby says.

“I’ll make sure he does,” Emori vows, and Clarke believes her.

“Mind if I join you?”

Clarke looks up at Jordan’s voice and smiles. “Of course not, go ahead.”

He takes a seat next to Madi, who offers him the bowl of fruit and berries she’s just grabbed some from.

“So, does everyone have a place to sleep?” he asks after taking a bite out of a large, apple like fruit that tastes sweet.

“We’re over there,” Clarke says, nodding towards the corner where she’s claimed a tent for herself and Madi, clear across the camp from the tent that she saw Bellamy deposit his things in earlier. She really doesn’t need an unwelcome soundtrack on their first night here, she knows she’ll have enough trouble sleeping as it is.

“I’ve got a tent for me and John, but I guess I’m on my own for now,” Emori notes.

“I’m sleeping in the med bay, you’re welcome to stay there as well, if you want,” Abby offers. “We have a couple of extra beds in there.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it,” Emori replies.

“We’re right back there,” Raven says, gesturing with her thumb over her shoulder. “How about you, kid?”

“I’ve decided to take it slow, so I’m sleeping on the ship for now,” Jordan replies. “I like the outdoors, but I think I prefer having an actual roof over my head.”

“Just give it some time, you’ll learn to love it,” Raven says, looking around as she speaks. “Hey, where’s Bellamy? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Emori chuckles. “Or Echo. I’m sure they’re off somewhere getting… reacquainted with each other, if you know what I mean…”

Clarke suddenly has trouble swallowing the berries she just put in her mouth. _Don’t think about it, don’t think about it_ , she repeats in her head, swallowing hard and washing the food down with some water.

“I just saw Echo over by the water station a moment ago,” Jordan says, oblivious to Clarke’s internal struggle or the fact that he just eased it, if only for a moment. “So I kind of doubt it.”

“And there are children present,” Raven notes. “Let’s keep the S-E-X talk to a minimum.”

“I do know how to spell,” Madi pipes in drily. “And I know what sex is, I’m not a kid.”

“Right, did Clarke give you _the talk_?” Raven chuckles.

“Nope, no way,” Clarke says, finally having found her voice again. She hopes nobody notices that it’s shaking slightly. She clears her throat to try to keep it steady as she continues. “Didn’t really see the point when it was just the two of us on the whole planet.”

“That would be a pretty efficient contraceptive, yes,” Raven admits.

“What’s contraceptive?” Madi asks.

“Something we’re going to talk to my mom about once you’re old enough,” Clarke tells her in her _end of discussion_ -voice. Luckily, Madi knows from experience not to push when she uses it and goes back to her food.

She feels Raven elbow her lightly in the side and turns to face her. _Sorry_ , her friend mouths quietly and Clarke shrugs. _No big_ , she mouths back, but she’s filing this away for the future – since Raven was the one to bring it up, _she_ can be the one to give Madi _the talk_ when the day comes.

The topic of conversation reverts to more neutral areas, thankfully, Emori asking question after question about the new planet, and Clarke finds she’s actually enjoying herself.

It’s completely dark, the fires casting ethereal shadows on the tents and making the trees nearby appear larger than they really are, as if they’re looming over them, when she spots Bellamy by the tree line. At first, her stomach does the swoop that she’s gotten used to whenever she’s seen him in the last few weeks, but then she sees Echo beside him, the two obviously engaged in some sort of intense conversation, and it plummets again. She quickly averts her eyes when Bellamy pulls the other woman into a hug.

“Come on, Madi, time for bed,” Clarke says, standing up and popping the last of her berries in her mouth.

Madi’s face falls. “No, come on, it’s not even that late yet.”

“It’s been a long day, I’m exhausted and I know you are too,” Clarke reasons. “Tomorrow’s going to be a lot of work and I want to get a good night’s sleep. Please.”

“Go on, kid,” Raven says. “We’re off to bed soon too, you won’t miss anything.”

Madi still looks like she’s considering putting up a fight, but in the end, she stands too, giving Clarke a murderous look before she storms past her in the direction of their tent. Clarke sighs.

“Kids, am I right?” Raven gives her a smirk.

“She’s not even a teenager yet,” Clarke grumbles, and her mom laughs from behind her.

“Oh, you have so much to look forward to, honey,” she says in an amused and not-at-all comforting voice. “I think I’ll go check on Marcus and the others one last time and then turn in too. Night, all.”

She squeezes Clarke’s arm and disappears in the direction of the ship.

“Right, sleep well, everyone, see you tomorrow.”

A stream of goodnights follow her as she walks to her and Madi’s tent, deliberately not thinking about the scene she witnessed by the trees a moment ago. She knew this was coming, it’s not a surprise. It hurt, and it’s going to hurt for a while, so she’ll just have to get some distance until she can move past it. She refuses to even consider the fact that she might not be able to – it might not have worked over the last six years, but things are different now.

-100-

Clarke’s plan works surprisingly well over the next few weeks. They start cutting down trees and building up on the hill, where Bellamy takes on a sort of supervisor position, overseeing the work but also doing actual building himself. Raven and Shaw are able to adapt machinery from the ship into sawing machines, which simplifies and speeds up the process considerably, as well as the machines Raven promised for moving timber up the hill from the valley. Clarke isn’t really involved in the actual construction, she and her mom are in charge of the med bay as Jackson is more of an asset on the building side, so she manages to keep to herself most of the time.

Bellamy usually works late into the evenings, until the suns have set, so Clarke arranges her schedule accordingly, taking the morning shift in the med bay and going to bed early in the evenings. They usually spend a few minutes in each other’s company during breakfast, but Clarke’s always almost done by the time he sits down with his food and it’s the same during dinner. The promise they made of eating together in the mornings way back on the last day of exploring is always there, somewhere in the back of her mind, and even more so when she catches the way his face falls when she makes an excuse to leave just moments after he’s arrived. Her behavior must be confusing him and probably hurting him, too, and knowing that kills her, but the alternative, staying and trying to make conversation, being nice to Echo when she shows up, is worse. So she’s being selfish, putting her own wellbeing before his, even though it hurts just a little bit more every time she turns her back on him.

The only time they really spend more than a few minutes in each other’s company is during the weekly council meetings. They’ve set up a temporary council during this initial phase, and to Clarke’s surprise, she’s one of the people elected to be on it – everyone got to pick two people, and the ten with the most votes, as well as Madi, who’s technically in charge as the Commander and is supposed to have the last and final vote on all issues, were chosen. Apart from herself and Bellamy, the council consists of Miller, Diyoza, a guy from Eligius called Ben, Indra and four Grounders that Clarke doesn’t know. The upside is that there are always nine other people at these meetings, so she can keep to her side of the room and avoid being right beside Bellamy and having to actually interact with him.

She knows it’s not an arrangement that’s going to last, not in the long run, especially not once the construction phase is over and they get on with actually _living_ , but for now, she just about gets away with it, and she hopes that she’ll at least have started getting over him by the time she’s forced to spend more time with him. Raven gives her long looks sometimes, and even corners her in the med bay one day though she manages to get out of it. She catches Bellamy staring at her from the other side of the camp more than once, and sometimes he stops what he’s doing as she passes a building site, looking like he’s about to say something, but she quickly turns away when she accidentally meets his eyes and busies herself with something to avoid him coming over and trying to talk to her. He hasn’t tried too hard so far, and she hopes that means he understands that she needs some time and space.

They finish a large mess hall first, intended to be used for meetings and as a dining hall and social space according to need. After that, they move on to kitchens, smoke houses – they’ve managed to hunt both deer, rabbit and boar and all have been deemed safe for human consumption by Abby, as well as a few types of fish they’ve caught in the lake – storage buildings, a workshop for Raven, Shaw and Jordan, and a proper med bay before they start on individual cabins.

Despite Clarke’s objections, she and Madi are among the first group to get a cabin. It was decided early on that the people with children would get priority when it came to housing, and even though she’s more mature in many ways, due to the AI, Madi is still one of the younger kids in camp, as no children were born during the years in the bunker, courtesy of Abby’s stash of contraceptive implants from the Ark, which all women of childbearing age now have.

So by the end of their first month on the ground, Clarke and Madi move into their little cabin with a living area in the middle and a bedroom on either side. There’s even a small washroom just inside the door, with a sort of toilet that’s hooked up to Raven’s plumbing system – they have to pour water into it to flush, but it’s miles better than the latrines Clarke remembers from their Dropship days – and a wash basin connected to a water tank on the roof, which means the water is heated by the suns during the day. Raven’s water system is coming along nicely and will be hooked up eventually, and she claims she might even be able to arrange proper showers at some point, even if it’s not a priority at the moment.

Clarke’s favorite thing is the fireplace in the main room. A few of the Grounders have experience with masonry and they’ve used rock from the hilly area west of the lake to make stone fireplaces in all the cabins, for cooking and keeping warm once winter comes – they’re still not sure how cold the winter will be or when exactly it will arrive, the temperature has dropped a little since they landed, but not really that much. Still, it’s better to plan for every eventuality than be surprised by a freezing winter.

After the med bay is finished and they move into their cabin, Clarke spends most of her time up in the settlement, which makes it harder to avoid Bellamy since he’s working there all the time. He’s still living in a tent down in the valley, but everyone’s started eating their meals and socializing in the mess hall in the evenings, so Clarke takes to trying to cook and eat in their own cabin most days, even if Madi usually insists on eating with the others in the mess hall.

“I thought you and Bellamy were OK,” the girl says one evening when she’s reluctantly agreed to join Clarke for dinner in their cabin. “You said you talked about the radio calls and the bunker and everything… I thought that meant you’d be hanging out more.”

“We’re fine,” Clarke says with a sigh, hoping against hope that Madi lets it go.

“Is it about Echo?” Madi asks. Of course she’s too perceptive for her own good… Clarke’s never actually come out and said it, but she’s sure Madi’s figured out that she’s in love with Bellamy by now. She heard a lot of the radio calls, after all.

“I just… I need some time, Madi,” she says. “It’s hard seeing him with her, I’m trying to work through it but it’s going to take a while, OK? I’m not stopping you from spending time with them, you can whenever you want.”

“But I want to spend time with you too,” Madi replies. “And they don’t kiss and stuff, like Raven and Zeke, and Emori and Murphy do. She’s not even around that much, you could come hang out when she’s not there, right?”

“We’ll see, Madi,” Clarke half-promises, deliberately keeping her answer vague and at the same time trying to not read anything into the girl’s words. Raven had said that Bellamy and Echo didn’t act like a couple much, it’s probably just something they like to keep private. Which Clarke is insanely grateful for, she was uncomfortable enough when she accidentally walked in on Raven and Zeke with much too little clothes on a week ago, she really can’t even imagine what it would have been like if it had been Bellamy instead.

But she knows that she can’t avoid him forever, and the situation comes to a head about a week after her talk with Madi, much sooner than she had hoped.

Gaia and a couple of other women have set up a school of sorts in the mess hall during the days, teaching all the children in the settlement about the plants and animals on the new planet, or at least what they know about them so far, and about the history of the Earth, wanting to make sure they don’t forget where they come from. Madi comes home every evening babbling about ancient wars and names Clarke vaguely remembers from her Earth history classes on the Ark. It’s nice since it means Clarke doesn’t have to keep the girl occupied and can focus on her own work in the med bay during the day, but it’s bad since it means she doesn’t have Madi as an excuse or buffer when she wants to get out of a situation.

Like today.

The med bay is unusually quiet, no new injuries from the construction work in the last few days so all beds but one are empty. Clarke inventories the meds they still have from the ship – they’re working on figuring out which plants have medicinal properties, but so far they’ve only found one that’s good for headaches – and cleans the entire room, but her mom eventually sends her home in the middle of the afternoon.

“There’s no point in both of us hanging around here doing nothing,” Abby reasons. “I’ll come get you if I need you, but try to relax for once. You’ve been going a hundred miles an hour all day, every day since we landed, you can’t keep this up or you’re going to crash eventually, and you know it.”

Clarke’s about to argue that _everyone’s_ been working hard – they’re trying to build a society basically from scratch, it’s going to be hard work for a long time still – but she recognizes the look in her mom’s eyes and realizes that there’s no point.

“Fine,” she agrees grudgingly. “But come get me when you need me.”

“I will.”

With a wave to Luka, who’s in the only occupied bed with a bad cold, Clarke leaves the med bay and heads off in the direction of the mess hall. She figures she can sneak out some of her favorite berries and spend the afternoon reading – they brought all the books from the Eligius ship and have set them up in a corner of the mess hall as a sort of library, and she’s working through the collection slowly, currently reading _Great Expectations_ by Charles Dickens.

She spends a few minutes talking to Mara, who’s in charge in the kitchens, and then heads towards her cabin with her haul.

Which brings her by one of the current construction sites, and before she even realizes it, she hears Miller’s voice.

“Hey, Clarke!”

She stops in her tracks and lifts her head to where he’s perched on the roof of a new cabin that’s being built. With Bellamy, of course.

“No work in the med bay today?” Bellamy asks after a moment.

“No, your guys must be getting better at not falling off buildings and cutting themselves with the saws,” she replies, almost falling into their easy banter from before.

He laughs at that and runs a hand through his hair before he speaks again. “We’re about done for the day here, you want some company?”

She looks around, half-expecting Echo to jump out from behind a corner and ask her what she’s doing. Which of course doesn’t happen.

“I was actually looking forward to spending some quality time with Pip and Estella,” she says.

“Ah, reading _Great Expectations_?”

“Yeah. Maybe some other day?” It’s an empty promise, but she just wants to get out of the situation.

He nods, though she can see the disappointed look in his eyes, and she turns away quickly before she caves.

She lets out a relieved breath when she reaches her cabin, letting the door fall closed behind her, but instead of the click of the latch, there’s a bang as the door is pushed open again so hard it hits the wall, and she spins around to find Bellamy in the doorway.

“When are you going to stop avoiding me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm evil, I know ;) Hope you liked the chapter, and if you did, feel free to let me know - comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, based on the response on the last chapter, I should end things on a cliffhanger more often ;) Just kidding, there won’t be any more of those in this story (at least I don’t think so). But I’m afraid you’ll have to wait just a liiiittle longer to find out what happens, since we’re going to backtrack a little – this chapter picks up after chapter 12, really, so the first part runs parallel with the second half of chapter 13. After this I promise I’m done with the overlapping chapters and we’ll be back to business as usual!  
> Also, this chapter has another of the starting points for this fic, and what is probably still one of my favorite parts of the whole thing. I hope you guys will like it too!  
> As usual, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-14-**

 

Bellamy remembers the first few weeks on Earth – trying to make sure everyone stayed alive, struggling to keep the Grounders out, building the wall and shelters with what little they could scavenge from the Dropship and use from the woods.

In a lot of ways, it’s much easier this time around. After the first couple of days, for example, they have actual machines to help them, courtesy of Raven, Shaw and Jordan, which of course simplifies the work and speeds it up. Also, they’re not being attacked, so they can focus completely on getting the settlement up. And there are a lot more of them, which is of course a huge help since it means they can split up into teams and build more than one thing at a time, while also being able to spare people for hunting and gathering parties as well as cooking duty, so they don’t starve.

But sometimes he still finds himself missing the old days – and yes, he knows he sounds about eighty when he says that, thank you very much, Raven. It was simpler, in a way. He had the authority and nobody questioned it… not much, anyway. Now, there are others with more experience than him, who make suggestions when they’ve already agreed on a course of action. He tries to take everything into consideration, but there’s only so much discussing you can do before you have to move on to the actual task at hand.

They get into a routine fairly quickly, though. The mess hall takes the longest, but once they have the sawing machines, they finish it within a couple of days, and then the other public buildings in the next few weeks before moving onto the cabins.

They haven’t planned an actual number of cabins to build, just figure they’ll keep going until everyone has somewhere to sleep and maybe add some extra, just to be on the safe side. All cabins follow the same general plan, so they are more or less identical – a small, covered porch out front, a main room with a fireplace and space for a kitchen eventually, since Raven’s using her magic to create a system with running water, a washroom and two bedrooms. They leave some space around each cabin, to make sure it will be possible to expand them with more bedrooms in the future, for when people hopefully start having kids. They can’t make their own glass, so instead of windows, the cabins have one opening in each bedroom and four in the main room with shutters that can be closed against the cold or wind when needed, or opened when the weather is nice, to let the light in. They’ve used some glass from the ship as windows in the mess hall and med bay, where natural light with shelter from the wind feels more important, but they don’t want to dismantle too much of the ship, since they might still need it.

At the end of the first month, the first bunch of cabins are ready and people start moving in, children and their families first.

Which means he suddenly sees Clarke a lot more than he has in the last few weeks.

He had every intention of finding her during breakfast the day after they landed and somehow, hopefully casually, slip into the conversation that he and Echo had ended their relationship, hoping that Clarke’s reaction would at least give him an inkling of her feelings before he put his own out there.

But that idea went out the window when she made some excuse about being needed in the med bay about thirty seconds after he sat down across from her at one of the fires that morning, and since then he’s hardly seen her. She’s been in the med bay early every morning, and it’s never empty. He sees her at breakfast and dinner most days, but there’s always other people around and usually she finishes right around the time he gets there and hurries off before he has a chance to catch her. And the council meetings don’t exactly give him the possibility to talk to her, especially since she’s out the door almost before they decide to call it a day. After a week or so, when she makes excuses to Raven at dinner yet again about an early morning, saying that she needs sleep, he concludes that she’s avoiding him, plain and simple.

“You’re pretty full of yourself, aren’t you?” Raven notes drily when he runs the theory by her.

“But seriously, we’ve barely said three words to each other since we landed, and she runs off within a minute as soon as I join you guys,” he argues, trying to keep the annoyance in his voice to a minimum. It’s not Raven’s fault, after all.

She considers that for a moment. “I do see what you mean. OK, I’ll talk to her.”

But apparently not even Raven can perform miracles. At least not ones that aren’t related to technology.

“She just shut me down,” she grumbles later that day, when they’re gathered around a table in the new mess hall for dinner. As usual, Clarke is conspicuously absent. “As soon as I mentioned your name, she was all ‘Raven, I don’t want to talk about it, please just let it go’, interrupting me every time I tried to say something. And then she kicked me out of the med bay. And I mean literally, she grabbed me by the arm and walked me out of there.”

He sighs. “Maybe I should just take a hint let it go.”

“No!” Raven snaps. “You’ve been through too much together by this point to just give up. Maybe just… give her a little time?”

So he does, even if every day his hope that Clarke feels the same way as he does dies a little more when she leaves the mess hall as soon as he enters and turns to quickly talk to someone else, anyone, when he gets close to her.

But now, when she’s both living and working in the new settlement, where he spends most of his days, she’s everywhere.

He’s grumbling about it to Miller as they work on the roof of a new cabin one day, which has become almost routine at this point. Miller usually doesn’t offer much advice, mostly just grunts at appropriate intervals, but he’s a good listener. Or maybe he’s just ignoring Bellamy at this point, Bellamy wouldn’t blame him. Either way, he’s a good outlet.

“Maybe I should just forget her, move on,” he mutters. “She seems to be doing just fine with that.” He’s extra grumpy after having seen Clarke and Niylah sitting together in the mess hall last night, talking and laughing. Yes, he’s jealous, he has enough self-awareness to recognize that.

“Or maybe you should _talk to her_ ,” Miller counters, one of the few pieces of advice he’s been repeating all day.

“She clearly doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“I agree with Echo on that one, she’s just scared.”

“Of what?” Bellamy punctuates his question by hammering a nail into the roof plank, maybe a little harder than absolutely necessary.

“Does she actually _know_ you and Echo ended things?” Miller asks.

Bellamy shrugs. “She should.”

“Have you told her?”

“Again, she doesn’t want to talk to me, so no.”

“Then she might not know. You said she’s been avoiding you, maybe she hasn’t picked up on it and doesn’t want to step on Echo’s toes,” Miller reasons. “And even if she does know, there could be other reasons. Maybe she doesn’t think you’re interested, maybe she doesn’t want to be a rebound, maybe she’s worried you’ll ruin your friendship if you try something and it doesn’t work out.”

“We don’t have much of a friendship _now_ ,” Bellamy grumbles.

“Dude, I’m not Clarke, I’m just spouting ideas. The point is, you won’t know unless you. Talk. To. Her!”

He knows Miller is right, of course, but he’s scared too… not something he’d admit out loud, maybe, but he’s terrified of confronting Clarke only to find out that she hasn’t been avoiding him consciously at all, that she’s just not interested in spending time with him now that there are other people around…

“Here’s your chance,” Miller continues, and before Bellamy can figure out what he means, he calls out. “Hey, Clarke!”

And sure enough, she’s just turned onto the path between the cabin they’re building and the row of finished cabins next to it. She’s stopped in her tracks and is looking up at them, eyes slightly widened. Miller jabs him in the back and Bellamy clears his throat before speaking.

“No work in the med bay today?” he asks, kicking himself internally for not coming up with something more original. But she’s not running off yet, so he’s off to a better start than their conversations over the last few weeks.

“No, your guys must be getting better at not falling off buildings and cutting themselves with the saws,” she replies with a half-smile.

He lets out a laugh before Miller again jabs him in the back.

“Tell her you’re done for the day and ask if she wants to hang out,” he whispers, low enough that it doesn’t carry down to Clarke. They’re not actually done, but Bellamy figures he can cut out early one day. If she agrees, that is…

“We’re about done for the day here, you want some company?”

She glances around, as if hoping some excuse will just come walking by, but he knows for a fact that Madi’s in the mess hall with the other kids, having lessons with Gaia, and Clarke has already admitted to not being needed in the med bay.

“I was actually looking forward to spending some quality time with Pip and Estella,” she eventually says, and his stomach plummets, but he puts on a smile.

“Ah, reading _Great Expectations_?” Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

“Yeah. Maybe some other day?”

He knows that she doesn’t mean it, that it’s just an excuse to get him off her back, but he nods anyway and watches as she continues on her way.

“Dude!” Miller exclaims when she’s turned a corner, punching him in the shoulder. Hard, too. “Go after her!”

“She said she doesn’t want company,” Bellamy says, shaking his head and rubbing his shoulder. “And ow! What the hell, man?”

“So what?” Miller continues exasperatedly, ignoring Bellamy’s complaint. “You know she’s going to be on her own until Madi gets home, this is your opportunity to actually find out what the hell is going on with her, so take it!”

He doesn’t know if it’s Miller’s rare enthusiasm or if he’s just finally snapped, but he scrambles down from the roof and takes off after Clarke.

He catches the door to her cabin before it closes completely and follows her into the main room uninvited. She swivels around, eyes widening when she sees him in her space, and he realizes that he’s never been in here before.

“When are you going to stop avoiding me?” he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning back against the now closed door, just to avoid doing what he actually wants to do, which is cross the room, push her up against the wall and finally, _finally_ find out what she tastes like. He would prefer to have some sort of hint that this wouldn’t be met with a solid slap first.

“I’m not avoiding you,” she replies quickly, too quickly.

Bellamy shakes his head.

“Try again, Princess.”

“I’m not, seriously.” She takes a few steps to her left, towards the fireplace, which conveniently puts the rough table between them. “We talked just this morning.”

Bellamy huffs. “During an official meeting, yeah. Not what I’m talking about.”

“We have breakfast together almost every day.”

“You get up and leave like a minute after I sit down.”

Clarke throws up her hands.

“It’s not my fault we have different schedules. I have early shifts in the med bay, you always work late with construction…”

“It’s not just that,” he insists, stepping around the table so he’s right in front of her. For a moment, he thinks she’s going to bolt, but then she just straightens, raises her chin and stands her ground. “You couldn’t get out of there fast enough just now.”

He tries to hold her eyes, but she turns her head away from him, and Bellamy’s heart drops into his stomach. He has to do something, has to fix whatever it is that’s gone wrong between them.

“Did… did I do something?” he asks, hearing the way his voice wobbles a little. “I thought things were good, everything seemed to be fine when we were exploring with Raven and Shaw and Jordan, I don’t… just tell me what I did and give me a chance to fix it, please. Because this, you running off as soon as I get near you? I fucking hate it.”

Something in his voice or his words must get through, because she turns back to him, and her eyes, when they meet his, are unguarded for the first time in Bellamy doesn’t know how long. And the pain in them is clear and so raw that he almost takes a step back.

“You didn’t do anything, OK?” she assures him, but he just can’t believe her, not when she’s looking at him like that, when her voice is breaking and her breath is hitching. “This is on me. And things were fine, good, when it was just us, but… I know it’s not fair to put this on you. I just need a little time, OK? To get used to… to seeing you with… to get over these feelings.”

For a moment, Bellamy’s mind is blank as he tries to take in what she’s saying. Clarke’s dropped her eyes, focusing on the floor between them, and he desperately wants her to look back up so he can find the truth in her gaze. Because it sounded almost like…

Slowly, like she’s an animal he doesn’t want to spook, he reaches out a hand and tilts her chin up, and even though she squeezes her eyes shut, he can still take in her expression – lips pressed together in a tight line, tears sparkling in her lashes…

In the end, the decision is made with very little input from his brain, to be honest, and before he can quite grasp what’s happening, he takes a step forward, his other hand coming up to cup Clarke’s face, and then his mouth is pressed against hers.

For a moment she’s completely still, and he wonders wildly if maybe he did misread her after all. Then her lips soften under his, and when he experimentally tilts his head a little to the side, to get a better angle, she moves with him.

For a few, glorious moments, it’s like he’s finally home. He lets one hand drift down to slide around to the back of her neck, using his thumb to caress a spot under her ear, and is rewarded with a soft moan. He takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, and… she pushes him away.

“Stop,” she gasps. “I can’t… I can’t do this again.”

Bellamy’s not quite sure when his brain stopped working, but try as he might, he can’t make sense of what she’s saying.

“I don’t… when exactly did we do this before?” he finally asks.

Clarke shakes her head. “Not you, not… I can’t, I _won’t_ , be the other woman again. It hurt enough with Finn and Raven and I didn’t even…”

She cuts herself off, and when what she’s saying finally sinks in, Bellamy can’t help the laugh that bursts out of him. Clarke’s eyes immediately harden.

“It’s not funny,” she snaps at him, again pushing against his chest to get him to move so she can get past, but he doesn’t let her, instead wrapping his hands around her upper arms to keep her in place.

“I’m sorry, it’s not… I’m not laughing at you,” he assures her, which doesn’t do much to soften her expression. “I just… you said you haven’t been avoiding me!”

The hard look finally leaves her eyes and is replaced by confusion.

“I haven’t,” she insists again. “And anyway, what does that have to do with this?”

Bellamy’s fairly sure that she’s not going to make a run for it, so he takes a step back and lets go of her arms, only to run both hands through his already messy hair.

“It has everything to do with this,” he says drily. “Because if you hadn’t been avoiding me, and I’m guessing Raven too…”

“She was being pushy,” Clarke grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh, trust me, I know.” Bellamy sighs before continuing. “If you hadn’t been avoiding all of us, you would know that me and Echo, we ended things the day we landed on this planet.”

Silence fills the room for a long moment and Bellamy watches the emotions flash across Clarke’s face as she – he assumes – goes through their interactions over the last month and a half.

“But…” she finally says, voice barely above a whisper. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you’ve been avoiding me!” he exclaims, a little louder than he’d planned and she flinches a little. “And… fuck, I thought you knew, so when you started making up excuses to get out of spending time with me… I figured you just didn’t… didn’t feel the same.”

He’s completely unprepared for her hand colliding with his chest in a not too gentle punch. “Hey!”

“You idiot!” she half-yells, eyes blazing. “Why didn’t you just say something? I’ve been trying to get some distance so I could maybe, finally get over you and you just…” She trails off, angrily scrubbing at her wet cheeks, and Bellamy reaches for her again, tugging her closer by her hands this time, and to his surprise and relief, she lets him.

“I’m sorry, OK?” he says quietly when he’s finally got her close enough so he can wrap one arm loosely around her waist. He lifts his other hand to her face, gently wiping away the tears that she missed herself. “I was going to talk to you the first night, after… but you disappeared before I had a chance.”

Clarke frowns.

“I saw you and Echo together,” she admits, her fingers flexing where her hands are pressed flat against his chest. “You were talking just outside camp and then you hugged her and I just… it hurt. Raven had been nagging me to say something to you basically since she woke up from cryo, but I realized I just couldn’t, I couldn’t be that person again, and knowingly this time. That’s when I decided to back off, get some space…”

Bellamy sighs, leaning forward tentatively until his forehead is pressed against hers. Clarke looks up at him, their eyes inches apart.

“We suck at this, huh?” he notes, and she lets out a watery laugh.

“We really do,” she agrees.

“Think we can try to do better?” he asks, nose brushing against hers as he closes the distance between them slowly.

Clarke’s tongue darts out to wet her lips and he feels her hands slide up his chest and around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair.

“I think I want to try,” she replies in a whisper.

He doesn’t know who moves to close that last breath of space between them, but it doesn’t matter – all that matters is that her body’s pressed up against his, her tongue soft and sweet against his own, her arms tight around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of and somehow not enough at the same time. He needs more, needs _everything_. Slipping his hands under her shirt, he lets his fingers brush the sensitive skin just above her hips, and Clarke arches against him, her head falling back against the wall he has no memory of pushing her up against.

He would complain about the loss of her lips on his, but this gives him an opportunity to explore other parts of her and he presses an experimental kiss to her throat just below her ear, earning a soft gasp which encourages him to keep going.

As he makes his way down her throat, nipping at the skin before soothing it with a soft kiss or lap of his tongue, his hands continue their exploration of the skin still hidden under Clarke’s shirt. He wants it off, but for that he’d have to actually move away from her and that’s not even an option at the moment, so he contents himself with touching every inch he can reach, trailing one hand around to her back, his fingers slowly tracing her spine, memorizing each vertebra, while he lets the other hand continue up her side.

Clarke’s still making soft, encouraging noises in the back of her throat, her fingers buried in his hair and keeping him pressed against her. When his right hand reaches his goal and he lets his thumb graze her breast through her bra, she lets out a low moan, but at the same time, one hand comes down to wrap around his wrist.

“Wait,” she pants, and Bellamy reluctantly abandons the skin at her collar bone to pull back enough so he can meet her eyes, which are almost all pupil, just the barest hint of blue at the edges.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, voice rough.

Clarke shakes her head, as if trying to clear it.

“Madi… Madi could be home any moment,” she explains with a sigh.

They’re still pressed together, so close he can feel her heart racing and her chest heaving with every breath.

“Right.” With great effort, he takes a step backward, immediately missing the heat of her body against his. “Don’t want her walking in on anything…”

Clarke laughs, pressing her hands against her eyes for a moment before letting them fall to her side.

“Yeah, probably not a good idea,” she agrees. “Also, I just want to talk to her before we take this any further, OK?”

Bellamy nods.

“Of course, this will affect her too, she needs to be on board with it,” he says, doubt making its way slowly into his mind again. “And if she’s not…”

He lets the question hang unfinished in the air between them, and maybe there’s something in his voice or his eyes that gives away his hesitation, because Clarke reaches for his hand and squeezes it reassuringly.

“If she’s not – which I know she will be, OK, she’s been not-so-subtly nudging me for a while too – then I’ll talk to her and make her understand that this is _my_ choice. It’s what _I_ want, what I _need_ , and she doesn’t have to be happy about it, but she’s not a kid anymore – as she loves to remind me every chance she gets – so she’ll just have to get used to it.”

Clarke’s proclamation leaves Bellamy speechless for a moment. He had been so sure that she would put Madi before her own wants, the way she obviously has since she took on the role as the girl’s adoptive mother. He too thinks that Madi will be fine – happy, even – with this development in his and Clarke’s relationship, but there is still a tiny chance that she won’t be, and he’d been completely prepared for Clarke to at least put the brakes on if that were the case.

He can’t resist recapturing her lips in a slow, almost chaste kiss.

“God, I love you,” he mumbles against her mouth.

“I love you,” she returns, voice barely above a whisper, and hearing it makes something finally slot into place deep inside him. “In case that wasn’t clear.”

Remembering her earlier words about Madi coming home, he – again – pulls away from her.

“It’s still nice to hear,” he tells her with a smile. “So… we’re doing this?”

She nods once, the expression on her face one he recognizes from decisions about wars and survival.

“We’re doing this,” she repeats his words back to him.

“Just checking,” he says with a final squeeze of her hand before he lets go. “So I guess I should get out of here so you can talk to Madi when she gets back?”

“I guess you should,” Clarke agrees, the reluctance in her voice making him smile.

“See you at dinner?” he suggest, and she nods.

“See you then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, everything is finally out in the open! I really loved writing this one, diving into both Clarke and Bellamy’s feelings and trying to sort out all the misunderstandings between them. I hope you liked it too, and if you did, please take a moment to let me know – comments and kudos are always welcome!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so all feelings are out in the open, finally, right? But there are still people who need to be filled in on the situation, like Madi and the gang, and that’s what we’re doing in this chapter – some Clarke/Madi interaction, since it’s important to Clarke that Madi doesn’t feel left out and is onboard with everything, and then a big group dinner with the whole gang, and of course some good ole’ Raven ribbing! I know you’re impatient to get to the “good” part and I promise, we will, very very soon ;)  
> As usual, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-15-**

 

Clarke doesn’t move as Bellamy leaves the cabin, closing the door behind him. If she’s completely honest, she’s surprised she’s still in an upright position, her legs feel like jelly and her head is spinning, and she’s not entirely sure she’s even able to move from where she’s leaning against the wall.

If she couldn’t still feel her mouth tingling from their kiss and if her breath wasn’t still coming in shallow gasps she might think she just had a very vivid daydream. But she can still feel the pressure of Bellamy’s lips against hers, the ghost of his fingers against her skin…

She finally pushes away from the wall, going into the washroom to splash some water on her face and maybe snap out of the daze. She grabs the berries from where she dropped them on the table when Bellamy surprised her earlier and goes into her bedroom, where she curls up on her bed with her book.

None of the cabins have much furniture yet – the building work is still focused on actual housing, and other, non-essential things are going to have to wait until everyone has a roof over their head. They’ve moved cots from the ship, though, so they have somewhere to sleep, and they have a basic table and two chairs in the main room, but that’s about it.

She tries to get comfortable – fluffing up the pillows behind her, which she managed to bring with her from the ship, along with her wonderful comforter and some other bedding and clothes as well as mugs and plates and cutlery – and really get into the book, but when the front door opens a little while later, announcing Madi’s arrival, she’s read the same page about ten times without taking in a word.

“Clarke?” Madi’s voice drifts in through the open door. “What are you doing home?”

Clarke puts away the book, giving up all pretense of actually reading it, and joins Madi in the main room.

“No injuries today,” she explains. “I checked all the meds and supplies, and even cleaned, but eventually Mom sent me home since there was nothing to do.”

“And you actually went?” Madi’s eyebrows shoot up so fast it looks like they’re attached to strings.

OK, so maybe Clarke’s been working a _little_ too much lately.

“You know how Abby gets when she sets her mind to something,” she replies. “No point in arguing.”

Madi turns away and Clarke’s pretty sure she mutters something along the lines of _guess it runs in the family_ , but chooses to ignore the jab.

“So, what did you talk about at school today?” she asks, as she always does when Madi comes home.

“Mythology,” Madi replies with a shrug. “It seems kind of cool, I guess. Gaia talked about Chaos and Gaia – not herself, obviously, a goddess in, like, ancient Greece – and Titans and stuff…”

“That sounds interesting,” Clarke replies. “You should ask Bellamy about it, he loves mythology, especially the Greek.”

Madi gives her a calculating look. “Would that be OK?”

“I’ve told you that I’m not trying to keep you from spending time with them,” Clarke says. “And Bellamy might be… around more from now on.”

It’s completely silent for a moment, before Madi’s eyes widen and her mouth turns up into a wide smile. “Did you guys finally _really_ talk?”

Clarke shrugs, trying to act casual and probably failing miserably – she can feel the smile on her face. “We… talked, yes.”

She doesn’t think her slight pause is noticeable at all, but of course Madi picks up on it.

“Oh, you ‘talked’, did you?” she says, using air quotes – where did she even learn that? “Clarke and Bellamy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S…”

“OK!” Clarke cuts her off loudly. “You are spending way too much time with Raven, she’s clearly a bad influence.”

Madi laughs, a light, carefree sound that Clarke hasn’t heard a lot since Eligius landed in their valley. She’s missed it.

“That one was actually Murphy,” the girl says.

“I already knew _he_ was a bad influence,” Clarke grumbles good-naturedly.

“Nah, he’s cool.” Madi’s smile slips a little. “Wait, what about Echo? I thought…”

“Apparently they ended things right after we landed,” Clarke explains.

“Oh. That actually makes a lot of sense,” Madi says. “See, if you hadn’t been all avoiding him and stuff, you would have known that and maybe you wouldn’t have been so miserable lately.”

Clarke frowns. “Hey. I may have been a little… down, but I could never be miserable when I have you, OK? You’re the most important person in my life, don’t ever forget that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Madi brushes her off, which actually warms Clarke’s heart – it means it’s so obvious to Madi that she doesn’t even question it. “So does this mean we can actually eat dinner in the mess hall now? And hang out with everyone in the evenings? Please…”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “Yes. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my company bored you.”

Madi doesn’t even dignify that with an answer. “I’m going to go change, and then you can braid my hair again, and then we can go to the mess hall, OK?” she says as she disappears into her room.

“It’s still pretty early, dinner won’t be ready for a while,” Clarke calls after her.

“So? There’s always people in the mess hall, it’s like a… meeting place, sort of. Murphy said it’s like the canteen at Arkadia, whatever that means, and then Bellamy said ‘yeah, but without the moonshine’, so then Raven and Jordan started talking about making a… stall?”

“Still?” Clarke contributes to the tirade. “It’s what you use to make moonshine.”

“Right, so they’ve been wanting to get started on that for a while, but Raven said they have to wait until all the essential things are done, like the water system and stuff. What is moonshine, by the way?” The last sentence is muffled as Madi comes back into the main room, pulling a sweater over her head.

“It’s a type of drink that you can’t have until you’re at least eighteen,” Clarke replies, gesturing at Madi to turn around so she can re-braid her hair, which is escaping from the current braid here and there after a long day.

“Why?”

“Because it’s alcohol,” Clarke explains. “Remember when we ate those apples back in the valley, from that old, gnarly tree by the stream?”

It had been the first time they’d seen apples, or any fruit, really, since Praimfaya. In hindsight, Clarke probably should have tried them first, but Madi, who had been eight at the time, had been so excited that they’d both just dug into the fruit. Which had fermented, so after a couple of apples each, they had both been pretty loopy.

“Uh-huh.”

“Those apples were fermented, which sometimes happens with fruit and means that they had alcohol in them. You remember how you got dizzy and felt sick and had a really bad headache the next morning?"

“Oh yeah,” Madi says, and the distaste is evident in her voice. “So why would people want to drink that?”

Maybe she doesn’t have to worry about Madi wanting to try the moonshine anytime soon.

“Well, to grown-ups, it’s sort of a social thing,” she tries to explain. “Like, you and your friends might hang out and climb trees or play with Lynx. Grown-ups like to hang out and drink a little.”

“That’s weird,” Madi decides.

“It is,” Clarke agrees. “And you don’t have to try it ever, OK, not if you don’t want to. Don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise.”

“Are you going to drink it?”

“I might, just a little. But if it’s anything like Jasper and Monty’s moonshine from the Dropship, it’s not going to taste very good. OK, you’re all done.”

“Grown-ups are so strange,” Madi mutters under her breath. “Come on, let’s go.”

It turns out that Madi’s right – the mess hall is already milling with people when they get there. Clarke pauses in the doorway, unsure of where to go since she doesn’t immediately see her friends, but a moment later, Madi takes off for the far corner. Clarke follows at a more reasonable pace and spots what Madi saw when she’s about halfway through the room – Raven, Shaw and Murphy sitting at a table and Bellamy leaning against the edge of it, half-turned towards the door while he talks to their friends, as if he’s looking for her.

By the time Clarke reaches the table, Bellamy has an armful of Madi, who seems to have thrown herself at him and has wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his middle.

Bellamy raises his eyebrows as Clarke stops a few feet away. “I take it she took the news well?” he says drily, carefully disentangling Madi’s arms. The girl hops down onto the floor and claims a seat next to Raven on one side of the table.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” Clarke replies with a chuckle.

“What news?” Raven pipes up from the table, but Bellamy ignores her, taking a step closer to Clarke.

“Hey,” he says, mouth quirking up into a half-smile.

“Hey,” she repeats.

For a split second, she wonders if this will be awkward, being out in the open, but then he’s leaning down and pressing his lips to hers in a soft but chaste kiss and nope, it’s not.

Clarke wouldn’t mind deepening the kiss, but she reminds herself that they’re in public and that Madi’s just a few feet away, so when he starts to pull back after a couple of seconds, she reluctantly lets him.

“Hang on a minute,” Raven says from her spot at the table, eyes narrowed. “When exactly did _that_ happen?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Clarke tells her with a smile as Bellamy sits down next to Murphy and pulls her down in the seat next to him, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her flush against his side.

“I would, actually,” the mechanic replies. “Some of us have a lot riding on this.”

Bellamy gives her an unimpressed look. “Excuse me?”

“Well, there’s not really much to do for fun around here when we’re not busy working,” Raven defends herself. “It was just a friendly bet between friends, no big deal. Winner gets one favor of their choice, within reason, from each one of the losers.”

“And who else was involved in this bet?” Bellamy asks, clearly annoyed. Clarke’s more amused, though that might just be due to her extremely good mood.

“Well, me, Emori, Echo…” Clarke feels her eyes widen slightly. “… Jackson, Miller, Kane, Abby…”

“My _mom_?” Clarke interrupts. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah, she had, like, a month ago,” Raven reveals. “She clearly had more faith in you two than the rest of us. She was pretty disappointed.”

“I bet she was,” Clarke mutters, and Bellamy squeezes her comfortingly.

“Where was I? Oh yeah, Octavia, Jordan… not Shaw, he said it wasn’t ‘nice’ to bet on our friends…” she rolls her eyes at the man in question, “… not Madi, we don’t condone underage gambling here…” Madi giggles at that.

“And not me,” Murphy pipes in, earning a scowl from Raven.

“It was your idea,” she deadpans. “Just because you had ‘never’ doesn’t mean you get out of it now.”

“Thanks, man, nice to know you have faith in us,” Bellamy says and elbows Murphy in the side.

“Can you blame me?” he retorts. “You two have practically been moving _backwards_ since we landed on this damn planet. It seemed like a safe bet.”

“Why are we talking about the bet when they’re right there?” Emori’s voice comes from Murphy’s other side before she plops down in his lap and faces the others around the table.

“Bet’s over,” Murphy tells her. “They finally got their heads out of their asses.”

“Language, Murphy!” Clarke admonishes him, and Madi rolls her eyes.

“Really?” Emori’s eyes widen before she leans across Murphy to take a closer look at Bellamy and Clarke.

Clarke’s not sure what exactly she’s looking for, but she seems to find it, because she holds her hand out expectantly for a high five, eyebrows raised, and Bellamy reluctantly raises his own hand to slap it against hers.

“So when did this happen?” she asks. “I had last week, so unlike John, I might still be in the running.”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Raven replies, giving Bellamy and then Clarke an expectant look. “So? Spill.”

“I don’t see why it’s any of your business,” Bellamy grumbles.

“And even if we were planning on telling you, basically all our friends and family have made bets on our lives, so I think it’s safe to say that we’ve changed our minds,” Clarke adds, enjoying Raven’s annoyed expression.

“I’ll get it out of you, just you wait,” Raven half-promises, half-threatens.

As it turns out, she doesn’t have to.

They’ve just grabbed some food when Miller and Jackson appear at the table, a smug look on Miller’s face.

“It must absolutely kill you that I won the bet,” he tells Raven with a smirk.

Bellamy’s eyes widen and he reaches around Clarke to punch the other man in the shoulder. “ _You_ had today?” he asks in a disbelieving voice. “I should have known you had ulterior motives…”

“Wait a minute…” Raven gives Miller a look through narrowed eyes. “If you intervened in your own interest, I don’t know if it counts.”

“When did we decide that?” Miller counters. “All we said was pick a date and whoever’s closest wins.”

“He has a point, Raven,” Murphy says. “We never specified any conditions. And it’s not like you haven’t tried to meddle to make things go your way.”

Raven lets out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Miller, you are the winner, you are free to cash in on your favors when you want to.”

“Excellent,” Miller says happily. “I already have a couple of ideas, I’ll let you know when I decide.”

“He’s going to be insufferable now,” Murphy notes as Miller and Jackson head off again.

“Takes one to know one,” Raven replies, and Murphy throws a berry at her.

-100-

“So…” Raven says later that night, when she and Clarke are alone at the table for a moment – Madi’s been sent off to bed, Murphy and Emori disappeared some time ago, and Bellamy and Shaw have been roped into a card game with Jordan, Jackson and Miller – _I’m obviously lucky today, got to cash in on that_ – a few tables over. “What happened?”

Clarke doesn’t need to ask what she means.

“Apparently, Miller happened,” she half-jokes.

“No, I want details!” Raven insists. “I’m guessing Bellamy made the first move, since Miller was somehow involved, but how did it actually _happen_?”

“God, Raven, don’t you have your own boyfriend?” Clarke grumbles. “It’s not like you need to live vicariously through me or something…”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Raven smirks.

For a moment, Clarke falters. “I don’t know, we didn’t actually discuss labels.”

“Oh, please, that one’s a no brainer,” Raven waves her doubt off. “Now spill!”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” Clarke shrugs. “I was walking home from the med bay, Mom kicked me out early because there was nothing to do. Then I heard Miller call my name, and when I looked up they were working on the roof of a new cabin. We talked a little, and then Bellamy asked if I wanted some company, since I had some time off, and I made some excuse…”

“Of course you did,” Raven huffs. “But he wouldn’t take no for an answer?”

“He did, at first. I said maybe another day and he just nodded, so I left. I guess that’s when Miller must have said something, because just as I got home, he sort of burst through the door.”

Raven looks like a kid on Christmas. How can their friends be so invested in this? It’s mindboggling to Clarke.

“Ooh, things are about to get good,” the brunette sing-songs, and Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Anyway, he started by accusing me of avoiding him,” she continues.

“Which you have been,” Raven interjects.

“Fine, yes, I have. But I denied it of course, and we argued about it a bit and then he asked if he did something wrong, like if I was mad at him or something, I guess? I don’t know…” She pauses for a moment, the memory of the look on Bellamy’s face in that moment still tugging at her heart. “And he just… he looked so hurt, I ended up telling him everything. That I just needed some time to get used to him and Echo being together, to get over my feelings for him and…”

“But they broke up,” Raven cuts her off. “Like, ages ago.”

“Yes, I know that _now_. I guess I was too busy trying to avoid seeing them together that I didn’t notice that they actually weren’t.”

“So he told you that, right?” Raven asks, leaning toward Clarke as if she’s waiting for the best part of her favorite story.

“No, he kissed me, actually.”

“Ooh, nice, Blake, didn’t think you had it in you.”

“No, not nice,” Clarke protests. “Well, yes, the kiss was nice. But I thought he still had a girlfriend!”

Raven’s face scrunches up. “Right. Bad memories?”

“Sort of.” Clarke shrugs, and Raven reaches out to squeeze her hand. “Anyway, it’s a little blurry, to be honest, there were a lot of emotions all over the place, but I said something like, _I won’t be the other woman again_ and… he laughed.”

Raven’s completely still for a moment. “I… he _laughed_?”

“Yup,” Clarke confirms. “I mean, he apologized right away, but he did laugh. Then he said that if I hadn’t been avoiding him, I’d have known that he and Echo broke up right after we landed.”

“Which is a good point,” Raven notes.

“I know, Raven, can we be done with the whole _Clarke has herself to blame_ soon? I didn’t know that they weren’t together anymore and I was just trying to do what was best for myself in a bad situation, OK?”

Raven’s eyes soften. “I know, I do get it. But now you don’t have to…”

Clarke can’t help the smile that tugs at her mouth. “Nope.”

“So…” Raven continues, wagging her eyebrows suggestively. “How was it?”

“I’m assuming the _it_ you’re referring to is sex, in which case, it wasn’t.”

“What? You’re telling me that he kissed you and told you that he loves you – he did tell you that, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you still didn’t hit that? What is _wrong_ with you?”

“It was the middle of the day!” Clarke exclaims. “Madi was getting home at any moment, I wasn’t exactly going to jump him in my living room!” No matter how much she might have wanted to.

“That’s what your bedroom is for,” Raven says slowly, as if trying to explain why the sky is blue to a four-year-old. “Which has a door.”

“Yes, Raven, thank you. I know what a door is.”

“But clearly not how to use it.”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “You do know I technically don’t have to talk to you about this at all, right?”

“Fine, I’ll stop,” Raven agrees. “But if you’re going to have some no-sex-with-the-kid-in-the-house rule, Madi can stay with us some night. Just… think about it.”

“I might take you up on that.”

“Take her up on what?” Bellamy’s voice comes from behind her, and Clarke half-turns on the bench so she can look up at him.

“Nothing, just some girl talk,” Raven covers for her.

“Okay,” Bellamy looks between them for a moment, but then just shrugs. “You ready to head out? We both have a pretty early day tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a great plan,” Clarke agrees, accepting his hand and letting him pull her to her feet. “Night, Raven.”

“Night,” Raven replies, dragging the word out and somehow making it sound way more suggestive than should be possible.

“She being pushy?” Bellamy asks as he steers Clarke through the people still milling around the large room, one arm around her waist.

“It’s Raven, what do you think?”

He lets out a chuckle at her words. “Right. Sorry I left you all alone with her.”

“Nah, I can handle Raven. Besides, you’re probably going to get an earful about the whole laughing at me when I said I didn’t want to be the other woman thing, Raven was _not_ impressed.”

“Shit! I apologized about that, didn’t I?” he asks, glancing down at her with a contrite smile.

“You did,” she assures him. “And you’re forgiven.”

“Then I can handle Raven too. As long as you and me are good.”

She returns his smile. “We are. Very good.”

They’re almost at the door when Bellamy glances past Clarke and tenses slightly. She turns in the direction he’s looking and finds Echo at a table with some Grounders Clarke doesn’t know too well. Their eyes meet, and Clarke is suddenly very aware of Bellamy’s arm around her waist. But after a moment, Echo’s mouth turns up in a small but genuine smile, and she nods at them once before turning back to her party. Clarke feels Bellamy let out a breath next to her.

“You OK?” she asks when they’re out in the open a moment later.

“Yeah, of course,” he assures her. “I just wasn’t sure how that would go.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, slipping an arm around his waist and squeezing a little.

“I mean, she was the one who ended things, technically – even if I had a sort of vague plan for doing that once we got a little more settled down here – and she’s been kind of encouraging me since, but still…”

“Still a little weird,” Clarke offers, and he nods.

“Yeah.”

The settlement isn’t large, at least not yet, so soon – too soon – they reach Clarke’s cabin. She steps up onto the porch and turns around, realizing that they’re almost the same height with her a step above him.

“Well, this is me,” she says unnecessarily.

“I know,” he replies, but his voice has dropped an octave or so and says more than the two little words.

It’s almost completely quiet here in her little corner of the world. They’re at the end of a row of cabins where the inhabitants are either already asleep or not home yet, the row opposite not yet complete. Laughter carries on the wind from the mess hall for a moment as the door opens and then closes, but the only other sound is Clarke’s heartbeat, which is pounding so loudly in her ears that she’s sure he must hear it.

They move forward at the same time, colliding in the middle. Bellamy’s arms wrap around her waist, pulling her close, and his lips are demanding against hers. Clarke returns the favor, sneaking her arms around his neck and opening her mouth for him. He deepens the kiss and slips one hand underneath her shirt, pulling a low moan from her throat that he swallows.

The darkness feels charged, the stars above them twinkling down but no moon to light the scene. Clarke feels a surge of excitement at the thought that someone could walk by, could see them…

She’s not sure when it happened, but she’s suddenly backed up against one of the posts for the porch roof, pinned there by Bellamy’s body pressed up against hers. The hand that’s not warm against the skin on her back trails down from her waist, pauses for a moment to squeeze her butt and continues further down. A moment later, he hooks his hand around her thigh and hitches her leg up around his hips. She can feel that this is affecting him as much as it is her, and with a herculean effort, she manages to break their kiss.

“I…” she starts, but doesn’t know how to continue.

Bellamy sighs. “I know,” he replies, letting go of her leg and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “I got a little… carried away, sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize,” she says hurriedly. “Never apologize for that.”

He chuckles a little and tries to take a step back, but she still has her arms wrapped around his neck and doesn’t let go. Not just yet. Instead, she leans up on her tip-toes and kisses him, not like the kiss just a moment ago, but sweet and short.

“God, I want you,” she murmurs against his lips as she pulls back, pulling a groan from him. “I just… Madi…”

“I know,” he says again. “It’s OK, really. There’s no rush, we can take our time.”

She knows that, of course, but the thing is that she doesn’t _want_ to. “Raven offered to have Madi spend the night,” she says. “I could talk to her…”

He nods once. “Yeah, that sounds good. If it’s what you want.”

She lets out a low laugh. “What I really want is for you to take me back to your tent right now, but…”

“Trust me,” he says, pulling her hips flush against his again, “it’s mutual.”

After a moment, Clarke groans and takes a determined, if reluctant, step back. “Right, we’re going to be here all night if one of us doesn’t walk away.”

Bellamy laughs. “And you’re asking me to be the one do that?”

“I’m not completely sure I can, so yeah.”

He nods before taking a step forward and capturing her lips in one more kiss.

“I love you,” he whispers as he pulls away.

“Love you too.”

“OK, walking away,” he says, stepping backwards off the porch. “Night, Princess.”

“Night,” she replies quietly as he disappears into the darkness.

She’s pretty sure it’s going to take a while before she can sleep, considering how fast her heart is beating and how worked up she is. She wishes she had a shower so she could stand under the cold spray until her overheated skin cooled down a bit, but has to settle for splashing some water on her wrists and neck before crawling into bed. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, sexual tension all over the place! But for various reasons, I decided to do their first time together from Bellamy’s POV, so I had to break here. Which means you should be able to figure out what’s coming up in the next chapter ;) Let me know if you liked this one for now, comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, as you may have guessed, this story is going to start earning its rating. So if explicit sexual content is not your jam, you might want to skim or completely skip the second half or so of this chapter. It should be fairly obvious when things start to… heat up ;)  
> First though, we get a bit of Blake sibling interaction, which some of you have asked about. Octavia’s not going to be a big part of the story going forward either, really, but I wanted to get those two at least moving in the right direction  
> Oh, and there’s a bit of a nod to Maya in this one. The language nerd in me objects to the singular, it just sounds wrong in my ears, but after some research I’ve found that both are grammatically correct, so I have (reluctantly) left it as is  
> This chapter got away from me a little length-wise, for, you know, reasons ;) hopefully that’s not a problem  
> And finally, I don’t own anything related to The 100

**-16-**

 

Bellamy doesn’t turn around until Clarke’s been enveloped in the darkness and he can no longer see her. He’s still breathing hard and can feel his heart pounding in his chest, so he stops at one of the almost-finished cabins, leaning against the wall and taking a couple of deep breaths to get his body under control.

It’s not like he was expecting anything to happen tonight, but he still feels a hint of disappointment which he quickly shakes off. It’s not just about him and Clarke, they do have to take Madi into account and he completely understands that Clarke might have doubts about inviting him into her bedroom with her daughter asleep a few feet away.

Still, he really hopes Raven was serious about her offer to take Madi for the night. Like, soon.

He sucks in a final, deep breath of cool air and pushes away from the wall, heading off in the direction of his tent, which is still set up down in the valley. People are moving into the new cabins as they’re finished and some have chosen to sleep in the mess hall, but there’s still a bunch of people down in the temporary camp, most of them on the construction crews. Bellamy hasn’t minded sleeping down there so much before, but suddenly he wishes he was up here too, closer to Clarke.

As he passes the workshop, a figure steps out from behind a cabin and he freezes.

They haven’t had any trouble with Eligius so far – Diyoza seems to be able to keep them in line – but Bellamy’s still aware, somewhere in the back of his mind, that they are convicted felons, and not like the delinquents from the Dropship were… although a lot of them, himself included, are no doubt killers at this point, these people include murderers, rapists and other violent offenders. Most of the more volatile sided with McCreary in the battle back on Earth and were killed, but there are still people Bellamy wouldn’t particularly like to meet in a dark alley. Kind of like this one.

“Hey, big brother.”

Octavia’s voice makes him relax a little, though not completely.

They’ve been edging towards each other slowly in the last month and a half, neither completely sure of how to really fix their relationship but both wanting to. These days, his little sister is so far from the grisly Blodreina of the bunker, much more like the girl he remembers from their first few weeks on the Ground, chasing butterflies, that he actually feels like they might be able to do it, maybe even in the near future.

“Hey, O,” he replies as she steps closer and her face is lit by the glowing light from a lantern on the porch next to them. “Why aren’t you in the mess, enjoying yourself?”

She shrugs. “Tired, I was going to call it a night.”

Octavia and Jordan moved into a recently finished cabin about a week ago. At first, Bellamy had been surprised by their budding friendship, but eventually he realized that it actually made a lot of sense – Octavia spent her entire childhood and adolescence, up until she was arrested and sent to the Skybox, with just him and their mother, and Jordan spent the first 26 years of his life with only Monty and Harper. He might not have had to hide under the floor to avoid random inspections or lived in constant fear of being discovered, but it must have still been a lonely existence. The two understand each other, Bellamy supposes.

“Yeah, same here,” he replies. “Long day tomorrow, as usual.”

Octavia nods, her head tilting a little to the side. “I… I saw you and Clarke together earlier, in the mess,” she says, and for a moment, he expects her to berate him, remind him that Clarke left him to die – though he doesn’t think _Octavia_ of all people really has a foot to stand on there – but her next words surprise him. “I’m glad you two finally figured things out. It’s been a long time coming.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“I guess it has,” he admits, remembering what Raven said earlier. “I heard you were involved in that whole bet thing Murphy and Raven had going?”

She lets out a surprised laugh, and Bellamy briefly wonders when the last time he heard her laugh was. Years ago, of course… probably before Lincoln died. Guilt churns in his stomach at the memory of the man. He doesn’t think that guilt will ever really go away. And it probably shouldn’t.

“I guess I had too much faith in you, I had you down for a couple of weeks ago,” she says after a moment, a hint of teasing in her voice.

“Sorry to disappoint.”

She reaches out, tentative, and squeezes his arm for a brief second before pulling back. It’s foreign and familiar at the same time, bringing memories of her fists connecting with his face, breaking skin, but also of nights back on the Ark, when seven-year-old Octavia would crawl into bed with him after having a nightmare, and he’d hold her close and sooth her to sleep by rubbing her back.

“You could never disappoint me,” she says, voice full of emotion, and he thinks that maybe this is her way of telling him that all is forgiven. He thinks it might take him a little longer to get there, but then again, she’s had six more years. “I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it. Both of you.”

He offers her a small smile. “Thanks, O.”

She nods and smiles back at him before turning away in the direction of her cabin.

“And what about you?” he asks before she gets more than a few steps, and she turns to face him again.

“Me?”

Bellamy swallows a sudden lump in his throat before he speaks. “Do you think you can be happy again?”

She seems to contemplate his question for a long time, before she lets out a sigh. “Maybe,” she finally says. “I don’t… I’m not sure I deserve it, honestly. I’ve done so many things I can never…”

“We’ve all done things we regret, things we can never take back or make up for,” he replies when she trails off, hoping that she understands what he’s trying to tell her without saying the words out loud. “We all have blood on our hands, O. None of us is innocent.”

“No, I know that. I guess it’ll just take some time to come to terms with it.”

“Maybe… Clarke and I made a sort of pact right after we woke up on the ship,” he says. “To use this as a new chance, a clean slate. The past is the past, we can’t change it, but we can leave it where it belongs – _in_ the past – and try to make sure we deserve this new opportunity. I don’t know… maybe it can help you, to think of it like that?”

She’s almost too far away for him to be able to discern the look on her face, but he thinks there might be a small smile there.

“Maybe,” she agrees. “Thanks, big brother.”

And without waiting for a response, she slips away into the night. Bellamy doesn’t move for a moment, until he hears the sound of a door closing some distance away, and then he continues on his way.

 _All in all,_ he thinks as he descends the hill to the camp in the valley. _It’s been a pretty good day, relationship wise._

-100-

A week and a half later, Bellamy is seriously starting to wonder if something out there has it in for him.

Raven willingly offers to have a sleepover with Madi when Clarke asks her the day after their confrontation, which he finds out when Clarke surprises him halfway to the mess for lunch and pulls him into an empty storage building for a brief but heated make-out session.

“Raven’s taking Madi tonight,” she murmurs into his ear, her teeth grazing his skin and making him shiver.

“Thank you, Raven.”

Unfortunately, though, when Clarke sits down next to him in the mess for dinner later that day, her nose has turned red and her eyes are puffy.

“I think I have a cold or something,” she says hoarsely, giving him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

He wraps an arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to her temple. “Not your fault. And like I said, we’re not in any hurry.”

She buries her face against his neck, so nobody else can hear her whisper, and runs a hand up his thigh. “You may not be, but I’ve had a dry-spell for the last six years, so forgive me if I’m a little impatient.”

Bellamy’s really glad they just sat down to eat, because he can’t get up from the table for a while after that.

Clarke’s cold turns into a full blown flu by the end of the next day, and when she finally starts feeling better, Madi catches the same bug.

“I’m sure she’ll be better soon,” Clarke assures him, voice still a little hoarse, as he walks her home the first night she has dinner with him and the others in the mess again. Abby’s watching Madi for a few hours, so they’re taking a bit of a detour on their way back to her cabin, around the edge of the settlement. “I just don’t want to make her stay with Raven or Mom when she’s sick.”

“Of course not,” he agrees immediately. “Madi’s wellbeing is more important than… well, it’s what you should be focusing on right now.”

“Thank you for being so understanding and patient,” she mumbles, pulling him to a stop and wrapping her arms around him.

“Besides, I’m not sure you’re up for any… strenuous activities just yet,” he continues.

“Maybe not,” she admits, pressing a soft kiss against his neck. “But I could go for some un-strenuous activities…”

They spend the next hour or so half-lying against a tree at the edge of the hill, where they have an amazing panorama view of the valley and the sky, trading slow kisses and making up constellations for the new canvas of stars above them.

He knows that they could have snuck off to his tent, or made use of another empty storage building, and it’s definitely been tempting, but… he doesn’t want his first time with Clarke to be a quickie up against a wall – not that he would be opposed to that at a later date – or with only the tent’s canvas between them and whoever might come by. It might be a cliché, but he wants it to be special.

Still, every day it’s getting just a little bit harder to stop his hands from wandering too high under her shirt or into her pants to slip a finger into her wet heat when they say goodnight in the evening.

“Guess who’s getting laid tonight?”

He looks up as Raven flops down next to him at ‘their’ table in the back corner of the mess hall.

“Thanks, Raven, nice of you to rub it in,” he grumbles, but she just laughs.

“Actually, I wasn’t talking about me,” she says. “I mean, I don’t care if Madi’s in the other bedroom, but apparently Zeke is of the same opinion on that one as your girlfriend.”

Bellamy just stares at her for a long moment.

“Are you trying to say…”

“Bellamy, did Raven tell you we’re having a sleepover tonight?” Madi’s voice is excited and when he looks up at her, she has a huge smile on her face. “She says we’re going to braid each other’s hair, and have a pillow fight, and maybe paint each other’s nails, but I’m not sure how, we don’t have anything to paint them _with_ …”

“I think Raven’s watched one too many high school movies about sleepovers,” Clarke says as she slides into the seat beside him. She turns her head for a kiss. “Morning.”

“Morning,” he replies, placing a hand on her thigh and giving it a light squeeze. “So everyone’s all recovered?”

“Yup,” she confirms, running a finger over his hand and up his arm. Next to him, Raven snorts, and he elbows her lightly in the side. Madi doesn’t seem to notice, though, still going on about her and Raven’s sleepover.

Bellamy’s slightly distracted all morning, earning annoyed sighs from Miller whenever he spaces out and misses a question or grabs the wrong tool.

“Seriously,” Miller snaps after a couple of hours, “I almost regret helping you out if this is the way you’re going to be now that you and Clarke finally got it together. I said the _hammer_!”

Bellamy obligingly hands him the hammer and makes an effort to pull himself together. They’re finishing the roof on another cabin, and he really doesn’t want to fall off and derail the evening’s plans yet again.

He doesn’t see Clarke during lunch, since she’s busy in the med bay – it seems like the flu is making the rounds through the settlement – and maybe it’s just as well.

After they wrap up the work for the day, he stops by his tent to grab a fresh shirt and then the public washroom they’ve built for the people still in tents – it’ll be turned into a laundry room when everyone’s moved into their own cabins – before heading over to the mess. He might be obvious, if Raven’s smirk when she sees him is any indication, but he really doesn’t care. It’s not like any of their friends except Madi (or at least he really hopes so) don’t know what he and Clarke are planning tonight, so it doesn’t really matter.

Madi has a bag with her when she and Clarke join them a little while later, and he notices that Clarke’s changed too, which makes him glad he did.

“So, Mads and me have our girls night tonight,” Raven says when everyone’s gotten some food. “Anybody else have any _big_ plans?”

Bellamy almost chokes on his boar meat and gives Raven a stern look. She just smirks at him.

“Not really any plans,” Murphy replies. “But something might… _pop up_.”

Clarke _does_ choke on the sip of water she’s just taken, and Bellamy shoots daggers at Murphy and Raven as he rubs her back.

It seems to turn into some sort of challenge where their friends try to come up with the most obvious innuendo without Madi picking up on what they’re talking about. It doesn’t matter what subject he or Clarke manage to move the conversation to, someone always says something that makes the others hide their grins behind cups or hands and the color on Clarke’s cheeks to rise yet again.

“Are you OK, Clarke?” Madi asks after a particularly salacious comment from Emori has Clarke completely red. “You look a little flushed, maybe the fever’s come back?”

“I’m fine, Madi,” Clarke assures her. “Just a little hot.”

Which of course makes Murphy mutter _that’s what he said_ under his breath, but fortunately, that’s the end of it. Still, Bellamy makes a mental note to thank Shaw for not participating in the others’ little game, and to kill Raven, Murphy and Emori as soon as he comes up with a good method for getting rid of the bodies. He’s sure Clarke will help him, and she probably has enough medical knowledge to pull it off.

A little while later, Madi yawns and Raven announces that they have to get their girls night started or they’re going to fall asleep before they even get to the good stuff. They and Shaw – who has apparently been appointed an honorary girl for the evening – say their goodnights and leave.

“Well, don’t let us keep you,” Murphy says a few minutes later. “I know you have… better things to do.”

“That one wasn’t even funny,” Clarke notes.

“Maybe because I wasn’t actually trying to be,” he replies as he and Emori get to their feet. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, kids!”

“Luckily, that doesn’t really limit us,” Bellamy says, wrapping an arm around Clarke and pulling her closer.

“Mm-hmm,” she hums, burying her nose against his neck. “Want to get out of here?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

She grabs his hand and pulls him along through the mess hall and out the door. The air is cool – fall seems to finally be around the corner – which clears Bellamy’s head a little and by the time they reach Clarke’s cabin, he’s actually nervous. He feels like he’s sixteen again and meeting a girl in a supply closet on the Ark, which is silly, of course, but he can’t help it.

Luckily, he doesn’t have much time to think because as soon as the door closes behind them, Clarke pushes him back against it, one hand on his chest, and reaches up to kiss him.

He laughs against her lips. “Eager, are we?”

Clarke huffs. “Forgive me, I’ve basically been constantly horny for the last week and a half,” she says at the same time as she pulls his shirt from his pants and slides a hand underneath it. The feeling of her warm fingers against his stomach makes Bellamy shiver, and he returns the favor, slipping both hands under her shirt and up her back, pulling her closer.

“That makes two of us,” he murmurs before reclaiming her mouth, sliding his tongue along the seam of her lips and deepening the kiss when she opens up for him.

Clarke lets out a low moan and presses herself impossibly closer, her breasts flattened against his chest. Her other hand slides up his arm and shoulder before wrapping around his neck, her fingers curling into his hair, and he groans as her nails scrape against his scalp.

His senses are in overdrive, Clarke all around him – her scent washing over him, her mouth wet and hot as their tongues battle for dominance, her hand sliding down his stomach sending sparks of electricity through him. She wraps her fingers around the hem of his shirt and tugs it up, but it’s stuck between him and the door and she doesn’t get far. She breaks the kiss, a frown on her face, and Bellamy chuckles as he takes care of the offending garment himself, pulling it over his head and throwing it in the general direction of Clarke’s bedroom. She hums approvingly before tugging him down once more, her fingers curling into the waistband of his pants. Before he leans down to kiss her again, he makes short work of her shirt as well and finally, _finally_ , they’re skin on skin.

The kiss is dirty and Clarke’s grip on his hair turns almost painful when he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth. She has one hand behind her back, fumbling with something, and his dazed brain doesn’t realize what she’s trying to do until she pulls away an inch or so, letting her bra fall to the floor between them.

Bellamy wastes no time in trailing a hand up her side, thumb brushing the side of her bare beast before he flicks it over her nipple. She breaks the kiss with a gasp, her head falling back, and he takes the opportunity to trace kisses down her throat. The angle isn’t right, though, so he turns them around so it’s Clarke up against the door instead. Hooking his hands under her thighs, he lifts her up so she can wrap her legs around his waist, grinding his hips against hers and making them both moan with the friction.

He sets out on the path he abandoned a moment ago, pressing kisses against her throat, shoulder, collar bone, all the way down to her chest. He sucks a bruise into the side of her right breast, knowing that she’ll kill him if he leaves a mark where Madi can. He sooths the spot with a kiss and then moves to her nipple, twirling his tongue around it before pulling it into his mouth, letting his teeth graze the now-hardened bud. Clarke’s nails dig into his back, but the pain barely registers.

“Bedroom,” she pants after a moment, and he reluctantly releases her breast so he can meet her eyes.

“Yeah?” he asks, wanting to make absolutely sure, and she nods impatiently.

There’s a lantern lit in the fireplace, which he now vaguely registers for the first time, so the room is bathed in a golden glow that helps him navigate around the table and through the door into Clarke’s bedroom. He leaves it open, to let the light into the room, and gently lays her down on the narrow cot.

“Off,” she orders, tugging at his belt before moving to unbutton her own pants.

Bellamy happily complies, though he has some trouble with the button and has to focus for a moment to get it open. When he’s finally gotten his pants and underwear off, he finds Clarke already naked on the bed, legs falling open slightly for him. He freezes for a moment, breathing hard, and just takes in the sight before him.

“Stop it,” she mumbles after a while. “You’re making me self-conscious.”

“No.” He shakes his head as he crawls onto the bed, kneeling between her thighs and bracing one hand beside her head. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “You’re so corny.”

Bellamy doesn’t reply, just half-shrugs.

The moment has broken the frantic pace from just a few minutes ago, and he leans down to kiss her, slow and deep. She makes a content sound in the back of her throat and wraps an arm around his neck, pulling him down further.

He shifts so he’s leaning on his elbow and covers her breast with his hand, squeezing lightly before he pinches her nipple a little, making her back arch off the bed. He doesn’t linger, though, instead trailing down her stomach and lower, tracing a finger along her slit before slipping it inside, finding her wet and hot. Her hips buck slightly against his hand, and he curls his finger, finding that sweet spot deep inside her and making her moan into his mouth.

He keeps up the slow, deep strokes with one finger, then two, thumb brushing against her clit every few strokes and soon, Clarke’s thrashing underneath him. She breaks the kiss, panting and eyes squeezed shut, as he feels the first tell-tale fluttering of her orgasm around his fingers.

“Please, please, please, I’m so…” she breaks off and gasps as he sucks a nipple into his mouth and presses his thumb harder against her clit, and then she’s falling apart.

He lets her ride out the orgasm, removing his thumb after a moment but continuing the slow strokes of his fingers deep inside her. After a couple of minutes, she blinks up at him almost sleepily and he smiles.

“Good?” he asks, and she hums in affirmation, pulling him down for a kiss.

He willingly humors her for a few minutes, letting her catch her breath, before he breaks away. Again, he trails kisses down her throat to her chest, where he gives both breasts equal attention before venturing lower, dipping his tongue into her belly button and letting his teeth graze her hip bone. He’s just pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh when he feels her hand wrap around his where it’s resting on her stomach, and he looks up.

“Later,” she says, voice husky, tugging him up. “We have all night. I want you inside me.”

And, well, he’s not going to say _no_ to that, so he obediently crawls up her body, kissing her as he lines himself up with her entrance, coating his length with her juices.

He breaks the kiss after a moment, though, and keeps his eyes intent on her face as he slowly starts pushing into her. If he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t have noticed her slight wince or sharp intake of air, but he does. And instantly freezes.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”

“I’m OK,” she assures him quickly. “It’s just… it’s been a while, it’s a little… uncomfortable.”

He instantly feels like the biggest jerk on the planet. “Shit, I should have thought about that. Do you want to stop? We don’t have to do this tonight, we can…”

“No, no, no, don’t you dare,” she cuts him off, her knees tightening around his hips, keeping him in place. “Just… give me a moment? And maybe take it slow?”

“I can do slow,” he promises, capturing her lips in a kiss, carefully keeping still to avoid pushing deeper into her.

Clarke softens a little into the kiss, but he can tell that she’s still really tense and he knows that just won’t do.

“Relax, baby,” he murmurs against her lips before kissing her nose, her cheek, her temple. “I’ve got you… let me make you feel good.” He pulls her earlobe into his mouth for a moment, then moves to her throat, pressing kisses against the sensitive skin just below her ear, which earns him a gasp. Encouraged, Bellamy kisses his way along the underside of her jaw and repeats the motion on the other side.

He can feel her body slowly relaxing and trails a finger from her hip up her side, feeling goosebumps rise in its wake. His fingers are still sticky from her, and he circles her nipple lightly, spreading it there, before he dips his head down to pull the bud into his mouth and lick her taste off. Clarke lets out a low whine and he feels her fingers tighten in his hair.

When he lifts his head from her breast, she leans up for a kiss and he lets himself get lost in it. A few minutes later, he feels her shift her hips slightly underneath him, the movement pulling him infinitesimally deeper. He takes this as a silent sign that it’s OK for him to move again, and pulls out slightly before pushing back in, just a little further than before.

“OK?” he murmurs against her lips, getting a frantic nod in return.

He keeps his thrusts slow, easing just a little bit further inside her with each one. Clarke’s right hand is wrapped tightly around his upper arm, the other clutching at the sheet beneath her, but the low sounds she lets out each time he pushes deeper into her tells him it’s not from pain.

When he’s finally completely buried inside her, he stills for a moment to let both her and himself adjust to the new sensation.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” he breathes, his forehead pressed against hers.

“Right back atcha,” she mumbles, bending her knees a bit more to give her better leverage and pushing up against him.

Bellamy takes the hint and pulls out, almost all the way, before pushing back in, still keeping his movements slow but putting more force behind them.

“Oh God,” she moans, hand scrabbling against the wall beside them for purchase.

He interlaces his fingers with hers, pushing first one of her hands and then the other up above her head and pinning them to the bed, holding himself up slightly on his elbows. The new position puts them flush against each other from hip to shoulder, their bodies slick with sweat and sliding together with ease. It also gives his thrusts a new angle where his pelvic bone grinds against Clarke’s clit each time he pushes into her or pulls out, which drags a high-pitched keen from her.

“Like that, oh fuck, that feels so good.”

He presses a hard kiss to her lips, swallowing her moans and letting her swallow his, as he picks up the pace just a little and puts a bit more force behind each thrust. She meets every one, her hands running along his back, nails scraping against his skin or briefly digging into it. The feeling, somewhere in the shadowland between pain and pleasure, pushes him faster towards his own climax and he knows that he won’t last much longer, but he’s determined to bring her over the edge once more before he falls apart himself.

The only warning of her orgasm he gets this time is her entire body going completely still for a split second, then she’s pulsing around him, breaking the kiss and throwing her head back, a long, low moan escaping her lips.

Bellamy keeps up his movements as she shakes and trembles beneath him, burying his face against her throat and murmuring a litany of _I love you, I love you, I love you_ into her skin.

When she finally comes down, she wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper.

“Come on, Bell, let go for me, let me feel you,” she whispers into his ear, and it only takes a handful of thrusts at this new angle before he heeds her request.

He has enough presence of mind to flip them over before collapsing completely, so he’s on his back with Clarke half on top of him. For a long time, the only sound in the room is their ragged breaths as they slowly return to normal.

Clarke is the first to speak. “Well, that was almost worth the wait,” she notes breathlessly.

Bellamy chuckles. “Just almost?”

She pushes herself up a little on one elbow and leans her chin against his chest, one hand sliding down his stomach. He sucks in a breath as her fingers dance lightly over his hip bone and her lips quirk up in a smile.

“The night’s not over yet.”

“I know girls have, like, a nonexistent recovery period, but I’m going to need at least another ten or fifteen minutes before I’m ready to go again.”

She raises her eyebrows and keeps their eyes locked as she moves to press a kiss to his chest before letting her teeth brush lightly across his nipple, sending a spark through him.

“Is that a challenge?” she asks, and damn it if he doesn’t feel himself harden slightly already.

“Not how I intended it, but feel free to take it that way,” he tells her feebly as her hand trails lower, bypassing the spot where he wants it the most. A moment later, she drags blunt nails along the inside of his thigh.

“I think I will,” she mumbles as she focuses her attention on his throat and chest, kissing, licking and nibbling her way across the skin. He’s pretty sure there will be at least a couple of marks in the morning, but he already left his on her, so it’s not like he can complain. And the thought is a bit of a turn-on, honestly. Her hand is still occupied further south, tracing patterns across his thigh, hip bones and stomach.

When she finally reaches her goal, he’s already more than half-hard, and her finger trailing up his shaft makes his dick twitch in anticipation.

She doesn’t wrap her hand around him, like he expected, though. Instead she pushes herself up further, meets his eyes and slips her finger into her mouth. He knows he’s still covered in her juices, and seeing her suck them off her own finger is incredible erotic.

She’s not done, though, and he’s helpless to do anything other than just watch her as she lowers her lips to his chest again before making her way down his stomach. She maintains eye-contact the whole time, even as she finally twirls her tongue around the head of his dick before wrapping her lips around it. At that point, though, he has to squeeze his eyes shut against the intense feeling.

He buries a hand in her hair, fighting hard to not direct her movements, as she takes him as deep as he can. She pauses for a moment before sliding back up, repeating the motion, and Bellamy can’t help but jerk his hips slightly in time with it. She hums in the back of her throat, the vibrations adding to the feeling, and then hollows her cheeks out, sucking him hard.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans, and she releases him with a wet sound.

“Yes, please.”

“Get up here then.”

She laughs lowly as she shifts so she has one leg on either side of him. Her knee almost slides off the cot and Bellamy quickly wraps his hands around her thighs to keep her steady.

“This bed is definitely not made for two people,” he notes.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replies, bracing her hands against his chest. “I think this is working nicely.”

“Not ideal for sleeping, though.”

She gives him a smile that’s bordering on predatory. “Good thing I’m not planning on doing a lot of sleeping, then.”

He groans as she grinds down on him, fingers tightening around her thighs. “Jesus, woman, you’re going to be the death of me.”

She just moans and repeats the motion. “I thought you said you needed another fifteen minutes?”

He’s rock hard against her folds by now, which she must feel.

“I stand corrected,” he manages to get out through gritted teeth.

“Oh, you definitely do.”

She slips one hand between them to wrap around him, shifts her hips just slightly, and then she’s sinking down on him, taking him in all the way in one fluid motion. She lets out an almost content sigh, head falling back slightly as she stills for a moment to get situated.

It might be the hottest thing he’s ever seen – Clarke straddling him, mouth slightly open and breasts heaving with her deep breaths, nails digging into his skin just a little where her hands are braced against his chest.

Yeah, she might be the death of him.

But what a way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, there we go – I hope it was worth the wait! It’s been a while since I wrote sex scenes so I'm kind of nervous about this chapter, so if you liked it, do let me know, comments and kudos are always appreciated and do wonders to quiet writer’s doubts


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, updating a little early this week since I won’t be home tomorrow. We’re picking up where we left off in the last chapter, basically – the next morning, anyway – so if you’re not into smut, skip ahead to the first break (which is indicated by -100-) and you should be good!  
> Also, I try to always respond to comments, but I realized that I’ve been neglecting those of you who leave kudos, so a big thanks to everyone who’s done that – this story’s at 400 kudos now, and I’m so grateful for all of you!  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-17-**

 

They do fall asleep at some point, despite the narrow cot, though it’s probably well into the small hours. Clarke’s the first to wake up in the morning, on her side dangerously close to the edge of the cot and with Bellamy’s chest about an inch from her nose. Her comforter is spread over both of them, enclosing them in their own little warm bubble in the otherwise cool room. As far as she remembers, it ended up on the floor pretty early on last night, so Bellamy must have gotten it after she fell asleep and covered them up.

She moves her head a little so she can look up at him, taking in his features deep in sleep. He looks younger like this, beard notwithstanding, with the almost constant worry-lines along his forehead smoothed out, mouth slightly open and not set in a tense line.

She stretches as much as she can without falling off the cot, wincing slightly at the soreness between her legs. She’s sure it’ll be a few days before it passes, but it’s a just slightly uncomfortable reminder of an amazing night, so she’ll gladly take it. Hopefully her body will get used to it when last night’s activities become more of a regular part of her life, which she’s really hoping they will.

“Morning.” Bellamy’s gravelly voice lets her know that he’s awake too.

“Morning,” she replies, tilting her head up for a kiss which he returns lazily for a moment.

“Mm, morning breath,” he notes.

“Don’t care.”

He pulls away slightly, a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I wasn’t talking about me.”

Clarke swats at his chest but he just laughs before going in for another kiss, this time tracing his tongue along the seam of her lips and deepening the kiss when she willingly opens up for him.

She sighs into the kiss, sliding her hand up his chest to wrap around his neck and inches forward, feeling his morning wood press against her thigh. Bellamy’s hand, which had been resting against her waist over the comforter, slips under it, his fingers trailing down her side, where the touch makes goosebumps appear, and around her back before he pulls her flush against him and wedges a knee between her legs. She grinds against him, nails digging into his scalp at the slight burn the friction causes.

Which he of course notices.

“How’re you feeling today?” he asks against her lips.

“Amazing,” she replies, sliding her foot along his leg.

“Not too sore?” he insists.

She considers brushing it off for a moment, knowing that he’ll make a big deal out of it if she lets him, but ultimately decides against it. She doesn’t want to lie to him, not even about little things like this.

“A little,” she admits, feeling him tense under her touch. She quickly continues, before he can pull away. “But it’s a _good_ kind of sore.”

He shifts back a little to be able to give her a doubtful look. “A _good_ kind?”

Clarke doesn’t let his dubious tone discourage her, instead sliding her hand down his neck to his shoulders, where she’s pretty sure she left some scratch marks at some point in the night. She runs her nails just lightly over the slight welts and hears him suck in a breath as his dick twitches against her thigh.

“OK, I guess I see what you mean,” he admits grudgingly. “But you have to tell me if it gets to be too much, OK? I don’t want to hurt you.””

“You won’t, I promise,” she murmurs against his lips before claiming them in another kiss, deep and dirty.

Bellamy’s hand flexes against her back briefly before sliding around to her ribcage. He pulls the comforter down to expose her chest before brushing his thumb against her nipple, which has already pebbled in the cool air. Her back arches against his touch almost of its own accord, and he plays lazily with her breast, letting a blunt fingernail graze over the bud.

Within a minute of his focused attention, Clarke’s breath is coming in ragged gasps and she has to break the kiss to suck in some much needed air. She feels Bellamy’s lips press against her chin, trailing down her throat, and then he’s sucking her nipple into his mouth and she can’t help the whine that escapes her at the feeling of his mouth around her.

Needing to be even closer to him, she slides her leg up to hitch around his hip. The cover gets in the way a little, her foot tangling in it, and she kicks at it, quickly dismissing it to the floor and letting the air cool her overheated sin. When she finally gets her leg wrapped around him, she feels his quickly hardening dick brush against her curls. He moans against her breast at the feeling, but doesn’t remove his mouth, carefully teasing her nipple with his teeth as he slides his hand down her stomach and slips a finger inside her.

The double sensation of his mouth hot and wet on her breast and his finger curling into that sweet spot inside her is almost too much and Clarke has to bite her lip to keep from crying out.

Bellamy apparently interprets the slight tension in her body as a sign of pain, because he lifts his head to give her a concerned look. “OK?” he asks breathlessly, worry tinting his voice.

She pushes her hips against his hand, which stilled with his question, to get him to start moving his finger again. “So, so good,” she assures him before pulling him up for a kiss.

Fortunately, he takes the hint and she feels him slip his finger out of her, grazing her clit briefly before pushing it into her again, and her hips jerk forward.

“So wet,” he murmurs against her lips as he adds another finger, voice almost amazed.

His thumb settles over her clit, rubbing in slow circles, and Clarke can already feel her orgasm coming on. But she wants more, wants him inside her when it washes over her, remembering him mumbling how much he loves feeling her coming around his dick at some point during the night. So she tugs his hand away, making Bellamy pull away to frown down at her. She doesn’t offer any explanation, simply pushes her heel against his back, urging him closer, and slips a hand between them. He’s more than hard enough beneath her fingers and she rubs her thumb over the head, spreading the wetness there and watching as his mouth falls open and his eyes roll back a little at the feeling, before positioning him at her entrance and bucking her hips slightly, which pushes just the head of him inside her.

He takes over from there, easing into her slowly until he’s completely buried inside her. They let out simultaneous moans as he bottoms out, and Clarke lets her eyes fall shut for a moment.

It’s lazy and unhurried, the position and narrow cot limiting their movements but making it intimate in a way she can’t quite put her finger on. They’re skin to skin from head to toe, Clarke’s outstretched leg pressed against Bellamy’s, her bent leg wrapped around his hips, directing his movements slightly, and their upper bodies pressed together to the point where she’s not sure where she ends and he begins.

Their eyes are locked together, mouths a fraction of an inch apart, breathing synched so when she exhales, he inhales the breath she just released and vice versa.

Clarke’s orgasm was already building deep inside her, so when he somehow manages to get a hand between them to rub at her clit, it doesn’t take much to send her flying over the edge.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God…” she gasps, eyes squeezed shut, Bellamy’s mouth latching onto a particularly sensitive spot on her throat and intensifying the swells washing over her. She feels his hand wrap around her thigh, pulling her leg even higher against his hip, changing the angle slightly and allowing him to push deeper into her. Before the last wave of her own climax fades, his thrusts turn rough and sloppy, and then she feels him pulsing deep inside her.

They don’t move as they both come down, Clarke’s leg still thrown over his hip. She feels him soften inside her, and he makes a move to shift away and pull out, but she lets out a disgruntled sound and tightens her leg around him. He chuckles a little, but stays where he is, his hand trailing up her back to wrap lightly around her neck so he can tuck her head against his chest. A moment later, she feels a soft kiss against her hair and responds by pressing one against his collar bone.

“OK, morning sex,” Bellamy says when they’re both breathing normally again, “definitely top three so far.”

“Oh yeah,” she agrees. It might even be her favorite.

Every single time their bodies were joined together during the night – she’s lost count by now – was amazing, and at one point he made her come so hard she swears she blacked out for a moment. But there’s something about the early morning light through the cracks around the closed shutter in the bedroom that makes this _more_ , somehow. More special, more intense, more intimate. As if making love in the light of day makes them official, which she knows is ridiculous. But Bellamy’s tracing slow patterns along her side with one finger, shifting back a little to be able to seek her lips out for a slow, leisurely kiss, and she thinks that maybe he feels it too.

-100-

In the end, it’s Clarke’s stomach rumbling angrily that gets them out of bed. It’s Sunday, or the day they’ve decided to call Sunday, anyway, and almost everyone in the settlement has the day off. There’s no construction work, no hunting parties going out, only essential tasks like cooking and, if need be, medical treatments taking place, but Clarke has already cleared it with her mom that she has the day off. She’s not completely sure when Madi plans on leaving Raven and Shaw’s, they didn’t agree on anything yesterday, but she trusts her friend to be able to deter any attempts at returning home too early.

They scour the cabin for the clothes discarded last night and when they’re both presentable – Bellamy has a hickey that’s just peeking out above the collar of his shirt, but there’s not much they can do about that now, Clarke just makes a mental note to keep them contained further south in the future – they leave the cabin and head off towards the mess hall.

“I was thinking…” he starts as they walk, squeezing her hand. “I have an extra cot in my tent that’s not doing much good just sitting there, I could maybe move it up here to your place, give us a bit more space?”

It’s not like she thought last night was a one-time thing, but hearing him talk about a future still makes Clarke’s heart soar.

“That sounds like a good idea,” she agrees. “I mean, not that I mind sleeping mostly on top of you, but it’s probably not ideal in the long run. And we won’t have to worry about falling out of bed, which would be a bonus.”

“Mm-hm,” he hums in assent, leaning in and stealing a quick kiss. “So do you want to wait and do that the next time Madi’s having a sleepover at Raven’s or your mom’s…” He lets the question trail off, and Clarke sighs.

She’s definitely glad they waited until Madi was out of the house this first time – she was able to let go and get caught up in the moment and Bellamy in a way she knows she wouldn’t have been able to if the girl had been asleep on the other side of the cabin – but it’s not like every night will be like this, especially if they settle into some kind of routine with regular sex. She can sense that Bellamy’s nervous next to her, his grip on her hand tense, waiting for her answer, and she knows he won’t push it if she does say that she thinks that’s the best course of action.

“Madi’s a smart kid,” she says finally. “Even if Raven, in some insane stroke of luck, didn’t let anything slip last night, I’m sure she’s figured it out on her own.”

Bellamy turns her around so they’re face to face, pulling her closer with a hand on her lower back.

“Thank God,” he sighs. “I mean, it’s up to you, you know that, I would never go against what you think is best for Madi or try to push you into something you’re not comfortable with, but I really wasn’t looking forward to having to wait another week or two or even longer before I get you all to myself again.”

“Mmm, me neither. Good thing we won’t have to then,” Clarke says, standing up on her toes to kiss him. “We’ll just have to, you know, keep the volume down a bit when she is home.”

He chuckles against her lips. “I’ll do my best not to make you scream too loudly,” he promises, voice low, a hand slipping underneath her shirt to tease the skin at her side.

“Oh, that one’s definitely a two-way street.” She deepens the kiss, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth and letting her teeth graze it, to drive the point home.

“Jesus Christ!”

Murphy’s voice makes them jump apart and Clarke turns to find him and Emori a few feet away. Right, they’re out in the open in the middle of the settlement. They’re probably lucky Madi didn’t catch them.

Murphy shakes his head. “You two have been cooped up in your cabin for the last twelve hours,” he says drily. “Shouldn’t you be all fucked out for at least a little while?”

“Leave them alone, John,” Emori admonishes him. “They’re in the honeymoon phase, you know what that’s like.”

“I’m pretty sure we spent our honeymoon phase in the wasteland, robbing unsuspecting passersby,” Murphy notes.

“Mm, good times.”

Clarke’s pretty sure their definitions of ‘good times’ don’t exactly match. She’s also pretty sure she’s just a little bit afraid of Emori.

They continue together to the mess, which is still full of people despite it being late morning, everyone taking their time to enjoy breakfast on their day off. Raven, Madi and Shaw are already seated at their regular table, along with Jordan, who usually joins them for at least one meal a day.

“Morning, kiddo,” Clarke greets Madi, ruffling her hair. “Did you have a good sleepover with Raven?”

“It was great!” the girl gushes. “We did everything Raven said, even painted each other’s nails.” She holds out her hands to show Clarke, and sure enough, her nails are tainted a purplish color.

“That’s nice,” Clarke replies, giving Raven a questioning look.

“It’s just some of those blue berries mixed with some grease,” Raven tells her in a reassuring voice. “It’ll probably wear off during the day, but we had fun.”

“I’m glad,” Clarke says, offering her friend a smile. “OK, I’m going to grab some breakfast.”

“Get me some too?” Bellamy asks, and she nods, leaning down for a kiss before heading off to the line in the middle of the room to the counter where food is handed out.

“Good morning.” Her mom’s voice makes Clarke look up.

“Hi, Mom. How’s the flu situation?”

“It’s under control,” Abby assures her. “No new cases in two days, so hopefully we’re through the worst. No need for you to come in on your day off.”

“OK, good, but let me know if you do need help.”

“I will, but not today. If something does come up, I can get Jackson, construction’s down for the day anyway.” She glances over Clarke’s shoulder at the table she left a moment ago and a small smile tugs at her lips. “I’m sure Bellamy wouldn’t appreciate me stealing you away on your first day off together.”

Clarke can’t help the blush that spreads up her throat at that. This is her mom – Abby might have given Clarke the birds and the bees talk when she was eleven, complete with diagrams that had made her red like a tomato, but she’s not sure she’ll ever be OK discussing that part of her life with her mom. They haven’t really been able to sit down and talk in the last week and a half, with Clarke getting sick and Abby busy in the med bay with the other flu cases, and then even more sick people keeping both of them swamped once Clarke did start working again, so she hasn’t actually come out and told her mom that she and Bellamy are a thing now. Still, she’s pretty sure word must have gotten around to her, with the way some of the people in the settlement like to gossip.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad you two managed to work things out in the end,” her mom continues before Clarke has a chance to say anything.

“Thanks, Mom.” A thought occurs to her and she continues with her eyes slightly narrowed. “But don’t think I don’t know about you being in on Raven and Murphy’s little bet.”

Abby’s eyes widen slightly. “Ah, that. I don’t suppose I can claim peer pressure?”

They’ve reached the food counter by now and Clarke puts some fruit and berries in one bowl, bypassing the meat – she thinks it’s a little too heavy so early in the morning – and grabbing two bowls of a type of porridge they’ve started making using a kind of root that’s apparently very rich in vitamins and tastes surprisingly good.

“Nice try, Mom,” she says when she’s maneuvered so she can carry all three bowls back to the table.

“It was worth a shot,” Abby replies. “I really am happy for you, though, I hope you know that, honey.”

Her hands are full, so Clarke leans in to give her mom a kiss on the cheek. “I do, but thanks for saying it anyway. Have a good day, OK, and I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure thing.”

She makes her way back to their table, depositing the bowls on it before sitting down in the seat Bellamy’s saved for her next to him.

“Everything OK with your mom?” he asks quietly and she nods.

“Yeah, fine. She’s got the flu situation under control and promised she won’t call me in today.”

“Whatever will we do with all that free time?”

The question is loaded, and Clarke can feel the electricity surging between them.

Raven clears her throat pointedly, and Clarke reluctantly tears her eyes from Bellamy’s to turn to the mechanic.

“Madi and I were talking about going down to the lake,” she says. “Right, Madi?”

“Oh yeah,” Madi says, nodding quickly. “Will you come with us, please? It might be the last day it’s warm enough to go swimming…”

Clarke’s gut reaction is to say no, Madi’s just gotten over the flu and she doesn’t want to risk her getting sick again. Even if the water is still pretty warm and the day is sunny so far, that can change quickly. But the hopeful smile on the girl’s face gives her pause.

“Sure, that sounds like fun,” she agrees, glad that she did when Madi whoops.

“Absolutely,” Bellamy adds. “We’ll even pack a picnic and have lunch down there, sound good?”

“Yes!” Madi exclaims.

“But you have to promise to get out of the water when I tell you, OK?” Clarke continues, giving the girl a stern look. “I don’t want you getting sick again.”

“OK, fine,” she agrees with an exaggerated eye-roll.

They end up inviting Octavia, Miller and Jackson as well, and soon enough they’re heading down the hill to the lake, a couple of baskets of food and one full of blankets in tow.

They lay the blankets some ways from the water, and Clarke promptly flops down on one of them, stretching out on her back. Raven claims the blanket next to her while Madi immediately strips down to a tank top and shorts and takes off into the water. The bottom slopes downwards and about fifteen yards from the beach, she’s at shoulder height.

“Not any further!” Clarke yells after her, which Madi of course ignores.

“You’re such a mom,” Raven chuckles beside her. “She can swim, right? She’ll be fine.”

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” Clarke shrugs. She still remembers teaching Madi to swim in the small lake in the valley back on Earth, how terrified the girl was the first time they ventured into the deeper water, how she wouldn’t let go of Clarke, her legs clamped around Clarke’s waist like a vice.

“Aren’t you two coming in?” Shaw asks as he and Bellamy stop in from of them. Shaw has already removed his shirt and pants and drops them at the edge of Raven’s blanket.

“We’re good here for a while,” Raven replies. “I want to enjoy the sun for a bit, warm up.”

“You know that’ll only make the water colder once you do get in, right?” Bellamy asks, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it at Clarke. She catches it easily, bunching it up and putting it under her head as a makeshift pillow.

Raven’s eyes rake over Bellamy’s bare chest before she turns to Clarke. “Damn, girl!”

For a moment, Clarke’s speechless – is Raven seriously checking out _Bellamy_ in front of Clarke herself _and_ Raven’s own boyfriend? But then she remembers that it’s nothing Raven hasn’t seen before, and her eyes fall to the handful of purplish hickeys that adorn Bellamy’s skin. She immediately feels the heat rising in her cheeks.

“Hey, boyfriend right here,” Shaw objects, waving a hand in the air.

Raven blows him a kiss. “Relax, babe, I was just checking out my girl’s handiwork.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Bellamy. “Wild night, Blake?”

“Bite me, Reyes,” he retorts before discarding his pants as well and heading into the water after Madi. Shaw throws Raven another quizzical look before following.

Raven turns to Clarke with a mischievous look on her face. “Looks like _somebody_ already did.”

Clarke buries her face in her hands. “Cut it out, Raven,” she begs, but Raven just chuckles.

“What? I’m just glad you two… enjoyed the kid-free night I helped made happen is all.”

They definitely did…

“So…” the mechanic continues after a moment. “I don’t want details or anything, but scale of one to ten…”

Clarke lets her hands fall to the blanket and stares up at the sky above them, snippets of last night flashing through her mind.

“Eleven. Definitely eleven. And not even because it’s literally been ages.”

Raven nods thoughtfully. “No, I get it. I mean, it’s been a while but I’d definitely give him a solid eight and a half, maybe even a nine, but… it’s different, when it’s with someone you…”

She doesn’t complete the sentence, but Clarke knows what she means.

“Definitely,” she agrees, and they exchange a knowing smile before turning to the lake, where Bellamy, Madi, Shaw and Miller are chasing each other around in the water. As they watch, Bellamy catches Madi, wraps his hands around her waist and tosses her into the air. Her happy shriek as she splashes back into the water a couple of feet away makes the smile on Clarke’s face widen.

It’s a good day.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning update today, since it’s Father’s day here in Sweden and I’m heading over to my parents’ a little later to celebrate my dad and grandpa, so I’m not sure when I’ll be home tonight and I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting until tomorrow!  
> I had a comment on the last chapter about the unprotected sex thing and figured I should address that. Some sort of contraceptive implants have been mentioned on the show, though just (correct me if I’m wrong) one time, in episode 1, season 3 where Jackson tells Abby that they have people waiting to have theirs removed. This obviously didn’t develop into anything plot wise, so I can only assume it was thrown in there to explain why none of the girls got pregnant at the Dropship, despite a hundred horny teenagers and no adult supervision… Right, so here’s my take on that whole thing: When girls hit puberty on the Ark, they get a life-long contraceptive implant. I know this technology doesn’t exist at the moment, but I actually think it makes sense with the show – why would you need to have an implant removed if it’s just good for 4-5 years? I’m not sure why anyone would have wanted to remove it either, honestly, at that point in the show, was there some sort of re-population plan we weren’t told about? Anyway, it also fits with Monty and Harper just having the one kid (I know there could be other reasons for this as well). So, when a woman is married, or at least in some sort of Ark approved relationship, she can apply to have the implant removed temporarily so she can have one child. After that, it’s put back in, or another one is, and not removed until it’s no longer biologically needed. They obviously don’t sterilize women once they’ve had a kid (see Octavia), but I doubt the Ark, which executes people for having more than one child, would leave birth control up to the people themselves. Obviously (again, Octavia) this technology isn’t completely reliable – make of that what you will ;)   
> A tiny bit of smut at the end of this one, nothing explicit (at least I don't think so), but if you don’t want to read that, just skip the last two sentences  
> And as always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-18-**

 

The water is still nice, and the day is sunny and warm – maybe one last hurrah of the summer, like Madi said. Lately, there has been a bit of a bite in the air in the early morning and late at night, and the winds aren’t as pleasant when they whirl around the buildings on top of the hill as they used to be, so Bellamy suspects fall is right around the corner.

They have no idea, really, what the seasons will be like on this new planet. The summer has seemed a little warmer than the summer on Earth, or at least the summer in the area of Earth where they landed, so he’s quietly hopeful that maybe the winter won’t be as harsh as it was there either. Construction of the cabins should be finished within a month or so, hopefully well before the temperature drops too much, and they’ve made sure that all buildings can withstand cold and even snow, if it comes to that, but still… he would definitely prefer the weather _not_ testing their building expertise.

Madi shrieks with laughter when he launches her into the air so she splashes into the water, so he, Miller and Shaw take turns throwing her as far as they can for a while, until she’s completely soaked from head to toe and shaking her head like a dog to get the water out of her ears.

After a while, Jordan and Octavia join them in the water and the activities slow down a little, Octavia showing Madi how to do a handstand and summersaults under the water while the rest of them throw a ball someone’s made around. Bellamy almost drops it several times because he’s too preoccupied watching his sister with Madi, the two laughing and splashing each other, showing off with different tricks. They look happy, and just seeing that makes a warm feeling bloom in his stomach.

They get out of the water for some lunch a little later, to find that Clarke and Raven have moved all the blankets together to form a large seating area where they’ve arranged the food they’ve brought down. Bellamy can’t help but shake his head so he showers Clarke with water droplets before slumping down beside her, and she shoves him away playfully.

“I was so nice and warm,” she complains, wiping away some water from her arm. “You got me all wet.”

He chokes on the laugher bubbling up in his throat and it comes out more like a huff. “You want to maybe… rephrase that?” he asks innocently, raising an eyebrow.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she shoots back, sticking her tongue out, which doesn’t help much.

“Maybe I don’t want to,” he replies, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into his lap.

“OK, no fooling around at the dinner table,” Raven announces sternly.

“Oh, please,” Clarke snorts. “Like we don’t have to put up with you two making moon eyes over dinner every night.”

In response, Raven throws some berries at them, which bounce onto the blanket.

“Thanks, Reyes,” Bellamy says, picking up a couple and popping them in his mouth. She narrows her eyes at him, but doesn’t say anything else and their picnic continues.

After they finish eating, Clarke insists that Madi stay out of the water for a while, so they all lounge around on the blankets in solidarity. The sky above them is a deep blue, the sunshine nice and warm, and before long, Bellamy hears a light snoring coming from Clarke’s other side. He props himself up on one elbow to take a look, and sure enough, Madi has curled into a ball and is sleeping soundly.

“I guess we tired her out,” he notes quietly, and Clarke chuckles.

“She probably didn’t get much sleep at Raven’s last night either,” she notes.

“Probably not.” He turns to look out over the lake for a moment. “You still haven’t tried the water, Princess. It’s warm.”

She gives him a doubtful look. “Sure…”

“Really, I promise.” He pushes himself to his feet before extending a hand to her. “Come on, if it’s too cold for you I can always warm you up.”

Clarke rolls her eyes at his blatant innuendo, but she does take his hand and lets him pull her up and along into the water. She stops when she’s knee-deep, pulling her hand out of his and wrapping her arms around herself, rubbing her arms a little.

“This is _not_ warm,” she complains.

“Come on, it’s better once you’re completely submerged,” he wheedles, stepping in behind her and placing his hands on her waist to push her in front of him into deeper water.

She goes along somewhat grudgingly, suddenly dropping down completely into the water when it reaches her waist, and he follows her lead, diving forward and breaking the surface some ways ahead of her.

“I told you it was nice,” he says, swimming back to where she’s sort of crouching on the bottom to keep her shoulders under the surface.

“You said it was _warm_ ,” she corrects him. “I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

He laughs at her wrinkled nose and tugs her with him backwards further out. “Want me to warm you up?”

He doesn’t wait for her response before pulling her flush against him, and she immediately wraps her legs around his waist to keep her head above water, since he can just about reach the bottom here. He runs his hands down her back over the soaked material of her tank top, finally letting them rest against her lower back, pressing her closer. She’s stripped down to her panties, and he can feel her heat against him.

“Mmm, better,” Clarke says, before closing the distance between them and claiming his lips in a kiss. Her legs tighten around his waist as he returns it, coaxing her mouth open.

“Keep it PG13, there are kids present!” Raven’s voice comes from the beach and they reluctantly pull apart.

“I’m not a kid!” Madi objects loudly, though her voice is still a little raspy with sleep, and Clarke laughs.

“Rain check?” she suggests, giving him a quick peck before unwrapping her legs and sliding into the water.

“Oh, I’m going to hold you to that.”

She swims away from him a little until she can stand easily on the bottom, and gives him a calculating look.

He realizes what she’s thinking a moment before she does it. “Don’t you dare…”

But she brings a hand back and then splashes him with a wave of water.

Which of course turns into an all-out water war, which Madi, Jordan and Octavia soon join. By the time they all collapse onto the blankets on the beach again, everyone’s breathing hard and laughing harder.

-100-

On their way back up to the settlement later in the afternoon, Bellamy ropes Miller into helping him get his spare cot and a few pillows up the hill. They get it set up next to Clarke’s in her bedroom, using rope to tie the legs together so the beds won’t move apart in the night, and Clarke rolls up a blanket and tucks it into the small space between the two thin mattresses before spreading another one and her soft, fluffy comforter over both beds.

The room’s not huge, they tried to be efficient during construction and only made each bedroom large enough to fit a double bed with space enough to move around it on either side, along with some extra room against one wall, for storage. For now, the only thing in here is the bed, which they move to the middle of the room instead of against the wall, where the lone cot was before, and a chest that Clarke keeps her clothes in, but Bellamy thinks he might be able to put together a couple of basic tables to use as bedside tables, maybe a chair and hopefully some sort of cupboards or dressers, for better storage. Still, it’s not like they’ll be doing anything in here that they can’t do _in_ the bed, so it can wait a bit until they’ve finished the rest of the cabins. He also has some vague plans for other furniture – a sofa of some kind for the main room, some shelves, maybe even a bookcase, if he’s feeling extra ambitious, though they keep all books in the corner of the mess hall that’s been dubbed the library.

“Does this mean you’re moving in here?” Madi asks as Bellamy leaves the bedroom, having apparently lain in wait. He turns to Clarke for assistance, but her eyes widen slightly and she busies herself with unpacking the blankets they brought down to the lake earlier.

“I still have my tent down in the valley,” he says lightly. “This is just so it’ll be easier for me to stay here if I’m up here late and don’t feel like making the trek down there.”

“Oh,” Madi replies, sounding neither disappointed nor relieved.

Bellamy turns to Clarke, wanting to check in and make sure his explanation is OK with her, but she has her back turned to him. Even like that, though, he can tell that her shoulders are tense.

“I’m just going to hang these up outside, so they’ll dry,” she says quickly, disappearing out through the door.

Bellamy looks after her for a long moment before turning his attention back to Madi.

“Would it…” he starts. “Would you be OK if I did decide to move in here with you guys?”

Madi looks up from the book she’s reading. “Duh. Why wouldn’t I be? It makes sense, anyway. I mean, you’ll be moving in here eventually, right? And this way you don’t have to build yourself a cabin you won’t even use.”

It’s sound logic, for sure. But isn’t it way too soon? It’s only been a week and a half… on the other hand, it’s also seven years in the making. And if he’s being completely honest with himself, he doesn’t _want_ to spend another lonely night down in his tent in the valley. He wants to fall asleep wrapped around Clarke in the evenings, wants to wake up with her hair in his mouth and her legs tangled with his in the mornings, wants her to be the first and last thing he sees every single day. He wants it all with her, good days and bad, and he wants that to start as soon as possible. They’ve both waited long enough.

But he’s also a little worried that he might scare her away if he tells her that so soon after they’ve found their way to each other.

“Maybe I’ll work on that, then,” he finally tells Madi. “I’m just going to…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, just gestures at the door.

Clarke’s around the corner of the cabin, hanging their blankets over a rope that she and her neighbor have put up between their two cabins to use as a clothes line. He can tell by her slightly jerky movements that she’s upset about _something_. He hopes it’s not anything he said or did, but has a sneaking suspicion that it might be.

“Hi there,” he says as he reaches her, and she turns to face him, offering him a brief smile. “You OK?”

She nods. “Sorry about Madi ambushing you like that,” she says. “I swear, I had no idea she was going to, but maybe I should have talked to her about this before we…”

“Hey, if anything, that’s on me,” he interrupts her. “I’m the one who put the whole moving thing into action right away.” He pauses for a moment, debating what to say next, but finally decides to just get it out there. “The thing is, I would move in here with you and Madi today and never leave, if that’s what you want. I know it’s too soon, I know this thing between us just started, and I totally understand if that’s too much, if it freaks you out or if you want to take things more slowly, but I just want you to know that I am all in, OK? I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us about that.”

She’s still for a moment, staring at him as if she’s not sure he’s actually serious. Then she surges forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face against his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her as well, leaning his chin against the top of her head and lets out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, I jumped to conclusions,” she mumbles into his shirt after a moment. “I guess I’m just so used to not getting what I want and telling myself that it doesn’t matter as long as everyone else is alive and happy… when you said that about keeping your tent down in the valley to Madi…”

“I was just trying not to freak her out,” he assures her when she trails off. “I wasn’t sure how she would react if I said that I _was_ moving in, or what you wanted me to say. I’m sorry if I made you think I didn’t actually want to. I do, more than anything. I love you, I want to be with you every single second of every day, please don’t ever doubt that.”

“I won’t. And your explanation was probably smart,” she admits. “Madi seems to be OK with this whole thing, happy about it even, but living together is still a big step.”

“She says she’s OK with it, though,” Bellamy says. “I asked her after you went outside, if she would be OK with me moving in here, and her exact words were ‘duh’.”

Clarke pulls away from him with a chuckle. “I keep saying she spends too much time with Raven,” she notes. “She really said that?”

He nods, squeezing her hand. “She said it made sense, that I would move in eventually anyway and this way I wouldn’t have to worry about building my own cabin.”

“See? Smart kid.”

“OK, so how do you want to do this? Like I said, I’ll move in right now if you want me to. Madi says she’s fine with it, but maybe we should still ease her into it a little?”

Clarke nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, that might be best. Just… you can still spend the night here, right? And not just tonight.”

The slight pleading note in her voice makes what little doubt is left in his mind vanish completely.

“Of course,” he agrees quickly. “I’ll stay the night, just nothing official, I won’t move any of my other things. We’ll give it a couple of weeks, make sure Madi’s comfortable with the situation, and then we can talk about it again?”

“That sounds good.”

-100-

Bellamy doesn’t want to be a complete cliché and say that his life is suddenly magically perfect as soon as he and Clarke get together. He was content enough before, the work on the new settlement keeping him busy but being fulfilling at the same time, his friends making what little time he had off from work nice enough.

But there had been something missing, and he had always known what it was.

So no, his life doesn’t change dramatically – the work on the cabins is still exhausting, Miller still spends most days teasing him about Clarke even if the nature of his jabs change a little, and he still hangs out in the mess hall in the evenings, playing cards or craps that Jordan managed to make out of spare wood, laughing with his friends. Only now he has Clarke by his side, can lean over and steal a kiss whenever he wants to, and at the end of the night, he follows her back to what is still technically _her_ cabin. The only nights they spend apart is when he’s off on a two-day hunting trip or when Clarke and her mom go on a longer expedition to find medicinal plants, and even then he still sleeps in Clarke’s cabin so Madi won’t have to stay with Raven.

It’s Madi who eventually brings up him _really_ moving in one morning when they’ve slept a little later than normal and he has to rush out the door to have time to grab a change of clothes from his tent before he’s supposed to meet the rest of his construction crew at the current building site. It’s been almost a month since they moved his cot into the cabin, but they just haven’t had time to talk about it more in the weeks since, the construction keeping Bellamy busy and Clarke swamped in the med bay with more flu cases, just when they thought it was over for the time being.

“Why don’t you just keep your stuff here?” Madi asks as he’s chewing down some berries while tying his shoelaces at the same time. “You already live here, it’s just stupid not to have all your things here too.”

He and Clarke exchange a look, and he packs up his things in a backpack – not like he has a lot of stuff – and breaks the tent down that evening. The cabins are getting close to being all finished anyway, so he would have been moving up the hill soon enough. There’s still a handful of people sleeping in the mess hall, and a couple of guys from Bellamy’s building crew down in the valley, but with his official move, they decide to join the last stragglers in the mess, and the camp down in the valley is deserted.

Which also means they can move the transport ship to its designated spot up on the hill. Raven’s been vaguely talking about using the lake to build some sort of power station and give them electricity, or maybe something wind-powered, but they all know this is way into the future, if ever. So for now, they park the transport ship on one edge of the settlement – do you actually _park_ a space ship, Bellamy wonders? It feels like there should be a grander word for it, it’s not exactly the rover – and use the ship’s system to power the most important buildings, meaning the med bay, mess hall, kitchens and Raven’s workshop, for now. They’re hoping to get electricity in at least all the public buildings eventually, maybe even in the cabins, but if they’re going to continue using the ship’s power system, Raven says they’ll have to tweak it quite a bit before they can do that, since it wasn’t really built to power the ship itself, a handful of large buildings and over two hundred smaller cabins.

But it still feels like a huge step in the right direction the day Raven flicks a switch – kind of anticlimactic, really – and a couple of bare lightbulbs in the med bay flicker to life.

Abby’s face is glowing with happiness while she watches Raven show her how the system works. They have lights and a fridge they’ve moved from the ship, for storage of salves for burns and other things that benefit from being kept cold, as well as some portable heaters, also from the ship, for colder nights.

“This is going to make things so much easier,” Abby gushes when Raven’s done. “I always worry that I’ll accidentally leave a candle or lantern burning and wake up to find the whole building in flames. And now that the days are getting shorter, these lights will be almost indispensable.”

Raven and Jordan have also managed to hook up the water system, which has been finished for a couple of weeks by now, to the ship’s water line – since nobody lives on the ship anymore, the water reserves have dried up, as they weren’t being replenished. During the warmer months, bathing in the lake has been fine, but it’s definitely fall now and the water has been more than a little chilly lately. Now they can use the two large, communal shower rooms on the ship instead, since they’ve realized putting showers in the individual cabins just won’t be practical.

“And I’ve run it past the water heater, so we’re getting hot water!” Raven exclaims when they test the system for the first time. The pressure isn’t amazing, and the hot water is more lukewarm than anything. “Well, kind of warm at least, for a while. This is going to be amazing.”

Bellamy has to agree when Clarke pulls him along onto the ship late that night, after everyone’s asleep, and kisses him as the water cascades down their bodies. It’s cooled significantly by the time she braces her hands against the cold metal wall and he pushes into her from behind, their simultaneous moans echoing in the room, but neither of them really notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so we’re on thin technical ice again. I’m no engineer, not even close, so let’s just assume the stuff I’ve described in this chapter are completely possible, OK? Great!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more everyday stuff, I love writing the little moments in life, I hope it doesn’t get too boring! A bit of interaction with both Echo (with slight references to Becho, but it shouldn’t be too bad) and Octavia in this one, trying to establish more of a relationship between these two and Clarke…  
> Some smut at the end, not as explicit as chapter 16/17, but I still wanted to put a warning in here. If it’s not your jam, you can skip the last part, from somewhere around when they get home (you’ll know)  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-19-**

 

Life settles into a routine for the three of them even before Bellamy officially moves into Clarke’s cabin. They don’t spend more time together once he does, really, since they all have their own things keeping them busy. Madi spends all day with the other kids in the classes that Gaia and Dina are in charge of in the mess, Clarke, Abby and Jackson are still battling the flu that seems to be going around the settlement for the second time, all three of them pulling long hours in the med bay, and Bellamy and his construction crews usually keep working on new cabins well after the suns set when the days start getting shorter and shorter, moving people from the mess to the newly finished buildings slowly but surely.

Some of the people who used to do construction have already switched to other tasks, mainly hunting, fishing and gathering. This means the last part of the construction phase takes a little longer, but they need to start building up their food stores in the smoke houses and storage buildings for winter, so it’s a necessary compromise. They don’t know how the animals in the area will behave during the colder months – so far, some of the birds seem to have migrated somewhere warmer, but they still spot deer, boar and rabbit regularly in the woods, so hopefully those won’t disappear. But better safe than sorry.

They’ve picked fruit and berries from trees and bushes as far from the settlement as they’ve been able to haul back, and dried about half of the harvest, hoping it will last them through the winter and until the first batch of the spring arrive. Some of the trees seem to keep their nuts, so those might be a good supplement, and as long as the ground doesn’t freeze, they’ll have the different types of roots that have become sort of a staple of their diet. Still, if there’s snow, even those will be difficult to get to, and the animals might become less mobile and harder to hunt. Clarke thinks the temperature will need to drop well below freezing for the lake to ice over, so if the worst comes to the worst, they’ll have to settle for a diet of fish for some time.

They’re also working on making more clothes – what they brought with them and could find on the Eligius ship gives everyone at least a couple of changes, but it won’t really cut it in the long run. Octavia’s in charge of the brand new sewing room, so far only a corner of Raven’s workshop that the mechanic has reluctantly given up, but Bellamy’s promised her a building of her own once they’re done with the last cabins. They’ve been tanning hides from animals since they landed, but so far they’ve just been kept in storage. Now, though, Octavia and the other tailors have started turning them into coats and jackets, fur-lined pants, hats and gloves, and even pelts to be used to supplement the blankets for those who don’t have one of the down comforters from the ships. They’re also turning extra blankets and other fabric from both the ships into clothing, especially for Diyoza’s baby, whose arrival is quickly drawing closer.

Clarke stops by on her way to the med bay after lunch one day to pick up a new sweater for Madi.

“Octavia?” she calls as she enters the otherwise empty workshop.

“Here,” the other woman replies from behind the sheet they’ve hung up to separate the sewing area from the rest of the workshop – Octavia was complaining that sawdust and metal shavings were getting all over the hides from Raven’s work.

“I hope you haven’t worked through lunch again,” Clarke says as she rounds the sheet to find Octavia on a chair in the corner, a beautiful fur coat in her lap. “You know I’d have to tell your brother…”

Octavia huffs. “I almost preferred him hating me to this overprotective thing he’s reverted back to,” she notes, but Clarke knows she’s not serious.

“He never hated you, you know that,” she replies, pulling up a chair to watch Octavia work for a while.

“He wasn’t worrying about whether or not I took my lunch break, though.”

“I think he was,” Clarke says with a sigh. “I mean, not literally, but you know what I mean. He just didn’t feel like he could mother you about it when you two were still… not in a great place.”

“True,” the younger Blake agrees, putting the coat she’s working on away. “Bell is such a mother hen, he worries about everyone and their uncle, even the people he barely knows.”

“It’s just his nature, I guess.” Clarke shrugs – it’s actually one the things she loves most about him, how much he cares about everyone, not just their friends and family, but the entire settlement.

“At least you knew what you were getting yourself into,” Octavia says with a smirk, reaching into a chest next to her chair. “Here, Madi’s new sweater, I hope she likes it.”

Clarke takes the garment and turns it over in her hands. It’s a sort of patchwork design, made up of bits from several different knitted blankets from the ship. “It’s beautiful, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“We’re running out of that type of material quick, though,” Octavia continues. “I’ve been experimenting a little with the fur from the rabbits, and it does work but a rabbit is only so big. I was hoping we could try to domesticate the goats on the other side of the lake? Then we’d get both milk and wool for spinning into yarn.”

They have been talking about this occasionally since they landed, but so far there just hasn’t been time to really explore the option. She’s sure there must be people among the Grounders who know how to tame animals, though.

“Why don’t you bring it up at the next assembly?” Clarke suggests – they’ve decided to hold monthly meetings with everyone in the settlement, so they don’t feel like the council is just making decisions without consulting them. The first one was just last month, and the second is coming up in a week.

“Yeah, maybe I will,” Octavia decides. “I mean, I know it’ll have to wait until spring, probably, but it can’t hurt to get people thinking about it, gathering ideas.” She goes off in a coughing fit as she finishes.

“Exactly,” Clarke agrees, frowning. “Are you feeling OK?” She presses the back of her hand against Octavia’s forehead, which doesn’t feel warm, at least.

“Oh my God, Bell’s rubbing off on you,” Octavia says with an eye-roll after she’s stopped coughing. “I’m fine, it’s just a cold.”

“I _am_ a doctor, you know,” Clarke reminds her. “Well, sort of. The flu seems to have let go for now, but why don’t you stop by the med bay on your way home, just in case? Mom still has the tea we made for the people with the flu, it will help ease a sore throat.”

Octavia sighs. “Fine, but just so you won’t rattle me out to Bell.”

“Don’t care about your motivation as long as you’re there.”

“Yeah, yeah… now get out of here, I have work to do.”

Clarke laughs but obediently leaves the workshop and heads back to the med bay.

Her mom and Jackson are still at lunch, so she’s alone for the moment and takes the opportunity to sort some medicinal plants that Miller and Jackson brought back from a hunt a few days ago. It’s not exactly exciting work, but she does get so wrapped up in it that she jumps a little when there’s a knock on the open door.

“Got time for a drop in, doc?” Echo’s voice, hoarser than usual, alerts Clarke to who’s there before she turns.

“Of course, come on in,” she says with a wave of the hand. “Take your pick.”

The room’s empty – the flu does seem to have mostly passed for now, but they’ve had a couple of cases of a stomach bug in the last week, so they’re half-prepared for an outbreak of that in the near future. They try to keep those patients confined to their cabins, though, to hopefully avoid it spreading too much.

Echo hops onto the nearest examination table, a rattling cough escaping her in the process.

“Flu?” Clarke asks knowingly, but Echo shakes her head.

“I thought so, but it’s been almost two weeks now and it’s not getting any better,” she says. “Emori practically threatened to drag me here herself if I didn’t go voluntarily, so here I am.”

Clarke and Echo have interacted some over the two months since Clarke and Bellamy got together, but usually in groups. This is the first time they’re alone together.

“Do you… my mom should be back soon, or Jackson, if you would rather wait for them?” Clarke says uncertainly.

Echo stares at her for a moment before a look of realization spreads on her face. “Oh, no, it’s nothing against _you_ ,” she says. “I just… as a child, I was told to not show weakness, that you were only as sick as you thought you were, and that healers were for people who broke bones or got stabbed or speared, so it’s not really in my nature to ask for help for something like this.”

“Oh!” Clarke can understand that, she supposes. She’s not too familiar with Azgeda traditions, but she does know that future soldiers were raised in the army from a very young age, and she assumes Echo must have been. “Well, in that case, if you could just lift your shirt up, I’d like to listen to your lungs, that cough didn’t sound great.”

Echo obliges and Clarke presses the cold stethoscope against her chest and then her back.

“Like I suspected, you have fluid in your lungs, which can be the first stage of pneumonia,” she says when she’s satisfied. “So Emori was right to send you here. I’ll get you some of the tea we’ve been giving to the people with flu for now, and some to bring home with you to make yourself. You’re going to have to take it easy for at least a week – I don’t want this to develop into full blown pneumonia, OK? We don’t really have the means to treat that. So no hunting parties, no scouting expeditions, nothing, got it?”

Echo nods a little reluctantly, letting her shirt fall back down on as Clarke speaks.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” Clarke busies herself with starting a fire in the fireplace and putting a kettle of water above it before she gets some of the dried leaves they use to make the tea from a cupboard. She pours some into a small box for Echo to take with her. “Take this, drink it morning and evening at least. Ideally, I would like to keep you here until at least tomorrow for observation, but if someone can stay with you tonight and come get one of us if your temperature rises or you start having trouble breathing, that’s fine too.”

Echo looks away at that. “I… yes, there’s someone who can stay with me,” she says after a beat.

For a moment, Clarke thinks that she might continue, but when she doesn’t, she goes to pour some of the now boiling water into a metal mug and finishes the tea.

“Here you go,” she says, offering the mug to Echo when it’s done. “Careful, it’s hot.”

Echo blows on the tea before taking a small sip and then grimacing, which makes Clarke laugh.

“It doesn’t taste great, I know. But it really does help ease some of the soreness in your throat.”

Echo nods, taking another, longer sip of the tea before resting the mug against her leg. “I… I’ve been seeing someone, I guess,” she says after a moment, eyes on the mug. “Thor, he’s Podakru. Most of the Azgedans don’t really want anything to do with me, they’re not hostile or anything but to them I’m still banished… the other Krus have been good, though. We… it’s only been a couple of weeks, but it’s… nice.”

“Nice?” Clarke repeats, noticing the hesitation in the other woman’s voice. “Don’t sound so excited.”

Echo sighs. “No, I am, I just… it’s different from anything I’ve really had with someone before, you know? He’s a fisherman, he brings me flowers, I’ve never… it’s all new.”

“New can be good.”

“It is, it is good.” Echo gives Clarke a hesitant look. “I’m sorry, is this strange? I just… I want us to be friends, if we can. I know we’ve had our… differences in the past, but maybe we can move past them.”

Clarke’s a little surprised by that, if she’s honest. It’s not like they’re enemies or anything, at least not anymore, more like… acquaintances. Friends of friends. Bellamy had told her that Echo said she needed some time, some distance, so Clarke’s been sort of taking her cues on their relationship, really.

“I’d like that too,” she now says. “I didn’t want to push, Bellamy… he said you needed some space.”

To her surprise, Echo laughs at that. “I did tell him that, yes, when we ended things. I just didn’t think it would take him quite as long as it did to actually get his head out of his ass and do something. I sort of assumed he’d rush right over, and, well… I didn’t really want to have to see you two together at that point, I think you of all people can understand that.”

“Oh, trust me – I do,” Clarke assures her, and they exchange a knowing look. “But I really would like to get to know you better, and Thor too. You should bring him next time you join us for dinner.”

Echo starts coughing again, and Clarke nudges her hand so she drinks the rest of her tea when it passes.

“I’ll try to get over this pneumonia first,” Echo finally says when the tea is all gone, her voice barely more than a wheeze. “But that would be nice.”

Clarke sends Echo on her way with strict instructions to go straight home and get into bed, drink plenty of fluids and just take it easy.

They have a couple more cases of the stomach bug during the afternoon, but soon Clarke’s getting ready to call it a day, fully intending to drop off some tea at the workshop on her way home, when someone appears in the doorway.

“Finally,” she says when she sees that it’s Octavia entering the room. “I thought I’d have to come to you.”

Octavia rolls her eyes. “I’m here now, calm down.”

“Sit,” Clarke orders, nodding at a stool and Octavia obligingly sinks down on it. “Lift your shirt up, I want to make sure you don’t have pneumonia.”

Octavia sighs but does as she’s told. Clarke listens to her breathing for a moment, but her lungs sound fine.

“OK, you probably just have a light cold,” she says as she’s putting her stethoscope away. “Drink the tea for a few days just in case though, try to take it easy, and come back if you feel worse.”

“Yes, _Mom_ ,” Octavia agrees in an amused voice.

“Careful, I can still tell your brother…”

Octavia’s eyes narrow at Clarke’s threat. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Clarke just crosses her arms over her chest, and Octavia leaves with a huff but also a squeeze of Clarke’s shoulder after she too gets a box with the tea.

Her mom and Jackson have already left for the day, so Clarke tidies up a little around the room before heading out herself.

It’s Friday, which means movie night in the mess after dinner, something Raven initiated when they moved the ship up to the hill and got electricity in there. She and Jordan have somehow managed to move a projector from the ship and connect it to the entertainment archive, and they use one of the walls in the mess as a huge screen. The first couple of weeks, almost everyone in the settlement showed up, the Grounders fascinated by the technology that they had never experience before, but it’s been a month now and some of the novelty has worn off. Raven has designed a method for going through the movies that Clarke doesn’t understand at all, and tonight, it’s apparently time for a movie called _Gladiator_ that Bellamy’s been grumbling about all week, ever since Raven put up the note in the mess.

He’s already home when Clarke gets there – the builders almost always call it a day early on Fridays – lounging on their bed with the shutter open to let in enough afternoon light so he can read.

“Hi there,” she greets him, leaning down for a kiss. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” he replies with a shrug. “We’re a little behind schedule, but hopefully we’ll wrap up the last of the cabins in a couple of weeks. I just hope winter doesn’t sneak up on us and hit full force out of the blue.”

“We’ll be OK if it does,” she assures him. “Nobody’s in tents anymore, and the people still sleeping in the mess can stay there, it’s not like they’ll freeze. Or they can bunk in the already finished cabins, if they prefer that. There are spare bedrooms. Don’t worry so much.”

Bellamy sighs. “I know, I just want to get it done.”

“I know.” Clarke’s reminded of her and Octavia’s conversation earlier in the day and can’t help but run her hand fondly through his curls. He leans into her touch, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down on the bed next to him.

“Did _you_ have a good day?” he asks when she’s moved around so she can curl up against him and lean her head on his shoulder. His arm settles around her, thumb just barely slipping under her shirt to caress the skin on her ribcage, making a shiver run up her spine.

“I did. Some more stomach bugs, but nothing too bad. And I had a nice talk with Echo, actually.”

Bellamy’s thumb freezes for a moment at that before starting to move again. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she’s got the flu, borderline pneumonia, so I gave her some tea and ordered her to rest for a week… we’ll see how _that_ goes.”

He huffs. “Yeah, no, she’s not great at taking orders _or_ resting, so I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.”

“I guess I’ll have to make sure she does, then.” Clarke hesitates for a moment. “She said she wants us to be friends, if we can.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she repeats, looking up at him to gauge his reaction. His eyebrows are raised, but he seems mostly surprised. “Apparently, the whole thing about needing space was because she thought you would actually make a move, like, right away.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “I guess that does make sense.”

“Anyway, she’s got a new boyfriend, so I think she’s fine.”

“She does?”

Clarke hates that she listens carefully for any hint of jealousy in his voice, but she can’t help it. To her relief, though, he sounds… glad. A little surprised, but glad.

“Yup, his name’s Thor, he was Podakru, and apparently he’s _nice_.”

“That… doesn’t sound like Echo, to be honest,” Bellamy notes. “But good for her. I think he worked on my team for a few of the cabins, seemed like a nice guy. I’m glad she’s found someone.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, suppressing a yawn.

“You know, you seem tired… maybe we should just skip this movie night?” he says, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Clarke chuckles, but lets her eyes slide close for a moment. “Nice try, but no can do, you know Madi’s really looking forward to it.”

“Fine,” Bellamy says with a deep sigh.

As soon as Madi gets home a little later, they head off to the mess hall for dinner. When everyone’s finished eating and about half the room has cleared out, Raven starts up the projector and they all turn in their seats so they can watch the movie play on the back wall.

It’s not something Clarke would have chosen herself, and if she’s being completely honest, the best part is listening to Bellamy grumbling next to her about everything that’s wrong with the movie from a historical perspective.

“You do know this isn’t a documentary, right?” she mumbles to him when he huffs loudly at a scene in the gladiator arena.

“They could still make an effort,” he replies. “See, and now… yeah, like _that_ would happen!”

Clarke just rolls her eyes and exchanges an amused look with Raven a few seats over.

The movie’s long, and by the time the end credits roll across the wall, Madi’s fallen asleep with her head on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Here, I’ve got her,” Bellamy says as he gets up, leaning down to lift the girl into his arms. She mumbles something in her sleep but doesn’t wake up, not when they get out into the considerably cooler air or when they finally tuck her into her bed at home.

Clarke closes her door quietly behind them and doesn’t even bother to fight the huge yawn that overcomes her a moment later.

“Tired?” Bellamy asks, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind, pulling her back against him.

She turns around in his embrace to be able to slide her hands into the back pockets of his pants. “Mmm, not _that_ tired.”

“You sure?” he insists, bypassing her waiting lips to press a kiss to her throat. “I should probably tuck you into bed too, let you get a good night’s sleep.”

She knows he’s teasing her, even if it’s a little hard to think straight with his mouth against her throat and his hand traveling up her spine underneath her shirt, but, well – two can play that game.

She fakes another, big yawn as she takes a step backwards, out of his embrace. “You’re right, I should get some rest.”

He doesn’t move as she turns around and starts heading towards the bedroom again, but she’s only gotten a few steps before she hears him behind her, and then she’s suddenly pressed up against the wall next to the bedroom door.

“Not so fast, Princess,” Bellamy whispers in her ear, his breath hot on her skin and his hand slipping under her shirt, skirting up her side to tease the side of her breast.

“I thought you… ah,” she cuts herself off when his hand moves a little, squeezing her breast once before he flicks her nipple lightly with his thumb through the worn material of her bra. He uses his other hand to push her hair away from her throat and then his mouth is hot and wet against her pulse point.

“You were saying…”

Clarke pushes back against him, feeling the beginning of his erection against her butt. “Shut up and fuck me.”

He chuckles against her throat, but moves back slightly so she can turn around and finally kiss him.

“Bedroom,” she murmurs against his lips after a moment, when his fingers close around the hem of her shirt and start pulling it up.

“Right.”

He manages to maneuver them through the door without letting go of her completely, and once he’s closed it behind them he doesn’t waste any time in lifting her up so she can wrap her legs around his waist and pushing her up against the door. She’s vaguely aware of the sound of the metal hasp they’ve put in to keep Madi from barging in at inopportune moments falling into place, but then Bellamy finishes his earlier endeavor of getting her shirt off, closely followed by her bra, and then his mouth is on her breast and her brain stops working completely.

She somehow manages to get the first few buttons on his shirt undone and pushes it off his shoulders so she can get her hands on skin as well, letting her nails scrape lightly down his chest and abs and then back up. His hands go to the hem of her pants and he manages to get the button and zipper undone, before he pulls back with a slight frown on his face.

“This isn’t going to work,” he notes half-dazedly.

Clarke looks down between them and realizes that, yes, she’s going to have to get down if they want to get the last of their clothes off. She also starts noticing the way the rough door is scraping against her back.

“And I don’t really want to get a bunch of splinters in my back,” she notes. “Bed?”

Bellamy nods and reluctantly lets her slide down to the floor, where she makes quick work of the last offending garments before she scoots onto the bed, eyes on him the whole time.

He’s paused, zipper halfway down, to watch her, eyes dark. She gives him a teasing smile. “What are you waiting for?”

He snaps out of his daze and pushes his pants down, along with his underwear, before crawling onto the bed and covering her body with his.

“Sometimes I still have a hard time believing that you’re really here,” he mumbles before kissing her softly.

“I know, me too.” She wraps one arm tightly around his neck, pulling him down until they’re skin on skin. “But I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, I know.” His lips are insistent against hers, kiss deep and hard. “I love you.”

She slips a hand between them to wrap around him and position him at her entrance, and waits until he’s slowly pushing inside before she replies. “I love you.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe we’re already at chapter twenty… only eight more chapters and an epilogue to go after this! Some of you who have followed this story from the beginning might remember that it was supposed to be 27 chapters at first, not 29 – originally, the story jumped from around the middle of chapter 18 to the second half of this chapter, though the timeframe was the same, but I felt like I was skipping ahead a little too much, so I split that chapter in two and filled them out a little, and added a Clarke chapter in between, and here we are…  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-20-**

 

It’s still dark the next morning when Bellamy’s roused from sleep. They’re well into fall by now, and the suns rise later every day, but it must still be pretty early.

It takes his sleep-addled brain a moment to realize that Clarke’s side of the bed is empty, and after rubbing his eyes to wake up at least a little, he pushes himself up to see where she might have disappeared to at this time of the morning. Usually, she’s still asleep when he gets up to get ready for work and doesn’t drag herself into the living area until just before he’s about to leave.

He hears her before he sees her, the door to the washroom slightly ajar and the sound of vomiting coming from inside it.

“You OK?” he asks as he pushes the door all the way open. His question is answered by Clarke bending over the toilet again. “I’ll take that as a no.”

He crouches down behind her and carefully gathers her hair in one hand behind her neck while rubbing soothing motions against her back with the other. She heaves into the toilet a couple of more times, but soon her stomach seems to be finally empty and she slumps back against him, head dropping to his shoulder.

“Stomach bug,” she mumbles tiredly, and Bellamy presses a kiss against her sweaty temple.

“I figured. Think you can make it back to bed?”

She shakes her head. “I should just stay here, not sure it’s over yet.”

“You can’t sit on the floor like this, you need to sleep. Come on, I’ll get you a bowl in case you’re sick again.”

She lets him help her up and leans heavily on him as he leads her back to bed and tucks her in before going into the main room to try to find something in case she throws up again and can’t make it to the toilet. There’s not really much to choose from, the kitchen is still very sparse, but he does manage to find a slightly rusty bucket that can’t be used for much else.

“What’s going on?”

He straightens up at Madi’s sleepy voice and finds her rubbing her eyes in the doorway to her room.

“Clarke’s got that stomach bug that’s started going around, I’ve got it,” he tells her. “Go back to bed.”

She nods slowly before turning around and heading back into her room, the door sliding closed behind her.

Bellamy goes back to the bedroom and puts the bucket down on Clarke’s side of the bed before sliding in behind her and placing a careful hand on her stomach.

“Feeling better?”

She grunts in what might be confirmation, but weakly tries to push him away.

“You should keep some distance, don’t want you to get sick too.”

He chuckles at that.

“Princess, we had sex, like, seven hours ago,” he reminds her. “If I’m going to catch it, I think it’s already too late.”

She grumbles a little but doesn’t complain when he moves in closer behind her.

“You’re hot,” he notes, her skin feeling warmer than his for once.

“Just what every girl wants to hear after spending half an hour bent over a toilet,” she mumbles sleepily.

“Well, you’re always hot,” he replies. “But I was talking about your actual body temperature. I think you have a fever.”

“The others who’ve had this got a fever the first day too, it should pass in a… day or so…”

She trails off, slipping back into a light slumber.

Bellamy stays awake behind her – he knows it’s probably less than an hour until he has to get up anyway. She wakes up again just as it’s starting to lighten outside, the cracks around the shutter a light grey instead of the earlier black. He holds her hair back as she bends over the side of the bed, heaving into the bucket even though the only thing left in her stomach by now is bile.

He gets her to drink some water while he and Madi get ready for the day, and leaves a tin pitcher and a mug on the floor by the bed for her.

“You sure you’ll be OK on your own?” he asks, lingering hesitantly in the doorway to the bedroom.

“I’ll just be sleeping anyway,” she replies, not even opening her eyes to look at him. “I’ll be fine. Just let Mom know I won’t be in today.”

“I will.” He leans down to kiss her forehead. “I’ll come back during lunch, OK, to see how you’re doing.”

-100-

Clarke’s right, the fever does pass towards the evening the first day she’s sick, but she’s unable to hold anything but water down for several days after.

“Everyone reacts differently,” Abby tells him when he talks to her on day five.

“But you said everyone else has gotten over it in three or four days,” he insists. “It’s been five now. She’s not getting any nourishment, it can’t be good in the long run.”

“I know you worry,” she tells him with a squeeze of his arm. “But give it another day or two.”

To his relief, Clarke’s able to eat without throwing up again the next day, and the following morning, she insists on getting out of bed and moving around a little.

Which is good, since Madi catches the same bug that night, and then Abby a couple of days later, leaving Clarke and Jackson to handle the stomach flu cases as well as the few injuries that seem to pop up every day.

Clarke’s been back working for just over a week, Abby still out with the stomach bug, when they’re woken up by someone banging on the door in the middle of the night.

Bellamy’s a lighter sleeper, so he’s already at the door by the time Clarke’s sitting on the edge of the bed, opening it to reveal an out-of-breath Miller.

“Diyoza… baby… coming…” he huffs out, leaning against the door.

Clarke’s there in an instant. “It’s finally getting closer?” she asks, pulling a sweater over her head. The pregnant woman went into labor yesterday morning, but the progress has been slow so far and Clarke and Jackson decided to take turns dropping in on her during the nights. Clarke had last night and today it was Jackson’s turn.

“Jackson said to get you,” Miller replies, having finally caught his breath. “There might have been some sort of status report, but I honestly have no idea what he was talking about.”

“OK, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Clarke says, reaching up to give Bellamy a quick kiss before dashing out the door.

He doesn’t see her again until she stops by the current construction site an hour or so after he’s gotten there, a tired but happy smile on her face.

“Everything go OK?” he asks from the roof he and Miller are perched on.

“Just fine, mother and daughter are doing well and resting,” she replies. “I sent Jackson home to get some sleep, since he’s been up since yesterday morning, so I’ll be in the med bay the rest of the day.”

“OK, just don’t overdo it, you’re still not a hundred percent,” he reminds her, but she just waves his worry off before leaving them.

He watches her go until Miller huffs next to him.

“What?” Bellamy asks, turning to his friend.

“Nothing,” the other man replies. “You’re just a complete sap when it comes to her, that’s all.”

And, well, it’s not like he can deny that.

-100-

Bellamy’s been neglecting his work duties a little while Clarke’s been sick, and then Madi, he won’t lie about that, but now that they’re both back to – more or less – normal, Clarke insists that he focus on the last phase of the construction of the settlement, so he throws himself into work again.

They finish the last of the cabins the first day there’s frost on the ground in the morning, to Bellamy’s great relief, and Raven and Jordan arrange an impromptu celebration in the evening.

“We have something else to celebrate too,” Raven announces when most of the settlement is gathered in the mess, where the individual tables have been pushed together to make three long ones.

Their group has nabbed the end of the large table at the back of the room, in the spot where their normal table usually stands. Raven holds up a big plastic container with something liquid inside it, and at first, nobody seems to realize what it is. Then Murphy woops. “Moonshine!”

“Yup, finished the first batch just this morning,” Jordan confirms. “So this will be our grand premiere, if you will.”

There’s general cheering, but Bellamy feels Clarke tense next to him.

“Yeah, I’m not touching that,” she mumbles into his ear. “Remember Jasper and Monty’s first batch after we landed on Earth? I sweat it could have eaten through the metal of the Dropship.”

Of course he remembers – vividly. In fact, the taste might still be ingrained in his brain. And while he was happy to put up with it to get a bit drunk back then, he’d like to think he’s matured since.

“Have you actually tasted it?” he asks, getting a frown from Raven.

“Don’t be such a party-pooper, Blake,” she complains. “If you don’t want to try it, you don’t have to. It’s a free world. Be boring if you want to.”

Jordan opens the container, which gives off a strong smell that makes them all cough and Bellamy’s eyes water, and pours some of the liquid into his own and Raven’s mugs before holding it up as a question to the rest of them. Only Murphy, Shaw and Echo hold out their mugs – Bellamy’s fairly sure Shaw only does it so he won’t get kicked out of bed, he’s learned it’s best to stay on Raven’s good side by now – and Jordan pours them some as well while Raven gives the rest of the group the evil eye.

“And here I thought we were friends,” she exclaims in an exaggerated tone.

“We are,” Miller tells her. “Unlike you, we just don’t think that gives you the right to poison us.”

“Exactly, we’re too young to die,” Octavia chips in. A couple of months ago, that might have made the situation uncomfortable, but now, everyone just laughs.

“Fine, have it your way,” Raven grumbles, raising her mug. “Bottoms up!”

The five of them throw their drinks back in unison. A moment later, Jordan and Echo both spit theirs back out, while Shaw swallows with a pained look on his face. Murphy doesn’t seem affected at all, and actually holds out his mug for a refill. Raven hasn’t swallowed the liquid in her mouth yet, and her eyes are starting to tear up.

“Just spit it out, babe,” Shaw tells her before he’s overcome with a fit of coughing, and she immediately does.

“OK,” she says after a moment. “That might need a bit of tweaking.”

“A bit?” Echo questions with raised eyebrows, Thor patting her comfortingly on the back – the two have become a regular occurrence at their table since Echo introduced him to the group a while ago.

Raven rolls her eyes. “OK, fine, a _lot_ of tweaking.”

With the construction work essentially finished, a lot of people don’t have much to do anymore. They do have some long term projects, like a proper building for Octavia’s sewing and a real school, but the first frost seems to indicate that fall is quickly turning into whatever winter this planet has to offer, and even though the temperature rises a little again, they don’t want to get anything started if it ends up being left unfinished and exposed to the elements during the colder months. They step up hunting, gathering, fishing and work in the smoke houses another notch, in preparation for the winter, and even head north to explore further in that direction, which keeps part of the previous construction work force busy, and the rest are re-assigned to the kitchens or as apprentices in the med bay or the workshop. Most of the people assigned to the workshop beg to be moved within a couple of days, though.

“You have to stop scaring people off!” Bellamy berates Raven one evening. “We need to train people so you, Shaw and Jordan won’t be the only ones with technical knowledge.”

“I know!” she grumbles. “Just… maybe let Zeke handle the newbies? I’m not good with stupid.”

It gets better after that, even if at least one apprentice is reduced to tears every week. But nobody else quits, and Raven insists she’s trying, which Shaw backs her up on, so Bellamy lets her be.

He and Miller steal Jordan away from the workshop to get his help on the work to set up a farm down in the valley. They’ve found something that Jordan has judged more or less the same as wheat on Earth, so they’re hoping to be able to grow that and eventually make flour, which could mean bread, though that would also involve one of the long-term building projects – a mill. They also have a bunch of root vegetables similar to potatoes and carrots, and Jordan wants to do some test planting to see which are overwintering and which need to be planted in the spring. He says that he would have preferred planting a while ago, but the ground still isn’t frozen, so it should work.

Still, the work setting up the farm isn’t nearly as demanding as the construction was, which means that Bellamy has a bit more time to enjoy life and take more notice of his surroundings.

Like the fact that there’s something wrong with Clarke.

Sure, she had that stomach bug that was going around the settlement, but that was weeks ago now. Bellamy didn’t think much of it back then, she was taking care of sick people all the time, and Madi got it a few days later as well, so it really wasn’t strange that she caught it. He had been worried for a while, when it seemed like it affected her more than everyone else and she didn’t recover as quickly, but she did get better eventually.

But now he notices that, while she’s not throwing up anymore, she still winces slightly, wrinkling her nose and pressing a hand against her stomach if they pass the kitchen when they’re preparing fish. She’s not eating much, either, which he really doesn’t like, she lost some weight while she was sick and needs all the nourishment she can get so she can put it back on, especially before winter when they might not have as much food as they’ve been used to so far.

Now that he has time to go home for an hour or two before dinner every day, instead of meeting Clarke and Madi in the mess hall most nights and then going straight to bed after, he also notices that she’s tired all the time, often taking a nap when she gets home from the med bay in the afternoon, even though she always gets a solid nine hours of sleep every night, if not more.

“How are you feeling?” he asks her one afternoon when Madi’s off somewhere with Raven and they’re alone in the cabin, him reading, leaning against the wall behind the bed and Clarke dozing with her head in his lap.

“What do you mean?” she asks, looking up at him, and he runs a hand through her hair, detangling some of the knots that have formed during the day.

“You’ve been tired lately,” he expands.

Clarke frowns. “I guess so… I haven’t really thought about it, to be honest. The med bay’s been busy since that stomach bug started going around a while ago, you know that, and we still get the occasional flu case and injuries… I’m probably just a little over worked.”

It could be that, of course.

“That’s another thing,” he continues. “The stomach bug. I know you’re better, but you still feel sick sometimes, right?”

“It’s just one of those new types of fish they’ve started cooking in the kitchen,” she assures him quickly. “It really stinks, I’m surprised nobody else gets sick from the smell.”

It is true that the smell is a little… pungent during cooking, even if the fish is absolutely delicious to actually eat. Still, he’s just not sure that’s it, and there’s a small weight forming in the pit of his stomach even as she brushes his concern off.

“Are you sure?” he insists, frowning.

“I’m positive,” Clarke replies, squeezing his hand comfortingly. “Which one of us is the doctor here?”

“OK, fine,” Bellamy grudgingly agrees. “But promise me that you’ll ask your mom to give you a check-up if you think something’s wrong?”

“I promise,” she says, running a hand up his thigh. “Now, how about I show you how not-tired I am?”

He lets her distract him, and he really does try to let the issue go.

He still can’t help but keep an extra close eye on her over the next few weeks, though. If anything, she’s getting more tired, to the point where he has to physically wake her up when he leaves in the morning, so she’ll get out of bed and not just roll over and continue sleeping until noon. Eventually, it gets to the point where Madi calls her out on it, when Clarke actually falls asleep against Bellamy’s shoulder in the mess hall one evening during movie night.

The young girl waits until they’re back in the cabin a little later, before turning on Clarke, hands on her hips and a stern look on her face that reminds Bellamy so much of Clarke and Abby that he has to suppress a laugh.

“Are you sick again?” Madi asks, jumping directly to the point.

Clarke lets out a tired sigh. “Not this again… did you put her up to this?” she asks, turning to him.

“I have nothing to do with this,” he replies, raising his hands in surrender. “But even you have to realize that _something’s_ going on by now. This isn’t just being overworked, Princess.”

“ _By now_?” Madi repeats. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since she had the stomach bug,” Bellamy tells her, getting a betrayed look from Clarke.

“That was over two months ago!” Madi exclaims, and Bellamy realizes that she’s right. Time has kind of started bleeding together, but he knows Raven has a sort of calendar in her workshop, keeping track of how long they’ve been down here, and Madi hangs out there almost as much as she does in their cabin, so she would know.

“OK, we’re making a majority decision,” Bellamy says, nodding at Madi. “You are going to talk to your mom tomorrow and figure out what’s going on. No arguing.”

Clarke rolls her eyes but agrees. “Fine.”

He waits until they’re in bed before he brings it up again, the worry nagging at him.

“What if it’s something bad?” he murmurs into Clarke’s hair as he wraps himself around her, the way they almost always fall sleep. He has a lump in his throat and has to swallow hard to even get the words out.

She covers the hand that’s resting on her stomach with her own and squeezes.

“I’m sure it’s not,” she whispers back.

“We know so little about this planet, it could be anything,” he continues. “The air, even, or the water or the food…”

“If it was, someone else would be showing symptoms as well,” Clarke reasons, and he knows that, of course, on a logical level. Doesn’t mean it helps. “Do you want to know what I think, honestly?”

“Mm-hm.”

She turns in his arms so she can look at him as she continues.

“The most logical thing is some sort of deficiency, probably iron,” she says. “That causes tiredness, and sometimes headaches and dizziness, which I have been experiencing, now that I look back at it from that perspective.”

It doesn’t sound too bad.

“What would you do about that?” he asks, wanting some sort of practical plan, something he can do.

“I’ll talk to Mom about it and take a look at the original analyses we did of all the fruits and berries. I know some of the things we grew on the Ark were rich in iron, like spinach and broccoli, but I’m sure some of the plants on this planet must be as well. I’ll just have to eat more of those and I’ll be fine in no time.”

“OK.”

She squeezes his hand again. “Does that make you feel better?”

It doesn’t eliminate the nagging worry at the back of his mind that it’s something worse, but it does help. “Yeah, a little.”

Clarke drifts off almost immediately, like she always does these days, her head tucked under his chin and her warm breath against his chest, but Bellamy lies awake for a long time before sleep finally drags him under, trying and failing to stop his mind from wandering to the worst case scenarios.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, a bit more action in this one – babies being born, people getting sick, building work getting finished up… and what’s wrong with Clarke?


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right - a few warnings for this chapter. First off, there are references to abortion, nothing that goes into details in any way, but please be aware of that as you read. And if you're afraid of needles, there is a scene where blood is taken, so heads up for that. Also, pretty explicit smut at the end, if you’re not into that, you can skip the rest of the chapter when things start to heat up, though there is some dialogue and plot hidden in there as well  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-21-**

 

Clarke hadn’t realized that she was actually worrying Bellamy, or that Madi had noticed anything off with her, but when they gang up on her – yes, she knows they’re not really, but she still feels a little betrayed – she finally admits that she should probably have her mom do a check-up.

At first, she really had thought it was just the after effects of the stomach bug, which had hit her harder than most and left her barely able to get out of bed for almost a week. Then she blamed working too hard, which she still thinks is the main contributing factor. But maybe there is something else, most likely iron deficiency like she explained to Bellamy when his voice almost broke on ‘what if it’s something bad’.

So when she gets to the med bay the next morning, she turns to Jackson. “Are you OK here for a while? I need to talk to my mom.”

The room is almost empty, just two beds occupied at the moment, and Jackson assures them that he’ll be fine.

“Is something wrong?” Abby asks after Clarke closes the door to one of the enclosed rooms they put in towards the back of the med bay for patients that need more privacy.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Clarke quickly assures her. “I’ve been tired lately, and last night, Bellamy and Madi sort of ganged up on me and ordered me to let you give me a check-up.”

“Good,” her mom says, opening a cabinet to get out a syringe and test tube. Luckily, the med bay on the Eligius ship had been well stocked with not only machines and medicines, but syringes and other equipment that they sterilize carefully so they can be re-used. “I was going to say something soon if you didn’t come to me on your own.”

So her mom has noticed too, great.

“I’m sure it’s just iron deficiency or something,” Clarke continues.

“Probably,” Abby agrees, gesturing at Clarke to pull the sleeve of her shirt up. “Or some other deficiency, but if it is, we can look at your diet and change it so you get more of whatever it is you need.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Clarke says as her mom slides the needle into the crook of her arm. She winces slightly, but keeps her arm relaxed as the blood starts filling the tube.

“I’ll pop this in the machine and we should have the results in a few minutes,” Abby says when she pulls the needle out, handing Clarke a clean rag to press against the pin-prick.

“OK, I’ll just stay in here for now,” she replies, carefully sitting down on the chair in the room. “I got a little light headed.”

Abby squeezes her arm before leaving, and Clarke spends the next five minutes with her head leaning back against the wall, breathing deeply to get the room to stop spinning. She’s just managed it when Abby opens the door again, a piece of paper in her hand and a frown on her face.

Clarke’s stomach immediately drops as she realizes that maybe Bellamy was right to worry. Maybe it _is_ something bad.

“Your poker face kind of sucks,” she says, voice a little shaky, and her mom looks up. “What is it? What’s wrong with me?”

“No, honey, there’s nothing _wrong_ with you,” Abby assures her.

“Then what’s with the face?”

“It’s just… not the result I was expecting.”

“So it’s not iron deficiency?” Clarke’s going from worried to annoyed quickly – why won’t her mom just spit it out, whatever it is?

“Your iron levels are a little low, so we need to address that, though it’s not the cause of your other symptoms but a symptom in itself.” Abby pauses for a moment, as if trying to think of how best to say whatever it is she has to say. “Honey, the blood test came back positive for hCG.”

Clarke just stares at her for a long moment.

“That’s human chorionic gonadotropin,” Abby expands, unnecessarily of course. Clarke knows what hCG is.

Her first thought is that she should have known. She should have recognized the symptoms, figured it out but… it’s just not…

“But I still have my implant,” she argues feebly.

“I know you do, and I’m not saying this test is absolute confirmation,” her mom says, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “But like all technology, those implants are not infallible, I know of five… well, six cases where they failed, for no apparent reason that we could ever discern. And I’m sure there must have been more cases on the Ark that never got back to me, women who… took care of the problem themselves.”

Clarke knows what she means – she’s performed five abortions on women who have gotten pregnant despite their implants, and then there’s Octavia.

“It’s possible that the radiation wave during Praimfaya affected your implant somehow, or it just failed for some other reason. It doesn’t really matter though, the end result is the same.”

Clarke lets out a humorless laugh. “I thought the radiation would make me infertile, if it did anything.”

“Well, let’s be happy it didn’t, OK? Is your period regular? When was the last one?”

“I… I haven’t had any periods since we got here,” Clarke says. “I thought it was the cryo, messing with my body. We were frozen for over a century!”

Abby doesn’t let the small outburst shake her, just answers calmly. “Well, it probably was, in the beginning. Everyone experienced that. But all the women I’ve talked to about this started menstruating again between two and four months after we landed. The fact that you haven’t had any periods probably means conception happened during your first ovulation. I’m assuming you and Bellamy have been having sex for… around four months?”

Clarke tries to do the math in her head. She was awake for two weeks before everyone else, so even if her period didn’t return for four months, she should have still gotten it… almost two months ago. She looks down at her stomach, finding her hand already resting there, even though she has no memory of placing it there.

“Yeah, that sounds about right… What do we…” she starts, but has to clear her throat to be able to continue. “How can we find out for sure?” There’s really no doubt in her mind anymore, but she has to know for absolute certain.

“I can do a vaginal exam, that will either confirm or deny it immediately,” her mom says, and Clarke tries to focus on her voice. “But since we don’t have your last period to use as a reference point, I’d like to do an ultrasound, that would let me get measurements so I can estimate how far along you are.”

Clarke nods absentmindedly. “OK. Let’s… let’s do that. I need to talk to Bellamy first, though.”

“Of course.” Abby nods. “I’ll get everything set up here, and you just come back when you’ve talked this through.”

Clarke leaves the med bay, vaguely aware that Jackson gives her a worried look as she passes him.

She stops when she gets out in the open air, dragging in a few deep breaths and trying to focus on what she needs to do.

She knows Bellamy’s working on the farm down in the valley, but she really doesn’t think she’ll make it down there right now. As if someone was listening, the door to Raven’s workshop, just across from the med bay, opens and Murphy emerges.

“Murphy!” Clarke calls, and he looks up.

“Hey, Griffin,” he greets, ambling over to her.

“Can you do me a favor?” she asks. “Can you go down to the farm and tell Bellamy that I’m looking for him?”

“I’m not some messenger for your booty calls,” he grumbles.

“Please,” she adds, and he takes a closer look at her.

“Are you OK?”

Clarke nods quickly. “I’m fine, really. Can you just get him for me? Tell him I’m at home, OK?”

He just nods before turning around and heading off in the direction of the valley, and Clarke wouldn’t say that he _runs_ , but he’s definitely hurrying. Poor Murphy, she must have really freaked him out.

She makes her way back to their cabin slowly, mind whirling not with dizziness, which she’s grateful for, but thoughts. She has no idea how she feels about this herself, so how will Bellamy take it? It’s still so early, they’ve barely gotten used to their little family being just the two of them and Madi…

Bellamy must have run all the way from the farm, because he gets home just minutes after Clarke and is trying to catch his breath as he opens the door.

“What’s wrong?” he pants out, eyes roaming over her as if he can spot the problem.

“You didn’t have to run,” she admonishes him.

“You sent Murphy to get me, and all he could tell me was ‘I don’t know, man, she didn’t really look all that great’.”

“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t feeling up to walking all the way down there,” she explains, pushing him down in one of the chairs and claiming the one next to it for herself. “I should have known Murphy would exaggerate.”

Bellamy finally seems to have caught his breath and gives her a scrutinizing look. “So you’re not dying?”

She shakes her head reassuringly. “I’m not. Actually… kind of the opposite.”

He frowns at that. “What?”

Clarke takes a deep breath before she begins. “OK, so Mom ran some blood tests, and while I do have slightly lower iron levels than normal, the test also showed the presence of hCG.” At his quizzical look, she continues. “It’s a hormone that’s produced in the female body during pregnancy.”

The room is completely silent for a long moment as Bellamy opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again without speaking. Finally, he clears his throat. “But… I thought you had one of those implants.”

“I do. Mom says it could have been fried in Praimfaya, or it could have just malfunctioned. Apparently, they do sometimes.”

She doesn’t have to say his sister’s name to know that Octavia hangs in the air between them.

“So, what do we do now?” Bellamy asks after another silent moment, and Clarke launches into her mom’s reasoning.

“Well, Mom said that we should probably do an ultrasound, to really confirm it. Also, since we can’t figure out _when_ it happened the normal way, she wants to use that to calculate how long I’ve been… pregnant.”

She sees him repeat the word ‘pregnant’ silently, before running a hand through his hair.

“What do you mean ‘the normal way’,” he wonders.

“Well, to figure out when conception occurred, we would normally start with the first day of my last period and count ahead two weeks, which is when ovulation happens,” she says, feeling like her medical textbook back on the Ark. “But I haven’t had any periods since we got here, so it doesn’t help. Mom thinks it must have happened the first time I ovulated after cryo, but she can’t be sure when that was since that’s varied for other women, between two and four months or so.”

He looks like he might have a hundred other questions. “OK, so let’s do the ultrasound, so we know,” he says instead.

Clarke nods. “OK. Mom was setting it up when I left the med bay, so we can head over right away.”

The walk through the settlement is quiet, Clarke glancing sideways at Bellamy every few steps, but his eyes are focused on the ground in front of him and his brows are furrowed. She can’t read him at all right now, and it’s completely terrifying.

Jackson’s gone when they enter the med bay, possibly sent away by her mom to make them more at ease, and the two beds that were occupied earlier are now empty. Clarke vaguely hopes that the poor patients weren’t sent home too early because of her. Abby smiles when she sees them. “Come on through here,” she says, gesturing at another of the rooms along the back.

They follow her into the room and Clarke hops up on the examination able in the middle, leaning back and pulling her shirt up to expose her stomach before her mom even asks her to.

“Can you pull your pants down a little too?” Abby asks, grabbing the ultrasound wand that Clarke herself used on Diyoza more than once before Hope was born. Clarke does as she’s told and keeps her eyes locked on her mom’s hand as she presses the wand against her lower stomach.

She feels Bellamy take her hand in his and turns to face him. The look on his face is somewhere between fascination and terror, and she gives him a smile that she hopes is comforting.

“There we are.”

At Abby’s voice, they both turn their attention to her and the monitor beside her. The image on it is grainy, but there’s no mistaking it – there’s a baby there, body and head and arms and legs. All the bits and pieces.

Clarke struggles to suck in a breath, tears rising in her eyes, and feels Bellamy’s fingers tighten around hers.

“Everything looks good,” Abby continues. “The fetus is about four inches, which would put you at around fifteen weeks.”

She flicks a switch on the side of the machine, and a fluttering sound fills the room.

“Is that… that’s the heartbeat,” Clarke realizes.

“It is. Good and strong, around 165 beats per minute, which is completely normal at this stage.”

Abby leaves the monitor on for a while, moving the wand around to get a look from different angles, before turning it off and putting the machine away. Bellamy still hasn’t said anything, but his hand remains wrapped around Clarke’s like a vice.

“Now, I know this was a surprise for both of you,” Abby says, back to them as she busies herself with arranging the ultrasound machine. “And while it might have been better if we caught this earlier, you do still have… options.”

Clarke knows instantly what she means and her entire body revolts against it. She feels Bellamy tense next to her.

“I think we just need some time to get used to the idea,” she tells her mom.

Abby turns back to them and nods. “Of course. But if you’re worried about anything or if you have any questions, let me know, OK?”

“We will,” Clarke assures her as she pulls her pants back up, slides her shirt down and hops down from the examination table.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?” Abby suggests. “Get some rest, talk this through.”

Clarke offers her a weak smile. “Thanks, Mom.”

She reaches for Bellamy’s hand again, but he passes her and leaves the room without looking at her. Clarke frowns but follows him out through the med bay and back the same route they took not even half an hour ago.

His legs are longer than hers, so she doesn’t manage to catch up to him until they’re back at the cabin. She closes the door behind them, turning to find him disappearing through the door into their bedroom. Well, if he wants her to corner him…

He’s standing on his side of the bed, his back to her, eyes fixed on the empty wall in front of him.

“I know you weren’t expecting this, but you didn’t have to just storm out of there,” she says, voice small, as the gears slowly turn in her mind. Is he mad? Does he think she did this on purpose? That she’s trying to trap him or something?

She wants to read his eyes, try to figure out what he’s thinking, but he doesn’t turn at her voice.

“Do you not want this?” he asks quietly after a moment.

“What?”

He finally turns around and meets her eyes, the raw emotions clearly visible in his almost making her take a step back. “Do you not want this? Because in the end, it’s your body, your choice, right? I don’t get a say.”

She can’t do anything but stare at him for a long moment. Where is this coming from? He was the one who just walked away, leaving her to hurry after him through the entire settlement…

“How can you think that? I…”

“You said we had to think about it!” he bursts out, running a hand through his hair in frustration and turning away from her again. “When your mom said… you said we had to think about it.”

“I said we needed some time to get used to the idea!”

“It’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not!” She has to make him understand, has to find some way to explain. Desperately, she reaches for him, pulling him down by the hand until they’re both sitting on the bed. He won’t meet her eyes though, instead focusing on the floor. “Bellamy, look at me, please.”

He reluctantly raises his eyes to hers, and all the emotions are still there, but muted now, as if he’s already trying to push them away, to prepare for what he thinks she’s about to say. She still doesn’t know how he jumped so quickly to that conclusion, but she can’t let him think that.

“Look…” she starts, trying to find the right words. “I wasn’t expecting this, so it’s been a bit of a shock, OK? And don’t say it wasn’t for you too, I saw the look on your face when I told you what my mom said.”

He lets out a huff. “Fine, yes, it was a surprise. But not…”

“I’m not done,” she interrupts him before he can get worked up again. “Yes, it was a shock. But don’t you _ever_ , not even for a moment, think that I don’t want this. I want it so much it scares me.”

Finally, the look in his eyes softens and he shifts so he’s facing her directly, taking her other hand in his as well and squeezing lightly. “Why?”

Clarke looks down on the bed between them, their entwined hands, trying to collect her thoughts.

“I was never… back on the Ark, I never really wanted kids, not in any concrete way, anyway. I knew I’d probably have one at some point, since that was what was expected of me – grow up, become a doctor, get married and have a kid. Contribute to the survival of the human race or whatever. But it was just something… abstract, nothing I really thought about.

Then I was thrown in solitary, and we were sent down here and I can honestly say that it didn’t cross my mind. I didn’t think I’d make it to nineteen, let alone to a point in my life where I would even consider bringing a child into it. And even later, after Praimfaya, when I had Madi, it was still some not-quite-real possibility way in the future that I never thought about. Maybe I was afraid to, I didn’t know what the radiation might have done to my body, maybe it wasn’t even possible for me anymore. So I didn’t think about it. And then we came here, and you… maybe I should have started thinking about it, I don’t know. But we’ve been so busy, and everything still feels so up in the air and I just… didn’t.”

She pauses for a moment, lifting her gaze to his face again, needing to see the look in his eyes. His head is tilted slightly to the side and he’s watching her with an open expression, full of love. It makes her heart soar and her stomach twist and her eyes water all at the same time.

“But then I saw that… that _person_ , this tiny human being that we _made_ , on that screen, and I heard the heartbeat and I… I _wanted_ it so bad, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life, it was like I couldn’t breathe. And there were all these emotions just running haywire inside me and, yeah, part of me was terrified… because there’s so much that can go wrong. What if I can’t… what if I’m not a good mom? I’ve done so many bad things, I just…”

“Hey, hey, no,” Bellamy cuts her off, shaking his head. “Don’t even go there. We’ve put all of that behind us, remember? And what do you mean that you wouldn’t be a good mom? You already are, you’re a great mom, just ask Madi.”

“But it’s not the same,” she insists. “She was six when I found her, she had already been surviving all on her own for months. Sure, I took care of her, but she took care of me too, in a way.”

“It’s not the same,” he agrees. “But that doesn’t mean it’ll be worse in some way. Maybe it can be even better?”

Clarke’s not quite sure she believes that just yet, but she nods anyway.

“Come here.” She feels him tug on her hands and willingly moves into his lap, his arms going around her tightly. “I’m sorry I said you didn’t want to do this.”

“It’s OK,” she assures him. “I was kind of starting to wonder if you didn’t, it felt like you were pulling away from me.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry I made you think that.” His lips graze her temple and she leans into the touch.

“I’m sorry I said that thing about needing time,” she replies. “I just meant that it would take some time before we got used to the idea, not that I wanted to think about…” She can’t finish the sentence, but she thinks he understands.

“And it will,” Bellamy says. “I know I still can’t quite believe it.”

“Yeah, me neither.” She moves her head a little so she can bury her face against his neck and breathe him in, and he runs a hand up and down her back in a soothing motion. “I love you.” She’s not sure he can actually hear her since the words are spoken into his skin, but she feels his arms tighten around her even more.

“I love you, so, so much.”

They sit like that for a long moment, breathing in synch, before Bellamy speaks again.

“I have thought about it.”

Clarke pulls back a little to look at him. “You have?”

He shrugs. “I never used to, back on the Ark. The whole thing with O, I knew the main focus of my life would always be keeping her safe, hidden. Couldn’t exactly bring another person into that, so no kids for me. It honestly didn’t even feel like a sacrifice, I wouldn’t have wanted to bring a child into that world, the way things were up there…” He pauses and lets out a breath. “But then we weren’t on the Ark anymore… I mean, I haven’t been thinking about it in a real, let’s get working on that kind of way or anything, but… yeah. Seeing you with Madi, I’ve thought about it.”

She’s not sure if it’s intentional, but she picks up on what he’s not quite saying – that it hasn’t just been an abstract concept to him, the idea of maybe, someday, having kids with someone. He’s thought about having them with _her_.

He’s still watching her, eyes incredibly soft, and she does the only thing she can – she leans in and kisses him, soft, almost chaste at first, but he soon deepens it, pulling her flush against him, and she feels a tug on something deep inside her.

_Right,_ she thinks. _Fifteen weeks, second trimester – heightened libido._

Not wanting the moment to go to waste – when do they ever have time to themselves in the middle of the day? – she trails one hand up his chest to wrap around his neck, burying her fingers in his curls.

She feels his hands flex against her back and then he lets out a long breath that she takes as encouragement.

Their position is really awkward, with her sideways in his lap, so she breaks the kiss to be able to move so she has one knee on either side of his legs instead, which puts them face to face.

“Hi,” she says quietly, leaning in so their noses are touching but nothing else.

“Hey,” he replies, sliding his hands down to her hips and squeezing.

She closes the last of the distance between them, sighing into the kiss when he immediately deepens it.

Their lips just move together lazily for a long moment, Bellamy’s hands staying on her hips, squeezing occasionally, and hers tangled in his hair. Soon enough, though, she wants more, _needs_ more, so she slides her hands over his shoulders and down his chest so she can tug his shirt loose and slip one hand under the material, her fingers trailing over his stomach in a way that makes him press her closer and buck his hips up against her. She pushes down against him at the same time, moaning into his mouth at the feeling.

Desperate to feel his skin against hers, she grabs the hem of his shirt and tugs it up, breaking their kiss so she can pull it all the way off before getting rid of her own. Bellamy’s hands immediately go to her back, struggling with her bra for a moment before he gets it off and can cup her breasts in his hands, squeezing slightly.

Clarke hisses a little at the feeling, a mix of pleasure and pain. He immediately freezes. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re just a little sore,” she replies – another thing she probably should have noticed. “It’s OK, just not too hard.”

He gently runs the pads of his thumbs over her nipples, making her arch her back into the touch.

“This OK?”

“Uh huh, that’s… oh God.”

The feeling goes straight to her core and for a moment she thinks she might come just from this, before the tension eases a little. Bellamy’s watching her, eyes dark and hooded.

“That close, huh?” he mumbles, voice rough, before leaning forward to take one nipple into his mouth. He sucks just lightly, much less pressure than he normally uses, but it’s absolutely perfect right now.

Clarke slides a hand into his hair again, fingers wrapping around his curls in what she’s sure is almost a painful grip to keep him in place.

His hand, meanwhile, ventures further south, where he deftly unbuttons her pants and slides a hand inside, finger tracing her slit for a moment before he finds the bundle of nerves just above it.

Clarke can immediately feel her orgasm coming on and tries to pull away from his fingers.

“No, no, not yet,” she manages to gasp out.

He lets his teeth graze her breast before releasing it and looking up at her, an almost disappointed expression on his face. “Why not?”

“I just… I want you inside me.”

Bellamy just chuckles. “Going to have to get up for that one, I’m afraid.”

He’s right, of course, so she quickly stands up and pulls her pants and underwear off in one motion. He does the same before pulling her flush against him, running his hands down her side a few times and making her shiver.

“Lie down,” he whispers into her ear, but Clarke shakes her head, pushing him down on the bed in the same position as before climbing into his lap again.

“Like this,” she murmurs, inclining her hips so her folds slide against his hard length.

Bellamy groans at the feeling, his hands running up her back and holding her against him as he leans forward to kiss her. She kisses him back eagerly, repeating the movement of her hips a few times before sliding her hand between them to position him at her entrance.

But he grabs her wrist before she reaches her goal. “Wait.”

“What?” Her brain is muddled, heart racing and breath coming in shallow gasps, and she can’t understand what he’s doing.

“Are you sure this is OK?” he asks, voice shaking slightly.

“OK? What do you mean…”

“Is it safe, I mean? For the baby?”

It’s the first time he’s said the word, and Clarke feels tears rise in her eyes. Stupid hormones. “Yes,” she assures him.

“Are you absolutely sure?” he insists. “What if…”

“Do you want to ask my mom about it?” she cuts him off. Yes, it’s adorable that he’s worried, but she’s horny, damn it!

Bellamy’s entire body shudders at her suggestion. “God, no.”

“Well, then you’re either going to have to trust me, or we won’t be having sex for the next eight or nine months,” she concludes.

He frowns. “Eight or nine months? But your mom said, what, fifteen weeks? That’s almost four months, so shouldn’t it be another five months before it’s born?”

“More like six,” Clarke corrects him. “A normal pregnancy is 40 weeks, so 25 weeks left. And if you think we’re having sex right after I push something the size of those red fruits that grow down by the lake out of my vagina, you are sorely mistaken.”

Bellamy winces. “Sorry about that.”

“Not… just your fault. So, what’s it going to be?” She punctuates her question with another grinding motion of her hips at the same time as she leans down to suck a bruise into his shoulder. “No sex for months and months, or are you going to trust that I know what I’m talking about?” His hand flexes against her hip as she trails her lips up his throat to whisper in his ear. “I can even draw you a diagram, show you where everything goes, so you can see that you won’t get anywhere near the baby, no matter how deep you fuck me.”

He groans into her shoulder and she knows she’s won the argument when he slips a hand between them to wrap around himself. She rises up a little so she can finally sink down on him.

“Oh fuck…” she gasps when he hits that sweet spot deep inside her.

They stay still for what feels like minutes, enjoying the first moments of being joined together like this, before Clarke rises up until he almost slips out of her and then sinks back down. Soon they’ve found their rhythm where he thrusts up into her as she pushes down on him, and before long, she’s right on the edge again, this time tumbling over it with one final rub of Bellamy’s thumb against her clit. She can tell that he must be close too, by the way he doesn’t slow his thrusts as she comes down from her climax, and her muscles have barely stopped convulsing before his hips buck one last time and then stills as he spills inside her.

He moves them more towards the middle of the bed before collapsing onto his back, and Clarke follows suit, burying her head against his shoulder, his dick still deep inside her slowly softening.

So far, this pregnancy sex thing is pretty amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so it seems like pretty much everyone figured out what was going on after the last chapter – and I was trying to be at least a little sneaky! This was always the plan, though, the conversation with the misunderstanding in this chapter was the third and final starting point for the whole fic. I just didn’t want to spoil this little plot twist by using the tags babyfic/unplanned pregnancy… forgive me?  
> On another note – this fic has been completely unbeta’d, and I think it’s been OK (I hope there haven’t been any blatant errors at least). I’m working on a new story, though, and I would really like a beta for it, since it’s a bit more multidimensional and the time aspect is a little tricky and sometimes gives me a headache. Would anyone be interested in helping me out? Or give me a hint on where I can find a beta? Someone from the US (who can pick up on all the little cultural mistakes I undoubtedly make) would be perfect and, if possible, someone who has lived or currently live in New York, where a lot of the story takes place. I’ve been there a couple of times, and I’m using a lot of Google Maps, but input from a local would be amazing!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, we’re picking up where we left off, so a bit of a warning for some naked time in the first part of the chapter, though nothing too explicit.  
> Also, a general note going forward – I have never been pregnant myself and have no personal experiences to use when it comes to this, so anything baby/pregnancy related comes from what I remember from Call the Midwife and a lot of googling. Seriously, I don’t know how many times I was asked to confirm that I’m an actual person and not a machine… Apologies in advance if I get anything wrong, I’m only human, but feel free to let me know if you spot anything weird!  
> As always, I own nothing relating to The 100

**-22-**

 

Bellamy trails a hand up and down Clarke’s back as their breathing and heartbeats slowly return to normal.

“Everything OK?” he mumbles into her hair after a moment.

“Everything’s fine, stop worrying,” she replies, pinching his arm. “You do remember that we had sex last night, right? What’s so different now?”

“The difference is that now I _know_ there’s a baby in there,” he tells her, sliding a finger along the side of her stomach, which is the only part of it that isn’t pressed against him. “It’s… freaking me out a little, OK?” He’s still not completely sure the sex was a good idea, still slightly worried that he’s done something to hurt that tiny little human inside Clarke. He does trust her, of course, trusts that she knows what she’s talking about. It’s not a rational fear, he’s aware of that.

She rolls off him and props herself up on one elbow so she can look at him. He mirrors her position so they’re stretched out on their sides next to each other.

“And you’re not even the one growing a new person,” she notes. “Imagine how I’m feeling.”

He tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and lets his hand linger against her cheek. Clarke leans into the touch, her eyes sliding closed.

“Did I tell you how much I love you?”

She smiles. “You did. But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

Bellamy leans forward to kiss her lightly. “I love you.” Sliding a hand down her side, he places it lightly on her stomach. He imagines there’s a tiny bump, but he’s not sure. “And I love you.”

Clarke’s hand comes down on top of his and she pushes both of their hands harder against her belly.

“I can’t believe we’re having a baby,” she murmurs against his lips.

He pulls back slightly, the words washing over him. “Oh, God, we’re having a baby.” Yes, he did see the ultrasound, he knows that it’s happening. Doesn’t mean it has registered completely yet.

She chuckles. “Why are _you_ freaking out? Your part’s done, I’m the one who’ll be doing all the hard work here.”

He has tried very hard _not_ to think about that up until now. He still remembers Octavia’s birth, his mother fighting not to scream from the pain, passing out once his sister was born… he knows that this won’t be like that, they’ll have Abby and Jackson for starters, actual medical help. They won’t have to worry about guards hearing something and coming to investigate. There might even be some pain killers. Still, he doesn’t like thinking about him being the reason Clarke’s in that kind of pain, no matter the situation.

“Hey,” her voice drags him back to the present, her fingers playing with his curls. “Where did you go?”

He offers her a smile. “Sorry, just… thinking. I hate that you’ll have to go through this. You know that I would take all of it if I could, right?”

“I know,” she assures him. “Is this about… your mom? Octavia?”

He nods. “I was just six, but I will never forget that day… I had nightmares about it for years.”

Clarke’s eyes widen. “You were there when Octavia was born?”

“Yeah. I had to take the baby, after, my mom, she… passed out for a while, from the pain, I don’t know…”

Clarke shifts forward until they’re skin on skin, their hands trapped between them, and leans her forehead against his.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that, it must have been traumatic, especially to a six-year-old,” she says, voice low. “But this will _not_ be like that, I promise, OK?”

“I know,” he replies. “Your mom will be there, and Jackson, you’ll have help.”

“Exactly. Hope’s delivery went great last month, remember? Diyoza was back to ordering Eligius around within a week.”

It’s true, he knows that.

“I know you’re still going to worry,” Clarke continues. “But can you try to keep it to a minimum? I don’t want you to develop an ulcer, you’ll be no use to me at all if Mom’s got you confined to a bed in the med bay while I’m having this baby, OK?”

He has to laugh at that. “I’ll do my very best, OK?”

“That’s all I’m asking.” She leans forward to give him a quick kiss before flopping onto her back. “We’re going to have to tell Madi. And the gang, I guess. Now that I think about it, Raven’s been giving me weird looks lately, she might have figured this out before we did. Or at least suspected.”

“She _is_ smarter than the rest of us combined,” Bellamy says, letting his finger trail patterns on her stomach. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she has.”

“Stop that, it tickles!” Clarke complains, slapping at his hand.

He chuckles and slides his hand around her waist instead, pulling her against him.

“Think we’ll get away with staying here until Madi gets home?” he asks, not really seriously, nuzzling against her throat.

Clarke sighs. “You don’t think they’ll send out a search party if you don’t get back to the farm? You’ve been gone a while already.”

“I don’t know. Murphy stayed when I left, I’m sure he explained as much as he could. If anything, I think they’ll be worried about you.”

“I am sorry he freaked you out,” she apologizes. “He was just… well, being Murphy, going on about how he wasn’t our messenger boy or something, and I guess I was a little shaken up, I had just talked to my mom, so he might have thought it was actually something bad.”

“He does care about you, you know,” Bellamy says, and she sighs.

“I know. He’s family. Family that annoy you most of the time.”

“Exactly. Every family needs that.”

“He’s going to be the uncle that teaches the kid dirty jokes and gives them their first taste of moonshine, you do realize that?”

He groans in response to that. “We are not leaving our kid alone with him.”

“God no,” she agrees. “We’ll have a ton of babysitters to choose from, we won’t have to scrape the bottom of the barrel.”

He laughs before pushing himself into a sitting position.

“So how about I go down to the farm, let them know that everything’s fine but that I’ll be gone the rest of the day, and then I’ll stop by the mess on my way back and tell Madi to come back here for lunch? We can tell her then.”

“Sounds good,” Clarke agrees. “Pick up some food too, I think all we have are nuts and some fruit.”

“Will do.” With a sigh, he reluctantly gets up and starts pulling his clothes back on.

Clarke stays where she is, watching him, which is distracting to say the least. When he’s fully dressed, he leans over the bed to give her a final kiss, running a thumb lightly over her nipple at the same time, making her back arch off the bed.

“Don’t go anywhere, OK? In fact, don’t even move, I’m sure we’ll have time for another round before Madi gets back.”

She whines low in her throat and pushes herself up off the bed when he pulls back, chasing after him and pouting when he stands up fully and she can no longer reach.

“Tease,” she accuses him, trailing one hand down her stomach and between her legs, her eyes falling shut when she reaches her goal.

Bellamy can feel his dick twitching in his pants and it’s oh so tempting to just join her in bed again.

“Now who’s a tease,” he all but growls, and Clarke smiles lazily at him. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

And before he can give into the urge, he turns on his heel and leaves the room.

Work on the farm seems to be more or less nonexistent when he gets there, Miller, Murphy and Jordan leaning against the wall of the small shed they’ve already built for the equipment they’re using, so they won’t have to drag it up and down the hill every day.

“Hard at work, I see,” he says when he’s close enough, and they all look up at him.

“Unlike you,” Miller notes drily, before turning serious. “Is everything OK with Clarke? Murphy said she wasn’t looking too good when he talked to her.”

“I said she looked like shit, actually, but whatever,” Murphy pipes in, but Bellamy chooses to ignore him.

“Yeah, she’s fine. Not feeling great though, so if you don’t need me I thought I’d call it a day early and make sure she takes it easy the rest of the day?”

“Of course,” Jordan quickly assures him. “We’re just wrapping up for lunch and then we’re going to plow the last field, don’t need you for that.”

Bellamy frowns. “Lunch already? I didn’t realize it was that late.”

“I wonder why…” Murphy drawls. “What could possibly make you lose track of time?”

“Show some respect, man, his girlfriend’s sick, it’s not like they’re getting it on when she feels like crap,” Miller says, smacking Murphy in the back of the head.

“Fine, fine,” Murphy says, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry.”

“No worries,” Bellamy replies. He sees no need to tell them that Murphy is sort of right. He can benefit from being taken down a peg or two now and then. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know so you wouldn’t worry. Good luck with the rest of the work today.”

“Tell Clarke we hope she feels better,” Jordan says, and Bellamy gives him a grateful nod before climbing the hill again.

All the kids are sitting in a circle around Gaia when he gets to the mess hall, and he quietly sneaks up behind Madi and puts a hand on her shoulder. She turns around, her eyes widening when she sees him.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, voice quiet but urgent. Right, she had been worried about Clarke too, he remembers.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he assures her. “I promise. But Clarke and I want to talk to you, so do you think you could come back to the cabin for lunch?”

She scrutinizes him for a moment, apparently deciding that if something really _was_ wrong, he wouldn’t be able to hide it. Which, yeah, probably not. “OK. But we’re almost done, if you wait, like, five minutes we can walk back together?”

Remembering how he left Clarke in bed back at the cabin, he quickly shakes his head. “I need to grab some food for us, so I’ll meet you there.”

“OK.”

He makes a quick stop in the kitchens where he grabs some dried meat and berries for them before hurrying back to the cabin. Closing the door behind him, he puts the food on the table before calling out to Clarke.

“Madi will be here in a little while, so you might want to get dressed.”

She appears in the doorway to the bedroom a few minutes later, shirt thrown on but no bra underneath, he can tell, buttoning her pants. “What?”

“Apparently it’s lunch time,” he says.

“Oh.” She shrugs. “I guess we got a little distracted.”

He laughs. “You could say that.”

“Did everything go OK at the farm?” she asks, going to the kitchen cupboards to get plates and cutlery for them.

“Yeah, they asked about you and I told them you were fine but not feeling great. They didn’t really need me this afternoon, so no worries.”

“And Madi?”

He pulls out a chair for her before sitting down next to her at the table, taking the plates and setting them out while she puts the cutlery down. “She asked what was wrong, but I think she believed me when I said everything was fine.”

Clarke gives him an apologetic look. “I really am sorry I had you two so worried. I honestly didn’t think anything was wrong.”

“No, I know,” he assures her, squeezing her hand. “And you were right, really. Nothing _is_ wrong.” Everything is actually very, very right. Which is kind of scary in its own way.

“No, but things are definitely going to change,” she says, a thoughtful look on her face. “In a way, I’m glad we didn’t figure it out sooner.”

“Why?” Bellamy asks.

“Just… the first trimester of any pregnancy is always the most risky,” she explains. “I think something like 75 percent of all miscarriages happen during that period. It’s why people in old movies always waited to tell their friends and families until they got to the second trimester, or past week twelve.”

“But we’re already there,” he says, realizing what she means.

“Exactly. So we don’t have to worry about that.”

“That is good,” he agrees, glad to have one less thing to worry about, just as the door bangs open to reveal Madi.

“Hey, kiddo,” Clarke greets her with a smile. “How was class?”

Madi crosses her arms over her chest. “No.”

Bellamy has to hold back a laugh at the look on her face. Clarke just sighs. “Can you at least come sit down and eat something?” she wheedles.

Madi stays where she is for another moment, before letting her arms fall to her sides and taking the last chair at the table. It makes Bellamy realize that they’re going to need another one – not right away, of course, but within the next few years. More urgent is baby clothes – he does a quick calculation in his head and thinks that they should be able to take over most of Hope’s things, she’ll be six months old by the time the baby’s born and should have outgrown a lot by then – a crib, more place for storing all the stuff that comes with a baby. Diapers, he knows Diyoza is using a type of cloth diaper, so at least they won’t have to figure that out. He’s probably forgetting a lot of things, it’s been so long since he needed to worry about keeping a baby clothed and fed and happy. And long term, they’ll need to add another bedroom to the cabin, more furniture… it’s a little overwhelming.

“OK, what’s wrong?” Madi asks, voice small and arms crossed over her chest again as if trying to shield herself from what’s coming. He reaches out to squeeze her arm.

“I told you that everything’s fine,” he reminds her, but she just rolls her eyes.

“And I believed you for, like, a minute before I realized that Clarke wouldn’t want you to tell me something bad in the middle of class.”

Bellamy gives Clarke an incredulous look, but she just shakes her head.

“Well, you should have believed him, because everything _is_ fine,” she tells Madi.

The girl still gives her a suspicious look. “You’re not sick again? It’s not something bad?”

“No, it’s not.” Clarke pauses, giving him a questioning look and he nods at her to continue. “The reason I haven’t been feeling well is that I’m pregnant.”

Madi’s quiet for a moment. “Pregnant?” she then repeats. “Like… you’re going to have a baby?”

Clarke nods. “That will be the end result in about six months, yes.”

“Cool.” Madi’s face breaks into a grin.

“Yeah?” Clarke lets out a breath. “You’re OK with that?”

“Of course I am,” Madi says with a shrug. “I figured it would happen sooner or later. I do know where babies come from, you know, I’m not a little kid.”

Bellamy’s sure she means it in that moment, but he still thinks there might be a crisis coming at some point in the future. Madi doesn’t call Clarke mom, but he knows that she does consider her a mother figure, so she might have a hard time with there being a baby that is _actually_ Clarke’s. He makes a mental note to bring it up with Clarke when he has a chance, so they can prepare for it. It’ll be important to make Madi feel like she’s a part of this, every step of the way, that she’s not being replaced in any way and that she’s just as important to both of them as this new baby. Which she absolutely is, he can’t imagine loving any child, even if it is biologically his, more than he loves her.

“Aren’t you?” Madi continues, and this time Bellamy does laugh.

“We’re happy about it,” he assures her. “We just want you to be too. This doesn’t change the way we feel about you, OK? You’ll always be family.”

“Duh, I know that. Can we eat now?”

He and Clarke exchange a relieved look and they all dig into the food, Madi asking questions every now and then – when is the baby coming? Do they know if it’s a boy or a girl?

Half an hour later, they send her back to the mess for her afternoon classes with strict instructions to not tell a soul. She solemnly promises she won’t and Bellamy thinks they have maybe a fifty-fifty shot of her actually being able to keep that promise. Worst case, he hopes the news at least won’t spread to the people they want to tell in person.

They stand in the doorway watching Madi disappear around a corner. Clarke sighs and wraps her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“So…” she starts. “I seem to recall _someone_ promising me another round before Madi got back. We never got the chance, but…”

Bellamy laughs. And it’s tempting, no doubt about it. “I remember that too. Or, we could…”

“You want to go talk to Mom again and ask her about what we need to think about from now on?” she finishes his sentence for him. “Food I should and shouldn’t be eating, things I should avoid doing…”

“Kind of,” he admits. “I know you know all this stuff already, I just…”

She squeezes him lightly. “It’s OK. You need to know all this stuff to, I get that. And I never did get around to talking food with her, I need to figure that out. Come on.”

-100-

They leave the med bay again an hour or so later, Bellamy armed with a list that Abby wrote down for him with the food Clarke should be eating more of, to get her iron levels up and hopefully give her more energy.

“She needs to eat more of these berries,” she said, showing him in the book Clarke is putting together about the food on the planet. They are planning on sitting down and coming up with names for everything at some point, but haven’t gotten around to it yet, so for now, all they have are the drawings and descriptions. “They’re rich in iron and folic acid. And fish – yes, Clarke, especially the blue ones, I know you don’t like the smell, but the baby needs the fatty acids, OK?”

As far as what Clarke should avoid doing, there isn’t much.

“No heavy lifting,” Abby instructed Clarke sternly. “And you should cut down a little on your hours here, take it a little easier.”

Bellamy kept his eyes firmly on the ground when Clarke asked her mom about sex, but Abby didn’t even flinch.

“It’s absolutely fine. If this develops into a high-risk pregnancy, if your blood pressure were to rise too much, for instance, I might put you on bedrest, in which case it would of course be out of the question, but I really don’t see why that would happen.”

It did feel better hearing it from a more or less impartial source, but still. He could happily go the rest of his life without discussing their sex life with Clarke’s mom again.

She also apologized for hinting that they might want to consider termination.

“I didn’t bring it up because I don’t want you to have this baby, absolutely not. You just both seemed so shocked and confused, I thought it would be best to a least put the option out there. But I am so glad you’ve decided to do this, really.”

The way her eyes lit up made him believe her, and objectively he can understand where she was coming from, now that he knows it’s not an actual option for either of them. Honestly, he’s not entirely sure how his mind jumped to that conclusion so quickly… and he hates that he made Clarke worry, too.

“Do you feel better now?” Clarke asks when they’re on their way back to their cabin again.

He wraps an arm around her waist and places a kiss on top of her head. “I do, thank you for humoring me.”

“I needed to know that stuff too, especially the food part,” she replies, wrinkling her nose. “I’m not happy about that fish, but I guess I’ll just have to bite the proverbial bullet. Or the actual fish, in this case.”

He laughs, steering her around the last corner before they reach their cabin. “You know… Madi still has at least two hours of classes left…”

They’re scrambling to find their clothes when the door bangs open a few hours later.

-100-

Madi swears up and down that she hasn’t said a word to anyone, and when they enter the mess that evening, Bellamy finally believes her.

“Hey, Griffin, good to see you’re not on your deathbed,” Murphy greets them drily when they reach their usual table, but Bellamy knows him well enough to hear the well concealed relief in his voice.

Tonight, another table has been pulled up next to theirs to make room for everyone – there are a few people who sort of float between their little group and others, like Octavia, Echo and her boyfriend, and Jordan, who are all here tonight along with Miller and Jackson. The latter gives Bellamy a knowing smile, and he wonders if the doctor might have pulled Miller along to their table this evening, anticipating their announcement.

“What? Did I miss something?” Raven asks, looking between Murphy and Clarke, who rolls her eyes.

“Murphy’s exaggerating. I wasn’t feeling so good, so I asked him to get Bellamy from the farm. It was really not a big deal.”

Madi leaves Clarke’s side to take the empty seat between Raven and Shaw, and Bellamy nudges Murphy so he and Emori will move down and let him and Clarke sit together on one end. Murphy grumbles a little, but Emori grabs him by the arm and tugs him along.

“Well, in that case…” Raven says when they’ve all sat down. “Drumroll please.”

Shaw dutifully uses his fingers as drumsticks against the edge of the table as Raven produces a container with liquid that she sets down in the middle of the table.

“RJ’s moonshine, take two,” Jordan announces from Shaw’s other side. “New and improved.”

“RJ’s?” Octavia asks curiously.

“Raven and Jordan’s,” Raven replies with a shrug. “Come on, nobody’s getting out of it this time, we’ve actually tasted it and it’s… OK, not amazing, but much better than Jasper’s batches back in Arkadia. Right, Madi, not you, you can’t have this stuff for a few more years.”

Everyone starts handing their mugs down the table for some of the drink, and Clarke throws Bellamy a look with raised eyebrows. He shrugs at her, figuring this is as good a way to reveal their news as any, and she gives him a brief smile.

Raven has collected all the mugs except for Clarke’s, and when she reaches for it, Clarke moves it away from her and shakes her head.

“I’m not drinking right now.”

There’s a loud discussion going on at the other end of the table, so only a few people actually hear her. Raven’s the first to connect the dots, her eyes widening.

“Oh my God!” she exclaims, reaching across the table to pull Clarke into a clumsy hug. “ _Oh my God_! Really?”

They both nod at Raven’s half-formed question, and she lets out a very un-Raven-like squeal that catches the attention of the rest of the table before she hugs Bellamy too.

“Complete sentences would be good, Reyes,” Murphy mutters, eyeing Raven suspiciously. Emori leans into his side and whispers something in his ear, and he coughs, raising his hand to pat Bellamy on the back. “Better you than me, man.”

Bellamy just rolls his eyes.

“Can someone please explain what’s going on?” Miller half-shouts from the end of the table furthest from them.

“They’re having a baby!” Raven yells back, drawing the attention from a few of the nearby tables too.

After that, it’s a seemingly endless streams of their friends and people they barely know hugging them, giving them well wishes or promises of babysitting when the time comes. Octavia manages to sneak her way in between Bellamy and Murphy and hugs him for a few long minutes, whispering how proud she is of him and how much she loves him, what a great dad he’ll be. By the time she finally pulls away with a slightly melancholy smile, they both have tears in their eyes.

The last to approach them is Echo, and for a moment Bellamy wonders if maybe he should have talked to her in private first. But she wraps one arm around him and one around Clarke, pulling them into a weird three-way side-hug.

“I’m happy for you,” she mumbles before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You deserve this.” She then turns to Clarke and whispers something to her, before giving her cheek a kiss too and returning to her seat further down the table. Bellamy doesn’t know what she says, but the smile on Clarke’s face has widened even more, so he’s pretty sure it was something good.

When they’re slowly strolling home later, Madi some ways ahead of them, he asks her. She tightens her arm around his waist and leans her head against his shoulder.

“She said she was glad you finally got your head out of your ass long enough to make a move eventually, and that our kid will be the most loved child in history.”

And yeah, he agrees silently. It will be.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from London, guys! I’m here on a business trip, my first one as self-employed – can you tell that I’m excited :) I won’t be home until late on Friday, though, and I didn’t want to leave you guys hanging, so here you are!  
> Some minor smut in this one, nothing too explicit I don’t think, but still worth a bit of a warning. It’s sort of spread out, though, so proceed with caution through the chapter if that’s not your thing ;)  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-23-**

 

It’s funny, but as soon as she _knows_ she’s pregnant, Clarke starts _feeling_ pregnant.

At first, it’s the little things, actually recognizing the symptoms that were already there but that she was either ignoring or attributing to something else – the fatigue, the dizzy spells, the nausea (which fortunately fades completely about a week or so later).

Then, it’s the bigger things.

About two weeks after they find out, she can’t button her pants in the morning. She tries everything, even lying flat on her back on the bed and sucking in her stomach as much as she can, but it still won’t button. Annoyed, she stomps into the main room where Bellamy and Madi are sitting at the table.

“I can’t button my pants,” she complains.

They both look up at her, turn to each other – and burst out laughing. Clarke crosses her arms over her chest and, OK, yeah, she pouts.

“It’s not funny!”

“It’s a little funny,” Madi insists, still giggling.

Clarke turns to Bellamy for support, and while he at least has the presence of mind to cover his mouth with his hand, she can still see the amusement in his eyes. With a huff, she turns on her heel and storms back to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

She knows she’s overreacting, OK?

The door opens a moment later and then she feels Bellamy’s arms wrap around her from behind. She keeps her arms firmly crossed over her chest, but he tugs lightly on her hands until she surrenders and lets him interlace their fingers, both their hands against her stomach.

“Sorry we laughed, OK?” he mumbles into her ear.

Clarke sighs. “I know I’m being ridiculous.”

“No, you’re not. And it was just the look on your face, it reminded me of Octavia when she was three and I told her she had to stop jumping on the bed. She pouted like I had told her the world was ending or something.”

She leans her head back against his shoulder and feels his lips against her temple.

“It’s just a reminder, you know?” she says after a moment, voice small. “I’m going to get fat.”

“No, that’s not… there’s a baby in here,” he says, pressing their hands against her stomach. “And it’s going to develop and grow into an actual person. That kind of requires a bit of room.”

“Still…”

“And you know I wouldn’t care if you did, right? I love you, body and mind and soul, nothing can change that, especially not the way your body looks, OK? You don’t ever have to worry about that.”

She just nods, words stuck in her throat for a moment.

“How do you always know just what to say?” she asks eventually, and Bellamy chuckles.

“Years and years of handling O’s teenage outbursts?” he suggests, and she has to laugh at that.

“Thank you,” she says, turning her head so she can press a kiss to his lips.

“For what, knocking you up? Pretty sure that’s at least partly my fault.”

“That too. But for making me feel better.”

He traces his thumb along her cheek before giving her another kiss. “Always.”

She ends up wearing her comfy sweat pants, and Bellamy asks Octavia to do something to her other pants, giving them more stretch in the waist somehow, so it’s not all bad.

Another week or so later, she suddenly has a noticeable bump.

Bellamy’s the one to point it out one Sunday. Clarke still sleeps a lot, especially when she doesn’t have to get up for work, even if her energy levels during the day have gone up significantly since she started following her mom’s dietary instructions. She still can’t stand the smell of the blue fish, even if it doesn’t make her want to hurl anymore, but she manages to eat it while holding her nose.

This particular morning, she’s woken up by something – or some _one_ – tickling her stomach.

“What’re you doing?” she grumbles sleepily when she opens her eyes to find Bellamy further down on the bed, his chin resting against her hip and his hand running lightly up and down her stomach.

“Morning,” he greets her, a big smile on his face, and the joy that is evident there is almost too much for her to take in so early.

“Morning,” she replies. “Explanation please?”

His eyes fall to her belly again, his hand stilling in its movements and just resting there. “There’s a bump,” he tells her, taking her hand and placing it where his just was. “See?”

She can’t really see, though, but she can feel it – a slight curve that wasn’t there a few days ago.

“It’s just… it makes it feel more real, you know?” Bellamy mumbles, his eyes intent on her hand covering her stomach. “I mean, I know we did the ultrasound and actually _saw_ it in there, but…”

“I know,” she agrees, moving her hand from her stomach so she can squeeze his. “We’ll probably be able to feel it move soon. Mom says it’ll be around twenty weeks or so.”

“Really?” His face lights up even more and he leans down to press a kiss to her stomach, just below her belly button, before crawling up the bed to her. He wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her close, and Clarke hitches her leg around his hip to be able to press herself even closer.

It’s not sexual, not in that moment. It’s just a need to be as close as they can possibly get, sharing this moment of wonder.

It does _get_ sexual eventually, of course, Bellamy’s body pressing her into the bed, his hand covering her mouth as his thrusts and a finger against her clit pushes her over the edge, to keep her high-pitched moan from alerting Madi to their activities.

She hasn’t caught them in the act yet, and Clarke’s determined to keep it that way.

She’s glad Bellamy got over his initial hesitation about sex while she’s pregnant, because she’s seriously horny _all the time_. Except at night, unfortunately, when she falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. Sometimes before.

He’s still working down at the farm, even if it’s definitely winter now – it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get as bad as it was on Earth, the temperature has dropped but remains a bit above freezing and there’s no snow, even if it does rain a lot more than it has so far – which is probably a good thing, or she’d pull him into empty storage buildings every time they crossed paths.

As it is, she’s barely able to keep her hands to herself when they do meet for lunch, and most days they finish their break with a quickie in an empty room somewhere, before they part for the afternoon. Raven almost catches them once, when they carelessly end up in her workshop – Clarke’s still bent over one of the work tables, catching her breath, Bellamy behind her zipping his pants back up when the mechanic opens the door. She takes one look at them and backs out of the room again, closing the door behind her, but when she comes to the med bay later that day to check on a heater that’s acting up she gives Clarke a knowing grin.

“Have a nice lunch?” she asks, seemingly innocent so Abby and Jackson won’t catch on.

Clarke glowers at her, but Raven just laughs.

“Good for you, babe,” she says in a low voice before leaving. “Keep him on his toes.”

One of the most amazing things happen when Clarke is almost at twenty-one weeks. She’s in the med bay, in the middle of giving baby Hope a check-up, when she feels a sort of fluttering deep in her belly, and has to stop to press her hand to her stomach, where there’s definitely a more noticeable bump by now. As Raven put it – _you look like you’re pregnant and not just like you’ve put on a few extra pounds._

“Something wrong?” Diyoza asks.

“I think… I think I felt the baby move,” Clarke replies dazedly. The feeling has stopped now, but she’s almost sure it was there a moment ago.

“Ah.” Diyoza offers her a knowing smile. “It feels strange, doesn’t it? Sort of like… butterflies.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agrees. “Exactly like that.”

She finishes the examination, giving the little girl a clean bill of health, and continues with her day. The feeling returns a few times during the afternoon, but she doesn’t feel anything when she presses her hand to her stomach, which makes her think it’s probably not possible to feel it from the outside yet. No need to pull Bellamy away from his work for something he won’t even be able to experience himself.

It is her greeting when he walks through the door later that afternoon, though.

“Hey, I think I felt the baby move earlier.”

He freezes in his track for a moment, eyes widening slightly, and then a big grin spreads on his face. “Really?”

She feels the smile mirrored on her own face. “Yeah.”

He crosses the room in a couple of big steps and kneels down in front of her, both hands covering her stomach. “Can I feel it?”

Clarke laughs. “I don’t think you can, I couldn’t feel anything from the outside earlier. It’s just a sort of fluttering. It’ll get stronger soon, though, so you should be able to feel it then.”

This doesn’t seem to discourage him, though, and he sticks close to her, hand immediately pressed against her stomach whenever she tells him that she’s feeling the fluttering again.

“What are you doing?”

They both look up to find Madi in the doorway, eyeing them suspiciously as she nudges Lynx back out the door – the cat’s been a little territorial with Clarke lately, since the pregnancy, even going so far as to growl at a couple of people when they get close to her, so they try to keep it outside for now at least.

Clarke evaluates their current position – her standing at the kitchen counter, cutting up some fruit for a snack since dinner is still hours away (her appetite is through the roof lately and she’s constantly hungry), Bellamy with his back leaning against the same counter, book in one hand and the other resting against her stomach. She can understand how this might look weird from the outside.

“Clarke felt the baby move earlier,” Bellamy explains to her, and Madi’s eyes light up.

“Can I feel it too?” she asks, hurrying over and stopping on Clarke’s other side.

“I haven’t felt anything yet,” Bellamy says. “It’s probably too early for anyone to feel it from the outside.”

Which still doesn’t stop the two of them from hovering over Clarke the rest of the afternoon.

“OK!” she finally snaps. “Let’s head out to the mess, I think Raven said something about card games before dinner.”

It’s true, but she really just wants to get out in public where they can’t be _all over_ her all the time.

Which, in retrospect, was a bad, bad idea.

Madi, of course, excitedly tells Raven about the baby moving, which means everyone knows within minutes, and after that it’s like a revolving door of people wanting to see if they can feel something.

Bellamy finally realizes that Clarke is close to snapping when she sends him a pleading look, and steps in.

“OK, that’s it, Clarke’s closing up shop for tonight. No more touching. Everybody back off.”

“That sounded weird,” she tells him when everyone’s returned to their seats, leaning her head against his shoulder. “But thank you.”

“Of course,” he replies, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Sorry I got a little over-excited earlier.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind _you_ doing it,” she assures him. “Within reason. And I promise I will tell you the second there’s any outside evidence.”

Which there is, about a week later. Fortunately, they’re still at home, having just sent Madi off to her classes, when Clarke feels more pronounced movement in her belly. She presses a hand against the spot, just to make certain, and sure enough, there’s a small nudge against her palm.

“Give me your hand,” she says absentmindedly, holding out her hand for Bellamy’s.

“Why?” he asks, focused on his breakfast and the book he’s reading.

Clarke huffs impatiently and grabs his hand, placing it against the spot where she felt movement just a moment ago. For a few seconds, there’s nothing, and then…

“Oh my God!” Bellamy exclaims, pressing his hand harder against her stomach. “It’s moving!”

It gets a little weird a few weeks later when they can actually _see_ the movement, little ripples under Clarke’s skin.

It’s also around this time that her stomach really balloons, and it suddenly looks like she’s swallowed a soccer ball.

Bellamy’s completely fascinated by her new, bigger belly, always keeping a hand lingering there when they’re close together, no matter if it’s in the mess or in bed. To Clarke’s chagrin, he also easily gets distracted during their more intimate moments, stopping his trail of kisses down her body to talk to her belly, which is a bit of a turnoff, no matter Clarke’s still raging sex drive.

“You have to stop that,” she complains the third time it happens in a week.

“What?” he asks from where he’s got his ear pressed against her stomach.

“We were just about to have sex, and you started doing baby talk!”

Bellamy chuckles, pushing himself off her stomach to move up her body again, placing light kisses on her skin.

“Sorry,” he murmurs when he reaches her lips. “Let me get back to that.”

He makes up for his distraction by making her come twice on his fingers before he pushes inside her and makes it a trilogy of orgasm before following her over the edge himself.

He gets a little better at staying focused after that.

Her mom’s keeping a close eye on the pregnancy, giving Clarke monthly examinations to make sure everything’s going according to plan, and they have another ultrasound at around 28 weeks.

“Someone’s wide awake,” Abby notes as she studies the screen, where the baby seems to be doing some sort of gymnastics.

“I’ve noticed,” Clarke sighs. “It’s been full speed ahead in there ever since I got up this morning.”

Abby laughs a little at that. “Well, everything’s looking great. Fifteen inches, which might indicate that you’re a little further along than we initially thought.”

“How much further?” Bellamy asks.

“Just another week, not that much difference,” Abby replies. “Or it could just mean a big baby.”

Clarke shudders a little at that. “Let’s hope it’s the first one,” she says. “I’m already dreading having to push it out as it is…”

“Don’t worry, honey,” Abby assures her, squeezing her hand. “A half of an inch or so won’t make any difference when it comes to the delivery, trust me.”

“That’s really not as comforting as you think, Mom,” Clarke tells her drily.

“You are going to be just fine, I promise.” Abby moves the ultrasound wand around a little. “Now, do you want to know the sex?”

“I…” Clarke starts, looking up at Bellamy. “Do we?”

He shrugs. “I don’t mind waiting to find out the old fashioned way. Up to you.”

Clarke thinks about it for a moment. It’s not like knowing would change anything. They haven’t talked about names yet, so that part would be a little easier, she supposes, but she kind of likes the idea of finding out once the baby gets here.

“I think we want to wait,” she concludes.

“OK.” Abby smiles at them and turns the monitor off.

“You know, though,” Bellamy says.

“I do,” her mom confirms. “But I will not tell anyone, not even Marcus, I promise. And I’ll do my best not to let it slip. If you do change your minds, though, just let me know.”

Winter was short and rainy, and has already given way to spring – the sunlight is starting to brighten again, the days are getting longer and there are small buds on some of the trees down in the valley. They figure they landed at the height of summer, so they should be in mid-spring right now. Clarke remembers the oppressive heat in the weeks after they landed and hopes against hope that the baby will arrive before the really warm months. She’s already starting to feel heavy and slow, even with almost three months left, warm despite her light clothing, and she can’t imagine how much worse it will be once the temperature rises as well.

“I hate this,” she grumbles on one of their days off. She and Bellamy have ventured down to the lake for the first time this spring, bringing a picnic and lounging on a blanket. Now, though, they’re about to head back, and he has to almost lift her up from the ground. “Not… you know what I mean.”

He wraps an arm around her waist, grabbing their basket and blanket with the other hand, and they start off up the hill.

“I know you’re uncomfortable,” he replies. “I’m sorry. Tell me what I can do?”

She squeezes him around the waist. “You’re already doing it.”

He is, she barely has to lift a finger anymore, he tells her to sit down the moment he gets home and takes care of everything – cooking, when they don’t eat in the mess, cleaning, laundry… He rubs her feet and back in the evenings and even helps her tie her shoes since she can barely reach anymore. Really, he’s the ideal partner.

“I’m just not looking forward to when it gets warmer,” she expands when they’ve gotten home. “I’m already wearing as little as I can.”

Bellamy gives her a long once over. “Not really…”

She rolls her eyes. “I doubt the rest of the settlement would appreciate me walking around in my underwear.”

“I don’t see why.”

She huffs and opens her mouth to argue back, but his lips on her neck distract her and she completely loses her train of thought sometime between him moving her panties aside so he can push into her from behind and her first climax, Bellamy’s arms the only thing holding her up as her legs shake from the power of her orgasm.

-100-

Madi comes home before Bellamy one day towards the middle of Clarke’s seventh month of pregnancy, which isn’t very common as she usually hangs out with her friends after classes in the mess ends.

“Hey, kiddo,” Clarke greets her when she opens the door. She’s currently somewhat comfortably stretched out on their new couch, which Bellamy and Miller finished just a couple of weeks ago, so she doesn’t get up. She’s learned to stay put when she finally finds a comfortable position these days. “You’re home early.”

Madi crosses the room and squeezes onto the edge of the couch next to her.

“I wanted to talk to you,” she says, biting her lip, and Clarke immediately wonders what’s wrong.

“Did something happen?” she asks, trying to keep her voice neutral but fighting the emotions warring inside her.

“No, no,” Madi assures her. “I… it’s about the Flame.”

Clarke frowns. They haven’t really talked about the Flame since they got to this planet. She had known that they’d have to use Ma  and the Flame to get everyone from Wonkru to agree to their plans for colonization, and since then, Madi’s technically been the head of the council, even if she doesn’t normally attend the meetings or really do anything. She’s a figurehead, essentially.

“What about it?”

Madi takes a deep breath and meets Clarke’s eyes. “I want to remove it.”

Clarke’s speechless for a moment.

“Are you sure?” she then asks, and Madi nods.

“I know you don’t want to destroy it, and we don’t have to, I’m not going to put it back in. You can even change the passphrase, if you want, so I won’t be able to.”

“OK.” Clarke hesitates for a moment. “What brought this on?”

Madi shrugs. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, actually. I understand that the Commander was needed back on Earth, and even here in the beginning, but I’m not anymore. And that’s OK. I mean, if you think Wonkru might not like it, we don’t have to tell anyone I don’t have it anymore, who’s going to know? And if it becomes a problem for some reason, we can just put it back.”

“Of course, if that’s what you want,” Clarke agrees. “Are you sure there’s nothing else?”

Madi hesitates a little, eyes falling to her hands which are fiddling with her shirt.

“I… I don’t want them in my head anymore,” she finally says quietly. “Some of them are nice, like Lexa, I really like her, but some of the others… one of them keeps wanting me to leave, because I’m the Commander and I’m not supposed to have a family. It makes me weak.”

Clarke’s heart breaks a little. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” she asks gently. “How long have you been dealing with this on your own?”

“It was fine at first, they were just sort of there in the background, but it’s like they’re getting more influence the longer I have the Flame in me. And… I don’t want them here when the baby’s born. I want to be a good big sister.”

_Love is weakness_. Lexa’s words echo in Clarke’s head.

“You are going to be the best big sister,” she tells Madi insistently. “No matter what. But if you want to remove the Flame, we will.”

And they do. They decide to bury the tin box with the chip inside it, finding a spot under a tree overlooking the valley, and Clarke, Madi and Bellamy have a sort of memorial for all the lost Commanders.

It doesn’t change Madi much, at least not on the outside, but as Clarke watches her adopted daughter playing with a couple of her friends and Lynx that evening, laughing as the cat chases them around the open area outside the mess, she thinks that maybe she’s just a little lighter. Like an invisible weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

Another thing that seems to grow at the same pace as Clarke’s belly are her hormones. Her libido takes no notice of her going into the third trimester, and she still jumps Bellamy – not literally, she’s not doing any jumping at the moment – every chance she gets. But it also affects her in other ways.

“What’s wrong?” Madi asks one day when she gets home.

“Nothing, everything’s fine,” Bellamy assures her as he rubs Clarke’s back soothingly.

“Then why is she crying?”

Clarke manages to lift her head from Bellamy’s shoulder so she can look at Madi. “It’s just these stupid hormones,” she sniffles.

Bellamy nods at a tiny onesie lying on the table that Octavia made, with beautiful embroidery on the chest that reads _Auntie’s Favorite_. “O brought that over a little while ago.”

“It’s so sweet,” Clarke hiccups. “I’m just so glad you could work everything out and that our baby will have an aunt that loves them!”

To Madi’s credit, she manages to press her lips together and hold the laugh that’s no doubt bubbling up back, and Clarke loves her for it.

She gets a taste of another type of emotion a couple of days after their last ultrasound, at 34 weeks. According to Abby, everything is still looking good – the baby’s about eighteen inches, which tracks with the timeframe, and has moved a little lower, which Clarke appreciates since it’s made it easier for her to breathe properly.

They’re having dinner in the mess one evening, Madi’s spending the night with a friend and is eating with her, and Bellamy’s just gone to get them food.

“Hey!” Clarke calls. “Get some of those blue berries?”

He nods with a smile and gives her a thumbs up before turning back to the counter with food. Clarke’s about to return her attention to Raven when she sees Leni, a Grounder girl Clarke knows from her apprenticeship in the med bay, say something to Bellamy, getting a nod and a laugh in return. Leni smiles, reaches out to touch him lightly on the arm, and he says something back.

Clarke forces her eyes away, feeling tears welling up in them.

It’s stupid, she knows that. It doesn’t help the feelings fighting for dominance – anger, jealousy, sadness, fear…

“You OK?” Raven asks next to her, too perceptive as usual.

Clarke clears her throat and blinks to try to make the tears go away. “Fine.”

But of course, Raven knows her too well. She looks over where Clarke’s attention was a moment ago and then wraps an arm around her shoulders and squeezes.

“You know that you don’t have anything to worry about there, right?” she asks quietly, so the others at the table won’t hear.

“I know,” Clarke admits, wiping away a few tears surreptitiously. “It’s just hormones.”

“As long as you know that,” Raven says, giving her a stern look.

“I do… but, I mean, it’s not like I’m exactly attractive at the moment, I’m huge… I don’t blame him for looking.”

Raven lets out an exasperated sigh. “He’s not! I bet you anything that they were talking about you.”

Clarke just shrugs, but fortunately, Bellamy returns to the table then and Raven lets the subject go.

Clarke tries to do the same, but she can’t help that it’s niggling in the back of her mind for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure if my interpretation of how the Flame affects Madi is completely in line with the show… but I figure we don’t know that much about it, so hopefully it works!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, first of all, apologies for the Trig in this chapter – there’s a reason I’ve avoided using any up until now, but I felt like this was needed. Another apology right away – I’m going on holiday with my family next week, celebrating my Mom’s 60th birthday, and to avoid caving and working, I’m leaving my computer at home, which means I won’t be updating on Wednesday this coming week. I’m back Sunday evening, so I’ll try to update then, but it might be Monday, so sorry about the delay!  
> The second half of this chapter is mainly smut, really… I mean, there’s some plot in there, but it’s basically just sex. And considering where the story is at, that does mean pregnancy sex. You have been warned ;)  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-24-**

 

“Get some of those blue berries?”

Bellamy gives Clarke a thumbs up to show that he’s heard her, before turning back to the counter where the food is set up.

“She has you wrapped around her little finger, doesn’t she?” an amused voice says to his left, and he turns to find one of Clarke’s medical apprentices, Leni.

He laughs with a nod. “She does, not even going to try to deny that.”

Leni smiles and reaches out to pat him lightly on the arm. “It is nice to see someone who does not try to hide it. Many would, I think. It is apparent how much you love her.”

“Then I guess I’m doing something right.”

She laughs and moves down along the counter, grabbing some fruit for the bowl in her hand.

“It is rare to find that kind of love,” she says after a moment, giving him a sad smile that tells him she knows something about that herself. Maybe she lost someone in Praimfaya, or the last war. “My people, Delfikru, used to call it _won keryon_.”

“One soul,” he translates.

“One soul in two bodies,” Leni says with another smile before turning to leave with her food.

“One soul in two bodies,” Bellamy repeats to himself as he grabs them some food. He likes that idea, it reminds him of the soulmate theory in Greek mythology, how humans were created with four arms and legs, and a head with two faces but split in two when the Gods thought they became too powerful, leaving one soul divided in two beings.

He returns to their table with the food, putting it down in front of Clarke before sitting down next to her. His arm slides around her waist almost of its own accord, his hand settling lightly against the side of her extended belly. The baby’s moving around a lot these days, especially in the evenings, and he likes to feel the ripples against his palm. It’s soothing, in a way, a constant reminder of the little life that will soon be joining them.

He’ll admit that he’s a little distracted, Leni’s words running through his mind for the rest of the evening. Still, he doesn’t think he deserves the smack to the arm that he gets from Raven as they leave the mess, Clarke a few feet ahead of them with Jordan and Octavia.

“Cut it out!” Raven hisses at him when he turns to her with a frown.

“Cut _what_ out?” he asks, rubbing the spot on his arm where she hit him. She packs quite a punch.

“Whatever it is you’ve been doing all night,” she snaps. “Clarke was already getting all emotional and stuff when you were talking to that girl. I tried to talk her down, but your thousand yard stare doesn’t exactly help things.”

Clarke’s upset? How has he not noticed that, she’s been right next to him all evening.

“Wait, why would me talking to Leni make Clarke upset?”

Raven rolls her eyes, as if it should be obvious. “It doesn’t, not really. She’s just hormonal and feeling extra pregnant and undesirable at the moment, I think.”

“But…” he starts, but Raven cuts him off.

“I’m not the one you need to talk to! Madi’s staying with Rhea tonight, right? So go show your girlfriend and the mother of your unborn child that she doesn’t have to worry about random girls making googly eyes at you when she’s weeks from giving birth.”

“She wasn’t…”

“I don’t care. Go!” And with that, Raven gives him a shove towards Clarke, Jordan and Octavia some ways in front of them.

He picks up the pace and reaches them quickly, sliding in between Jordan and Clarke and wrapping his arm around her.

“Hey, Princess.”

She gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. How did he miss this? It’s clear as day now that he knows. “Hey.”

“You about ready to call it a night?” he asks, and she nods.

“We’re out, guys,” she says to the others. “See you tomorrow.”

There’s a round of goodnights and then they’re alone in the semi-dark late spring evening. The walk home is short, as usual, and soon they’re in the main room. Clarke immediately slumps down on the couch, reaching one hand around to rub at her lower back, which has been giving her more trouble as her belly’s grown.

“Let me,” he says, sitting down next to her and pushing her hand out of the way, digging the heel of his own hand into the muscles the way he knows she likes. Clarke lets out a content moan. “Better?”

She nods, head falling to the side and eyes sliding closed. He keeps up the massage and reaches for her hand, intertwining their fingers. She tenses a little, but doesn’t pull away.

“Hey, you know…” he starts, not sure exactly how to broach the topic. He doesn’t want her to feel embarrassed or think that he’s downplaying her feelings. “You know how much I love you, right? You know I would never…”

She sighs, and he lets the sentence trail off. “Damn it, Raven.”

“No, don’t be mad at her,” Bellamy says. “She just pointed out something that I would have picked up on myself if I wasn’t a little distracted tonight.”

Clarke ducks her head, eyes on the floor. “I noticed.”

“Do you want to know why?” he asks. “Do you want to know what Leni and I talked about?”

“Bellamy, please…”

“She said that it was obvious to everyone how much I love you,” he interrupts her, desperate to chase away the sad tint to her voice. “That you have me wrapped around your finger, and it’s true. Everyone knows that. And I love it. And then she told me about something her people used to believe in, _won keryon_.”

“One soul?” Clarke frowns.

“Yeah.” He nods. “The Greeks had a similar theory, it might be easier if I explain that one, since I know it better.”

That gets a small smile from her. “You and your ancient Greeks.”

He ignores the jab and starts telling her about the myth. “So, when the Gods created the human race, every person had four arms, four legs and one head with two faces,” he starts.

“Weird.”

“Yeah. Anyway, Zeus thought that the humans were too powerful, so he split them in two. And that divided the soul in two, as well, so people would spend their entire lives looking for that other half.”

“Like soulmates?” she asks, voice quiet.

“Exactly. _Won keryon_. One soul in two bodies. That’s what you and me are, OK? And I would never, not in a million years, do _anything_ to risk what we have, you have to know that.”

He can hear that his voice has taken on a pleading note, but he doesn’t care – she has to understand.

“I do,” Clarke says, squeezing his hand. “I do, I promise. I just… it’s the hormones, you know that they run away with me. I know you would never cheat on me, I don’t want you to worry that I think that.”

“OK, good.” He nods, abandoning her back to be able to pull her closer, burying his face in her hair. “And you know that I want you, so much?”

She smiles a little. “I know that you love me.”

“No. I mean, yes, of course I do, but that’s not what I meant.”

He wants to be able to look in her eyes, see that she really gets it, so he moves to the floor, nudging her legs apart a little so he can kneel between them. Resting his hands on her hips, he presses a kiss to her belly before looking up at her.

“I. Want. You. Every single day. You are still the sexiest woman I have ever known, OK?”

Clarke looks away from him. “Not like this.”

“ _Especially_ like this.” He cups her cheek in his hand and carefully turns her to face him. “It might be some sort of primal instinct or whatever, I don’t know and I don’t care, but seeing you like this, your belly growing with _my_ baby, that’s… I can’t even explain what that does to me.”

She blushes a little. “Really.”

Bellamy pushes up so he can kiss her, deep and dirty, for a moment.

“Really.”

“I kind of…” she pauses, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Well, his, there’s no way her own clothes fit anymore, so she’s taken to wearing his shirts and sweatpants. Another thing that’s a huge turn-on for him. “I thought maybe you were just humoring me, since I want to have sex all the time.”

“No, no, no, don’t ever think that.” He squeezes her hips before running his hands down her thighs. “I always want you. Always.”

Clarke gives him a long, calculating look. “I’m not sure I believe you… maybe you need to show me.”

He can tell by the slightly teasing note in her voice that she’s just pulling his leg, which means she does believe him, but he’s not going to turn down an invitation like that.

“Oh, yeah?” he asks, hooking his fingers in her pants and tugging them down a little. “Any… particular requests?”

She lifts her hips so he can pull her pants and underwear down. “What you’re doing right now feels like a good start.”

“Mmm,” he agrees, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her thigh as he tosses her pants across the room. He slides a hand under her shirt, up along her side to thumb her nipple through the fabric of her bra. Clarke arches her back against him and lets out a low moan. “This too.” He lifts the shirt as far as he can reach, and she pulls it the rest of the way off, disposing of her bra at the same time.

Bellamy leans up to kiss her, and she sighs into his mouth. He stays there for a while, sliding one hand down to cup her breast and tease her nipple lightly. She spreads her legs a little wider, hooking her heels behind his thighs and urging him forward. Unfortunately, he can’t get that much closer with her stomach between them, but they’re skin on skin, and Clarke hums contently into the kiss.

He keeps things slow, running his hand up and down her side, pausing to let his fingers trace light circles around her nipple when he reaches her breast, and dipping between their bodies to slide them along her slit briefly before venturing back up. She’s already wet, so next time he slides a finger inside her, curling it a little to get the perfect spot.

Clarke breaks the kiss as he does, her head falling back and her mouth opening in a gasp. He takes the opportunity to kiss down her throat, sucking lightly at the skin where he knows she’s extra sensitive before moving on. He continues down her chest, keeping his mouth on the side of her breast as he grazes the nipple with his thumb – she’s already started lactating a little, and while he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, it freaks her out a bit when he gets his mouth on her breasts.

Her hips are bucking slightly against his finger, so Bellamy keeps up the slow pace as he moves to her other breast before pressing soft kisses down her stomach.

When he reaches her hip bone, he settles down on his knees and slides his hand down Clarke’s leg, before lifting it and hooking it over his shoulder. He does the same with her other leg, opening her up for him completely.

She’s watching him through hooded eyes, both hands lightly grasping the blanket on the couch. He knows she usually likes to bury her fingers in his hair when he goes down on her, but she can’t quite reach comfortably right now, with her belly in the way. He reaches up to take one of her hands in his, interlacing their fingers, and she gives his an appreciative squeeze.

Bellamy likes to build anticipation, so he doesn’t dive right in, instead pressing open-mouthed kisses to the insides of Clarke’s thighs, letting his tongue and teeth tease the sensitive skin while he rests his hand against her hip-bone and traces patterns there with his thumb. He rubs his chin lightly against the spot just below where her leg meets her pelvis, knowing she loves the slight rasp of his beard against the tender spot there. Her fingers tighten around his and a low keen escapes her.

He repeats the motion against her other thigh, moving up just slightly and letting his tongue dart out to get a first taste. Clarke tenses, her legs pressing against his back to pull him closer.

“Please…” she moans as he pulls away slightly, drawing the word out.

He’s not trying to torture her, so he moves in closer, sliding his tongue along her slit in one long stroke before drawing circles on her clit with the tip. Her legs are locked in place over his shoulders, he couldn’t get out of her grip if he wanted to – not that he does. When he repeats the motion of his tongue, her hips buck more violently against him, and he places his free hand against the top of her thigh, holding her down against the couch lightly.

“Easy,” he murmurs against her thigh before pushing his tongue deeper inside her, really tasting her. After a while, he slides his hand around from her hip to rub his thumb just lightly over her clit, and Clarke whines loudly.

“Please, Bell, please I’m so close…”

He draws it out a little, just brushing his thumb against her clit in time with his tongue plunging into her a while longer, before switching it up and sliding two fingers inside her, curling them just a little at the same time as he presses his tongue harder against her clit before letting his teeth graze it.

She comes hard, with a broken off cry, her legs shaking against his shoulder, and he keeps his tongue light against her clit as the orgasm washes over her. When she starts coming down, he pulls his fingers out of her, wrapping his hand around his dick through his pants to get a little bit of friction himself.

Bellamy can feel when her climax finally wanes, her legs relaxing over his shoulders and her fingers going limp between his own.

“Wow, that was…”

“Good one?” he asks, looking up at her with a slightly smug expression on his face.

She smiles lazily. “Definitely top five.”

“Not even on the podium?” He raises his eyebrows. “I can do better than that.”

“Feel free.”

He pushes himself up from the floor and holds out a hand to her.

“I’m not sure I can walk, honestly,” Clarke says. “My legs are all jelly.”

“OK then.” He leans down and scoops her into his arms, making her shriek.

“Put me down! You’ll break your back.”

Bellamy huffs. “Please, Princess, give me some credit. You’ve got nothing on the logs we hauled for construction.”

He carries her into their bedroom and puts her down on the floor before leaning in to kiss her.

She pushes up on her toes to deepen the kiss, wrapping one arm around his neck. “One of us is a little overdressed for this,” she murmurs against his lips after a moment, tugging at the collar of his shirt. He pulls away from her briefly to be able to take it off and she runs her hands up his chest. “Much better.”

“I aim to please,” he says before claiming her lips again, running his hands down her sides to settle on her hips, his fingers digging slightly into the flesh of her butt.

She returns the kiss for a moment before breaking it and pressing her lips against his shoulder, one hand sliding down his stomach to the waistband of his pants. “You want me to… return the favor?” she asks, voice husky. “Get you all worked up too.”

He waits as she slips her hand into his pants and boxers and wraps her fingers around him before responding. “Does it feel like I _need_ to get worked up more?”

She tightens her grip on him and tugs once, twice, and Bellamy has to squeeze his eyes shut.

“Definitely not,” she concludes. “Still…”

“Maybe later,” he grinds out, unbuttoning the pants and pushing them down his legs. “Right now, I need to be inside you.”

She kisses him again before crawling onto the bed, getting on her hands and knees in the middle.

They’ve had to be a little creative in this department lately, with Clarke’s belly in the way for some of the more traditional positions and her usually too tired to be on top. It’s not that Bellamy doesn’t enjoy this one, but right now he wants a little more intimacy than it offers.

“Lay down on your side,” he instructs her as he sits down on the edge of the bed, and she does with a frown, facing him. “Other way.”

She rolls over so she’s facing away from him, and he lays down behind her.

“This OK?” he asks, pushing her hair away from the side of her throat and placing a kiss there.

“Yeah,” she replies, reaching back to slide her hand into his hair.

Bellamy runs a hand along her thigh before sliding it around to the juncture between her thighs and slipping a finger inside her. She’s still wet from her orgasm earlier, but he teases her, grinding his hips against her backside in time with the slide of his fingers, and within minutes, they’re both breathing hard.

Clarke arches her back, her butt pushing back against him, and he pulls his finger out of her to position his dick between her cheeks, pushing forward to slide against her wetness. She moans when the tip hits her clit, and he repeats the motion until she’s panting. Reaching between them, he guides himself into her slowly, pausing when he’s as deep as he can get in this position.

“Still good?” he murmurs in her ear as he pulls out a little before pushing back in, this time with a little more force.

“Yes, oh God, right there,” she gasps as he bottoms out, her fingers tightening in his curls almost painfully.

“There?” He thrusts again, realizing he must be hitting her G spot and making a decision that this position is definitely staying in their regular repertoire even after the baby’s born.

It’s not long before she’s clenching around him, and Bellamy’s so worked up, both from earlier and from listening to Clarke’s moans and whimpers that she pulls him along over the edge.

Once he feels her muscles calm down around him, he carefully pulls out of her, moving back a little so she can roll onto her back.

“Well, we’re definitely doing that again,” she notes with a sigh.

He chuckles and leans in for a kiss. “I was thinking the same thing. I think that’s the first time I’ve made you come without any… external stimulation, right?”

“Uh-huh. I honestly didn’t think that was even possible, but God…” She returns the kiss for a moment, nothing too fancy, just a slow slide of lips. “That was amazing.”

“Oh yeah. So… top three?” She lets out a laugh and he relishes in the sound.

“Definitely top three.”

They stay like that for a while, as Clarke’s eyes get heavier and heavier. Eventually, she lets out a deep sigh that Bellamy has learned means she’s just about to fall asleep, so he gets up to retrieve Clarke’s clothes from the main room – Madi might decide to come home early in the morning and while she obviously knows they’re having sex, that’s no reason to be obvious about it – and put out the lanterns in both rooms before getting into bed again and pulling the comforter over both of them. When they’ve settled into their usual sleeping position – the same as earlier, in fact – he slides his hand around to rest on her belly the way he always does these days. The usual evening activity seems to have slowed in there, and he just feels a small nudge against his hand.

“So are we OK?” he asks quietly, burying his face against Clarke’s shoulder.

Her hand comes to rest on top of his. “We’re wonderful.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back, guys! Again, sorry for the longer wait, hopefully this chapter is worth it :)  
> Some smut towards the end, so heads up for that. Pretty explicit, but not very long, so you can just skip ahead a couple of paragraphs if that’s not your thing!  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-25-**

 

It’s interesting, Clarke thinks, how time can vary – sometimes hours rush by in a matter of minutes, sometimes days seem to drag into weeks. The latter is what happens during her final month of pregnancy. Really, it’s the only explanation that she _still_ has three weeks to go when she could have sworn it must have been at least that long since her mom gave her the last check-up at week 36.

“Any day now, baby,” she says, patting her by now frankly huge belly as she enters the med bay.

“Clarke.” Her mom looks up from where she’s giving Dean, one of the younger Eligius, an examination. The treatment of the lung condition seems to have worked, but they’re still keeping a close eye on the ones that were affected. “I thought we agreed that you were going to take it easy these last few weeks? I don’t know about you, but to me that means no work.”

“I’m bored,” Clarke replies, easing down onto a chair by the door. Getting up again will be a problem, but she’ll deal with it when she has to. Jackson should be around somewhere, he can help her. “Madi’s in class and Bellamy’s working, I just needed some company. Don’t mind me.”

Abby gives her a frown, but continues the examination before she sends Dean on his way and crouches down in front of her daughter.

“I know you’re tired of this, but I promise, you’re almost there.”

Clarke huffs. “You said that last week.”

“And I will say it next week too. Dilation and effacement has started, which I know you know means things are moving along the way they should. You’re getting there, I promise.”

Clarke knows this, of course, but it doesn’t really help.

“Sorry I’m bugging you,” she apologizes. “I know you have better things to do.”

Abby makes a show of looking around the empty med bay. “The round of spring colds is over, nobody’s broken a bone in weeks now and I don’t have another check-up until this afternoon. I can make some time for you, honey, don’t worry.”

So they spend the morning going through the baby stuff Clarke has already organized and re-organized three times. Everything’s ready – a beautiful crib that Miller and Jackson surprised them with at the baby-shower Raven insisted on throwing is set up in the bedroom, there’s a mountain of cloth diapers in the washroom, where Bellamy has built a sort of fold down changing table, and tons of clothes, most of them hand me downs from Hope but some new as well, in a chest in the main room, since there’s no space for it in the bedroom. The only thing that’s missing is the actual baby.

“Did you decide on a name yet?” Abby asks as she folds a tiny onesie and puts it away.

“We haven’t actually talked about it at all,” Clarke replies. They just haven’t gotten around to it for some reason.

“You might want to hurry up, then,” her mom says. “I would recommend picking one before they start talking.”

“Funny.”

“You know, it might be easier if you only need to decide on _one_ name…” Abby continues.

She’s been very good at not revealing the gender in the last couple of months, not even slipping up, but every now and then she’ll check in to see if they’ve changed their minds. Clarke hasn’t, and Bellamy hasn’t said anything about it, so she’s assuming he hasn’t either.

“I think we’ll manage,” she says. “Besides, we’ve waited this long, it would feel almost like cheating to find out at this point.”

“OK, whatever you want, honey. But do try to agree on at least a couple of names. You don’t have to pick just one for each, you might end up changing your minds once the baby’s here anyway, but at least narrow it down to a few options.”

“We could always go the gender neutral route,” Clarke notes. “Or just pick a name and say to hell with it, this is the one we want, boy or girl.”

“I’ve told you time and time again – your name is _not_ just a man’s name, my grandmother was named Clarke.”

Clarke gives her an innocent look. “Whatever you say, Mom.”

But they really do need to pick a name, so she brings it up that afternoon before Madi gets home from school.

“So, Mom asked if we had a name picked out earlier,” she says, glancing at Bellamy where he’s reading next to her on the couch. He carefully places his bookmark – a wooden one that Madi carved for him for his birthday – between the pages before putting the book away.

“Right,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “We should probably try to get that out of the way _before_ he or she gets here.”

“That’s what Mom thought.” Clarke puts away her sewing – yes, she’s sewing a blanket out of old clothes, she’s nesting, damn it – and shifts a little so she can look at him more easily. “So… any thoughts?”

He takes her hand in his and absentmindedly plays with her fingers as he thinks. “If it’s a boy, would you want to name him after your dad?” he finally asks, eyes lifting to hers.

Clarke considers that for a moment. “Maybe as a middle name,” she says eventually. “I think I’d like him or her to have their _own_ name, you know? Not one that evokes bad memories like that. I’m not saying no to a family name, but that’s still too raw for me, I think.”

She’s mostly over her dad’s death, even if it will always be a painful memory. But sometimes, it hits her extra hard – like now. The thought that her dad will never get to meet her child, his grandchild, has brought tears to her eyes more than once in the last five months.

She squeezes Bellamy’s hand. “He would have loved you.”

He smiles a little. “You think?”

“I know. You two would have totally hit it off.”

He nods a little at that. “I did meet him once, you know.”

Clarke raises her eyebrows at that. Even though the Ark wasn’t _that_ big, their families didn’t exactly move in the same circles. “I didn’t. When?”

“I guess it must have been… a couple of months before he died?” Bellamy says. “It wasn’t much of a meeting, really, I was stationed as a guard at some fancy dinner party with Jaha, Kane, your parents and some other higher ups. He started talking to me after the dinner, asking about my work and stuff, nothing big.”

Clarke takes that information in for a moment.

“I was supposed to go to that,” she finally says, watching as Bellamy’s mouth falls open.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “What if I hadn’t gotten sick that day, we might have met then.”

Bellamy huffs. “Not like you would have noticed me. A lowly guard and the Ark’s beautiful princess.”

“Maybe not,” she admits, knowing she wasn’t the most perceptive back then, especially not before she found out about the oxygen problem. She had been aware of the whole apparatus that made the Ark run – technicians, janitors, kitchen staff, guards – but she’s ashamed to say that she didn’t pay much attention to them. “Would you have noticed me?”

He gives her a soft smile. “I knew who you were on the Dropship,” he tells her, the smile turning into a smirk. “Why do you think I started calling you Princess to begin with?”

She smacks him on the shoulder for that, and he laughs.

“OK, we’re getting off track,” she says. “So Jacob as a middle name. Don’t you have a bunch of names from history, or Roman and Greek mythology?”

“You mean like Octavia?”

“OK, maybe not _exactly_ like that, but there must have been _some_ normal names.”

He’s silent for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly, and she can tell that he’s running through options.

“Hector,” he finally suggests.

Clarke grimaces a little. “Not sure about that one.”

He thinks for another moment. “Jason?” She just shakes her head. “Damon?”

“Damon.” She tastes the name. “It’s nice. Who was he?”

“He’s part of a story about friendship and loyalty,” Bellamy replies. “His friend, Pythias, was accused of plotting against [Dionysius I of Syracuse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionysius_I_of_Syracuse), who was a tyrant on Sicily. He asked to be allowed to get his affairs in order before he was executed, leaving Damon in his place as a sort of promise, I guess, that he would return, which he eventually did, but Dionysius was so impressed by that, he let both of them go.”

“OK, nice name, good story.”

“So Damon Jacob Griffin?”

Clarke frowns. “You don’t want him to have your last name?”

He shrugs. “I figured Madi’s sort of a Griffin, right? I want her to feel like she’s part of all of this, so… And Blake isn’t much of a name to pass on, to be honest. It was my father’s, I don’t even know what my mom’s maiden name was.”

“Oh…” She hesitates for a moment, not wanting to push but still curious. Bellamy’s never mentioned his father before, and she hasn’t asked, figuring it might be a painful memory for him, since the man must have died when Bellamy was little.

“I don’t have a lot of memories of him,” he continues after a silent moment. “But the ones I do have are of him drunk, yelling at my mom and me… I’m pretty sure he beat her, even if he never touched me, as far as I can remember, and she never said anything about it after he died.”

She reaches for his hand and squeezes it comfortingly. “I’m sorry. What happened to him?”

“He was floated when I was four. Stole a bottle of rubbing alcohol from medical, they found him passed out in a utility closet with the bottle still in his hand.” Bellamy shrugs, but she can see that talking about it is getting to him. “Not much of a loss, really.”

“He was still your dad.”

He shakes his head. “No. He was my _father_ , it takes more than a sperm donation to be a dad.”

The way his voice breaks slightly on the last word makes Clarke’s heart ache.

“Hey,” she says, squeezing his hand and waiting until he looks up at her. “You are not your father, OK? You’re going to be the most amazing father _and_ dad to our kid. There is no doubt in my mind about that.”

He smiles a little at that and squeezes her hand back. “Thanks.”

“OK, Damon Jacob Griffin if it’s a boy. Girl? Would you want to name her after your mom?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “Maybe like you said, as a middle name? I like the idea of a name that’s just _hers_ , you know?”

“Yeah. Any good girl names in your stories?”

He already has a name ready, it turns out. “Iris.”

“I love it. Tell me about her.”

“She was the daughter of Thaumas and Electra in Greek mythology, a water nymph, and the messenger for the Olympian Gods. She was the link between the Gods and the humans, I guess. But she was also one of the Goddesses of the sky.”

Clarke smiles at that. “Skaikru.”

“Exactly.”

“You’ve thought about this one.”

Bellamy shrugs. “A little. I was reading one of the books on Greek mythology a while back and came across her. I liked the name and the story behind it, so I made a mental note to suggest it.”

“Well, I guess it’s good _one_ of us has some forethought,” Clarke says with a sigh. “Though I did warn you that I suck at naming things, cats and kids. So Damon Jacob Griffin or Iris Aurora Griffin. That wasn’t so hard.”

“Well, no,” Bellamy agrees, lips turning up in a smirk. “Since I did all the work.”

Clarke punches him lightly on the shoulder. “I figured you should contribute _something_ ,” she teases him.

This instantly gets him serious. “How are you doing with all of that? It’s getting closer…”

She sighs.

“Well, I really can’t _wait_ to not feel like a beached whale anymore. As for the actual birth… I’m not exactly looking _forward_ to the whole pain part, but… I think I feel more at ease than I did at the beginning, honestly, Mom’s done a good job of going through everything with me so I know more or less what to expect, and helping Diyoza when Hope was born was a good experience too, even if I didn’t really know it at the time, of course.”

Bellamy wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close.

“I know you’re strong, you can totally do this… I’ll probably be the one freaking out, to be honest.”

She can’t help but laugh at that. “Oh, yeah, Mom and I are both prepared for that.”

“Hey!”

-100-

The weeks continue to inch forward oh so slowly. Clarke’s discomfort increases every day, to the point where she can rarely find a position that’s comfortable for more than a few minutes at a time. And as she feared, summer arrives much too soon, with temperatures rising considerably. Luckily, Madi’s happy to spend most of her spare time with Clarke down in the lake. The water’s not quite as warm as it was at the end of the previous summer, but that’s really just a bonus, as it helps cool her down. Plus, floating makes her forget, even if just for a moment, that she’s not as mobile as she’d like to be.

Still, as soon as she gets out of the water, she’s warm and sticky within minutes, and Bellamy being a human furnace doesn’t exactly help. This, in combination with the fact that she just can’t get comfortable at night, of course means she sleeps badly as well – something that is also exacerbated by the fact that someone’s using her bladder as a boxing bag or kicking her in the ribs. This affects her irritability, which is also heightened when she realizes that Bellamy has people keeping an eye on her.

He suggested he stay home too these last couple of weeks, but it didn’t even take a whole day before Clarke begged him to please go back to work because he was driving her crazy. She can take him hovering for a few hours in the morning and evening, but having him constantly one or two steps behind her as she tried not to go crazy with boredom was just too much. Not even sex whenever she wanted made up for it…

So apparently he has outsourced Clarke duty to their friends.

She’s not sure exactly how long it’s been going on – the first person she spots is Murphy, who just explains what he’s doing with a shrug when she asks, but he wasn’t exactly hiding, so she suspects there have been others. Raven, for instance, would never get caught, but looking back, Clarke does think she’s been seeing the mechanic around a lot lately…

She honestly doesn’t have the energy to argue with Bellamy over it, so she just doesn’t bring it up, even if she’s probably a little shorter with him than normal over the next few days, if his small, confused frown is any indication. Also, she knows he just worries about her and the baby, and if this can set his mind a little at ease, she can let him have it, even if she’s not too happy about it.

And she’s actually grateful for it a few days later, when she discovers some blood in her underwear one morning and panics.

She knows, on a logical level, that there are several not-at-all bad reasons for this – she’s around 39 weeks after all, so the most logical one is that this is just an early sign of labor starting soon – but her brain simply cannot process that at the moment. It just literally sees red.

When she leaves the cabin, she finds Echo lounging in one of the rocking chairs Bellamy built for their porch, and stops dead in her tracks.

She and Echo have become friends in the last few months. They will probably never be as close as Clarke is with Raven, or even Emori and Octavia by now, but they hang out together with the rest of their group most of the time and even just the two of them now and then.

Still, for some reason she wasn’t expecting to find the other woman here.

“Is something wrong?” Echo asks, alerted by the look on Clarke’s face, probably.

Clarke takes a deep breath before she speaks. “It’s probably nothing, I’m just overreacting, but I found some spotting so I’m going to have my mom give me a check-up, just in case.”

Echo nods once and stands up, extending her arm so Clarke can loop hers through it for some support. Walking – or waddling, really – is not much fun these days and she tires quickly, so it’s a welcome relief.

“As you say, I am sure it is nothing, but better safe than sorry,” Echo says as they make their way slowly through the settlement. “And if something is wrong, I am sure your mother could deliver the baby now? It must be developed enough to survive?”

Clarke nods, grateful for this reminder. “Yes, that would probably be the worst case scenario right now, and it would be fine. I know that. As I said, overreacting.”

She feels Echo squeeze her arm. “It is only natural. And it has taken you this long, right? Bellamy has been overreacting about many things for months now.”

This statement might have given Clarke a pang of jealousy not too long ago, thinking that Bellamy had been talking to Echo about his worries instead of Clarke herself – especially considering her current state of beached whale. But now she just laughs. She knows where she has Echo, knows that she and Thor are still together and happy, but even if that weren’t the case, she trusts Bellamy implicitly. Yes, she might have moments of insecurity now and then, but they never last long and don’t run deep.

“He has, hasn’t he?” She gestures vaguely at Echo. “Case in point.”

Echo laughs as well. “Yes, I did try to tell him this was not necessary, but he was very adamant. And I thought, if it puts his mind at rest a little…”

“Yeah, that was my thought too.”

They’ve reached the med bay by now and Echo lets go of Clarke’s arm to hold the door open for her.

“Clarke?” Abby looks up as they enter the main room. “Something wrong?”

The walk and conversation with Echo has eased her mind quite a bit, not to mention the incessant kicks she’s gotten to her ribs, but she would still like her mom to confirm that she’s overreacting.

“Just a bit of spotting, I’m sure it’s nothing but better safe than sorry, right?”

Abby nods, but she doesn’t look concerned. “Of course. Come on through.”

Clarke’s not sure if she was expecting Echo to accompany her all the way into the examination room, but she doesn’t complain when the other woman takes a seat on the chair by the head of the examination table. During the last six months, she’s been poked and prodded repeatedly by both her mom and Jackson, so she’s way past being embarrassed at this point.

Abby helps her pull her pants and underwear down and gets started, Clarke trying to stay relaxed.

“OK, everything looks good,” Abby finally says. “It was most likely part of the mucus plug. The baby’s dropped down into your pelvis and you’re about one centimeter dilated, so it’s progress…”

“… but it could still be a while,” Clarke finishes the sentence, and her mom gives her an understanding smile.

“I’d say two to three weeks at most, but yeah, it could still be a while.” She reaches for the pinard horn on the stainless steel counter by the wall and pushes Clarke’s shirt up a little before placing the wide end against her lower belly. “Heartbeat sounds good as well.”

Clarke notices Echo watching Abby curiously.

“Do you want to listen?” she asks before even thinking the question through. But it’s what she would have said if Madi or Bellamy had been with her, or any of their other friends, so why not?

Echo looks surprised by the question, but nods after a moment. “If that is alright with you.”

“Of course.”

Abby moves back a little so Echo can place her ear against the flat end of the horn, and Clarke can tell when she hears the heartbeat, as her eyes widen.

“It is very fast,” she says after a moment, standing up straight again.

“It is,” Abby agrees. “Which it’s supposed to be.”

They wrap up the examination and Clarke and Echo head back the way they came.

“This probably goes without saying, but not a word to Bellamy about this, OK?” Clarke says after a few minutes of silence.

Echo actually laughs. “Oh, no, he is much better off not knowing about this.”

So when Bellamy comes home that afternoon to find Echo in their main room, laughing with Clarke, they just tell him that Clarke caught her hanging out and invited her in.

Clarke goes to bed content that night. She feels like her and Echo’s relationship has taken another step in the right direction, and she feels sure that the baby will be coming any day now.

It doesn’t.

A week and a half later, she’s back in the med bay.

“Just two centimeters, seriously?” she says incredulously when Abby’s examined her.

“I know, honey, these things just take time,” her mom reminds her. “And you have to remember that I have had to estimate everything when it comes to this pregnancy, so the time frame’s always been sketchy.”

“I know.” Clarkes rubs the heels of her hands against her eyes for a moment. “Still, is there anything I can do to move things along?”

Abby sits down in the chair next to the examination table.

“Well, exercise is always good,” she starts. “I realize you’re not up for much, but just walking around might help. And, of course, there’s sex.”

There was a point in her life, not that long ago, really, when Clarke would have been embarrassed discussing this with her mom, but right now she’s too tired and uncomfortable to care.

“We have sex all the time,” she grumbles

Abby’s eyes widen a little at that. “Oh.”

“What?” Clarke frowns. “Is that not normal?”

“Oh, honey.” Her mom reaches out to squeeze her arm. “There is no such thing as normal in this type of situation. The only thing that matters is what you and Bellamy are comfortable with. If you enjoy sex at this stage, that’s great. Some couples have sex less regularly or stop altogether towards the end of a pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal.”

“OK. So, anything else?”

“The thing that sex does is it releases oxytocin, which can also be achieved through stimulation of the nipples.”

Clarke sighs. “Right. I haven’t really been comfortable with that lately, to be honest. It feels a little weird with the whole lactation thing.”

“Of course. Like I said, it’s about what _you’re_ comfortable with. This baby will come sooner rather than later, no matter what you do.”

Still, Clarke raises the issue with Bellamy when they’re in bed later that night.

“So, I asked Mom about ways to get labor going,” she starts.

She can see the flash of terror on Bellamy’s face before he responds. “OK. And…”

“Well, exercise, hence my walk down to the farm earlier. Sex, which we’re already having. She also mentioned nipple stimulation.” Clarke can’t help but wrinkle her nose at the last one, which he of course notices.

“You don’t have to make it sound like torture or something!” he laughs, and she elbows him in the ribs.

“It just freaks me out, OK.”

He quickly stops. “I know. And I’ve told you, we don’t have to do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“That’s what Mom said too. But I’m sick of nothing happening, so have at it.”

Bellamy gives her an unimpressed look. “So tempting.”

But he does lean down to kiss her, and helps her pull her shirt over her head after a moment.

When she first feels his hand cover her breast, she tenses a little.

“Relax,” Bellamy mumbles against her lips before abandoning them to trail kisses down her throat to her chest, where he pulls one nipple into his mouth while twirling the other between his fingers.

And she does manage to relax, the amazing feeling of his tongue and teeth grazing her breast making her arch her back against his touch after only a moment.

Somehow, the rest of their clothes join her shirt on the floor, and within a few moments, Clarke’s coming around his fingers, his mouth still working her breast persistently.

The orgasm overwhelms her, and she just lazily goes along when Bellamy nudges her onto her side. When she feels him entering her from behind a few moments later, she has to bite her lip to keep from crying out. She hasn’t come down completely yet, so it only takes a few thrusts, hitting that amazing spot deep inside her, before her release crests again, or maybe it’s a new one, she honestly can’t tell.

She feels Bellamy’s movements slow while her whole body shakes with the power of her orgasm, and he brings her over the edge one more time before following her himself.

It doesn’t do anything about the baby situation, but still, amazing sex, so she can’t complain.

They keep trying every night, and while Clarke does get over her aversion to Bellamy’s mouth on her breasts, nothing else really changes.

She wakes up early one morning, almost a week later. It’s nothing uncommon – she hasn’t slept through the night in over a month and knows this isn’t going to change anytime in the near future, considering they’ll soon have an infant to keep them up.

She’s not quite sure what woke her, probably a well-aimed kick to a rib or a punch against her bladder. She stays where she is for a while, trying to go back to sleep, but after ten minutes or so, her bladder makes itself known so she maneuvers herself out of bed – without waking Bellamy, which is quite a feat in her current state.

The pale light coming in through the open shutters in the main room tells her it’s probably just before sunrise, which is at around five these days.

She does her business in the bathroom before waddling back through the main room.

Before she reaches the bedroom, though, she realizes what woke her up. She’s been having pre-contractions for a little while now, just a slight pressure or cramping feeling in her lower belly that she’s been able to sleep through during the nights. This, however, feels more like a deep ache in her lower back, radiating through her belly. It’s not exactly painful – or at least not yet – but not particularly comfortable either, and it’s definitely not pre-contractions any more.

She knows this will take time, especially since this might very well have been the first and second contractions, so she goes back to bed. When another contraction starts, she starts counting, and gets to sixteen minutes and twenty three seconds before the next one. Knowing she’s going to need her strength later, she tries to go back to sleep, but gives up after another two contractions and just gets up instead.

At least one of the suns has risen by now, judging by the more yellow light, and she grabs the blanket she’s still working on and tries to get comfortable on the couch, needle freezing every time she breathes through another contraction.

She’s had another three by the time the bedroom door opens and Bellamy appears in the doorway, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

“What are you doing up?” he asks. “It’s early.”

Lately, the baby’s been active a lot during the evenings and nights, but calm in the early hours of the morning, so most days, Clarke’s gotten what little continuous sleep she’s been getting in the mornings, not waking up until well after Bellamy’s left for work and Madi for school. So her being up before both of them is not common.

She puts her sewing away before she answers him. “Well, I’ve been having contractions for about two hours now, and I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I figured I might as well be productive.”

It’s almost comical how he freezes in mid-step, eyes widening and mouth dropping open. He shakes himself out of it pretty quickly, though. “What?”

“It’s baby time.”

“But… what… why didn’t you wake me up right away?”

Clarke shrugs. “Not much for you to do. It’s going to be ages yet, I figured one of us should be well-rested.”

“But… you should have woken me up,” he insists weakly. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, they’re pretty mild so far.”

Bellamy looks around the room, as if searching for something, for a moment. “You haven’t gotten your mom?”

“There’s no point, the contractions are about fifteen minutes apart, it’s going to be hours still, maybe not even until tomorrow or even the day after. You remember what we talked about with Mom, how close together the contractions need to be before anything actually _happens_?”

“Two to three minutes,” he replies, almost automatically, and Clarke knows he’s memorized everything her mom’s told them. “Still… she’ll be up by now, I’ll just go over there real quick before Madi needs to leave and let her know what’s happening.”

Clarke sighs, but doesn’t even try to argue. “Fine.”

He’s out the door in a moment, apparently forgetting that he’s only wearing the sweatpants he sleeps in. Clarke just shakes her head at the door – she supposes she should be glad he’s wearing pants, at least – before leaning her head back against the wall and breathing through another contraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally baby time! What did you think of the names? I wanted to go with something mythology related, and I’m especially happy with Iris, with the whole sky goddess thing. Damon I pretty much found by reading up on the stories about the few men with normal names in Greek mythology… there are not many! As for which name will be used… you’ll find out soon enough ;)  
> I’m not sure how much we know about Bellamy’s dad from the show, I honestly can’t remember him even being mentioned and I’ve read many different versions in other fics, so I went with what worked with my plot.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with childbirth, nothing overly graphic since it’s from Bellamy’s POV but still, be aware of that as you read.  
> As always, I don't own anything relating to The 100

**-26-**

 

Bellamy’s halfway to Abby and Kane’s cabin when he realizes – after a couple of odd looks from the people already up and about – that he’s not wearing a shirt. So sue him for being a little preoccupied.

He probably bangs a little harder on the door than is strictly necessary, especially considering the early hour, but again… preoccupied. Fortunately, it opens almost right away to reveal a still slightly disheveled looking Marcus. At least he’s dressed, so Bellamy’s pretty sure he didn’t wake them up.

“Bellamy?” Kane gives him a wide-eyed, confused look. “It’s still… ah.” He turns to yell over his shoulder. “Abby!”

She appears in the open doorway to one of the bedrooms, pulling her hair into a ponytail. When she spots him, she smiles. “Finally happening, is it?”

Her question means he just has to nod, which is good, since he’s not completely sure he’s able to form complete sentences at the moment.

“How long?” Abby asks, accepting the bag that Kane offers her and that Bellamy knows contains some of her medical equipment and supplies. She likes to keep it at home in case someone gets sick or hurt during the night, so she doesn’t have to stop by the med bay if she’s in a hurry.

“Um, Clarke said about two hours, I think.”

She nods. “And how far apart are the contractions?”

He has to think for a moment. “She said fifteen minutes.”

This brings Abby to a stop, a slight frown on her face. “And she sent you to get me?”

Suddenly, Bellamy feels incredibly sheepish. “Well, no… she said it would be ages before anything happened, I just…”

Understanding spreads on Abby’s face as she nods. “Of course. How about this – we were just getting ready to head out to breakfast. I’ll stop by on the way and give Clarke a check-up, assess the situation, OK?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” She squeezes his arm. “I think sometimes, both me and Clarke have a tendency to forget that not everyone has the same knowledge on these matters that we do. I’m sorry about that. If, at any point, you feel confused or like you don’t know what’s going on, please just let me know. OK?”

He nods appreciatively, because it has felt like that now and then over the last few months, when Clarke and her mom have started discussion pregnancy related questions. He’s been fine to let them hash things out on their own so far, getting an explanation from Clarke later, but at this stage he needs to know what’s happening.

He leaves to let Abby and Kane finish getting ready, finding Clarke and Madi on the couch when he gets back to their cabin.

Clarke looks up and smiles when he closes the door. “What did Mom say?”

“She’ll stop by on her way to breakfast to see how things are going,” he replies before sinking down on the couch next to her.

“I thought you said it would be hours?” Madi asks from Clarke’s other side.

“It will be,” Clarke assures her. “Bellamy’s just…”

“… overreacting,” he finishes the sentence for her.

“No,” she says, looping her arm through his so she can squeeze it. “You just want to be in control of the situation the only way you can, and that’s fine. OK? If I make you feel like it’s not, you have to tell me.”

Bellamy presses a kiss to her temple.

“I will,” he promises. “But you have to promise to tell me what you need from me, OK? I mean, I was there when O was born but I was really just a spectator.”

“I will.” Clarke nods before tilting her head up for a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“And that’s my queue to leave,” Madi announces, grabbing a bag by her feet that Bellamy’s just now noticing.

“You going straight to Raven’s after classes?” he asks. They’ve already agreed that Madi would stay with Raven when the time came.

“Yeah.” She hesitates for a moment. “Can I come by here first, though? Just so I know how things are going? And maybe during lunch too?”

Clarke reaches up to squeeze the girl’s hand. “Of course. Whenever you want.”

Madi leaves with a kiss to Clarke’s cheek and a bye thrown over her shoulder.

When the door closes behind her, Bellamy turns to find Clarke with her eyes closed, breathing deeply through her nose. Her arm’s still loosely looped through his, though, not indicating that she’s in pain in any way.

“Contraction?” he asks.

She remains still, eyes closed, for another few seconds, before meeting his eyes with a smile. “Yup. I told you they weren’t so bad yet.”

Key word being _yet_.

“You know I’d take all of this pain if I could, right?” he says, not for the first time in the last few months. The guilt that gripped him in the early days when he thought about this has eased some, but not disappeared completely, no matter how many times Clarke has assured him that she will be just fine.

“I know,” she assures him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, before there’s a knock on the door and Abby appears in the doorway.

“So, the show’s started at last, huh?” she asks with a smile as she closes the door behind her.

“Finally,” Clarke agrees. “Help me up.”

Bellamy dutifully gets up and pulls her to her feet as Abby crosses the room and enters the bedroom. By the time they get there, she’s stripped the bedding off the bed and spread towels over the mattress instead.

“You know the drill,” she says and gestures at the bed. Clarke strips off her pants and underwear, leaving her in Bellamy’s normally too big and still too long t-shirt, before laying down on the bed.

He takes a seat next to her, halfway up the bed so he can take her hand in his. She gives him a grateful smile and he can feel her grip tightening as Abby conducts her examination.

“Right, you’re definitely in active labor,” she concludes eventually. “Still just three centimeters, which is one more than last time, but another seven to go.”

Clarke sighs. “I know. Contractions are fourteen to fifteen minutes apart, as best as I can tell. What do you think? Tonight if we’re lucky, tomorrow or even the next day if not?”

The idea that Clarke has to bear this for possibly days makes Bellamy’s stomach churn, but he knows he can’t do anything.

“You know I can’t tell you that, honey,” Abby says with an apologetic smile. “Normal dilation is around half a centimeter an hour, but usually just after you get to six or seven, it can be very irregular until then. My best guess – tonight or tomorrow morning, but it can still drag out longer than that. I’ll stop by again after lunch, we’ll have a better reference point by then, seeing how much closer the contractions are and how much you’ve dilated in the next five hours or so. For now – try to get some sleep, if you think you can. It might be a long night. If not, keep moving, it can help speed things along.”

So they do. Bellamy pushes the table and chairs in the main room against one wall, so they have enough space to walk in circles since Clarke doesn’t want to go outside where everyone will ‘gawk at her’. And then they walk and count.

The first couple of hours, she keeps moving during contractions as well, not really giving away that she’s having them except for her deepening breath and closed eyes. As they pass midday, though, she has to stop to breathe through them, her hands grasping his or the table or counter tightly until they let up.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” he mumbles into her hair during one.

“You can…” she doesn’t explain, instead taking his hand and placing it against her lower back. He pushes against the spot, earning a low moan of – he thinks – content.

“Good?”

Clarke nods against his chest.

Abby returns about half an hour later with Madi in tow.

“How’re things going here?” the doctor asks as she enters the room.

Clarke gives her a small smile. “It’s going. Contractions are about eight minutes apart and definitely getting stronger.”

“Are you OK?” Madi asks, voice small, from just inside the door.

“I’m fine,” Clarke assures her. “Come here.”

Madi crosses the room and Bellamy steps back to give them a moment.

“We talked about this, right?” Clarke says quietly, and Madi nods. “This hurts, and it’s going to get worse before it’s over, but it’s nothing I can’t handle, OK? I promise.”

Madi nods. “OK.”

“Why don’t you and Bellamy go and grab some lunch while Mom checks how things are going?” Clarke suggests, giving him a pointed look.

He wants to object, doesn’t want to leave her, but he recognizes that right now, she needs him to make sure that Madi’s OK.

“Yeah, that sounds good, right Madi?”

The girl nods hesitantly, but follows him out of the cabin.

“So… how are you holding up?” he asks as they wander down the paths between cabins.

“I don’t like that she’s in pain,” Madi replies, and Bellamy sighs.

“Trust me, I don’t either. And it’s sort of my fault, too.”

“It kind of is.”

“Thanks, kid, way to make me feel better.” But Madi gives him a real smile, so he thinks he’s doing OK.

They’re jumped basically as soon as they enter the mess hall, their friends asking questions over each other. Bellamy can’t get a word in edgewise until Madi whistles loudly.

“Shut up and let him talk!”

He should probably reprimand her for using ‘shut up’, but he can finally speak, so he lets it slide.

“OK, this is what I know – contractions are eight minutes apart right now, Abby’s giving Clarke a check-up to see how things are going. No, I don’t know how much longer it will be, no, we still don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, and no, we have not picked godparents. That’s it, report over.”

He doesn’t really expect it to work, but to his surprise, everyone but Raven trails off.

“How’s she doing?” the mechanic asks as they make their way to the counter with food.

He shrugs. “OK, I think. The contractions seem to be pretty manageable still, even if even I can see that they’re getting more intense. Which is what’s supposed to happen, I know, but…” He trails off and shrugs.

Raven’s quiet as they grab food and find a table close to the entrance, away from their usual spot.

“Clarke’s strong,” she finally says when they’ve sat down. “That doesn’t mean we don’t still worry about her, but… she’s got this.”

Bellamy wants to tell Raven that yes, he knows this, but it doesn’t help much right now. But Madi’s right there, and he doesn’t want her to worry more than she already does.

“I know,” he just says, but he can tell that Raven gets it when she wraps an arm around his shoulders in a half-hug.

He wolfs down his food quickly, grabbing some fruit for Clarke when Madi suggests it, and then gets up to leave.

“So you’ll go to Raven’s workshop after school,” he reminds Madi before he goes. “And you can stop by at home on the way if you want.”

Madi rolls her eyes. “I know.”

“We’ve got this, Blake,” Raven assures him. “I’ll let Zeke and Jordan handle the boring stuff this afternoon so Madi and I can have some fun with the new walkie-talkies. Tell Clarke we’re thinking about her and let us know as soon as something happens, OK?”

He assures her he will and can finally leave the mess.

Abby’s on the couch when he gets back to the cabin, Clarke nowhere to be found and the door to their bedroom pulled almost completely closed.

“I managed to get her to agree to let me give her some pain medication, so she can sleep for a while,” Abby explains quietly when he sits down next to her. “It’s only a small dose, and it won’t affect the baby in any way, but it should let her rest for a couple of hours.”

“Good.” He nods. “So how’re things looking?”

“Well, she’s dilated five centimeters, so just two in the last six hours or so. Not great, but I’m hoping it’ll pick up soon and that she’ll be at ten by this evening, then we’ll see.”

“What should we be doing?”

“Let her sleep as long as she can.” Abby lets out a long breath. “Lord knows she’ll need whatever strength it’ll give her later. Then just keep going the way you have – try to keep her moving, put pressure on her lower back during contractions, just… be there. You’re already doing everything you can, and I think you know that.”

Bellamy sighs. “I do. I just… I hate this.”

Abby chuckles a little at that. “I know you do. It’s in your nature to try to keep everyone safe from harm, and this is out of your control. But trust me, Clarke will appreciate everything you’re doing once this is over.”

He hopes so, hopes he’s doing _something_ right…

“I remember when Clarke was born,” Abby continues. “She took her time, let me tell you. 39 hours. Poor Jake, I yelled at him so much. I even told him to get out of the delivery room at one point, and then I started crying when he actually left, and yelled at him for leaving me when the nurse brought him back.”

He huffs a laugh at that. “I hope that doesn’t run in the family.”

“We’ll see. Some women go the other way, into themselves, focusing completely on their bodies and the work they need to do. Either way, just… try not to take anything she says or does too personally, OK?”

“I’ll do my best to remember that.” Honestly, he might actually welcome Clarke yelling at him, since he feels guilty for putting her through this. It’s not a rational feeling, but still.

Abby pats him on the back and gets up. “I’m going back to the med bay, I really don’t think anything’s going to happen until maybe late tonight, if we’re lucky, but if the contractions get to three to four minutes apart, come and get me, OK? I’ll come here after I close up for the evening either way.”

“OK. Thanks.”

She smiles at him before leaving, closing the door behind her, and Bellamy gets up and crosses to the bedroom.

Clarke’s curled up – or as curled up as she can get at the moment – on her side. Her breathing is deep and even, so he knows she must be asleep, but she’s not completely relaxed, a furrow between her brows and a hand clutching the edge of one of the towels signs of that.

Maybe he should stay out in the main room, let her sleep in peace, but he just wants to be there, be close to her, so he carefully sits down on the bed, Clarke’s back to him.

As if she feels his presence, she rolls over and nuzzles her cheek against his thigh, one hand stretching out over his legs. He takes it in his, rubbing soothing circles into her palm, and runs his other hand through her hair, detangling some knots and letting his blunt nails scrape against her scalp the way he knows she likes. She lets out a content sigh in her sleep.

Clarke sleeps for three or four hours, as far as Bellamy can tell from the light changing outside the slightly open shutter in the bedroom. His first indication that she’s waking up is her hand tightening around his.

“How are you feeling?” he asks quietly when her eyes open, and she frowns adorably.

“OK. How long was I out?”

“I think it’s around four thirty, maybe five,” he replies, trailing a hand across her shoulders and rubbing her neck. “So maybe four hours?”

“Mmmm.” She buries her face against his leg for a moment, her breath hot against his skin even through the material of his pants.

“Your mom said to try to keep moving once you woke up again,” he says after a moment. “Unless you think you can sleep a little longer?”

“I don’t think so.” The words are muffled, but then she pulls away. “OK, help me get up, I need the bathroom anyway.”

He pulls her up from the bed, steadying her when she stumbles a little. They have to pause halfway through the main room when a contraction starts, and Bellamy silently starts counting when it’s over as he helps Clarke the rest of the way to the bathroom.

“Five minutes and seventeen seconds,” he says when the next one’s over. “Your mom said to get her when they’re three to four minutes apart, so not quite yet.”

Clarke’s hands unclench from around his and she takes a deep breath. “She’ll probably be here before that anyway, I think her last appointment is at six, so odds are she’ll leave Jackson in charge the rest of the evening.”

Madi and Raven stop by a short while later, but don’t stay long as Clarke’s having trouble talking during her contractions, and they can all see that it’s affecting Madi, seeing her in that kind of pain.

“Come on, kiddo, the grown-ups have this,” Raven says after fifteen minutes or so.

“Come here, sweetheart.” Clarke holds out her arms for Madi, who throws herself into her embrace. Bellamy walks Raven to the door in the meantime, giving them some privacy.

“You holding up OK?” the mechanic asks quietly.

“Me? I’m not the one actually _doing_ anything,” he replies, running a hand through his hair.

“No, but I know you, Blake, and this is killing you.”

She’s right, of course, so he just shrugs.

“Hang in there,” she tells him, squeezing his arm. “It’ll be worth it in the end.”

They’re not alone for long before Abby turns up, right in the middle of another contraction that has Clarke leaning against the kitchen table as he rubs circles into her back to try to ease the pain.

“Things are moving along nicely, I see,” she greets them with a smile. “How far apart?”

“Just over five minutes,” Bellamy tells her.

“Getting stronger,” Clarke adds a moment later, before straightening up.

“That’s good, honey, remember that. OK, come on, let’s have a look and see what’s going on.”

Abby seems happy with what she finds.

“OK, so your waters have broken and you’re at just about seven centimeters, meaning you’ll be in transition soon, which is the part I was telling Bellamy about earlier.” She sends him a smile.

“Right, the fun part,” Clarke says with a sigh. “OK, help me get up again.”

He pulls her up from the bed and they continue their circle around the main room, stopping every few minutes so she can hold onto him as she breathes through the contractions.

“Do we really need to keep going like this?” Bellamy asks after maybe an hour, when she’s leaning heavily against him after another one. “She’s obviously exhausted, can’t she lay down?”

He can feel Clarke shaking her head against him. “Should keep walking.”

Abby frowns. “You should really stay upright… hang on.”

She gestures at them to follow her into the bedroom, where she directs Bellamy to move onto the bed so his legs are sticking out over the side. She puts a couple of towels over him and then instructs Clarke to kneel on the bed in front of him, one leg on either side of his.

“This way you’re still using gravity to your advantage but you’re not walking around,” Abby explains once they’re in position. “You can lean on Bellamy for support when you need to, and he can still reach around to rub your back. Comfortable?”

Clarke rolls her eyes and he has to hold back a laugh. “About as comfortable as I’m going to get, I suppose.”

“Good. I’m going to run back to the med bay and give Jackson an update, let him know to come here when he’s seen his last patient. I have a feeling we’ll have a baby before tonight is over…”

“Hear that?” Bellamy says when she’s left, pushing a strand of hair behind Clarke’s ear before letting his hand linger against her cheek. “Tonight.”

She nods before wrapping an arm around his neck and putting her head on his shoulder, her lips just brushing the side of his throat. She buries her other hand in his hair and lets out a long breath.

They stay like that for a while, Bellamy’s not sure exactly how long. The only time reference he has is Clarke’s contractions, which he only notices because her nails dig into his shoulder and her fingers curl tighter into his hair. Every now and then she lets out a low groan during a particularly painful one, but most of the time she’s quiet, her breathing deep and even, if a little labored during a contraction. He does what he can, digging the heel of his hand into her lower back whenever she tenses and whispering encouragements into her ear – _you’re doing so good, Princess, I love you, you’re OK, it’ll be over soon, just breathe_.

He’s not sure she actually takes his words in until she pulls away slightly between two contractions and kisses him lightly.

“I love you, you know that?”

Bellamy chuckles. “Your mom warned me that you’d be yelling at me and kicking me out of the room, I wasn’t prepared for a love confession.”

She laughs a little at that before scrounging her face up against another wave of pain. He presses his forehead against hers, taking deep breaths to get her to do the same, and soon, her features relax again.

Abby comes and goes in the room, and he’s vaguely aware of Jackson’s voice through the open door at one point, but he’s focusing on Clarke, on helping her through this any way he can and counting contractions, the two of them in their own little bubble in a way.

On number forty-two, she buries her face against his shoulder, muffling a low, drawn-out moan, and her back arches with the pain.

“Did that one feel different?”

He hadn’t even heard Abby enter the room, but she’s here now. Clarke lifts her head from his shoulder and nods.

“OK, let me have a look.”

He helps Clarke move onto her back and holds her hand as Abby checks her progress.

“Well, I think it’s time to start pushing,” she says when she straightens up.

“Finally!” Clarke exclaims, and Abby laughs.

“You’re fully dilated and effacement is complete, though the baby’s still high in the birth canal. Do you think you can try pushing in the same position for a while?”

Clarke closes her eyes at the question, but nods, so Abby helps her back up. This time, she braces her hands against Bellamy’s forearms, her fingers digging into his skin slightly. This means he can’t rub her back, but he’s honestly not sure it does much good at this point, so he just rests his hands lightly against the side of her stomach.

Which means he can actually _feel_ the next contraction, Clarke’s stomach tensing against the palms of his hands as her nails dig into his arms.

“That’s good, honey, try to push down into your bottom,” Abby says from somewhere behind Clarke. “Take a breath and go again.”

Bellamy starts counting contractions again – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. After the eight one, Clarke slumps against him, her head falling to his shoulder and her breath ragged. He presses a kiss on the top of her head.

“You’re doing so good, Princess.”

“You really are, Clarke,” Abby agrees. “I think you can move to your back now, if you want.”

At Clarke’s grateful nod, they help her get situated in a semi-seated position against the wall behind the head of the bed, where Abby’s arranged a bunch of pillows. Bellamy stands a little awkwardly next to the bed while her mom helps her pull her shirt over her head – something about skin on skin contact after the baby’s out.

“Where do you want me?”

Clarke reaches a hand out to pull him down on the bed next to her, so they’re face to face. She takes his right arm and bends it over her belly, so she can interlace her fingers with his, and he leans forward so he can wrap his left arm around her shoulders, bringing them almost cheek to cheek. It’s not a particularly comfortable position, but he can handle it if it’s what Clarke needs right now.

“Good?”

She just nods and leans her head against his shoulder.

“I’m going to get some more towels and hot water,” he hears Abby say from the foot of the bed. “Just breathe until I get back, OK, honey? No pushing.”

Abby’s barely left the room when Bellamy feels Clarke’s grip on his fingers tighten, and her right hand finds his leg for something else to hold onto.

“Breathe with me,” he mumbles, bringing his left hand up to brush his thumb against her cheek, pushing away a few sweaty strands of hair that stick to her skin. He tries to demonstrate by breathing deeply, and after a moment, her breaths slow to match his. “Good.”

Abby’s soon back again, settling in at the foot of the bed. “OK, just push when you feel the need to, but listen to me if I tell you to stop or slow down, OK?”

“Uh-huh,” Clarke agrees, muffled against Bellamy’s shoulder. She stays like that as she pushes, ragged breaths hot against his skin, fingers clenched around his and digging into his thigh.

“Good, that’s good,” Abby encourages. “Give me another big push with the next one.”

Another contraction, another push, and then Clarke’s head falls back against the wall as she relaxes.

“OK, now, the head is right there,” Abby says. “So I need you to give me little pushes, four or five with each contraction, like we talked about. Just so we’re slowing things down a little.”

Bellamy’s not sure why exactly they’d want to slow things down – he would definitely prefer getting this over with as soon as possible – but Abby’s the expert and Clarke nods weakly before again burying her face against his shoulder, so he doesn’t question it.

She’s been completely focused and mostly quiet up until now, so it catches him completely by surprise when she suddenly cries out in pain, sound muffled but still clear. He looks to Abby in horror, expecting a similar expression on her face, but she just gives him a tight but reassuring smile.

“I know that hurts, honey, you just need to push through the pain. It’ll be over soon, I promise.”

Clarke’s grip on his hand and thigh doesn’t let up as the contraction wanes, though, and he can feel her breathing in short gasps against his skin, little whimpers escaping her now and again. Then she’s pushing again, burying another pained scream against his shoulder before sucking in a deep breath.

“OK, good, one more like that… and stop, just breathe for a moment, I need to make sure that the cord’s not wrapped around the baby’s neck.”

Clarke’s breaths are still shallow and labored, and her fingers remain clamped around his hand like a vice, but Bellamy takes Abby’s words as a sign that it’s almost done.

“Mom…” Clarke forces out through gritted teeth after a moment, her nails digging into his skin. “Please, I can’t…”

“I know, honey, I’m sorry. OK, give me one last, big push and you’ll be all done.”

He knows the moment it’s over because Clarke’s entire body relaxes, slumping back against the wall, after another long push.

“There he is,” Abby says at the foot of the bed. “Welcome to the world.”

“It’s a boy?”

It takes Clarke’s question before he realizes that Abby did in fact say ‘he’. They have a son.

He leans forward to press a kiss to Clarke’s forehead.

“Why isn’t he crying?”

Bellamy should have realized that it was too quiet, but his brain doesn’t seem to be working on all levels at the moment. He barely has time to start worrying though, before – almost as if he had been waiting for the question – a shrill cry fills the room.

“He was just working up to it,” Abby says, voice thick, leaning forward and placing the baby on Clarke’s chest.

“Hi there,” she mumbles, tracing a finger along his cheek. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

At her voice, the baby quietens, eyes wide and staring up at her.

Bellamy tries to say something, he’s not quite sure what, but he has a lump in his throat that won’t go away no matter how hard he swallows. He feels his cheeks get wet as he shifts on the bed so he’s leaning against the headboard as well, reaching a tentative hand out and carefully placing it on the baby’s back, his hand looking comically large since it covers almost all of it, as his mind works to take in this new little person.

His head is covered in dark hair and his eyes, which are blinking slowly at them, are a deep blue. Bellamy knows it’s way too soon to tell who he’ll eventually take after, but he still thinks he sees some of Clarke in him.

“We did it,” she says quietly, looking up at him with a smile.

“We?” He huffs. “That was all you, Princess, I was just along for the ride.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you… OK, maybe I could have, but I’m really glad I didn’t have to. Come here.”

He willingly leans down to kiss her, just a light slide of lips. “I love you.”

He feels her smiling against his lips. “I love you.”

Apparently, the baby feels neglected, because he starts crying again, so they break apart.

“What’s wrong, huh?” Clarke asks, shifting him a little to let him latch onto her breast, which does the trick. “Hungry, I guess.”

“Who wouldn’t be after that?” Bellamy notes, earning a chuckle from Clarke.

The baby nurses for a moment, but then seems to almost fall asleep, eyelids heavy and mouth slightly open.

“OK, honey, let’s wrap this up so we can all get some sleep,” Abby, who Bellamy has almost forgotten, says.

“Right.”

Abby stands to take the baby from Clarke, wrapping him lightly in a towel.

“Bellamy, why don’t you take him out to Jackson, get him properly cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket. Jackson will know what to do.”

He gets up as well, holding his arms out for his son, and Abby carefully places the baby in them. He adjusts him a little, looking down at the dark blue eyes that have once again opened and are watching him intently, almost like he’s trying to take in this new person as well.

“Hey there,” he mumbles as he leaves the room. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Jackson’s sitting by the fire, a pot hanging over the flames, and looks up when he hears Bellamy enter the room.

“Well, who do we have here?” he asks as he gets up, peaking down at the baby. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks. And I’m not completely sure yet, but it’s a boy,” Bellamy replies. “Abby said to get him cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket.”

Jackson nods. “Of course.”

He takes the pot from the fire and pours some water into a metal bowl on the table, adding to the water already in it, before holding his arms out for the baby. Bellamy’s not particularly keen to give his son up, but he knows Jackson knows what he’s doing, so he does.

Jackson carefully cleans the baby with a washcloth, holding him just above the water, before drying him off with a towel and putting a diaper on him. Finally, he wraps him in a soft looking blanket that Emori gave them, and hands him back to Bellamy.

“There we go, all done. I’ll just get out of your hair.” He hesitates. “I’m sure everyone’s still in the mess, waiting to hear something. What do you want me to tell them?”

Bellamy glances out the windows, where the night is dark, wondering what time it is – he’s completely lost track in the last few hours. Probably close to midnight, if not after, but of course their friends are waiting up for news.

“Just tell them that everything went fine, that it’s a boy and that they can come by in the morning,” he decides. “One at a time.”

Jackson nods. “And Madi?”

“Don’t wake her up if she’s already asleep, but if she’s still awake she can come home if she wants to.”

“I’ll go with you, I can bring Madi back here if she’s still up,” Abby’s voice comes from behind Bellamy, and he turns to find her leaving the bedroom. “I’ll sleep here, in case you need anything during the night. Go on back in there.”

Bellamy nods at her and Jackson and waits until they leave before crossing the room and nudging the bedroom door open.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of smut towards the end of this one, if that’s not your thing, you can just skip to the end ;)  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-27-**

 

Once the afterbirth is delivered, Abby helps Clarke clean up before removing all the towels from the bed and making it with the regular sheets again as Clarke watches from the chair in the corner. Once that’s done, her mom helps her get back into bed, slightly propped up against the wall behind her with the comforter pulled up to her chest.

“I’ll stay here tonight,” Abby says when she straightens up. “Just in case you need anything.”

Clarke’s not sure if she’s talking about her or the baby, but either way, she nods gratefully. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Of course. I’ll go let Bellamy know we’re all done in here.”

With that she leaves the room, and Clarke cuddles further into the bed, her eyes sliding closed of their own accord. It can’t be more than a few minutes before the door opens again, but when it does, she has to fight to open them.

“Hey,” she greets Bellamy as he stands in the doorway, their son wrapped in Emori’s yellow blanket and cradled in his arms. It’s definitely a sight to behold.

“Hey,” he replies, voice hushed, coming into the room and sitting down on the bed next to her. “Jackson is going to fill the pack in, I told him to tell them they can stop by in the morning, one at a time… I guess we’ll see how _that_ goes. And your mom said she’ll check if Madi’s still awake and bring her back here if she is”

She nods. “Good. I tried to reassure her when she and Raven stopped by earlier, but I’m not sure I actually managed to, so it’ll be good for her to see that everything went fine and that we’re all doing OK.”

He gives her a scrutinizing look. “ _Are_ you feeling OK?”

“I won’t be running any marathons anytime soon,” she tries to joke. “But I’m fine, honestly. I’ll be sore for a while, but it’ll pass. And look what we got out of it?”

Bellamy gazes down at the baby in his arms, a small smile on his lips. “That’s true.”

“OK, let’s see if this little guy wants some more food before bed.”

Clarke pushes the comforter down a little and he carefully transfers the baby to her arms. She gets him settled and he latches on, but again only for a few minutes. She knows it might take a while for him to really get the hang of nursing, but still…

“He’ll figure it out,” Bellamy assures her, stretching out next to her on the bed and leaning his head against her shoulder.

“I know.” She rests her head against his, and they just stay there for a while, quietly watching their son.

“He has your eyes,” Bellamy eventually says.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but all newborns have blue eyes for a while,” she replies. “Brown is dominant, so odds are they’ll change eventually. He has your hair though, see? It’s already curling a little.”

He reaches out to brush a gentle finger over the baby’s head. “It’s so soft.”

“Mm-hmm.” Clarke is seriously fighting sleep at this point, but she wants to stay awake until her mom gets back so she knows if Madi will be here tonight or not.

“What do you think about his name?” Bellamy asks. “Do you think he’s a Damon, or do you want to come up with something else?”

She takes a moment to consider it. “I think it fits,” she finally decides. “But maybe give it a few days to sink in before we tell everyone else? Just to make sure.”

He hums affirmatively. “Sounds good.”

The sound of the front door opening and then closing reaches them at that moment, and Clarke shifts the baby slightly so she can pull the comforter up further. She’s pretty sure most of their friends are going to see her breastfeed at some point in the next few months, but still.

The bedroom door opens a crack, and Madi peaks into the room. “Can I come in?” she asks, voice small.

“Of course,” Bellamy tells her, getting up from the bed to offer her his spot.

The girl takes the few steps to the bed and carefully sits down, eyes wide and focused on the baby in Clarke’s arms.

“He’s so tiny.”

Clarke can’t help a chuckle at that. “He didn’t _feel_ tiny coming out, trust me.”

“But you’re OK?” Madi asks quietly.

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just like I said.”

“Good.” Madi’s quiet for a moment. “Can I touch him?”

“Of course. Just carefully.”

She reaches out a tentative hand and places a finger lightly against the baby’s cheek, to which he responds with a gurgle.

“See, he already knows his big sister,” Bellamy says from behind Madi, and the smile on her face practically glows. Clarke meets his eyes over the girl’s head and they exchange a smile.

Bellamy’s been very careful to include Madi in every step of the pregnancy, insistent that she’s part of their family but worried that she’ll feel left out, and while Clarke hadn’t thought that would change once the baby, their own flesh and blood, arrived, it’s good to have that confirmed.

“I think it’s about time we all call it a night,” her mom’s voice comes from the doorway, where she’s leaning against the doorjamb. “I’m pretty sure someone will be ready for another feeding in a couple of hours.”

Madi leans forward, pressing a feather light kiss to the baby’s head, and even Clarke almost misses her whisper. “I love you.”

“Sleep tight, sweetheart,” she tells the girl as she gets up from the bed, squeezing her hand.

“Night, Clarke.” She turns to Bellamy and, to Clarke’s surprise, wraps her arms around his waist. “Night, Bellamy.”

“Night, kiddo,” he replies, hand curving against the back of her head for a moment. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Clarke can feel the tears rise in her eyes at this. She doesn’t know if they’ve exchanged I love yous before, but she hasn’t heard it herself, so it’s a special moment.

Madi leaves the room with a final glance at Clarke and the baby, and Abby says her goodnights as well before closing the door behind them.

“Right, bedtime,” Bellamy announces, leaning down to take the baby from her.

“For a few hours, at least,” she replies, scooting down on the bed so she’s completely horizontal and finally letting her eyes close.

When she hasn’t felt Bellamy getting into bed next to her a few minutes later, she forces them open again to find him standing over the crib, the baby still in his arms and a look of amazement on his face.

“I thought you were going to put him down?”

“I am,” he replies, though he makes no move to do so.

Clarke can’t help the smile on her face. “He’ll still be here in the morning. Or more likely in two or three hours, when he’s hungry again.”

“I know.” He sighs, but does bend down to carefully place the baby in the crib, looking down at him for another long moment before crawling into bed next to her.

They’ve managed to stay close, physically, even during the last few months, but it still hasn’t been the same as before. Now, though her belly still feels pregnant, it’s softer with no baby inside, enough to allow her to snuggle closer to Bellamy instead of him curling around her back.

“Mmmm, I’ve missed this,” she murmurs as she nuzzles her nose into the crook where his shoulder meets his neck. She feels his arm sneak under her to wrap around her back.

“Me too.” His lips press against her hair for a long moment before he continues. “You were amazing today, Princess. I love you so much.”

She hums. “Love you too. Not doing that again any time soon, though.”

His chuckle is low, more of a rumble through his chest than actual sound. “God, no, give my nerves some time to recover.”

“But you were so calm?”

“I was freaking out on the inside, trust me… now sleep.”

She lets out a laugh that’s really more of a whoosh of air, and then she’s being pulled under.

They’re woken by crying three times during the night, Bellamy getting up before Clarke’s even fully awake to bring the baby to the bed so she can feed him without having to move.

The fourth time she wakes up, though, it’s of her own accord and she’s alone in the bedroom, light seeping in through the slightly cracked shutter.

She sits up gingerly, grimacing a little at the twinge the movement causes, and stretches carefully before getting up. Rummaging through their clothes chest, she pulls on a pair of Bellamy’s sweatpants and one of his t-shirts – it’ll still be a while before she fits into her own clothes again.

She pauses in the doorway, taking in the sight before her – Bellamy perched on the couch, baby nestled in one arm, a book in his other hand, reading out loud.

“I guess it’s never too early to start educating him,” she notes after a few minutes.

Bellamy’s head snaps up and he frowns. “What are you doing up? You should be in bed!”

“Sorry?”

“You should be in bed, you had a baby not even twelve hours ago, you should be… recovering or something.”

She can’t help but chuckle at his indignation.

“I’m fine,” she assures him, crossing the room and joining him on the couch, wincing a little as she sits down.

“So that didn’t hurt, just sitting down?”

He’s put the book down, so she takes his hand in hers and squeezes.

“Look, Bell, I am going to be a little sore for a while, OK? But I’m really fine, and I should be up and moving if it feels OK, which it does. I’m sure Mom would say the same.”

The way he grumbles but looks away tells her that he’s probably already asked Abby about it and just didn’t like her response. Clarke scoots closer, leaning her head against his shoulder and offering the baby her pinkie, which he immediately wraps his tiny hand around.

“I know you’re just worried and trying to take care of me,” she continues. "And I love you for it. But please trust me. I promise I’ll let you know if I need your help with anything, OK?”

He sighs. “I do trust you, of course I do. I just… it’s like you said when we were talking about names, I’m not really contributing.”

“That was just a joke! You have to stop thinking like that. OK, I’ve done most of the hard work so far, but you have been amazing support! And now he’s here, so we’re in this together. But, I mean, I’d be happy to give up diaper duty if you really want to feel helpful.”

“Funny.”

“I thought so. Seriously, though, anything baby-related that doesn’t require the presence of my boobs – have at it.”

That gets a laugh out of Bellamy, and she smiles at the sound.

“Did Madi and Mom leave for school and work already?” she asks a moment later, and he nods.

“There’s breakfast on the counter, I figured you’d be hungry so I had your mom grab some food for us before she left.”

The mention of food makes Clarke’s stomach rumble.

“I’m starving,” she notes, carefully pulling her pinkie out of the baby’s grip and going over to the counter to grab the bowl of porridge – still lukewarm – and plate of fruit sitting there. She returns to the couch with her food. “How long have you been up?”

He glances out the window. “An hour, hour and a half, maybe? Your mom said I should let you sleep until this little guy wanted breakfast, so we’ve just been hanging out since she and Madi left a while ago.”

“Thanks for that, I actually feel kind of rested.”

Bellamy huffs. “I wouldn’t get used to it.”

She swallows the porridge she just spooned into her mouth before responding. “No, we’ll be lucky if he keeps sleeping as much as he did last night. We’ll just have to sleep in shifts during the days, at least until you need to go back to work.”

“You know I can stay home with you guys as long as you want me to, right?” he says, squeezing her thigh. “They can get by without me for a while.”

They haven’t exactly decided how long either of them will be away from work. It’s not like there’s any childcare in the settlement yet, they – most likely Clarke, since she has the least physically demanding job – will have to bring the baby with them to work once he’s a little older. Octavia has already helped them make a sort of sling that they can use to carry him in when the time comes.

“I know,” Clarke assures him with a smile. “We’ll play it by ear, OK? I don’t want him in the med bay when he’s too young, but I don’t like feeling like I’m not contributing either… maybe we can switch work duties for a while? Kitchen or helping Raven and the others in the workshop…”

“We’ll take it day by day,” Bellamy agrees. “And nobody’s going to hold it against us if we take a couple of months off, you know that.”

“I know.” She finishes the last of the porridge and takes a bite of the fruit. “You know, we might need to start thinking about some sort of childcare arrangement.”

He huffs. “I think we need more than two kids for that to be efficient use of someone’s time.”

“True… maybe we can talk to Diyoza, make some sort of arrangement where one of us is home with both kids one day while the other two work, and then we switch?” she suggests. “After he’s stopped nursing, of course, but might as well plan ahead.”

“We’ll talk to her.”

The baby has been quiet so far, but now he scrounges his face up before letting out an annoyed wail.

“Right,” Bellamy says. “I think this is one of those times when your boobs _are_ required, since I changed his diaper just before you got up. Switch?”

He holds out his hand for her bowl, and Clarke hands it over and puts the plate of fruit down on the couch next to her before lifting the baby out of his arms. She settles a little better on the couch before pulling her shirt up and getting him situated at her breast.

“I’m going to need something else to wear,” she notes absentmindedly as Bellamy crosses to the kitchen counter. “I can’t keep pulling my shirt up to my neck every time he’s hungry.”

Bellamy’s only response is a low chuckle, but he disappears into the bedroom and emerges a moment later, holding out a button up for her.

“This better?” he asks. “It has buttons, easier access, right?”

“That should work until I can fit into my own clothes again,” she agrees.

He sits down next to her on the couch again, watching them both with a soft smile on his face. “Seems like he’s gotten the hang of it.” The last few words are said through a huge yawn.

“Why don’t you go get some rest?” Clarke suggests. “I’ve got this, and he’ll probably fall asleep once he’s finished eating.”

Bellamy gives her a frown. “You sure?”

“Go,” she insists, nudging his knee with hers. “We have to get used to sleeping when we can, remember?”

“OK. But call me if you need me.” He leans over for a kiss, pressing another to the baby’s head before getting up and heading into the bedroom, pulling the door halfway closed behind him.

Clarke lets out a sigh and leans back on the couch. “We’ve got to make sure Daddy gets enough sleep, OK? I’m going to need your help with that.” The baby doesn’t reply, of course, still focused on his food, but he blinks at her. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

She’s just burped the baby and changed into Bellamy’s shirt with buttons when there’s a quiet knock on the door.

“Right, it seems like the masses are starting to gather,” she mumbles to herself as she moves to open the door, revealing Raven on the other side. “Morning, Raven.”

Raven doesn’t return the greeting – her eyes have widened and a smile is spreading on her face as she peers down at the baby. “Oh my God, he’s adorable! Like a mini-Bellamy.”

Clarke glances down at her son, who’s fallen asleep in her arms, dark eyelashes shading his chubby cheeks and mouth pouting slightly. It’s not like Raven’s wrong, even if the only distinguishing characteristics right now are his dark hair that curls a little at the ends and a faint dusting of freckles over his nose and cheeks.

“Yeah, I think we already know who he’s going to take after,” she agrees. “Come on in.”

She steps aside to let Raven into the cabin, closing the door behind her.

“Where’s your other half?” the mechanic asks as she turns around. “I didn’t think he’d leave your side for weeks after this, poor guy was a real wreck yesterday.”

Clarke sits down on the couch again before answering. “He’s asleep, so keep your voice down a little.”

“Ah.” Raven joins her on the couch. “Can I…?” She nods at the baby, and Clarke carefully transfers him to Raven’s arms without waking him up. “Hi there, little man. Did you know that you’re the luckiest kid in the whole world, huh? Cause you have the best parents ever. Yes, you do.  _And_ the coolest aunt, never forget that.”

Clarke watches amusedly as Raven continues cooing at the baby. If she hadn’t already seen the mechanic with Hope she would have been shocked.

“That’s a good look on you,” she notes after a while, giving her friend a crooked grin.

Raven immediately shakes her head. “Oh, no. Not for _at least_ a couple of years.”

“You’re not ruling it out, though.”

“Well, no.” The mechanic shrugs. “I mean, we’re supposed to be ensuring mankind’s survival, populating this damn planet, can’t really do that without kids.”

“But do you want them?” Clarke pushes a little.

“I… I think so. I mean, I always assumed I’d have one, you know, but I haven’t thought about it in so long… honestly, it’s hard to imagine.”

“I know what you mean…”

They’re quiet for a moment, Raven’s eyes intent on the sleeping baby, stroking his cheek with her index finger.

“So…” she eventually says. “How’re you feeling today?”

“I’m fine,” Clarke replies with a sigh. “And I already have Bellamy mothering me, I don’t need you too.”

Raven chuckles at that. “He just… he’s not good at seeing the people he loves in pain, you know that. Give him a few days and I’m sure he’ll be back to normal.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I can’t believe you guys have a _kid_. It’s, like, so surreal.”

“Tell me about it,” Clarke replies. “I mean, you’d think the whole being pregnant for months and then pushing him out of me would make it real, but I still have a hard time believing it.”

Raven winces. “Oh, yeah… how was that?”

Clarke thinks for a moment. “Intense. Painful, especially at the end, but it’s hard to explain… you’re so focused on what you need to do that the pain is sort of background noise… I can’t even describe it.”

“You’d consider doing it again?”

“Yeah.” She doesn’t even have to think about it. “I mean, not anytime soon, but, like you said…”

“In a couple of years,” Raven says, nodding.

“Yeah. In a couple of years.”

Bellamy wakes up just before Raven leaves, and after her, there’s a steady stream of curious visitors the rest of the day.

-100-

They settle into a routine fairly quickly – Damon (they decide on their initial name suggestion after a couple of days) is a very happy baby, sleeping well and not fussing unless he’s hungry or has a dirty diaper, which makes life easier.

Clarke’s pretty sure that Bellamy realized she was joking about the diaper thing, but he still changes most of the diapers. During the night, she barely has time to wake up and realize that the baby’s crying before he’s out of bed and picking him up from the crib, and letting her sleep in the morning when he and Damon get up turns into something of a habit.

Damon’s three weeks old the first time she wakes up to pale morning light and Bellamy still in bed with her, no sound but their breathing and the baby’s quiet snuffling in the room. She lets out a content sigh and snuggles closer, burying her nose against Bellamy’s neck.

“Morning, Princess,” he mumbles, voice rough with sleep.

“Morning,” she replies, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

Needless to say, they haven’t had much alone time since Damon’s birth, both of them constantly tired and often sleeping one at a time on and off during the day, collapsing into bed at night and falling asleep instantly. She knows they can’t have sex for another three weeks at least, and she’s honestly not sure she’ll be ready for it then either, but there are other things they can do…

She places another kiss in the spot just under Bellamy’s jaw that she knows he loves as she trails her hand across his stomach, feeling the muscles flexing under her hand, but to her surprise and confusion, he tenses.

“I should get the baby,” he says before pulling away from her and getting up, his back to her.

“He’s still asleep,” Clarke says, frowning. Bellamy doesn’t respond, just crosses to the crib and bends down. She gets up too, stopping behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he insists, turning in her embrace and giving her a soft kiss.

She stands on her tip toes, pressing closer, feeling him hard against her stomach. Again, he freezes, trying to pull away.

“Hey, what is it?”

“You shouldn’t have to worry about that stuff right now,” he says, averting his eyes. “It’s just… a natural reaction or whatever.”

She finally understands what he means. “I’d kind of like to think that it’s a _me_ reaction,” she replies, sliding a hand between them to rub him through his sweatpants.

Bellamy groans, eyes slipping closed. “Still, you don’t have to worry about it. You just had a baby.”

“I think three weeks is pushing the concept of _just_ a tiny bit,” she argues, pressing a kiss to his bare chest, letting her tongue dart out to taste him. “And what if I want to… worry about it?”

“Clarke…” he drags her name out but doesn’t pull away again as she slips her hand into his pants, wrapping around him.

“Come on, the baby’s asleep, this is the first time we’ve had to ourselves in weeks…”

“I thought your mom said at least six weeks because of the risk of infection,” he reminds her, voice hitching slightly.

“Well, yeah,” she agrees, running her thumb over the head of his dick. “For actual intercourse, but there are… other things we can do in the meantime.”

He still looks slightly hesitant, but she gets him back in bed, and once she pulls him into her mouth, there are no more complaints.

After she gets him off, he pulls her shirt over her head, getting his mouth on her breasts and rubbing gentle circles against her clit through her panties until she’s panting and has to bury her face in the pillow as she climaxes, to avoid crying out and waking the baby.

They do find more time for each other after that, usually in the evening after Madi’s gone to bed and Damon’s fallen asleep in his crib. There’s a lot of play with hands and mouths, but as the weeks pass, Clarke starts to think she might be ready to get back in the saddle in a more definitive way.

Her mom inserted a new contraceptive implant a few days after the birth, so there’s nothing to worry about on that end, but Clarke kind of wants the kids out of the house so they can really enjoy themselves. And sleep for more than a few hours at a time. But mostly have sex.

“Hey, Mom, you think you and Marcus would like taking Damon overnight sometime?” she asks one day when the baby is around three months old.

Abby glances at her over the kitchen table where she’s giving Damon a check-up. “Of course, honey, we’d love that. Any day in particular you were thinking about?”

“Maybe Saturday? Madi asked if she could stay with Eila…”

“Ah.” Abby wraps the examination up, getting Damon dressed again and placing him on a blanket on the floor. “You two need some alone time?”

Clarke refuses to blush – her mom delivered their son, she knows they have sex. “Yeah. We’ve been… getting back into the swing of things over the last few weeks, but there’s still that final hurdle left. I think it’ll take some pressure off if the kids are out of the house and we don’t have to worry about being interrupted.”

“Of course. And are you feeling OK with that? Because you should take your time, don’t let Bellamy push you into something you’re not ready for yet.”

“No, Mom.” Clarke shakes her head. “If anything, _I’m_ the one doing the pushing. He doesn’t even know I’m talking to you.”

Abby gives her a scrutinizing look for a moment. “Well, if you’re sure, of course we’ll take the baby.”

Since Clarke’s not entirely sure how Bellamy will react to Damon spending the night at his grandparents’ – they’ve had him for a few hours at a time so far, but this is still a big step – she doesn’t actually tell him until they’re leaving the mess on Saturday night and she turns left, towards her mom’s and Marcus’ cabin, instead of right, towards home.

“Where are we going?” Bellamy asks as he follows her.

“Well, since Madi’s staying with Eila tonight, I asked Mom if she and Marcus would take Damon for the night.”

He’s quiet for a moment, so long that she starts worrying that he’s mad she didn’t bring it up with him before.

“So we’ll have the house to ourselves all night?” he finally says.

“Yup.”

He slides a hand around her waist, pulling her closer. “Good thinking.”

They drop off the baby and all the stuff that goes with him without incident – he loves his Grandma and Grandpa Marcus – and Abby promises to let them know if anything happens, which she assures them it won’t. Raven used bits and bobs from the ship to fashion a scary looking contraption that works pretty well as a breast pump, and while Clarke doesn’t exactly enjoy using it, she will if she has to, so they won’t have to worry about getting woken up for feedings either.

As soon as the door closes behind Abby and the baby, Bellamy’s pulling Clarke along towards their cabin, making her laugh.

“Slow down,” she tells him. “Don’t want to trip over something and break a leg on the way, I’ve got big plans for tonight.”

She’s pushed up against the wall before the door fully closes behind them, Bellamy’s lips covering hers in a demanding kiss, his hands trailing under her shirt, pulling it up as he goes.

“Eager, are we?” Clarke chuckles as he trails kisses down her throat before pulling her shirt over her head.

“You’re not?” he retorts, getting rid of his own shirt as well. “We have the whole house to ourselves…”

She doesn’t have a chance to respond before he pulls a nipple into his mouth, slipping a hand into her pants and finding her clit. She’s falling apart within minutes.

“Bed,” she pants as she comes back down, pushing against Bellamy’s chest to get him to move.

She works on her own pants as they cross to the bedroom, dropping them to the floor just inside the door and pulling him closer by the waistband of his pants, working the button with one hand while wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him down for a kiss.

Once his pants have joined hers on the floor, they tumble into bed, Clarke ending up on her back with him hovering over her.

He’s gone down on her a few times in the last couple of weeks, his tongue just tracing her folds, but that’s as far as they’ve gone since Damon’s birth. Bellamy seems to have the same idea now, placing open-mouthed kisses against her chest before trailing lower, but Clarke pulls him back up.

“What’s wrong?” he asks breathlessly, holding himself up on one elbow.

She doesn’t answer, instead grabbing his hand and placing it between her legs, his index finger just nudging her entrance. Bellamy’s eyes widen.

“You sure?”

When she nods, he slowly slides his finger into her, and Clarke arches her back at the feeling of having a part of him inside her again – _finally_.

“OK?” he mumbles against her throat.

“Mmmm, good,” she replies, meeting the slide of his finger with a lift of her hips. “More.”

Bellamy chuckles. “Let’s take things slow, yeah?”

She knows he’s right, but damn it, she wants him inside her _now_.

He works her up slowly, adding another finger after a while, and she can’t hold back her moan at the feeling. She reaches out to wrap her hand around him, starting a slow pace that matches the movement of his fingers, and he groans into her neck.

“Your mom got you another implant, right?” he gets out through gritted teeth as she lets her thumb circle the head of his dick.

“Uh-huh, we’re all good.”

“Thank God.”

He pulls his fingers out of her before moving so he’s kneeling between her legs, positioning himself at her entrance and slowly pushing inside. Their eyes remain locked the entire time, him probably wanting to make sure he’s not hurting her in any way and Clarke searching for any hints that it doesn’t feel the same as before she had the baby. She’s been doing the exercises her mom recommended, and Abby assured her that things were back to normal down there during her last check-up, but that’s one thing – feeling is another.

Once Bellamy’s fully buried inside her, he lets out a ragged breath and his eyes slide close. “God, you feel so good.”

She lets out a relieved sigh, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him down so she can kiss him.

He happily obliges, resting his weight on his elbows and kissing her deeply before pulling out and pushing back in.

“I’ve missed this,” he whispers against her lips. “I love watching your face when I fuck you, seeing exactly what I do to you.”

He punctuates his sentence with a stronger thrust, changing the angle slightly.

“Oh, fuck,” she pants as it sends shivers through her. “Keep doing that.”

It’s not long before they’re tumbling over the edge together, Bellamy rolling them so he’s on his back with her on his chest as they come back down.

“We’re not done yet,” Clarke tells him as her heartbeat slowly returns to normal.

“Definitely not,” he agrees. “Give me thirty minutes.”

They’re asleep within ten.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, picking up where we left off, so a bit of smut at the beginning. If that’s not your thing, you can skip ahead to the first break!  
> As always, I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-28-**

 

Bellamy wakes up with hair in his mouth and morning light streaming in through the still open bedroom door. For a moment, he panics, wondering why the baby hasn’t woken them up during the night, but then his brain catches up and he remembers – Damon’s with Abby and Kane.

He pushes Clarke’s hair out of his face, exposing her neck, and presses a kiss to her spine.

“Mmmm,” she murmurs, still half-asleep, pushing her back against him. He feels his already half-hard dick twitch in response, and slips a hand around to palm her breast.

“Good morning,” he whispers in her ear before placing another kiss on her throat, her shoulder, her back.

“It certainly is,” she replies with a throaty chuckle, and he jerks his hips against her. “I can’t believe we fell asleep… oh, wait, yes I can.”

“Yeah, not that surprising… but I seem to remember morning sex being one of our favorites,” he notes, sliding his hand lower to find her already wet. He slips one finger inside her, earning a low moan as her hips buck against his hand.

“I might need… some reminding,” she says, voice slightly breathless which counters some of the teasing tone.

“Oh really?”

If that’s not a challenge, he doesn’t know what is. And Bellamy Blake does not back down from a challenge.

He returns his attention to her throat and neck, sucking a bruise into her shoulder before letting his teeth graze the tendon in the side of her throat. Clarke’s hand slides into his hair, tightening around his curls, and he slips another finger inside her, running his thumb over her clit briefly. Her hips snap forward for more friction, but he moves his thumb away.

“Tease,” she grinds out, her fingers tugging almost painfully on his curls, and he chuckles.

“Just trying to… draw things out,” he tells her, pulling her earlobe into his mouth, thumb grazing her clit again, earning a low whimper.

He ignores her impatient tugs on his hair and the bucking of her hips, focusing on getting his mouth and tongue and teeth everywhere he can reach while keeping up a slow pace with his fingers. He’s almost painfully hard by now and shifts as close as he can behind her, moving his hips in time with his finger so his dick slides between their bodies, slick with sweat, giving him some friction. Clarke’s hand abandons his hair to move down and try to get between them and wrap around him, probably to get him to cave, but they’re skin on skin and her fingers end up clutching at his hip instead.

Finally, when she’s panting and her nails are digging into his skin, he adds a bit more pressure on her clit and curls his fingers just a little, hitting the sweet spot deep inside her. He feels the first tell-tale signs of her orgasm around his fingers, but slips them out of her before she topples over the edge.

“Bellamy…” Clarke whines.

He moves back a little so he can reach between them to position his dick at her entrance and then pushes into her slowly, his mouth right next to her ear. “I want to feel you coming around me.”

She shivers at his words and then stops breathing for a moment, as he sinks deeper, not sucking in a ragged breath until he’s completely buried inside her.

It only takes two thrusts and Bellamy’s index finger back on her clit before she’s clenching uncontrollably around him, lips pressed tightly together but still letting out little whimpers as the swells wash over her. He feels his own climax closing in as well and pulls out of her almost completely as she comes back down, to last a little longer.

“Oh God,” Clarke murmurs after a moment, her hand closing around his wrist and pulling his finger away from her clit. “Too much.”

He chuckles against her shoulder but obediently slides his hand up her stomach until he reaches her breast, which he squeezes once before flicking a finger over her nipple.

“And here I was hoping to beat our record,” he says in her ear, thrusting forward to sink deep inside her again. He’s made her come three times in this position before following her into oblivion on one previous occasion, and he’s feeling good about topping that today.

“Fuck,” she hisses, but her hips buck back against him, her fingers sliding into his hair again, pulling his mouth to her throat. “Feel free to try, _please_ …”

Knowing he won’t last much longer himself, Bellamy picks up the pace a little, sucking a bruise into the skin just behind her ear as he twirls her nipple between his fingers. When her fingers curl harder into his hair and her walls begin fluttering around him again, he abandons the hardened bud to press a finger hard against her clit, and she comes with a cry she’s unable to hold back.

He has every intention of riding out her orgasm again, but before he can even pull out all the way, the clenching of her muscles pull him along over the edge and he buries a groan against her throat as he spills deep inside her.

They lay completely still for a long moment, the only thing moving their chests as their breathing and heartbeats slowly return to normal.

“Damn, I was really hoping to crush that record,” he says when he’s finally breathing somewhat normally again, and Clarke chuckles.

“It’s still two to one, so I’m coming out on top either way,” she notes, shifting forward slightly so he slips out of her before rolling around so she’s facing him.

“Hi there,” he mumbles as she moves closer, hitching a leg around his hips so they’re skin on skin.

“Hi.” She leans forward, pressing her lips to his and he buries a hand in her hair.

They kiss lazily for a long moment, just lips sliding together at first. Then Clarke trails her hand down his back, dragging it back up and letting her nails scrape along his spine, making him shiver and press closer, his dick twitching a little again.

“Mmmm,” she murmurs against his lips as she feels it, shifting her hips a little to drag her folds against his slowly hardening length.

Bellamy tugs lightly on her hair, pulling her lips from his and tilting her head back so he can kiss her throat. “Really making use of our time alone, huh?”

“You better believe it…” She gasps as he nips a little at the sensitive skin just below her chin. “Oh, God…”

She slips a hand between them, wrapping her fingers around his growing erection, working him slowly until he’s fully hard again before angling her hips and guiding him back inside her.

“Fuck,” he murmurs against her throat as he bottoms out, her muscles tensing around him for a moment. “Feels fucking amazing.”

“Uh-huh,” she agrees, only half-coherently, pulling him up so she can kiss him.

Their tongues battle for dominance as the kiss turns dirtier and they rock together slowly, not yet chasing release, simply enjoying being together. Clarke slides her hand around his waist and up his back, digging her nails into his shoulder, and he hisses into her mouth before pinching her nipple lightly, getting a moan in return.

He remembers their very first night together, their lazy lovemaking just like this in the morning, and he wants to draw it out, he really does. But then she shifts a little, pulling him even deeper, and arches her back so he just has to move a few inches to be able to suck her nipple into his mouth, and soon their movements turn hurried and sloppy. Bellamy can tell he won’t last much longer this time around, not so soon after his previous climax, but he does manage to bring her over the edge, finger tracing tight circles against her clit.

“God, I love watching you come,” he murmurs against her lips moments before he falls over himself.

He wants nothing more – and he’s pretty sure Clarke’s of the same opinion – than to spend the rest of the day in bed, but at the same time, this is the longest they’ve been away from the baby since he was born.

Clarke’s the one to cave first, which actually surprises him.

“Want to grab some breakfast and go pick Damon up from Mom and Marcus?” she suggests when they’re catching their breaths for the third time an hour or so later.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

-100-

They say that it takes a village to raise a child, and while Bellamy’s not sure that’s accurate, they definitely _have_ a village to help with Damon. Everyone, it seems, wants to babysit, loves bringing little presents for him or just hold him for a few minutes in the mess hall during breakfast or dinner.

It certainly makes things easier for him and Clarke, being able to get a babysitter at a moment’s notice, and they actually manage to get some alone-time a couple of times a month.

Life slowly returns to normal. Or as close to normal as it can be with a baby in the house, anyway. When Damon is five months old, Bellamy goes back to working down at the farm, preparing for winter and next spring, and Clarke to the med bay. They alternate days so one of them is always with the baby, leaving him with Abby or Raven or Octavia usually one day a week. Bellamy has loved the last few months, the three of them home together all day, in their own little bubble, but he realizes that he and Clarke might need at least a little time apart to avoid driving each other crazy in the long run.

He’s the one home one day when Madi gets back from her classes, silently sitting down at the table with him where he’s reading while Damon naps in his crib. She doesn’t say anything, so after a moment, he puts the book away and looks up at her.

She’s biting her lip, eyes on the table between them, and Bellamy frowns.

“You OK, kiddo? Did something happen?” he asks, and Madi raises her eyes to his.

“No, everything’s fine,” she replies, though she’s still worrying her lip between her teeth. “I’ve just been thinking…”

“Oh yeah?”

She seems a little hesitant, and he doesn’t want to push, so he just waits her out.

“I was thinking…” she starts again after a moment. “It’s going to be kind of confusing for Damon if I call you and Clarke by your names, right?”

Bellamy feels his heartrate pick up a little at her question, thinking, or maybe hoping, that he knows where this is going.

“It might be,” he admits, keeping his voice carefully neutral to not give away his own feelings on the matter. “But we can explain everything to him when he’s older, it’s not something you need to worry about.”

She nods. “I know, but… would it maybe be OK if I… if I called you guys Mom and Dad? I know you’re not really, I still remember my parents, but… you’re kind of my adopted parents, right?”

He reaches over the table to squeeze her hand, trying not to show how much her question gets to him. He was expecting her to maybe suggest she call Clarke Mom, but he was unprepared for being wrapped up in the parental duo. “Of course we are. And if you want to do that, it’s completely up to you, OK?”

“Do you think Clarke would be OK with it?”

The fact that she even thinks she has to ask is, quite frankly, ridiculous. If he’s happy about this, Clarke will be completely ecstatic.

“I think Clarke is going to be over the moon,” he replies honestly. “I know she sometimes worries that she hasn’t been the best parental figure to you, so she’ll be thrilled.”

Madi frowns. “She does? But she’s the best mom ever.”

“See, you know that and I know that, heck…” he’s making a real effort to keep his swearing to a minimum, “… even Damon knows that, but Clarke… she can have some issues with how she sees herself sometimes.”

They all do, occasionally, but Clarke’s a master at selling herself short and downplaying everything she’s done to get them all where they are today. Especially when it comes to Madi.

“So I should ask her?”

“Definitely.”

Clarke gets home a little later, giving Madi a bone crushing hug before scooping Damon out of Bellamy’s arms and covering his face in kisses, making him laugh out loud – a sound he’s been making more and more lately and that Bellamy never tires of hearing.

“How was everyone’s day?” she asks once she’s sat down at the table with the baby in her lap.

“Mine was great, we were hanging out with Raven all afternoon,” he says. “Madi?”

“It was good,” the girl says. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Clarke immediately frowns, assuming it’s something bad just like he had. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Madi quickly assures her. “I was just thinking, and then Bellamy and I were talking… do you think it would be OK if I called you guys Mom and Dad? I figured it might help Damon figure out that’s what you are.”

For a moment, Clarke’s frozen. Then her eyes begin to tear up.

“Really?” she asks, voice thick.

“Yeah.” Madi nods. “And you guys are sort of my parents anyway, I… I want to. If it’s OK with you.”

“Of course it is,” Clarke says, wiping at her eyes.

“Don’t cry!” Madi exclaims, looking alarmed.

“They’re happy tears,” Clarke replies. “I’m still hormonal, dam… darn it!”

-100-

And life goes on. Soon, they’re well into their second winter, even milder and rainier than the first, on this new planet, which has finally gotten a name – Gemini, after the Zodiac sign, a reference to the twin suns the planet circles. Everyone who wanted to was asked to suggest a name, and then they held a vote. Same with their settlement, which has definitely developed into a village by now and been named in honor of the people who got them here – Green Hill. The suggestion had, somewhat surprisingly, come from Diyoza, and Bellamy can admit that he shed a few tears when the wooden sign with the name was unveiled halfway up the hill.

Raven has expanded the electricity system, so they have power in all public buildings now, as well as down at the farm, which is doing very well. They got a good harvest of root vegetables during the summer and fall, and Jordan’s optimistic about the wheat-like plant that they’ve planted for harvest next year, with plans of building a mill by the stream on the far side of the hill to hopefully be able to make flour or something similar that can be used for making bread. Echo’s boyfriend Thor and a couple of other Grounders from Podakru have worked on developing fishing nets, so they can fish more efficiently than with individual poles, and their hunting parties always return with a good haul.

They’ve decided to expand the village, building more cabins than they need at the moment, in preparation for a future that is looking brighter than Bellamy can remember it ever being. The hill stretches a few miles east from the lake, so they don’t have to worry about expanding down it, or moving altogether.

They’ve made this their home, and they plan to stay for generations to come, as long as everything goes according to plan. And for the first time in… possibly ever, he thinks they just might.

He’s stayed a little later than usual at the current construction site – an actual school building, so they won’t have to hold classes in the mess anymore and also in preparation for eventual childcare for younger kids, as, according to Clarke, a few couples are thinking about starting their own families soon. This means it’s dark by the time he gets home, even though they’ve passed the planet’s winter solstice and the days are slowly getting longer again.

He doesn’t even notice Clarke in one of the chairs on the porch until she speaks.

“Hey, babe.”

He doesn’t quite jump, but it’s close, and she chuckles lowly.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks, taking her in – blanket wrapped tightly around her against the chilly evening, her hands sticking out somewhere in the middle, a pad of paper that she brought from the Eligius ship in one and some charcoal in the other. “Can you even see well enough to draw?”

“Unlike you, I’m still young and have full use of my senses,” she teases him.

“Haha, very funny.” His eyes are starting to get used to the darkness, though, and he realizes that the shutter just behind Clarke is open, letting out the light from inside which spills over the page in front of her. He recognizes a smiling Wells, younger and more carefree than he ever saw the boy on the Ground.

She’s been working on a portrait gallery of friends and family loved and lost lately, hoping to be able to tell the kids, current and future, about their past someday. They even worked together to draw one of his mother, which turned out surprisingly close to what he remembers. Octavia had actually cried when she saw it. “Seriously though, what are you doing out here? Where are the kids?”

“Have a look,” she replies, indicating the open shutter with a nod, and Bellamy takes a step closer to look through the window.

Madi is sitting cross-legged on the couch, a book open in her lap, Damon on his tummy on a blanket in front of her and Lynx curled into a ball next to the baby. The cat took an instant shine to Damon when they carefully introduced the two a few days after his birth, and rarely leaves his side these days except during the nights when it’s out presumably hunting. Bellamy can tell even from here that Damon is intently focused on his sister, and completely still – he’s recently discovered that he can move on his own by sort of scooting around on his stomach (Clarke is convinced he’ll start crawling any day now even if Abby says it might still be a while) and rarely stays still for long these days, but now he seems completely enthralled. It takes Bellamy a moment to realize that Madi’s reading out loud.

“When the prince and the children arrived on the island of Crete, King Minos and his daughter, the Princess Ariadne, came out to greet them. The Princess Ariadne did not say anything. But her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Late that night, she wrote Prince Theseus a note and slipped it under his bedroom door.”

He slowly moves away from the window, not wanting to interrupt the moment inside the cabin, and sits down in the other chair on the porch. “She’s reading him Greek myths?” he asks incredulously.

“She found that book of myths for kids at the library,” Clarke replies with a smile. “And she knows you love them, so she wanted to get Damon interested in them too.”

The book had been among the ones they brought from the ship, and Bellamy’s not sure why exactly it ended up there – there hadn’t been any children on the ship while it was in use, after all – but he’s been looking forward to reading the children’s versions of all the myths to Damon. Though maybe when he’s a _little_ older.

“She really is something else, Madi,” he muses out loud. “Not sure what we did to deserve her.”

“I think it’s the other way around – _she’s_ the one who deserves _us_ ,” Clarke replies. “I feel like I’m still making sure I deserve her, and Damon, and you, and all of this, every single day.”

He reaches out to run his knuckles down her blanket-covered arm, and she puts the piece of charcoal down, turning her hand over and letting him interlace their fingers.

“No,” he tells her, voice low but determined. “We’re there. We’ve made it. We’ve ensured we won’t be the last of mankind, built this new society, and yeah, we’ll keep fighting any way we need to for it to survive if it comes to that, but we _do_ deserve it. OK?”

She just watches him for a long moment, before a soft smile spreads on her face. “Maybe you’re right,” she admits. “Maybe we do.”

As he leans back in the wooden chair, thumb rubbing circles against the back of Clarke’s hand, Madi’s voice drifting through the window behind him, interspersed here and there with Damon’s bright laugh or baby babbling, there is absolutely no doubt in Bellamy’s mind that they do. Yes, they’ve all done horrible things in the past, in the name of love for their friends, their families, their people… but now, now they’re making up for that by creating this new place where their children, and eventually their children’s children and so on, will be able to not just survive, but live – thrive.


	29. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe this is it, the end… it feels like only yesterday I started writing this fic, but at the same time it also feels like I’ve been posting it forever! I want to thank everyone who has gone on this journey with me, and a special big thanks to those of you who have taken the time to leave comments or kudos – they have made my day every single time.  
> I also want to take the opportunity to wish everyone happy holidays! I’m hoping to get some quiet time, but we’ll see how that goes…  
> That’s it, really… on with the epilogue!  
> As always, and for the last time (at least for now) I don’t own anything relating to The 100

**-Epilogue-**

 

Clarke watches as the children run around the open, enclosed space in front of the school building that they have turned into a sort of playground. Damon and Hope, being the oldest, have taken charge of the game, which seems to involve some sort of tag. The younger kids – Raven and Shaw’s one-year-old daughter, Leyla, among them – are happily going along with whatever they want, as usual.

Lynx is sitting on her haunches next to her, purring contentedly when Clarke scratches behind her ears. They discovered that Lynx is indeed female a few years ago, when she suddenly disappeared for a couple of months, only to return followed by four completely adorable kittens. Lynx has had another two litters since then, even though none of them have spotted another cat anywhere near the village. Clarke has just assumed that there’s a pack of them somewhere in the woods, or perhaps further away, and that Lynx joins them now and then. The all in all ten kittens have been distributed among the people who wanted them.

“You here to take over for me?” Shaw’s voice comes from behind her, and she turns to see him leaning against the wall nearby.

“If you want to take a break, sure,” she agrees. “But I need to get back to the med bay in half an hour or so.”

“That’s plenty of time,” he replies, gesturing at a dark stain on his shirt. “Niylah should be back soon anyway, and I just want to run home and change, Aran decided it was a good idea to throw overripe fruit at me earlier.”

Clarke can’t help but laugh at that, and he rolls his eyes before disappearing around the corner.

She sits down on the steps up to the school and turns her attention back to the kids – there have been twelve born in the two years and eight months since Damon, making fourteen in total. Not all of them are here, of course, some of them are still only babies and home with their parents, but there is a fairly large group and she’s very glad they’re contained and can’t go running off in ten different directions. She has a hard enough time keeping track of Damon and Hope when she’s alone with them, never mind another eight little hooligans.

They have organized childcare for children under school age now, most people in the village taking their turn to watch the kids with two people in charge of the group at a time. It’s one of Clarke’s favorite duties, even if she does still enjoy working in the med bay with her mom, Jackson and their new recruits.

There’s no reproduction program per se – something that had been suggested by Diyoza at one point but almost unanimously voted down by the council, at least for the time being – but people understand that to build a new society, they have to have children. There are currently seven women in various stages of pregnancy, among them Emori, who finally managed to convince Murphy a few months ago, and Clarke knows a couple more who are considering it.

She waves to Octavia as she emerges from her and Niylah’s cabin twenty yards down one of the paths leading from the school, and her sort-of-sister-in-law smiles and waves back before turning to head in the other direction.

When they first landed and started building the settlement, Octavia had moved in with Jordan, and for a while, Clarke had thought something might develop between them. In the end, though, he had started seeing a lovely Grounder girl, Kira, and when they moved in together almost three years ago, Octavia started rooming with Niylah. Clarke wasn’t exactly surprised when the two women became an item a few months later, but she might have been one of very few. Octavia had confided in her before anything happened between them, wanting Clarke’s help to figure out her feelings, and Clarke had done what she could.

Now, O and Niylah have been a couple for over two years, and Clarke knows that they’re trying to figure out some sort of arrangement with Miller and Jackson, considering artificial insemination – if they can figure out how to manage that with the limited medical equipment they have at hand – so they can start a slightly unconventional and larger than normal family, all four of them together.

“Well, well, well,” Bellamy’s voice announces his presence a moment before he flops down next to her on the steps. “Fancy seeing you here, Princess.”

As always when she sees him after some time apart – be it a few hours, like now, or a couple of days when he’s off on a longer hunting trip or she’s off gathering medicinal herbs with her mom or Jackson – Clarke feels her stomach swoop with familiar desire.

“Hi there,” she replies leaning over for a kiss. “Shouldn’t you be down at the farm?”

The farm down in the valley has grown enormously in the last few years, from one small plot to four large ones – one for root vegetables, one for their wheat, one for other vegetables, like a cucumber-ish one they came across just last year, and one for berries, especially a type that’s very similar to strawberries on Earth – plus there’s a large field for a small herd of goats that they have managed to domesticate, which gives them milk and wool for clothes. They also planted trees last summer to hopefully get an orchard in the next couple of years, so they’ll have their fruit in one place rather than having to scour the whole forest for it.

“Early day,” he tells her, sliding an arm around her waist to pull her into his side. “You on kid duty?”

“Not really. I was just taking a break and Zeke needed to change his shirt.”

“Aran?” Bellamy asks.

“Aran,” she confirms. The kid is known for his temper tantrums, which involves throwing whatever is close by more times than not.

They sit in silence for a moment, watching the kids run around, before Clarke speaks again.

“So… you think we’re ready for another one?”

She glances sideways just in time to catch his eyes widen and drop to her stomach. “You mean…?”

She quickly shakes her head. “No, of course not. Do you really think I’d get the implant out without even discussing it with you? I just thought we might… plan this one for a change.”

He chuckles at that.

“You mean as opposed to finding it or having it be a complete surprise?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

He’s quiet for so long, eyes staring into the distance, that she finally pokes him lightly in the side with her elbow.

“So? I think Damon’s at a good age, and Madi’s basically self-sufficient by now…”

Their adoptive daughter turned sixteen a few months ago – sometimes Clarke still can’t believe that – and has just started her apprenticeship in the med bay. Clarke was a little surprised when the girl decided that’s what she wanted to do, she had honestly expected her to follow Raven into the technical field, but it seems like a good fit so far. She’s also been hinting that it might be time for her to move into a cabin of her own, so they might not even need to add another bedroom if they do have a new baby, like they did when Damon was seven months.

Bellamy shakes his head as if clearing it and looks down at her, eyes serious. “You’re the one who’ll actually have to be pregnant and go through the delivery, so if you feel like you’re up for it, then hell yeah. I’d have a dozen kids with you if that’s what you want.”

“A dozen might be a few too many,” Clarke reasons. “But one more, maybe two… can I take that as a yes?”

“Of course,” he says, his fingers sneaking under her shirt and up her spine, warm against her skin. “Ask your mom to get the implant out as soon as possible. Isn’t Damon having a sleepover with Hope on Saturday? I’m sure we can suggest that Madi stays with Raven or one of her friends, start trying right away.”

Clarke has to laugh at that. It’s not like they don’t have sex with the kids in the house, but there’s always the risk of being interrupted by banging fists or an outraged cry at a less than ideal moment, so more often than not, it’s rushed. Clearly, Bellamy’s planning a real all-nighter, which they don’t get very often these days. “It probably won’t be that quick, my body has to realize the implant’s gone first.”

“Still…” he says, leaning a little closer and nuzzling the skin just below her ear, making her shiver. “Might as well get some practice in.”

“Right, because we _really_ need to practice that part.”

As it turns out, it _is_ that quick – almost, at least.

Iris Aurora Griffin comes into the world screaming her tiny lungs out eleven months and two weeks later, in the pre-dawn hours of a beautiful day in early spring.

Madi decided that she wanted to stay this time, insisting that childbirth will be one of her duties in the future, which none of them could really argue with. Even though it was obvious that the girl struggled a little at the end, when Clarke could no longer bear the intense pain silently, she stuck it out. Damon’s been with Diyoza and Hope since labor started the previous afternoon, though, so while Jackson and Madi clean Iris up and Abby helps Clarke with the afterbirth, Bellamy goes to pick him up.

Once Clarke’s propped up against a mountain of pillows, the newborn asleep on her chest and Madi next to her in the bed, Bellamy enters the room again, Damon on his hip. The little boy’s eyes widen when he sees his little sister for the first time.

They’ve tried to let him be a part of the process, explaining from an early stage that there’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy and that he’ll have a little sister soon – they decided to find out the sex this time around – and even though Clarke’s not sure exactly how much he understands at his age, he’s been very excited the last few weeks.

“That’s the baby that was in Mommy’s tummy,” Bellamy says, sitting down on the edge of the bed and keeping a firm but gentle grip on the wriggling toddler to keep him from jumping onto the bed. “Remember?”

“Baby come out?” Damon asks.

“That’s right, the baby came out,” Clarke tells him. “You’re a big brother now, and she’s your sister.”

Damon turns to Madi, eyebrows adorably furrowed, and she twists her face into a funny grimace for him. “Madi my sistew.”

“I’m your sister too, but this is our baby sister. Can you say that?” Madi asks.

“Baby sistew.”

Clarke laughs – Damon’s speech is coming along nicely, but he has some trouble with the letter R. “Close enough.”

“Remember what we talked about, bud?” Bellamy asks, trying to keep Damon’s attention and failing miserably. “How you have to look out for your baby sister like Madi looks out for you? Make sure the big kids don’t tease her and that she’s not sad when Mommy and Daddy aren’t there?”

“Uh-huh.” Damon nods his head vigorously though Clarke’s not sure he’s really paying attention. Bellamy’s letting him lean forward so he can pat the bundle that is the baby wrapped in her blanket, and he seems completely fascinated by her.

“Good, buddy. But you’re just her big brother, OK? Everything else is Mommy and Daddy’s job, not yours. Do you understand?”

“Uh-huh, Daddy!” Damon repeats, and Clarke knows that he probably hasn’t taken in much of what Bellamy’s said.

She also knows that he needed to say it anyway, that he doesn’t want Damon and Iris’ relationship to be like his and Octavia’s – they’re in a good place now, great even, but it’s taken a lot of time and effort to get there, and there’s been so much heartache along the way. So it was important for him to get this out there.

She reaches a hand out to squeeze his arm, telling him without words that she understands, and he smiles at her.

Your sister. _Our_ responsibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s all she wrote… I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading this fic as much as I did writing it. I’m not ruling out revisiting this universe in the future, though I suspect season six might discourage me… and right now, I’m working on something else, something completely different. It’s probably (hopefully?) about halfway written, and I know where it’s going and sort of how to get there, I just need to work out the details. So if you’re interested, keep an eye out at some point in the new year – that’s nice and vague, right ;)  
> But for now, this is goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this first chapter! I have most of the story already written and I'll try to update regularly if there's any interest - so let me know what you think! Also, English is not my first language, so I hope there aren't too many typos or weird sentences :) Oh, and this chapter was unbeta'd, but if anyone feels inclined to help with future chapters, send me a message!


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